FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > coming out
coming out
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why not? It shouldn't be something we're embarrassed about..... And yet it seems most of us are. "
We're not, we just choose not to impose aspects if our lives on others to whom it may be a painful truth...we don't share details of our non swinging sex on them either... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Would never tell parents. Like to be discreet about it all. Discretion is important to us. You've told them, now how many people will they tell. But as always each to their own. "
Why on earth does anyone feel the need to share private details of their sex lives?
 
For some people, sex is a private thing. To force them to hear about someone else's sex life is, to me, disrespectful and rude. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We came out to family as swingers yesterday. Mixed reaction to say the least. Anyone else experienced this?"
why do this xmas day? Why tell them at all? Strange |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Why not? It shouldn't be something we're embarrassed about..... And yet it seems most of us are. "
We aren't embarrassed,we just don't discuss any aspect of our sex lives with anyone we don't want to. It isn't like coming out as gay or lesbian and calling it coming out is making a bit more out of it than is necessary I think. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
can understand you feel the need to tell people, but unless you tell everyone about your sexlife in general, cant see why you would want to share this with your family.
we joke around with people about me not being as quiet as people think i am, but dont think we would tell anyone anytime soon |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We came out to family as swingers yesterday. Mixed reaction to say the least. Anyone else experienced this?"
What ever you felt you needed to do I guess but why on xmas day of all days? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness."
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness."
That's a bit harsh and uncalled for and uncalled for or is it a scream for attention in its own right? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mixed reaction and you're surprised by that fact ? It's up to all of us what we do in out private life's but you may well have caused a lot of unnecessary grief for yourself's.
Not having a go by any means but I personally find people with your mindset,bizarre to put it mildly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been swinging on and off for about a decade! Most of my friends know as do my sister and her husband. My parents are very religious and would not understand so there is no point in telling them.
I totally understand why you felt you wanted to tell your family. After all their love should be unconditional. Its not easy and it takes courage. Perhaps if more people had the balls to do this there would be far less stigma attached to it.
Mind you if people who swing are judgmental about it then what hope do we hold out for the rest of society!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Where in op does it say they were surprised ? Quick to judge? Or if I was to judge id say people are quick to jump on the bandwaggon.......... "
part way down where it says HIS family were ok, hers think she is a slut.
hth |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Where in op does it say they were surprised ? Quick to judge? Or if I was to judge id say people are quick to jump on the bandwaggon..........
part way down where it says HIS family were ok, hers think she is a slut.
hth"
It says his family were surprisingly unjudgemental. Hers think she is a slag etc but doesnt say they were surprised by this. They may have expected this I font know. Too many forum threads these days make assumptions to suit posters views. Imho only ..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We came out to family as swingers yesterday. Mixed reaction to say the least. Anyone else experienced this?"
My family know I have alternative views and that I swing... But that's as far as the details go.. they just know I don't do monogamy..
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Totally unnecessary to tell anyone, unless you enjoy drama and pissing people off, especially during a Christian festival.
At best attention seeking."
What has religion got to do with it? Religion has less to do with Christmas each and every year! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I admire the balls that took but what purpose does that serve??
You may have lost family for the short if not long term. If anyone knew about my shenanigans, fine but I will never broadcast the fact.
Sadly the people you told are going to remember the news that stunned them.every xmas from now forward.
Not very subtle is the best spin I can put on it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness.
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments. "
Personally I can accept that some people can see a need for their family's to know. But telling them on Christmas Day? Seriously, what's that about other than attention seeking? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Totally unnecessary to tell anyone, unless you enjoy drama and pissing people off, especially during a Christian festival.
At best attention seeking.
What has religion got to do with it? Religion has less to do with Christmas each and every year!"
Religion has everything to do with "Christ" mas. The way people celebrate the 25th December has little to do with religion in a lot of cases though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness.
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments.
Personally I can accept that some people can see a need for their family's to know. But telling them on Christmas Day? Seriously, what's that about other than attention seeking? "
arguably, the story of christ could come from a dabble at a party, as if joseph didnt do anything with mary, there is every chance someone caught her coming out of the toilet and took her to a back bedroom. lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness.
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments.
Personally I can accept that some people can see a need for their family's to know. But telling them on Christmas Day? Seriously, what's that about other than attention seeking?
arguably, the story of christ could come from a dabble at a party, as if joseph didnt do anything with mary, there is every chance someone caught her coming out of the toilet and took her to a back bedroom. lol"
No need for that ! I am a Christian and find the way feel its ok to poke fun at our beliefs especially in a Christian country just wrong. You may not believe but do not mock.
People aren't nearly as quick to mock other religions but Christianity seems to be ok |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness.
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments.
Personally I can accept that some people can see a need for their family's to know. But telling them on Christmas Day? Seriously, what's that about other than attention seeking?
arguably, the story of christ could come from a dabble at a party, as if joseph didnt do anything with mary, there is every chance someone caught her coming out of the toilet and took her to a back bedroom. lol
No need for that ! I am a Christian and find the way feel its ok to poke fun at our beliefs especially in a Christian country just wrong. You may not believe but do not mock.
