FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Obliged to leave positive veris?
Obliged to leave positive veris?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others? |
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"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others? "
It paints an untrue picture and for that reason we tend to ignore verifications other than to establish that a person or people are who they say they are.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it.
Sex meets are about expectations, and seldom live up to the thought of them,
Expect nothing and you will get everything  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others?
It paints an untrue picture and for that reason we tend to ignore verifications other than to establish that a person or people are who they say they are. "
 |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others?
It paints an untrue picture and for that reason we tend to ignore verifications other than to establish that a person or people are who they say they are. "
I personally dont go in to detail on veris as what happens is personal between me and the other party. I will say whether i met them socially or play and if they were what they said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others?
It paints an untrue picture and for that reason we tend to ignore verifications other than to establish that a person or people are who they say they are. "
+1 , all a geri really does is prove the couple are a couple or the single is a single apart from that its what they DONT say that can be most informative :D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've got some really bad ones so choose not to display any. I think they're trying to put other people and keep me all to themselves. "
Not surprised 
I rather leave nothing than spin a load of BS. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it.
Sex meets are about expectations, and seldom live up to the thought of them,
Expect nothing and you will get everything "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others? "
In my opinion and ONLY my opinion, I think leaving a glowing veri for someone when the meet wasn't all that then it's as good as leaving a fake veri.
If the meet wasn't good then either leave no veri or a basic veri at most. My opinion only mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If rather say nothing at all, if he was a really nice guy but the sex wasn't, maybe just mention how nice he was. I think is terrible to paint an untrue picture of someone, especially when people reads veris sometimes to help make a decision on whether to be with them or not. |
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Really a veri only needs to be that the person was who they said they were, looked like their pics, turned up as arranged.
The gory details and any other info isn't necessary (although I like the fun added stuff not the gory details) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it.
Sex meets are about expectations, and seldom live up to the thought of them,
Expect nothing and you will get everything
This "
Yes this!! Our new motto has been
"No expectations!" That way we can't bed disappointed anymore! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Up to those, some avoid negativeness, some
talk lies for others to perceive, personally, I'm about
self improvement... we all can't be perfect, so why
give a false account of it?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really a veri only needs to be that the person was who they said they were, looked like their pics, turned up as arranged.
The gory details and any other info isn't necessary (although I like the fun added stuff not the gory details) "
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others? "
I did it once, even though he had sent me a rather bland veri. After a couple of days' thought, however, I realised that it would be misleading to other potential meets. So I blocked him as I couldn't sustain the deception. I have never done it since and will never do it again. I might write how they turned up for the meet as arranged but that is all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All my meets have been good ..ok some better than others but none bad that I couldn't leave a trueful honest verification ...If I did have a meet which wasn't good I wouldn't lie I just wouldn't leave one! ...and I hope all my veris have been trueful ..well I know they are because I'm still friends with all of them xxlol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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for me verifications are useful in that i use them a guide ro see of genuine then use common sense.
They do not make me decide to meet just based on them.
The only meet i had where it was bad i explained no point me leaving a veri as it would be negative and who would display a bad one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others? "
We always leave a veri even if we don't like them and leave within 5 minutes, we also make it quite clear at the time we didn't like them , but will leave a veri saying they had a social etc etc
Surely the verification system is to prove they actually turn up and not a rating system of their sexual performance if it was a rating of their performance surely a rating system similar to ebay would be in order
I am sorry but if you turn up for a social you should be verified as such.
After all it's not our fault or the meets fault we didn't fancy them or they thought we were nuts .but if they made the effort to turn up then they should get the verification for their effort, after all we may find them ugly munters who have no personality but that doesn't mean their next meet will feel the same
As to reading veris we don't do that , preferring Paula to use her creepy weirdo radar on single guys, and chatting on the phone. And most importantly meeting |
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Nooooo,
If it's good, socialble, friendly etc I'll leave a veri.
