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friends boyfriend on here!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

take a pic of his page print it off post it to her,,hate cheats

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By *eerobCouple over a year ago

solihull

Its a risk hes been prepared to take. Nows hes been caught out him. We agree, he should not cheat, she would want to know. Deserves to know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you want her to know you are on here? If not I guess it may need thinking about.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe you should confront him about it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I appreciate she's your friend but I'm guessing you don't want people to know you're on here so I don't get how you think it would be alright for you to 'out' someone else.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating?

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By *litlicker77Man over a year ago

dirty old town

Block him and carry on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I appreciate she's your friend but I'm guessing you don't want people to know you're on here so I don't get how you think it would be alright for you to 'out' someone else."

It's a tricky dilemma and no right answer.

Does he suspect that you are on here?

If so, he is chasing you?

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By *entaur 9Man over a year ago

Warwickshire

take a pic of his page print it off post it to her,,hate cheats

Thats a bit tough on her and could but very distressing .

Why not send it to HIM instead ? Give him something to think about - he may value your friend more and quit or post a joint profile and be happy ever after together as a couple in fab heaven ? .

I think we have all come across someone we know but its often probably best not to do anything as you could risk losing your friend.These matters often go in the most uunexpected way!

I saw a film on film 4 last night. -The dilemma - A similar situation.

Good luck and as always love to you all. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is he aware that its actually you on here...if not I would message him and tell him you know who he is, who his gf is and tell him if he doesn't tell her you will...he won't know who you are so no come back and then block him and hope he dissappears off the site...id screen print his profile though to save for future use in case he does know its you. If he's here as a single guy, regardless of whether he is cheating or not, he's still advertising he is single when not if he doesn't mention his gf in his profile...hence he's deceiving someone!

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating? "

my thoughts too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

None of the o p business to be honest if you going to say owt drop him a nessage saying you know but you risk being outed too.

Keep out of it it will get messier if you get involved.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating?

my thoughts too"

Probably because its a male

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

id want to know personally if my boyfriend was here...id hope my friends would tell me...if they had done this a few months ago when my ex was patently cheating and trying get meets alone with couples we'd met together, it would have saved me a lot of unnecessary heartache trying to "win" him back when he left me for no apparent reason in Aug! The reason became apparent only last week grrrr

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating?

my thoughts too

Probably because its a male

Or it could be because they have actually read the original op. You know the bit where she says she doesn't know

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By *rsK69Woman over a year ago

Neath

"None of the o p business to be honest if you going to say owt drop him a nessage saying you know but you risk being outed too.

Keep out of it it will get messier if you get involved."

This

Keep out of it its not your place to interfere

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If in doubt say nowt is a very wise saying. You could open up a complete can of worms here so say nowt.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/13 12:42:01]

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By *organ and rob zombieCouple over a year ago

bradford

Karma will prevail

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"None of the o p business to be honest if you going to say owt drop him a nessage saying you know but you risk being outed too.

Keep out of it it will get messier if you get involved.

This

Keep out of it its not your place to interfere

End of day its their relationship lets for one minute say o p tells her friend or him he could turn it round and say o p tried it on with him via this. Very messy situation could develop.

When in doubt keep out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"None of the o p business to be honest if you going to say owt drop him a nessage saying you know but you risk being outed too.

Keep out of it it will get messier if you get involved.

This

Keep out of it its not your place to interfere

I agree.... It's best to block him and stay out of it.

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By *innamon!Woman over a year ago

no matter

Is he actually meeting or just has a profile to look at the photos (wank material) How do you know your friend isnt on here too?

just because you havent come across a profile you recognise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sorry but initial reaction is, its nothing to do with anyone else , he's an adult and knows the risks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We all here for sex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"None of the o p business to be honest if you going to say owt drop him a nessage saying you know but you risk being outed too.

Keep out of it it will get messier if you get involved.