People aren't nearly as quick to mock other religions but Christianity seems to be ok"
get over yourself. You believe in a big sky fairy who created 2 people, one from the rib of the other, who made us all sinners because the woman took the advice of a talking snake, who later on decided to pay us a visit down here, whose mother got pregnant by magic, lived and then died, became a zombie then magically ascended to an imaginary place leaving us all behind to wallow in sin?
You're fair game when it comes to piss-taking, your beliefs are not protected by default.
Oh and look up the story of Onan. Your god killed him because he wouldn't shag his brother's missus while he was away. It's where the word 'onanist' (wanker) comes from.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness.
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments.
Personally I can accept that some people can see a need for their family's to know. But telling them on Christmas Day? Seriously, what's that about other than attention seeking?
arguably, the story of christ could come from a dabble at a party, as if joseph didnt do anything with mary, there is every chance someone caught her coming out of the toilet and took her to a back bedroom. lol
No need for that ! I am a Christian and find the way feel its ok to poke fun at our beliefs especially in a Christian country just wrong. You may not believe but do not mock.
People aren't nearly as quick to mock other religions but Christianity seems to be okget over yourself. You believe in a big sky fairy who created 2 people, one from the rib of the other, who made us all sinners because the woman took the advice of a talking snake, who later on decided to pay us a visit down here, whose mother got pregnant by magic, lived and then died, became a zombie then magically ascended to an imaginary place leaving us all behind to wallow in sin?
You're fair game when it comes to piss-taking, your beliefs are not protected by default.
Oh and look up the story of Onan. Your god killed him because he wouldn't shag his brother's missus while he was away. It's where the word 'onanist' (wanker) comes from.
"
Merry christmas to you !!!!!!! Holy fuck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness.
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments.
Personally I can accept that some people can see a need for their family's to know. But telling them on Christmas Day? Seriously, what's that about other than attention seeking?
arguably, the story of christ could come from a dabble at a party, as if joseph didnt do anything with mary, there is every chance someone caught her coming out of the toilet and took her to a back bedroom. lol
No need for that ! I am a Christian and find the way feel its ok to poke fun at our beliefs especially in a Christian country just wrong. You may not believe but do not mock.
People aren't nearly as quick to mock other religions but Christianity seems to be ok"
Am not a Christian but I absolutely agree. That was very offending to those who have faith |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness.
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments.
Personally I can accept that some people can see a need for their family's to know. But telling them on Christmas Day? Seriously, what's that about other than attention seeking?
arguably, the story of christ could come from a dabble at a party, as if joseph didnt do anything with mary, there is every chance someone caught her coming out of the toilet and took her to a back bedroom. lol
No need for that ! I am a Christian and find the way feel its ok to poke fun at our beliefs especially in a Christian country just wrong. You may not believe but do not mock.
People aren't nearly as quick to mock other religions but Christianity seems to be okget over yourself. You believe in a big sky fairy who created 2 people, one from the rib of the other, who made us all sinners because the woman took the advice of a talking snake, who later on decided to pay us a visit down here, whose mother got pregnant by magic, lived and then died, became a zombie then magically ascended to an imaginary place leaving us all behind to wallow in sin?
You're fair game when it comes to piss-taking, your beliefs are not protected by default.
Oh and look up the story of Onan. Your god killed him because he wouldn't shag his brother's missus while he was away. It's where the word 'onanist' (wanker) comes from.
"
... and why do u feel the need to moque others faiths. What makes u think that because u have a reference to prove your point of view will get u to impose them to others. ... in a very dusrespectfull way! if u have no beleifs at least have some civilised manners
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think well done you!
We live in the 21st century, who gives a crap what others think.
You may even inspire them to look into the world a bit more and realise its not so sordid. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness.
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments.
Personally I can accept that some people can see a need for their family's to know. But telling them on Christmas Day? Seriously, what's that about other than attention seeking?
arguably, the story of christ could come from a dabble at a party, as if joseph didnt do anything with mary, there is every chance someone caught her coming out of the toilet and took her to a back bedroom. lol
No need for that ! I am a Christian and find the way feel its ok to poke fun at our beliefs especially in a Christian country just wrong. You may not believe but do not mock.
People aren't nearly as quick to mock other religions but Christianity seems to be okget over yourself. You believe in a big sky fairy who created 2 people, one from the rib of the other, who made us all sinners because the woman took the advice of a talking snake, who later on decided to pay us a visit down here, whose mother got pregnant by magic, lived and then died, became a zombie then magically ascended to an imaginary place leaving us all behind to wallow in sin?
You're fair game when it comes to piss-taking, your beliefs are not protected by default.
Oh and look up the story of Onan. Your god killed him because he wouldn't shag his brother's missus while he was away. It's where the word 'onanist' (wanker) comes from.
"
Regardless of content of any religious belief nothing is "fair game" for piss-taking. You're just showing yourself up to be an ill-educated bully.
