FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Age... why such strict restrictions?!
Age... why such strict restrictions?!
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By *coobyDJ OP Man
over a year ago
watford |
Hi all
Fairly new to this site, though a more active member elsewhere, and one thing that both confuses and frustrates me in equal measure is why a lot of people seem to have such strict, rigid age restrictions on their profile.
Now I get that of course we all have a limit as to what age we're generally attracted to and would like to meet but here's my point. Take someone that's restricted their age range to say 28-35. Are you really telling me that if a very attractive, like minded person came along but they were say 36 that would suddenly be a deal breaker?! Just seems crazy to me! Why restrict yourself from meeting some potentially great people just for that.
Age is ultimately just a number after all. I prefer to judge the individual myself. Age isn't a indicator of attractiveness. There'll be a many a 40 year old woman/man who's a hell of a lot more attractive than a 20 year old woman/man!
Anyway, I may be alone on this but just wanted to throw it out there!
Happy new year all! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so why have age limits on your own profile?"
Can we guess that the answer is because preferences are ok when hey are your own but are a terrible thing when they exclude you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does this cone from you seeing someone you like to message but you are too old?
we have age limits because Nik doesn't want to meet men her dads age.and we can |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so why have age limits on your own profile?
Can we guess that the answer is because preferences are ok when hey are your own but are a terrible thing when they exclude you?"
lol
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I guess there are many reasons why, some may have had bad experiences with younger than them, or for example a younger member may have it set to maximum of 35 because a parent of said member maybe 36 and it then feels too awkward, for most it's likely a guideline age bracket and a few years either side they are flexible |
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I don't think that age is just a number I think there is much enjoyment to be gained from meeting people of different age groups simply because attitudes, experience and reference points will be different. That said we're here for erotic experiences and absolutely reserve the right to select an age range that we feel suits us and we're most comfortable with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Age is just a number. There are plenty of forty and fifty somethings with buff bodies and who know their onions. Whilst plenty much younger have eaten way too many eclairs( its my thyroid honest....)
However everyone has the right to set whatever age criteria they think serves their purposes best. Restrictive or not fair play to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so why have age limits on your own profile?
Can we guess that the answer is because preferences are ok when hey are your own but are a terrible thing when they exclude you?"
thats what i thought myself |
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By *coobyDJ OP Man
over a year ago
watford |
Haha to be fair I guess I've asked for most of these replies so far!!
I was just putting it out there generically really but yes of course I have seen some people that seem like people I'd get on really well with then notice their age limit is say 35... when you're just a year older than that it can seem frustrating that you then can't then even contact them to see how you'd get on, what you have in common etc!
As for my own age range yes I do have one on my profile but to be fair it's 18-48. It's purposely a wide age range so as not to restrict most people.
I don't know, I guess because I generally prefer to judge someone on their personality and looks first and foremost their age becomes secondary in that regard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't know, I guess because I generally prefer to judge someone on their personality and looks first and foremost their age becomes secondary in that regard. "
Then go to clubs and socials and meet people in real life. Online things will always be more black and white. |
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"
As for my own age range yes I do have one on my profile but to be fair it's 18-48. It's purposely a wide age range so as not to restrict most people.
I don't know, I guess because I generally prefer to judge someone on their personality and looks first and foremost their age becomes secondary in that regard. "
Except people like us  .
18-48 doesn't really include most people and it seems to me that you're doing exactly what you claim everyone else is  |
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By *coobyDJ OP Man
over a year ago
watford |
"Then go to clubs and socials and meet people in real life. Online things will always be more black and white."
I do, as I said this was more a generic question rather than individual to me. Was just curious as to other peoples thoughts on it. The reality is I'm sure some aren't the most truthful about their ages anyway! |
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By *coobyDJ OP Man
over a year ago
watford |
"
As for my own age range yes I do have one on my profile but to be fair it's 18-48. It's purposely a wide age range so as not to restrict most people.
I don't know, I guess because I generally prefer to judge someone on their personality and looks first and foremost their age becomes secondary in that regard.