This

Keep out of it its not your place to interfere

I agree.... It's best to block him and stay out of it. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We all here for sex"

no we're not

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating?

my thoughts too"

Mine too (I'd stay out of it, if you do tell her she'll have to deal with it and maybe she doesn't want to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating?

my thoughts too

Probably because its a male

Or it could be because they have actually read the original op. You know the bit where she says she doesn't know

Unless it states on his profile that he is playing away (which isn't what the OP states), I fail to see how it is anything other than assumption that the friend doesn't know he's on here.

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By *AURA6969TV/TS over a year ago

RUGBY

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

"
How do YOU know she doesn't know that maybe a turn on between them but either way you would need to out yourself as well do YOU want that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's his private business and none of yours OP so we don't think you should be judge, jury and executioner.

Block him and move on..

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By *itboyslim2Man over a year ago

stevenage

"It's his private business and none of yours OP so we don't think you should be judge, jury and executioner.

Block him and move on.."

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By *innamon!Woman over a year ago

no matter

"We all here for sex

no we're not"

No we not..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We all here for sex

no we're not

No we not..

Ditto

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By *ighland_RoseCouple over a year ago

Brigadoon

Friends look out for each other. They don't see something potentially harmful to their friend and think oh I'm not getting involved in case it backfires on me!

If I had a friend that did that they would be a friend no longer.

As for outing yourself there's no need. Take a screenshot of his profile and send it to her anonymously and she can take it from there. If in the case she knows and approves of him being on here then there's no harm done. If he turns out to be cheating then she has all she needs to know to make an informed decision about her future.

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By *tirling DarkCouple over a year ago

Stirling

How do you know that she "would want to know"? Do you know her? Spoke to her about it?

Stay well clear it is an adult site after all.

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By *tirling DarkCouple over a year ago

Stirling

"We all here for sex

no we're not"

So on a swingers site but not here for sex, that just isn't swinging!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We all here for sex

no we're not

So on a swingers site but not here for sex, that just isn't swinging! "

report me then for being a non-shagger

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By *iggamanMan over a year ago

London

"Friends look out for each other. They don't see something potentially harmful to their friend and think oh I'm not getting involved in case it backfires on me!

If I had a friend that did that they would be a friend no longer.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Friends look out for each other. They don't see something potentially harmful to their friend and think oh I'm not getting involved in case it backfires on me!

If I had a friend that did that they would be a friend no longer.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"We all here for sex

no we're not

So on a swingers site but not here for sex, that just isn't swinging!

report me then for being a non-shagger

I already did its just not on using this site how you want to. Sheesh next you'll be telling me its ok to have pubic hair and not squirt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If he is cheating they always get caught out in the end but are you familiar with the saying, " don't shoot the messenger ? ". Plus how well do you really know your friend ? In your shoes I would block him move on and concentrate on my own private life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"None of the o p business to be honest if you going to say owt drop him a nessage saying you know but you risk being outed too.

Keep out of it it will get messier if you get involved."

Disagree completely... if I found out one of my best friends was being cheated on there is no way I wouldn't do something about it. I would hope none of my friends would turn a blind eye either.

The problem with messaging him is that he could delete this profile and set up a new one. I would screen shot his profile and outright ask my friend about it.

I don't think any of my close friends would blame me for bringing it to their attention.

I guess it depends on the type of friendship you have.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

Mind your own business!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"None of the o p business to be honest if you going to say owt drop him a nessage saying you know but you risk being outed too.

Keep out of it it will get messier if you get involved.

Disagree completely... if I found out one of my best friends was being cheated on there is no way I wouldn't do something about it. I would hope none of my friends would turn a blind eye either.

The problem with messaging him is that he could delete this profile and set up a new one. I would screen shot his profile and outright ask my friend about it.

I don't think any of my close friends would blame me for bringing it to their attention.

I guess it depends on the type of friendship you have."

Talk about judging someone, you have no idea if cheating is involved!, as I said it is no ones business except for the people involved.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If he is cheating they always get caught out in the end but are you familiar with the saying, " don't shoot the messenger ? ". Plus how well do you really know your friend ? In your shoes I would block him move on and concentrate on my own private life."

Best comment thus far

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

If she doesn't know that you are on here how do you know that she doesn't know that he is? How do you know that she isn't on here too?

