FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Advice for cpl looking to meet fem

Advice for cpl looking to meet fem

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi we are new to the site and are looking for some advice on getting chatting to and maybe meeting up with a woman. Have sent messages but not had much luck so far we have been polite and included face pictures tried to be interesting. Does it basically come down to age and looks as you can't really reflect your personality in a single message. Do we need to improve our profile we are photo verified and have some pictures on our profile. Any advice is gratefully appreciated from couples with success in getting meets and woman who are looking to meet couples as to what makes couples stand out. Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd say that your profile is fine and it is just down to personal preference of the ladies you are contacting. Are you getting polite 'no thanks' messages or rude/nasty replies? xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Not really getting replys just messages getting deleted with no reply which is fine as we understand that women on here probably get inundated with messages so can't reply to them all or messages been read but no reply and not deleted. Just trying to give ourselfs the best chance of getting to know people on here and maybe lead to meets thanks for your post it is appreciated

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

best bet to meet single ladies is a club.

very very rarely happens on here as lots af singles have been messed around or scared off meeting couples by some being unhinged

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not really getting replys just messages getting deleted with no reply which is fine as we understand that women on here probably get inundated with messages so can't reply to them all or messages been read but no reply and not deleted. Just trying to give ourselfs the best chance of getting to know people on here and maybe lead to meets thanks for your post it is appreciated"

Just a thought change his photo to one not showing his long hair, that might be putting some off,

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By *edangel_2013Woman over a year ago

southend

Don't agree with the above, if long hair puts people off, better to do it with a photo in the first place then over a drink before the fun starts.

The fact you have soft swing ticked would be enough to put me off initially. Simply because it indicates I can't have full sex with the male, that might be a wrong assumption on my part, but it would be my initial thought.

The profile isn't too bad, nothing stands out though, but it is well written, which makes a change.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Best advice we can give go to clubs and socials build up personal relationships with people much more likely to meet and play then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go a club and mingle is the best way.

every profile on here is looking for single women,so to succeed you need to really stand out.

more pics would help.

alot of single women are not interested in been part of a live sex show for a male.

maybe let your Mrs meet women alone a few times first

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best bet to meet single ladies is a club.

very very rarely happens on here as lots af singles have been messed around or scared off meeting couples by some being unhinged"

Oddly enough some friends and I went to Chams on a Saturday night which is couples and ladies only, didn't get chatted up by anyone, in fact given big round room and couples room was full up, I would say that the couples there seemed to have arranged to meet other couples

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you have only been on the site for 3 weeks.

While people on here primarily for sex, it doesn't mean anyone can log in and pick up a woman when they want.

You're profile seems fine, keep chatting and it will happen.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Soft swap will limit interest - why would a female choose you over a couple that offer full swap? She may as well just meet a single female.

Harsh reality is that longhair (is it dreadlocks?) and ink will go against you. The swinging scene tends to be quite conservative.

As others have said, try clubs and socials.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh and can't accommodate - from previous threads single women tend to be reluctant to accommodate for couples

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best bet to meet single ladies is a club.

very very rarely happens on here as lots af singles have been messed around or scared off meeting couples by some being unhinged

have absolutely no doubt.

most will probably wait for you to approach.

we wouldnt even begin to know how to approach somone and ask her to join us lol.

i would feel like a perv

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all the advice and feedback so far. Not sure getting rid of his long hair is going to suddenly up our success rate and i like his long hair as i asked him to grow it and are not prepared to change who we are its all about being yourself. Bit surprised that you say the swinging scene is conservative is this from experience or just your opinion. We have discussed going to a club but would it not be the same scenario as on here that there would be lots of couples competing so to speak for the single ladies. I am not looking to go on dates on my own as that is not why we decided to try this we want to share the experience together and we know our boundaries. We know soft swapping limits our chances of success but it is more about my bisexual desire.