Except people like us .
18-48 doesn't really include most people and it seems to me that you're doing exactly what you claim everyone else is "
Ok it's a fair point! The truth is my preferred age range would probably be lower than 48 but widened it out regardless for the reasons I've mentioned earlier, that I don't like to be too restrictive. Though I realise that having an age limit on my profile at all does make me somewhat of a hypocrite with regard to the question I'm trying to ask so have now removed it altogether! |
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By *coobyDJ OP Man
over a year ago
watford |
"Mine are a guide only, that's why my filters are not set, just in case I miss out on someone who is just a year or two outwith  "
Exactly, see that I get. Having it as a guide. So if someone says a max age of say 35 then a 50 year old will know he's most likely wasting his time by making contact... but at least he still can. I'm more referring to the profiles on here where you're literally blocked from making contact at all! |
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"
As for my own age range yes I do have one on my profile but to be fair it's 18-48. It's purposely a wide age range so as not to restrict most people.
I don't know, I guess because I generally prefer to judge someone on their personality and looks first and foremost their age becomes secondary in that regard.
Except people like us .
18-48 doesn't really include most people and it seems to me that you're doing exactly what you claim everyone else is
Ok it's a fair point! The truth is my preferred age range would probably be lower than 48 but widened it out regardless for the reasons I've mentioned earlier, that I don't like to be too restrictive. Though I realise that having an age limit on my profile at all does make me somewhat of a hypocrite with regard to the question I'm trying to ask so have now removed it altogether! "
I hope you have a lot of fun whatever age the people you meet are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a lower age limit as I have no wish to meet anyone my sons ages. Can't tell you how much that doesn't push my buttons. Neither do I want to "teach them how it's done!"
Just sticking my five penn'th in. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" The truth is my preferred age range would probably be lower than 48 but widened it out regardless for the reasons "
So regardless of other posts saying it is a general question, what this really boils down to is a whinge about the fact that you prefer younger women and feel that they should relax their preferences and restrictions to accommodate yours? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all
Fairly new to this site, though a more active member elsewhere, and one thing that both confuses and frustrates me in equal measure is why a lot of people seem to have such strict, rigid age restrictions on their profile.
Now I get that of course we all have a limit as to what age we're generally attracted to and would like to meet but here's my point. Take someone that's restricted their age range to say 28-35. Are you really telling me that if a very attractive, like minded person came along but they were say 36 that would suddenly be a deal breaker?! Just seems crazy to me! Why restrict yourself from meeting some potentially great people just for that.
Age is ultimately just a number after all. I prefer to judge the individual myself. Age isn't a indicator of attractiveness. There'll be a many a 40 year old woman/man who's a hell of a lot more attractive than a 20 year old woman/man!
Anyway, I may be alone on this but just wanted to throw it out there!
Happy new year all! x "
Because it's people's preferences?! Is that such a crime?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we started off with a strict age limit of 30-45 as V has no interest in people older than herself, or young enough to be her kids, however we have discussed things since, and some that are younger would suit what we were talking about so we have changed them.
either way, as you say, its jsut a number.
its more of an attitude than anything else.
have been messaged by older people that seem extremely immature |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so why have age limits on your own profile?
Can we guess that the answer is because preferences are ok when hey are your own but are a terrible thing when they exclude you?"
18 to 99 is hardly having preferances |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine are a guide only, that's why my filters are not set, just in case I miss out on someone who is just a year or two outwith "
I was about to say just this, although admittedly on the whole the gents I prefer are within my preferred range. However, you just never know do you. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Mine are a guide only, that's why my filters are not set, just in case I miss out on someone who is just a year or two outwith
I was about to say just this, although admittedly on the whole the gents I prefer are within my preferred range. However, you just never know do you. "
I would hope so! 
But your right and is the reason why I don't filter out any....just in case |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so why have age limits on your own profile?
Can we guess that the answer is because preferences are ok when hey are your own but are a terrible thing when they exclude you?