The psychologist Oliver James likens neo-atheists to older children telling their younger siblings that there's no Santa.
And on the subject of Onan (wanker), I guess there's a good reason you know so much about him. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You're just showing yourself up to be an ill-educated bully.
"
Much like thr church has been for centuries. Well done, you have summed up religion very eloquently! It has bullied peoples' money, lifestyle, sexuality, choices and freedoms for countless years.
I take you point about Oliver James - he is right in so far as the motives behind such behaviour. But what if the 5 year old grew up forcing people to believe in santa and persecuting those who don't?? Thst's what religions do. Does oliver james defend the older brother then, for trying to speak the truth and quell misunderstandings?
Your 'faith' is not an absolute, it is not sacred to me. I am not obliged to respect it, in the same way your god decrees you should not respect other 'false idols'. Do you know the story of the passover? How much respect was shown in this act of genocide? And you respect that? Sheesh..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Each to there own, my family would not understand coming from an Irish catholic descent, but more importantly to me I wouldn't want to hurt my children directly or indirectly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You're just showing yourself up to be an ill-educated bully.
Much like thr church has been for centuries. Well done, you have summed up religion very eloquently! It has bullied peoples' money, lifestyle, sexuality, choices and freedoms for countless years.
I take you point about Oliver James - he is right in so far as the motives behind such behaviour. But what if the 5 year old grew up forcing people to believe in santa and persecuting those who don't?? Thst's what religions do. Does oliver james defend the older brother then, for trying to speak the truth and quell misunderstandings?
Your 'faith' is not an absolute, it is not sacred to me. I am not obliged to respect it, in the same way your god decrees you should not respect other 'false idols'. Do you know the story of the passover? How much respect was shown in this act of genocide? And you respect that? Sheesh....."
Hey hole we live in a country of free speech and all that goes with it.
i'm sure your feelings towards religion are very sound in your own mind, but at the same time free speech doesn't mean being offensive to people.
If you feel so strongly about how religion clearly affects everything, there is a great spot in hyde park where you can prophecise to your hearts content. Lets just keep it away from fab
I mean the OP just told people they were swingers.. no big deal! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We came out to family as swingers yesterday. Mixed reaction to say the least. Anyone else experienced this?"
I actually take the "private" in private life literally and feel absolutely no desire to share with my nearest and dearest! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Why not? It shouldn't be something we're embarrassed about..... And yet it seems most of us are.
We're not, we just choose not to impose aspects if our lives on others to whom it may be a painful truth...we don't share details of our non swinging sex on them either..."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Each to their own but everything about this screams of attention seeking and selfishness.
Why does it? Many people feel the need to explain to people for various reasons from the need for babysitters to family living close and seeing lots of visitors. The timing may be strange but apart from being bitchy I can't see a reason for your comments.
Personally I can accept that some people can see a need for their family's to know. But telling them on Christmas Day? Seriously, what's that about other than attention seeking?
arguably, the story of christ could come from a dabble at a party, as if joseph didnt do anything with mary, there is every chance someone caught her coming out of the toilet and took her to a back bedroom. lol
No need for that ! I am a Christian and find the way feel its ok to poke fun at our beliefs especially in a Christian country just wrong. You may not believe but do not mock.
People aren't nearly as quick to mock other religions but Christianity seems to be okget over yourself. You believe in a big sky fairy who created 2 people, one from the rib of the other, who made us all sinners because the woman took the advice of a talking snake, who later on decided to pay us a visit down here, whose mother got pregnant by magic, lived and then died, became a zombie then magically ascended to an imaginary place leaving us all behind to wallow in sin?
You're fair game when it comes to piss-taking, your beliefs are not protected by default.
Oh and look up the story of Onan. Your god killed him because he wouldn't shag his brother's missus while he was away. It's where the word 'onanist' (wanker) comes from.
Regardless of content of any religious belief nothing is "fair game" for piss-taking. You're just showing yourself up to be an ill-educated bully.
The psychologist Oliver James likens neo-atheists to older children telling their younger siblings that there's no Santa.
And on the subject of Onan (wanker), I guess there's a good reason you know so much about him. "
What could I possibly add but  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We came out to family as swingers yesterday. Mixed reaction to say the least. Anyone else experienced this?
I actually take the "private" in private life literally and feel absolutely no desire to share with my nearest and dearest! "
Agree with all of Miss_tress's likes!
Our lifestyle choice is ours, and there's no need for others to know, doesn't mean we are ashamed or embarrassed. We each have one friend who know some elements. I don't walk out of the bathroom and discuss the details of what i just did - nor do i do so from the bedroom.
To the slaters of Christianity, I'm all for a healthy debate but belittling people and resorting to insults just makes yourself look pathetic.
Ruby x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
the thing that would concern me now is how others will act around you both.
will they be thinking you cant be trusted with their partners?
would they be looking down their noses if they rocked up to your place and you had completely innocent visitors?
the can you have opened contains many many worms i fear |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
I bet they weren't expecting that gift 