There are too many unknowns in this situation for you to make any decision or tell your mate. Until and unless you know the facts stay out of it.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

Block him and continue minding your own business. You're not the moral. Interfering will not end well.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating? "

Why does anyone believe they need to involve themselves in other people's business?

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Is he aware that its actually you on here...if not I would message him and tell him you know who he is, who his gf is and tell him if he doesn't tell her you will...he won't know who you are so no come back and then block him and hope he dissappears off the site...id screen print his profile though to save for future use in case he does know its you. If he's here as a single guy, regardless of whether he is cheating or not, he's still advertising he is single when not if he doesn't mention his gf in his profile...hence he's deceiving someone!"

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 13/12/13 17:34:42]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When my ex cheated on me his friend told me and i'm glad he did.

I would do what you think is best, but you never know she might have a profile as well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

What have I done now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"None of the o p business to be honest if you going to say owt drop him a nessage saying you know but you risk being outed too.

Keep out of it it will get messier if you get involved.

Disagree completely... if I found out one of my best friends was being cheated on there is no way I wouldn't do something about it. I would hope none of my friends would turn a blind eye either.

The problem with messaging him is that he could delete this profile and set up a new one. I would screen shot his profile and outright ask my friend about it.

I don't think any of my close friends would blame me for bringing it to their attention.

I guess it depends on the type of friendship you have.

Talk about judging someone, you have no idea if cheating is involved!, as I said it is no ones business except for the people involved."

The OP said her friend doesn't know. That is what I am basing my comment on.

That's your opinion, its not a fact. I believe that my close friends ARE my business and I couldn't sit by, knowing something was going on, waiting for them to get hurt.

What a sad world if we can't look out for people we love because their partners profile on a sex site is "none of our business".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

If you had serious reason to believe your best friend/ a close friend was being cheated on would you do nothing? Just continue to hang out with them, most likely listen to them talk about their partner, acting like you knew nothing? I couldn't do that.

What about when they find out and turn to you for comfort? I would feel awful if I'd known all along.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In such a situation you wont be able to do right for doing wrong

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I appreciate she's your friend but I'm guessing you don't want people to know you're on here so I don't get how you think it would be alright for you to 'out' someone else."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Block him and carry on "

Great advice....block and don't get involved

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

"
..Send him a wink see if he reply's,Then say you think you know his partner

..See what he does then.xx

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By *ebsCoupleCouple over a year ago

Orpington/london

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating? "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Send him a message saying fancy seeing you on here!! And ask how ya friend is x

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

What about when they find out and turn to you for comfort? I would feel awful if I'd known all along."

Find out what? All that we know for sure is that the op is a member of fab and is pretty sure she has come across her friends boyfriend. That is the sum total of our knowledge but there's a whole saga here woven from these sketchy details.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Block him and carry on "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Friends look out for each other. They don't see something potentially harmful to their friend and think oh I'm not getting involved in case it backfires on me!

If I had a friend that did that they would be a friend no longer.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Friends look out for each other. They don't see something potentially harmful to their friend and think oh I'm not getting involved in case it backfires on me!

If I had a friend that did that they would be a friend no longer.

And if as does happen a "mate" has set a profile up in his name, with his photos for a "laugh"? Stay out if you don't know the facts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

What about when they find out and turn to you for comfort? I would feel awful if I'd known all along.

That was more of a general question on the subject to people telling the OP that its none of her business whether her friend is being cheated on or not.

I can't fathom how you could take that attitude towards someone you care about.

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By *ensualNorthantsMan over a year ago

Northampton

cheats dont propser

friends = important

sisters over misters or for us guys bros over hoes,,,tell her!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Friends look out for each other. They don't see something potentially harmful to their friend and think oh I'm not getting involved in case it backfires on me!

If I had a friend that did that they would be a friend no longer.

And if as does happen a "mate" has set a profile up in his name, with his photos for a "laugh"? Stay out if you don't know the facts."

But how would you know the facts if you ignored it? It could be a friend... or it could be him.

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By *nfieldishCouple over a year ago

Enfield

????......say nothing.......why would anyone do anything else....?