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By *edangel_2013Woman over a year ago

southend

Don't change anything just to get laid. Just be prepared to wait a little longer for what you want. As someone said you've only been here a few weeks. Some couples wait a very long time to find a bi female let alone the right one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bit surprised that you say the swinging scene is conservative is this from experience or just your opinion. "

From experience. The kink scene seems to have a significant crossover of alt/metal/goth types but they are a rarity on the swinging scene. And as much as we love the swinging scene it is decidedly middle of the road

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure getting rid of his long hair is going to suddenly up our success rate "

Not saying get rid of it just hide it till you get talking to people

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Don't get us wrong this post isn't a moan or feeling sorry for ourselves, we know it takes time and effort which is what we are prepared for and know we have only just started. We are just after advice and tips to give ourselves the best chance like people say there is no substitute for experience and was hoping to pick the brains of those who have been doing this longer. Very appreciative of any good advice thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

go get some cam verifies, as a couple its a start, and as others suggest maybe try a club

make sure its not the male half doing all the talking in mails, and give early phone calls from female to female

also, remember its sometimes more daunting meeting a couple who know each other well and ur left feeling a bit spare

perhaps arrange social meetups also, like a coffee,drink,meal

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Would hiding his long hair not be hiding who you are so you are not being yourself. Would that not be the same as telling me to hide my chest just in case someone doesn't like large breasts. Would rather show who we are from the off. Not being rude or insulting but the advice about hair is from a man and we are not trying to attract a man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

How do you get cam verified without talking to people we have been photo verified. Most of the messages we send are wrote by me the female half. We agree with what you say about meeting a couple can be daunting that's why we are polite, courteous and not pushy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would hiding his long hair not be hiding who you are so you are not being yourself. Would that not be the same as telling me to hide my chest just in case someone doesn't like large breasts. Would rather show who we are from the off. Not being rude or insulting but the advice about hair is from a man and we are not trying to attract a man."

I thought the advice of hiding pictures of him was pretty odd. Countless posts on the forums criticising couples for doing exactly that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yes we agree hiding who you are doesn't make sense to us. If they are put off by long hair it may as well be the first thing they see rather than wasting time chatting and getting to know someone then them being put of by long hair.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have had several single female regulars, all of whom have come about through socials and other friendships from other sites...it's not something we actively seek, we prefer couples...but it is how we've done it when it's happened...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best bet to meet single ladies is a club.

very very rarely happens on here as lots af singles have been messed around or scared off meeting couples by some being unhinged"

Unhinged is the polite word lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes we agree hiding who you are doesn't make sense to us. If they are put off by long hair it may as well be the first thing they see rather than wasting time chatting and getting to know someone then them being put of by long hair. "

I take no offence at all, yes I know your not seeking men and as you saw when you looked at my profile I am not looking for men

you would be surprised what people do hide, I meet one lady who hides her Tattoos, one I met a while ago who had had a mastectomy, there are Lot of people out there hiding things, I am just suggesting that that it might help you talking to people,

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By *leasurexxWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

Us single fems are spoilt for choice and as several posts have mentioned soft swap, not accommodating ,no verifications would all make me steer clear. Also not keen on men dressed up in PVC (personal choice)...you have to imagine your inviting a single woman to meet you it takes a lot of courage on our part so if one thing puts us off usually it won't happen xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Getting great feedback and advice thanks all who have contributed it is welcome.

We understand the single women will get loads of messages each day that's why we asked for advice on how to stand out. We are always willing to and seeking to learn. What's the best way of getting verification's if we aren't getting meets . And yes everything is personal choice but i think he is sexy in those shorts but then i am biased lol.

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By *et a roomCouple over a year ago

Leeds

If you try visiting clubs or attending socials you will easily be able to get verified that way. It also is an ideal opportunity to get chatting to other people, some of them women.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We did look at visiting a club in Amsterdam but got put of by the fact that at a certain time you had to undress and just wear underwear as we are both not that comfortable with our bodies. we might have to look into visiting one in this country any recommendations on best place to go for beginners and nights to go.

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By *ubybabyCouple over a year ago

lincoln ish

i get loads of couples wanting to play with me on my own xxx bless xxx i gracefully point out that i have a partner and we like to be together on all first meets .safety first. after that it all depends on how you have carried your selves on that first meet. if you were good then we carry on from therexxx if not then we dont meet again

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By *p4u77Woman over a year ago

Norwich

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah you are who you are. It's better to be up front rather than hide something that could be the opposite of what people want, right?

Would you rathe have dozens of people that stop messaging and never get anywhere? Or a few solid people who really like you for you? C xx

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By *imjohnCouple over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

Message & make friends with single women without being vulgar, pushy, threatening etc, don't expect a shag overnight or in the near future as trust as to be built first.