18 to 99 is hardly having preferances"
he has taken it off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it was up to some people on this site everyone would be shagging everyone regardless of age, level of attraction or sexual preferences. We've got our age limits and we're very happy with them. |
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By *coobyDJ OP Man
over a year ago
watford |
" The truth is my preferred age range would probably be lower than 48 but widened it out regardless for the reasons
So regardless of other posts saying it is a general question, what this really boils down to is a whinge about the fact that you prefer younger women and feel that they should relax their preferences and restrictions to accommodate yours? "
Does it? Where have I said that? For some reason you seem to be wanting to make it a personal question, it's not. It's a generic one that also included my own experiences of it. I've not 'whinged' at all and I don't think anyone should do anything they don't want to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we started off with a strict age limit of 30-45 as V has no interest in people older than herself, or young enough to be her kids, however we have discussed things since, and some that are younger would suit what we were talking about so we have changed them.
either way, as you say, its jsut a number.
its more of an attitude than anything else.
have been messaged by older people that seem extremely immature"
Imhurt now
Gary  |
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By *coobyDJ OP Man
over a year ago
watford |
Seems some get where I'm coming from with it, others disagree and others think it's a personal whinge. It's far from the latter!
My own thoughts are that putting an age range as a guide is best. That way people know before even contacting you what your preferred age range is. But then every now and then someone slightly over or slightly under that age range may just really catch your eye and could be a great person to meet. So why restrict fully by actually blocking outside of those ranges. Though I do get of course that many receive a hell of a lot of messages and that would just open it up to even more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say immaturity comes in all ages....sexual maturity is something that comes with age ....Some of those ive seen joining are only 18 .....i want a guy to be sexually confident in the bedroom and know how to treat a lady out of it......i dont want to be anyones teachers because im way older. its all about choice really  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we started off with a strict age limit of 30-45 as V has no interest in people older than herself, or young enough to be her kids, however we have discussed things since, and some that are younger would suit what we were talking about so we have changed them.
either way, as you say, its jsut a number.
its more of an attitude than anything else.
have been messaged by older people that seem extremely immature
Imhurt now
Gary "
tbf, i think either of us could have written that lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems some get where I'm coming from with it, others disagree and others think it's a personal whinge. It's far from the latter!
My own thoughts are that putting an age range as a guide is best. That way people know before even contacting you what your preferred age range is. But then every now and then someone slightly over or slightly under that age range may just really catch your eye and could be a great person to meet. So why restrict fully by actually blocking outside of those ranges. Though I do get of course that many receive a hell of a lot of messages and that would just open it up to even more. "
As an example... If their profile states they are looking for 30 - 40 and their filters restrict only 30 - 40 people to mail them- maybe the actual range of people they are looking for is 32 - 38.
How do you know they haven't already allowed a bit of leeway? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all
Fairly new to this site, though a more active member elsewhere, and one thing that both confuses and frustrates me in equal measure is why a lot of people seem to have such strict, rigid age restrictions on their profile.
Now I get that of course we all have a limit as to what age we're generally attracted to and would like to meet but here's my point. Take someone that's restricted their age range to say 28-35. Are you really telling me that if a very attractive, like minded person came along but they were say 36 that would suddenly be a deal breaker?! Just seems crazy to me! Why restrict yourself from meeting some potentially great people just for that.
Age is ultimately just a number after all. I prefer to judge the individual myself. Age isn't a indicator of attractiveness. There'll be a many a 40 year old woman/man who's a hell of a lot more attractive than a 20 year old woman/man!
Anyway, I may be alone on this but just wanted to throw it out there!
Happy new year all! x "
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"Haha to be fair I guess I've asked for most of these replies so far!!
I was just putting it out there generically really but yes of course I have seen some people that seem like people I'd get on really well with then notice their age limit is say 35... when you're just a year older than that it can seem frustrating that you then can't then even contact them to see how you'd get on, what you have in common etc!
As for my own age range yes I do have one on my profile but to be fair it's 18-48. It's purposely a wide age range so as not to restrict most people.