If it's not so good I'll deny it ever happened and not leave a veri 
Yes I'm joking about denial before those without a sense of humour jump in
I dont feel veri's are a compulsion though & would never leave a dishonest one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if i didnt want to meet them again I wouldn't leave a very or they would want a repeat if I said it was good when it wasnt"
Now that's nonsensical. You met them, so you should acknowledge that. It's a totally separate issue if you don't want a follow-up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally wouldn't leave a dishonest one, hence why some I've left are short and sweet, but verifications are very subjective anyway. Every second woman gives the best blow job in the country and every man can go like a jack hammer and make a girl squirt like never before. Take them for what they are, which should be, this person looks like their pics and does meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if i didnt want to meet them again I wouldn't leave a very or they would want a repeat if I said it was good when it wasnt
Now that's nonsensical. You met them, so you should acknowledge that. It's a totally separate issue if you don't want a follow-up."
I totally agree , they turn up they should get verified, if they turn up they are not timewasters, if everyone verified all meets even ones that were disasters we would soon know who the idiots are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would ony ever tell the truth in a veri but I never go into graphic detail as that's between me and my meet. I really can't understand why anyone would give a glowing veri if the meet wasnt up to much? What's the point of that?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others? "
Iv heard this too, totally against fake verifications!
I tend not to take any notice of them and come to my own conclusion.
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
I try to make verfis personal to the person.
I once didn't leave a verfi and asked him not too. I had no idea what I could write and didn't want to actually write one for him.
For me its more about what I don't say thst says more x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"rather this than page after page of social meet or web cam veri. These just prove that people like to talk about it but little else."
Yes all talk and no action.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"for me verifications are useful in that i use them a guide ro see of genuine then use common sense.
They do not make me decide to meet just based on them.
The only meet i had where it was bad i explained no point me leaving a veri as it would be negative and who would display a bad one."
Everyone treats them differently. They can be a good indication of genuineness, especially if they're consistent. |
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"rather this than page after page of social meet or web cam veri. These just prove that people like to talk about it but little else.
Yes all talk and no action. "
Someone told me she left a verification saying the guy was very talented. The sex was less than average but his talent lay in playing the guitar. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"for me verifications are useful in that i use them a guide ro see of genuine then use common sense.
They do not make me decide to meet just based on them.
The only meet i had where it was bad i explained no point me leaving a veri as it would be negative and who would display a bad one.
Everyone treats them differently. They can be a good indication of genuineness, especially if they're consistent. "
very true.
we'd always leave a veri if we'd met regardless how how good the meet was.
our veris are plain, nothing suggesting what went on so basically saying he other person/s are real, nothing more nothing less. if we like them then maybe we put a bit more..
everyone uses veris for differing reasons, seen blow by blow account on what went on.. dont see that necessary but each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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for us a very is to verify that they are who they are and that they are genuine players , if your meet wasn't as you expected then that's just unfortunate, to bad mouth another person just because you did not get on with them is wrong others may like them ,
just leave a basic veri then move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At the end of a session I get my laptop out of my bag and insist a nice verification is written before I unlock the door and allow them to leave"
Haha what the! Sounds like hurrassement lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No point in leaving a bad veri, it wont get displayed.
If the sex was bad, chalk it down to experience and move on.
Any other issues, report to fab/police etc
Will admit if they do not take the hint - I leave a veri such as "yep had sex" with nothing else  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only not left one once. And that was because the meet I had though fine was with a guy who might not want to admit to having met me. For various reasons. (he wasn't married or anything).
If I was unhappy I'd just give a bland one, or go home and block em. That's if we even had sex!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the person is lovely Ill say it how it is ... I won't leave a glowing for one for someone who wasn't - Ill just not leave anything "
Reminds me of someone i knew who was asked to give a lot of references.
Didnt want to give terrible feedback to people hed see ever week. But would leave stuff out.