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By *olidayfuntimesCouple over a year ago

Spain.

you will get the blame i suspect if things are found out x

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

What would you expect of your friend,if it was your boyfriend.

Some of the posts on this thread,has me thinking,some people have no concept of friendship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

What would you expect of your friend,if it was your boyfriend.

Some of the posts on this thread,has me thinking,some people have no concept of friendship.

Yes! I'm glad someone else shares my thoughts!

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

What would you expect of your friend,if it was your boyfriend.

Some of the posts on this thread,has me thinking,some people have no concept of friendship.

Yes! I'm glad someone else shares my thoughts!

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By *iggamanMan over a year ago

London

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

What would you expect of your friend,if it was your boyfriend.

Some of the posts on this thread,has me thinking,some people have no concept of friendship.

Yes! I'm glad someone else shares my thoughts!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How would you know if you weren't on here .you can't say anything can you.cos its a catch 22 situation if you message him and find out what hes doing or give an ultimatum,he could just join another site .if you tell your friend you have to say you came on here .has he sent a picture or do you just think he so here?xxpoppyxx

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Friends look out for each other. They don't see something potentially harmful to their friend and think oh I'm not getting involved in case it backfires on me!

If I had a friend that did that they would be a friend no longer.

And if as does happen a "mate" has set a profile up in his name, with his photos for a "laugh"? Stay out if you don't know the facts.

But how would you know the facts if you ignored it? It could be a friend... or it could be him."

How is she going to know the facts anyway. That is my point, all she has to go on is a profile on a swingers site...no more and no less. However many of the posters on here are ready to suggest that she sends a copy of that profile anonymously to his girlfriend, many have assumed automatically that he's cheating, some have accused others of having no concept of friendship....all on the basis of a profile on a swingers site that none of us have even seen. The potential for harm here is enormous.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

What about when they find out and turn to you for comfort? I would feel awful if I'd known all along.

That was more of a general question on the subject to people telling the OP that its none of her business whether her friend is being cheated on or not.

I can't fathom how you could take that attitude towards someone you care about."

If the op knew that her friend was being cheated on, if she had seen with her own eyes the man concerned actually cheating on his partner then of course I would say tell her. But that hasn't happened here...has it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

What about when they find out and turn to you for comfort? I would feel awful if I'd known all along.

That was more of a general question on the subject to people telling the OP that its none of her business whether her friend is being cheated on or not.

I can't fathom how you could take that attitude towards someone you care about.

In her OP she seemed to know it was him. "He's popped up". Not that she thinks it might be him... so that would lead me to believe there is something in his profile that identifies him.

I don't think she needs to watch the live porno - the intention would be enough for me to tell my friend.

If she already knows about it... no harm no foul.

If his friends have set him up for some weird reason, then all you've done is out yourself to a friend. Worse things have happened.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

What about when they find out and turn to you for comfort? I would feel awful if I'd known all along.

That was more of a general question on the subject to people telling the OP that its none of her business whether her friend is being cheated on or not.

I can't fathom how you could take that attitude towards someone you care about.

In her OP she seemed to know it was him. "He's popped up". Not that she thinks it might be him... so that would lead me to believe there is something in his profile that identifies him.

I don't think she needs to watch the live porno - the intention would be enough for me to tell my friend.

If she already knows about it... no harm no foul.

If his friends have set him up for some weird reason, then all you've done is out yourself to a friend. Worse things have happened. "

Fair enough. I wouldn't take that course of action myself but we're all different. I'm not saying I wouldn't contact the boyfriend and tell him that I'd seen him though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/13 22:30:10]

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

id have to take my pic down and chat him up for a larf

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd block him and find a way to get his profile sent to her esp if has play meet verifys. No point telling him he will delete it like never happend where as she has a right to know. Be night not have cheated but he's intending to

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

What about when they find out and turn to you for comfort? I would feel awful if I'd known all along.

That was more of a general question on the subject to people telling the OP that its none of her business whether her friend is being cheated on or not.

I can't fathom how you could take that attitude towards someone you care about.