I don't know, I guess because I generally prefer to judge someone on their personality and looks first and foremost their age becomes secondary in that regard. "
yes but at 49 they could be really nice and u as u say yourself could be missing out  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I always think anyone who says "age is just a number" isn't someone who we would consider meeting anyway as they obviously don't like people to have preferences.
For us, we don't have filters or a rigid age range, but it is up to us to decide wether we want that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought the same as the OP tbh, originally
45= ok
46? That's crazy talk n perverted as..
Ours?
Lower limit = kid potential
Upper = generally set near my age = old fart
Tbh I find, at work and generally, that blokes my age are beer-gutted, baldies... And not attractive to my OH....Whereas I'm a svelt(ish) skateboarder with stamina lol
Don't filter though.... Some interesting peeps about
X
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By *ex.IncCouple
over a year ago
Castleford |
We fall out of a lot of peoples age ranges but have a 5 year discretionary buffer. We have our own for reasons like many have said. Somedon't want young and we don't want old, thats what preferences are for. But although we would not play, we are more than happy to socialise with those outside it and have good friends in all upper age brackets. |
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By *aisy100Woman
over a year ago
wakefield |
" The truth is my preferred age range would probably be lower than 48 but widened it out regardless for the reasons
So regardless of other posts saying it is a general question, what this really boils down to is a whinge about the fact that you prefer younger women and feel that they should relax their preferences and restrictions to accommodate yours?
Does it? Where have I said that? For some reason you seem to be wanting to make it a personal question, it's not. It's a generic one that also included my own experiences of it. I've not 'whinged' at all and I don't think anyone should do anything they don't want to. "
Dont worry there are always people there to tell you the reason behind your posts... its like they are mind readers or summat |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Hi all
Fairly new to this site, though a more active member elsewhere, and one thing that both confuses and frustrates me in equal measure is why a lot of people seem to have such strict, rigid age restrictions on their profile.
Now I get that of course we all have a limit as to what age we're generally attracted to and would like to meet but here's my point. Take someone that's restricted their age range to say 28-35. Are you really telling me that if a very attractive, like minded person came along but they were say 36 that would suddenly be a deal breaker?! Just seems crazy to me! Why restrict yourself from meeting some potentially great people just for that.
Age is ultimately just a number after all. I prefer to judge the individual myself. Age isn't a indicator of attractiveness. There'll be a many a 40 year old woman/man who's a hell of a lot more attractive than a 20 year old woman/man!
Anyway, I may be alone on this but just wanted to throw it out there!
Happy new year all! x "
Age is never ever just a number. I hate that phrase. Age for many can represent so many qualities which people may prefer like experience, maturity, wisdom, youthful vigour, patience, understanding, etc. The site gives people the option to block those via filters who you feel would either not suit you or that you may not suit.
I have been on sites where this was not a facility and even though I put my age preferences on my profile these were ignored totalky and constantly. My inbox was overwhelmed by boys of 18-21. Now many people would love that but it was clear I did not but that didn't deter them. The majority would try to convince me that 'age is just a number '.
It put me off so much I left the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a strict age limit on my profile. I'm 49 and my age range is 34 - 44. One reason is that I seem to get on better with men younger than me and the other is my ex was 13 years older!
My lower age range used to be a fair bit younger but due to previous experiences I decided to raise it this time round.
Having said that, if there was someone that I really felt I wanted to get to know that was older than my upper age limit then I'm pretty sure I'd make an effort to contact him. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
We have set an age range of 25-45 as you have to draw a line somewhere. Is it set in stone,no it's just a rough guide.
I will be 36 this year so we will then be outside some people's age preferences. That's life! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As for my own age range yes I do have one on my profile but to be fair it's 18-48. It's purposely a wide age range so as not to restrict most people.
"
Your age range is 18-99.....you're more open minded than you thought |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"
As for my own age range yes I do have one on my profile but to be fair it's 18-48. It's purposely a wide age range so as not to restrict most people.
Your age range is 18-99.....you're more open minded than you thought "
He changed it part way through this thread after some discussion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha to be fair I guess I've asked for most of these replies so far!!