Made it clear to people reading that it wasnt a glowing reference but made his life easier too |
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Does anyone take any real notice of them anyway I know I don't other than the person does genuinely meet. I look at mine and honestly I know I ain't sexy nor gorgeous but both are used in veris but for me it's not what they write in the veri it's do they come back for more meets and mostly they do. That means more than a glowing veri in my book!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone take any real notice of them anyway I know I don't other than the person does genuinely meet. I look at mine and honestly I know I ain't sexy nor gorgeous but both are used in veris but for me it's not what they write in the veri it's do they come back for more meets and mostly they do. That means more than a glowing veri in my book!!"
Take your point.
See some people also put on there profiles that they wont meet people who have loads and loads of verifications on their page |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always feel obliged to write 'can't wait until next time' even if we have no intention of meeting again. I think sometimes you can have a good time with someone but there's just nothing mind blowing or maybe somethin small bothered you and it makes you not want to have that experience with them again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What an interesting selection of replies. So basically the veri system is made up of lies.
People not leaving veri's, not displaying some/ all, and some people lying about how good/ bad it was!
Hence why I think the verification system is pointless......
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"I always give honest feedback, its up to others i they want to publish it. I also always post feedback I get (good or bad)."
21 meets, 19 people, 10 displayed.. Am I missing how the verifications show up or have you not published feedback?  |
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I usually write veris based on the coffee meet. So if they turned up, look like their pics and didn't make me feel uncomfortable they will get a veri whether or not I intend to meet them again.
But anyone who presses me for a veri is likely to do themselves out of one! A veri is a gift and should be given freely with no expectation of return and with no bitterness if they choose not to display it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What an interesting selection of replies. So basically the veri system is made up of lies.
People not leaving veri's, not displaying some/ all, and some people lying about how good/ bad it was!
Hence why I think the verification system is pointless......"
There's that, but several veris at times did entice me to contact them, as I would have like to sample those delights myself, and was messed about by halfhearted promises etc, being ignored, despite good manners and caring nature etc being one of their lovely traits... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have quite a good screening process, so to date we have never had a bad first meet. We tend to select people on their personalities rather than just looks. |
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"Really a veri only needs to be that the person was who they said they were, looked like their pics, turned up as arranged.
The gory details and any other info isn't necessary (although I like the fun added stuff not the gory details) "
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"
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others? "
It is misleading, and some you can spot easily, but others you cannot, so I take them all with a pinch of salt when reading.
I try my damndest to be honest, accurate and not mislead, whilst at the same time being kind and flattering to the person concerned, focussing on their good points, but without ever being graphic. If I had a bad meet or found someone to be dishonest or something I would not leave a veri at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"rather this than page after page of social meet or web cam veri. These just prove that people like to talk about it but little else.
Yes all talk and no action. "
Really you just need one veri, saying this person looks like their photo and doesn't smell of cheese/sardine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if it was me I would just go home and block the person and report them if they had done something that was needful of that.
Otherwise just leave it and move on. Dust myself down and laugh it off, cry it off, and put it all down to experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What an interesting selection of replies. So basically the veri system is made up of lies.
People not leaving veri's, not displaying some/ all, and some people lying about how good/ bad it was!
Hence why I think the verification system is pointless......
There's that, but several veris at times did entice me to contact them, as I would have like to sample those delights myself, and was messed about by halfhearted promises etc, being ignored, despite good manners and caring nature etc being one of their lovely traits..."
Some people have admitted on this thread that they lie when leaving veri's... saying it was great when it wasn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"rather this than page after page of social meet or web cam veri. These just prove that people like to talk about it but little else.
Yes all talk and no action.
Really you just need one veri, saying this person looks like their photo and doesn't smell of cheese/sardine."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never feel ablidged to write good veri's , I was talking to a woman at a party she said she enjoys my veri's she can tell who I thought was amazing to who I thought was good,I simply don't leave one if not impressed and thankfully only happened twice |
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By *irtyDee33Woman
over a year ago
South Yorkshire |
"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others? "
Oooooooh that bum looks so tasty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"rather this than page after page of social meet or web cam veri. These just prove that people like to talk about it but little else.
Yes all talk and no action.