If you seem & are genuine enough it will happen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

About the long hair. I would leave it on the pics. Cause lots of ladies like long hair including me. And they are going to see you have long hair when they met you anyway. I feel your pain as we would like to meet a single fem as well. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Message & make friends with single women without being vulgar, pushy, threatening etc, don't expect a shag overnight or in the near future as trust as to be built first.

If you seem & are genuine enough it will happen."

Couldn't have said it better.A woman playing alone has to trust her gut instincts.This may sometimes come across as being picky, arrogant or rude but if you saw some of the responses and messages that we receive you would understand.

Make friends,chat to women you are interested just like you would in person.Don't reduce the object of your desire to an object(!),a toy for the sole purpose of satisfying your desires/fantasies and soon enough you will all get what you want, despite all the lament about the elusive single bi female, we are on the site to play and have fun too

Best of luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Message & make friends with single women without being vulgar, pushy, threatening etc, don't expect a shag overnight or in the near future as trust as to be built first.

If you seem & are genuine enough it will happen.

Best of luck"

Great advice. We are a couple but if I were a single woman on my own this would be so true for me

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By *emon tart Double creamCouple over a year ago

Leeds

I would suggest going to clubs or a social. We've been to La Chambre in Sheffield and you don't have to undress if you don't want to. Downstairs is just like a normal pub/club (other than the porn on the tv's!) so you chat to other people or just ignore if you want. No one is in your face and no one is expecting you to have sex with them...it's just a really good atmosphere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Got to say we are overwhelmed by all the advice and response's to our post. Look's like the community on here is great and we are glad to be apart off it. Will have a look at la chambre and maybe organise a visit. We are not looking for a quick cheap thrill we are looking to meet new people, make new friends and share new experiences.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best bet to meet single ladies is a club.

very very rarely happens on here as lots af singles have been messed around or scared off meeting couples by some being unhinged

have absolutely no doubt.

most will probably wait for you to approach.

we wouldnt even begin to know how to approach somone and ask her to join us lol.

i would feel like a perv

I vote to perv too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well we looked at la chambre last night and it looks like a real nice place and lots of fun. Is saturday night better than friday due to fact that only couples and single girls allowed or are the single males respectful on fridays and not pushy. Do you find many single ladies going on either night.

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By *ubybabyCouple over a year ago

lincoln ish

the single males can be a nightmare on fridays some are ok but some are a pain sat is the better night for you xxx

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By *eather_satinCouple over a year ago

West Sussex

"Hi we are new to the site and are looking for some advice on getting chatting to and maybe meeting up with a woman. Have sent messages but not had much luck so far we have been polite and included face pictures tried to be interesting. Does it basically come down to age and looks as you can't really reflect your personality in a single message. Do we need to improve our profile we are photo verified and have some pictures on our profile. Any advice is gratefully appreciated from couples with success in getting meets and woman who are looking to meet couples as to what makes couples stand out. Thanks"

We've been having the same problems. I don't take any of it personally as I am also a very fussy lady.

We're going to Eurekas on 31st in the hope we'll have more luck.

Hope you find her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best bet to meet single ladies is a club.

very very rarely happens on here as lots af singles have been messed around or scared off meeting couples by some being unhinged

have absolutely no doubt.

most will probably wait for you to approach.

we wouldnt even begin to know how to approach somone and ask her to join us lol.

i would feel like a perv

I vote to perv too

i never said TO perv, i said A perv lol

the former is NEVER a bad thing lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"the single males can be a nightmare on fridays some are ok but some are a pain sat is the better night for you xxx"

Thanks looks like we will have our first visit on a Saturday night to get a feel for the place any tips or advice from anyone for our first visit from anyone welcome.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We love ink and are both inked (see profile)

You guys seem cool and are the sort of people we would click with I suspect... That's NOT a line btw lol

So there ya go.... A different opinion

Don't change a thing to appease the masses... Remember that at the end of the day this is a vanilla site,

Good luck and get more ink

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Never intended to change who we are just wanted to give our selfs the best chance to attract what we are looking for. Always good to get another point of view and use other peoples knowledge and experience. You never stop learning. All the comments and advice have been welcome and helped us in some way so thanks to all who have contributed so far and anyone who wants to add more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Would just like to thank everyone for their tips and advice. It has helped us generate interest and got us chatting to people. Really pleased we joined the site enjoying the social side of it lots.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would just like to thank everyone for their tips and advice. It has helped us generate interest and got us chatting to people. Really pleased we joined the site enjoying the social side of it lots.

yeahh, now its time to shag a single guy (me)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks sweetie but neither of us are into men

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Deffo do La Chamber on a Saturday, I've been once on a Friday, never again!

