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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We're completely different, in many ways and what we want. I've known this for a few months now. But only just how much different.
I'm talking about myself and me.
My "everyday" person and my "kinky" me.
In my everyday life, I'm not naturally dominant, I'm not as confident as my kinky me. I hate being center of attention. I am uncomfortable doing a presentation in front of friends or colleagues I've worked with for years. Yet I can have sex in front of a crowd of strangers.
My kinky side only comes out in the right environment. When in private or in a club. I can talk to strangers about our fantasies, experiences, things I've tried whether I've liked it or not. I'm not ashamed of any fetishes I have and can comfortably just be myself. Or so it feels. Yet I have never been able to approach a woman in a public bar.
I've met women I've chatted to online for normal dates which haven't been too bad (some have been terrible!) as dates go. If I've arranged to meet someone for a kinky initial social meet, it's usually somewhere public. If they haven't been to a club before it's highly unlikely they would agree to a first meet there, same goes for somewhere more private. People meet in public for safety.
So here I am, having a Kinky meet in public, with someone who, potentially, I could be playing with sometime. I want them to meet my kinky me. My more dominant me. My more confident me. But I'm not in the right environment to let that side of me free. So I'm just everyday me. And I find it hard to interact the way I want to. I can't touch and test the waters, it's just not right in a public environment.
How do I overcome this obstacle? I suppose it's yet another challenge in my exploration journey! |
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Wow, well that's very personal so I wont comment on it; however, I did want to say.
One of the most memorable experiences I've had within the kink lifestyle, was a meeting for coffee with a Master.
Now it was public and friendly.
He spoke to me, as I would hope. Not as 'an insta dom/M/t/Owner but as a person.
There was a point during our chat, where my mind wondered a little (ok boobs  really good boobs... Ok I digress) Any hows, my attention had wavered and he very subtly and very clearly poked me in the knee cap and gave me a 'look'.
No one else saw this as it was under the table, it wasn't inappropriate touching nor over dominating but it worked.
Sometimes the little things stand out more, and it's not always about being the loudest; it's a mind set, and once you're comfortable with that mindset you can use it how you see fits 
Boobs hmmmmm sorry, hope that made sense but cracking boobs  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hmmmm....
I taking a guess that someone else's boobs distracted you?
I like that idea of a little poke, a little look, just to give that dominance... Not overly dominating or loud is great as that's me, I'm not loud, and never will be. But I can give a look...
What I really wanted to do was to give this girl a little pull of her hair, I know she likes that. Plus it would have been good as she stood taller than me in her normal heeled boots. Would have been nice to gently pull her lower than me, but that would have looked a little wrong out in public. (PS I'm not a short arse... At 6ft and a bit! She just had VERY long legs..... Mmmmmmm legggssss.....!)
Thanks for the reply.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm back  .
We all have different facets to our personality that different environments and or circumstances brings out: you may be largely extrovert but find occasions where the introverted you emerges. You sound like the opposite to this example.
We are all ever evolving creatures. If you like the extrovert you, you will probably find this part of you will extend to other areas in your life over time. Go with the flow and in the meantime enjoy this small facet for what it is. If you worry about things this will impede that growing confidence.
Like I said I can relate. I am far more naughty at night but as I have evolved this naughtiness has really emerged in my personality and I'm loving it.
Also, as you become more aware, you will discover other aspects of your personality... enjoy your personal growth . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wise words cupcake.
I don't worry or dwell on anything but see it as a new challenge to overcome. I will have opportunities in future.
I have already noticed some of my new me creep into my everyday me. I am more confident than I used to be, and have gained a promotion in work through it.
I'm a naturally introvert person but have extrovert tendencies. And I'm starting to become a little more extrovert... In the right surroundings!
I love chats like this with complete strangers!
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