Someone told me she left a verification saying the guy was very talented. The sex was less than average but his talent lay in playing the guitar. "
ha ha sounds familiar |
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We dont leave verifications if it was a bad experience and we also dont bother asking for one in return either, just chalk it down to a bad experience and move on.
I honestly really dont see why you would leave a positive verification about a person when you had a bad experience with them in the first place, seems a bit silly  . Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met someone once who had clearly sent me fake pics (I think they were his son as there was a faint resemblance). He used the classic line "I'm here now anyway so can I at least get a blow job"... er.... no!
Then he mithered me after for a veri. So left him one saying he turned up but is about 20 years older and 4 stone heavier than his pics. Apparently that makes me a bitch! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only write veri's that are truthful and honest, I would not leave a veri at all if I hadn't enjoyed the experience. I wouldn't wish to receive a veri that wasn't genuinely meant either. |
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"I just had a chat with someone in which she said her meet wasn't that great for various reasons yet had left him a glowing veri because she felt like she should as he had too and it's not the first time I've heard something like this.
What are your feelings on this?
Is it polite? Or does it paint an untrue picture of people on here potentially misleading others? "
That's why I don't take any notice of verifications when deciding to meet. My own eyes, common sense and gut instincts will always trump the post coital musings of strangers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"especially when people reads veris sometimes to help make a decision on whether to be with them or not.
...more fool them!"
True that can't be too big of a part. I've sometimes considered who they've met. But not what was said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having veris simply shows you DO meet-unless all cam veris. If you leave a bad one for a bad meet the person simply won't display it. But it will show in summary so simply don't leave one.
It may be seen by the person as rude but hey - you weren't planning on meeting again anyway and it may be less rude than the truth.
Always read between the lines. I think repeat or multiple veris from someone who themselves is well verified is a better (but not perfect) way to judge. If someone is meeting more than once then they must be doing something right.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met someone once who had clearly sent me fake pics (I think they were his son as there was a faint resemblance). He used the classic line "I'm here now anyway so can I at least get a blow job"... er.... no!
Then he mithered me after for a veri. So left him one saying he turned up but is about 20 years older and 4 stone heavier than his pics. Apparently that makes me a bitch! "
makes you a star in my eyes. Site can do without tossers like him....xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At the end of a session I get my laptop out of my bag and insist a nice verification is written before I unlock the door and allow them to leave"
This must be in jest as above you say you have some really bad ones. Blooming hope it's said in jest any way.
I don't do veris in fact the last one I wrote was 4 words long and a joke one. I do have some from some fantastic people but I don't feel obliged to write any back as they all know how I feel about them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always give honest feedback, its up to others i they want to publish it. I also always post feedback I get (good or bad).
21 meets, 19 people, 10 displayed.. Am I missing how the verifications show up or have you not published feedback? "
People leave the site. The very shows up still in summary but is automatically removed from display by admin. My own profile is similar. More in summary than those displayed. I haven't chosen not to display veris. Some are better than others but I feel I should display all so others get the whole picture - warts and all (I don't have warts btw! !) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always give honest feedback, its up to others i they want to publish it. I also always post feedback I get (good or bad).
21 meets, 19 people, 10 displayed.. Am I missing how the verifications show up or have you not published feedback? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't collect veris and rarely give them - some people who meet in clubs aren't even on this site!!!
I tend to decline offers of veris because I'm a private person and if someone wants to shag me they should find out what I'm like first - just my opinion lol
Suppose if you believe in veris then it's upto you |
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I do believe in verifs ... just like I believe in fairies ... and because of that I would never leave one which is not based upon fact ... mine tend to be very flowery and over the top, but not in a graphic kind of way ... however if I left one saying ... turned up on time, genuine guy, nice trouses, give him a chance girls ... I think you would get the jist !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we accept veris, but depending on the content we hide some, as feel it's too public/personal.
We happily reciprocate verifications but only put that the person/s are nice, friendly and are as they pics make out.
We dont kiss and tell all in a veri.
A crap meet is 2 way - still doesn't detract from them being a nice person.
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