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By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Don't change who you are, or try and hide it - I would see that as deceptive and be worried what else you were hiding.

Its very intimidating for a single lady to meet a couple, so it does take time.

I'd also say, I found your profile a bit one sided. Its all about what you guys what, and not about what you are offering the lady, especially important if its soft swing you are looking for. That doesn't make it impossible - just harder to find the right lady.

Bi-fems are in big demand - and as has been said, you need to persuade them why soft swing is better than full swap.

Soft swing isn't for me as I don't like to only be allowed to play with one half of a couple. It feels kinda like being used as a starter dish, and then being kicked out for the main course

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks mooreish will definitely be looking at going on a saturday for our first time.

Thanks Ladybee for advice will add something to our profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks to everyone for all your advice have taken it on board and tweeked our profile also tried to send better messages as well hopefully will lead to some meets.

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By *otTheReal01Man over a year ago

London

"Bit surprised that you say the swinging scene is conservative is this from experience or just your opinion.

Totally agree with this. Swinging seems bizarrely conservative.

Use metal types are few and far between. As stated, more in the kink scene I think.

As for the long hair, solidarity brother!

I figured I'd may as well make the fact I've got a goatee and long hair completely obvious so changed my profile pic to show it. I'm sure it means I get passed over by many folks on here but so be it, it's who I am.

Metal forever.

\m/ o_O \m/

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Just a thought change his photo to one not showing his long hair, that might be putting some off, "

So what is the point of hiding it, if it's going to put someone off? Better to be honest and upfront to save wasting anyone's time.

We state in our profile text that Mr B has long hair and it can be seen in a couple of his pics. Yes it puts quite a few women off but we are never going to appeal to everyone anyway!

Lost count of the comments like he would be good looking if he had short hair or come back to us if he ever gets his hair cut. Err no thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

usually a single fem if looking to meet a couple would like to see pics of the man, cock, ass, chest, etc,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The only things going against you as has been said is being soft swap and not being able to accommodate, going to a club will help you with the latter. Going to clubs also gets you meeting people face to face and in our experience people that would pass you by on a website may talk to you in a club. If you want to get chatting to more on here don't hang around waiting for p.m.s, that will only get you frustrated. Posting in the forums will get you noticed and then go in the chat rooms as there ate often single women chatting in there .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a thought change his photo to one not showing his long hair, that might be putting some off, "

If he has long hair then show it

You are you and show yourself

I am a single lady and will only meet in clubs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best bet to meet single ladies is a club.

very very rarely happens on here as lots af singles have been messed around or scared off meeting couples by some being unhinged

have absolutely no doubt.

most will probably wait for you to approach.

we wouldnt even begin to know how to approach somone and ask her to join us lol.

i would feel like a perv

you are a perv

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By *oonshadowsCouple over a year ago

Lytham St Annes

How did your visit to La Chambre go?

If you can arrange to travel, Townhouse on the Wirral is a very relaxed, gentle club to visit and more goth/metal/alternative friendly than most clubs - Vicki the owner has some amazing ink x

Having been on here as a single woman I would say your profile reads very well but a verification that you are 'real' helps. You can get a cam veri by simply going into the chat rooms on cam and asking someone to say they have seen you and chatted to you - you need to use a computer rather than tablet or phone though x

You can also get a verification from chatting to people at clubs and don't forget, with a number of couples would be happy for just the girls to play which could be a different way if exploring your bi side together.

Good luck

Nina x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Going on forums and chat has certainly attracted lots of interest and might even lead to a meet hopefully. Haven't visted any clubs yet as busy month but will look to do this in the future. Would a webcam verification make much difference as have read that some people pay no attention to them is it similar to being photo verified and would it mean that people who overlooked us would be interested when we had one just curious to opinions on this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Welcome to the world of Fab

I'm afraid, we have been on the site over a year and frequent clubs and still find single women are most elusive

You may be extremely lucky on rare occasions but the unfortunate reality is this is an extremely RARE occasion

But good luck trying and don't give up

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By *renchbambi xWoman over a year ago

Need to know basis

[Removed by poster at 06/02/14 12:10:11]

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By *renchbambi xWoman over a year ago

Need to know basis

"[Removed by poster at 06/02/14 12:10:11]"

Blooming predictive text....