I was just putting it out there generically really but yes of course I have seen some people that seem like people I'd get on really well with then notice their age limit is say 35... when you're just a year older than that it can seem frustrating that you then can't then even contact them to see how you'd get on, what you have in common etc!
As for my own age range yes I do have one on my profile but to be fair it's 18-48. It's purposely a wide age range so as not to restrict most people.
I don't know, I guess because I generally prefer to judge someone on their personality and looks first and foremost their age becomes secondary in that regard. "
i dont want to meet guys under 25 cos in general most are too inexperienced for me,now im not saying all youn ger guys are inexperienced! |
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yes i think you've got a point crystal. its only human nature to feel a bit...well...resentful if we're the ones excluded. for example, im convinced that most people think someone who is 60+ cant POSSIBLY have a decent lookin body and working parts in order, still!Well we DO NOT fall apart immediately honies, its biology, it take years! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I don't really care if a 60+ year old has a good body though. That's the age of my parents and it's a turn-off for me.
Of course a year might not make a difference and my age range is a guideline in that respect. However, I have to draw the line somewhere.
When I get to the point that I am more likely to not find someone of a particular age attractive than the reverse, there's my limit. I can make exceptions, of course. I don't want loads of 50 and 60 somethings messaging me though when the vast majority of the time I'll be saying no thanks.
I have enough messages to deal with now without encouraging messages from people I am unlikely to be interested in meeting. |
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By *coobyDJ OP Man
over a year ago
watford |
Some really good replies to this (and some not so good!) so glad I put it out there.
One thing that as it's gone on does make good sense to me is that females and couples in particular receive a hell of a lot of messages on here. Putting an age restriction on their profile of course will narrow down and restrict the sheer amount of messages that they'd receive. Plus you still have the ability to contact whoever you wish regardless of age.
I think some people widened my argument out too much. I wasn't suggesting why isn't a 30 year old open to meeting a 60 year old. I get that. Was more asking why someone that would happily meet say a 42 year old would then find a 43 year old such a deal breaker! But then the line has to be drawn somewhere I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe slightly off the subject initially mentioned, but what about couples like ourselves with age gap relationships?
I tick some boxes age wise for people looking for people under 45, but hubby has now gone into the 50+ category so we have gone off many people's selection process.
Guess it a similar thing for us, as we do have an age limit on our profile (differs for who we meet) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We also have an age limit on our profile for a number of reasons, however this seems to go out of the window when we are in clubs and get to know someone first hand and like them. Its a completely different dynamic than chatting on the web. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe slightly off the subject initially mentioned, but what about couples like ourselves with age gap relationships?
I tick some boxes age wise for people looking for people under 45, but hubby has now gone into the 50+ category so we have gone off many people's selection process.
Guess it a similar thing for us, as we do have an age limit on our profile (differs for who we meet)"
We have a 13 year age gap and tend to look for people that are similar or fall im between our ages.
We regularly get approached on here by couples where I am way outside the age preference and often it is couples who's profiles are focussed on meeting a female and you just know all they are interested in is crystal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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preferences are fine, but when they narrow some down, such as the 1year difference in the age category then they can only expect a smaller amount of suitable meets.My pet hate is seeing someone have on their status "this site is terrible, timewasters,fantasists"- look at their preference and their age range is 35-37(only), duhhhh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have set an age range of 25-45 as you have to draw a line somewhere. Is it set in stone,no it's just a rough guide.
I will be 36 this year so we will then be outside some people's age preferences. That's life!"
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By *coobyDJ OP Man
over a year ago
watford |
"Fairly new? Joined over a year ago? Cannot accommodate? (ok last question not relevant but who cares? Hehe)."
Fairly new in terms of actually using the site, joined a year ago but was mainly on a site elsewhere, cannot accommodate as live with my cousin who doesn't know that I'm into this lifestyle and wish to keep it that way... last question not relevant? I'd say none of them were with regard to the topic I've posted...!
Some strange people on here... |
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