Hint hint....search the forums for a Fab Forum social at VA on 28th June. That way you get to go to a club and meet forumites and Fab members, have fun and get verified. You may even meet some single ladies

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By *andyandyukMan over a year ago

Gainford

Hi, I have looked at your profile and it seems fine, well written and good photos,

One thing that did stand out to me was that you state 'no intercourse'

perhaps a prospective lady may want that as part of the overall fun, I know you have preferences which you are quite right to have, It's just an observation.

also possibly console yourselves with the thought that single men trying to hook up with a couple or single lady is very difficult here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The question comes up so many times. If people look for a bi lady remember the word bi. A lot of lady's have partners so therefore would be looking for a single theirselves. So odds are stacked against you as the ones who do meet Cpls have so much choice. But good luck

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Soft swing puts me off straight away. I'm not a lesbian, so I want to play with both parties.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Soft swing puts me off straight away. I'm not a lesbian, so I want to play with both parties. "

again, here is the soft swing bash.

who says soft play is just the women playing with each other?

if they prick your interest, ask them their boundaries instead of just dismissing them outright.

you never know, you may be pleasantly suprised

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best bet to meet single ladies is a club.

very very rarely happens on here as lots af singles have been messed around or scared off meeting couples by some being unhinged

have absolutely no doubt.

most will probably wait for you to approach.

we wouldnt even begin to know how to approach somone and ask her to join us lol.

i would feel like a perv

you are a perv

in the words of elaine paige, you know me so well lol

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By *renchbambi xWoman over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Soft swing puts me off straight away. I'm not a lesbian, so I want to play with both parties. "

Being a lesbian does not mean there is no penetration...as strange as that may seem....Strap ons...double enders and more penetrative toys are used by bisexual women as well as lesbians! Not the same as a hard cock but close.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

While I appreciate your opinions, in my opinion, not being penetrated by the guy, makes it lesbian play. If I'm not getting fucked by the guy, I'm not playing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Soft swing puts me off straight away. I'm not a lesbian, so I want to play with both parties.

I was in lesbian relationships for 12 years, I'm well aware of how lesbians have sex.

The OP asked for advice and I gave my thoughts. I'm not bashing soft swing at all, it's just not an option for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"While I appreciate your opinions, in my opinion, not being penetrated by the guy, makes it lesbian play. If I'm not getting fucked by the guy, I'm not playing."

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By *renchbambi xWoman over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Soft swing puts me off straight away. I'm not a lesbian, so I want to play with both parties.

I was in lesbian relationships for 12 years, I'm well aware of how lesbians have sex.

The OP asked for advice and I gave my thoughts. I'm not bashing soft swing at all, it's just not an option for me.

I never thought you were....just me butting in and writing things as they come out of my brains...somehow my thoughts are very clear but they do not translate so well on 'virtual paper

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Soft swing puts me off straight away. I'm not a lesbian, so I want to play with both parties.

I was in lesbian relationships for 12 years, I'm well aware of how lesbians have sex.

The OP asked for advice and I gave my thoughts. I'm not bashing soft swing at all, it's just not an option for me.

I never thought you were....just me butting in and writing things as they come out of my brains...somehow my thoughts are very clear but they do not translate so well on 'virtual paper

Apologies, I meant to quote venusandhercules.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Soft swing puts me off straight away. I'm not a lesbian, so I want to play with both parties.

I was in lesbian relationships for 12 years, I'm well aware of how lesbians have sex.

The OP asked for advice and I gave my thoughts. I'm not bashing soft swing at all, it's just not an option for me.

I never thought you were....just me butting in and writing things as they come out of my brains...somehow my thoughts are very clear but they do not translate so well on 'virtual paper

Apologies, I meant to quote venusandhercules."

thats absolutely fine, and your perogative, i just dont understand how it can be lesbian play, when i could be fully involved, as much as the ladies, just without the penetration.

if im performing oral sex on you, then its no more lesbian than foreplay for you on a normal meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A big thank you to all who contributed to this thread in a positive way we got what we have been after last night from a fantastic and fun lady. Came out of the blue but was well worth it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't see how having ink will go against u? Our friends list and couples we've met who are very hot seem to think the opposite and infact some have a fair bit of ink themselves of course it's personal preference but can't see how you can talk on behalf of the swinging community.... Just a thought

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