My view too! I always remember my dad saying "don't get involved in man and woman business" as the messenger is often shot.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Bloody hell, what is wrong with you people?!!

I'd be very worried meeting some people going by some of the responses on this thread!

What about when they find out and turn to you for comfort? I would feel awful if I'd known all along.

That was more of a general question on the subject to people telling the OP that its none of her business whether her friend is being cheated on or not.

I can't fathom how you could take that attitude towards someone you care about.

My view too! I always remember my dad saying "don't get involved in man and woman business" as the messenger is often shot."

well so many people seem to know exactly what is going on from such little evidence that I am starting to believe in e.s.p. Amazing that in the name of friendship people are willing to tell a woman that her man is cheating on her despite not actually knowing for sure that he is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thankyou to everyone who posted to my dilemma! He clearly doesn't know its me and he is pushing to meet, I am very torn as she really loves him, think im going to message on the back of his telling him I know his g/f then he knows someone knows! hopefully he will do the right thing xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

agree to meet him and have her round for brew!! pmsl tell him to come naked under a coat lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe he isn't getting any from you're friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"agree to meet him and have her round for brew!! pmsl tell him to come naked under a coat lol

Love this idea xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Maybe he isn't getting any from you're friend "

Fair point maybe he knows it's u and always fancied u

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By *utty_JiggleCouple over a year ago

Black Country

"Friends look out for each other. They don't see something potentially harmful to their friend and think oh I'm not getting involved in case it backfires on me!

If I had a friend that did that they would be a friend no longer.

Personally, I couldn't stand back knowing a friend of mine was being cheated on... what would you do if you saw him cheating outside fab.. would you still stay quiet?

I know it feels hard as for most fab is a secret part of their life you don't want people to know. Is your friend someone who would frown upon swinging or would she understand your reasons. These are the questions you need to ask yourself before approaching it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"agree to meet him and have her round for brew!! pmsl tell him to come naked under a coat lol

Love this idea xx"

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By *adja_lazloCouple over a year ago

Solihull

take a pic of his page print it off post it to her,,hate cheats

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I concur with MC-Rider. Print off the profile & send it to him anonymously with some form of note to the effect of 'how would your gf feel if she knew you were on here?'. It might make him realise he's being a fool and get off. If not, I would then send it anonymously to my friend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What of it's stolen pictures on a fake profile?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would tell him that I know and then stay the hell out of it. You don't know if she knows or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

always been an advocate of keeping my shit out of other peoples business.

just be a friend if, and when, she finds out.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

I can't believe some people are advocating outing him by sending his girlfriend a screenshot anonymously.

How would you feel if someone sent a screenshot of your profile to your parent, friends or boss? Hell why not the local newspaper?

Outing is outing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm on here, my husband doesn't know but my best friend does and she knows my home situation but wouldn't out me to him. But if I saw someone I knew in the situation you describe I'd message him here to let him know you know as others have said. I have got a similar thing myself actually but they aren't a friend but someone I sometimes see at one of my jobs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She doesn't know your on here and you say she doesn't know he's on here, how do you know she doesn't know he's on here as you obviously haven't spoken about the site or swinging to her, she may well know but like you hasnt spoken about it as its private, until you know the full facts of the situation is it fair to start casting aspersions?

Just my 2penneth

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It could just be an online thing for extra attention, he may not actually go through with a meet, I'd stay out of it.

There may be a chance she takes his side and you could loose a friend.

She may already be aware of it and then you have only out yourself.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"She doesn't know your on here and you say she doesn't know he's on here, how do you know she doesn't know he's on here as you obviously haven't spoken about the site or swinging to her, she may well know but like you hasnt spoken about it as its private, until you know the full facts of the situation is it fair to start casting aspersions?

Just my 2penneth"

I agree, more harm will come from meddling in someone elses.affairs without knowing the facts. On the face of it he is here looking for sex behind her back....but only on the face of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

take a pic of his page print it off post it to her,,hate cheats

I'd mind my own business, hell hath no fury like a cheater caught oot!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Keep out of it, as you don't know the whole story.

Be a friend to your friend if and when she needs you.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I concur with MC-Rider. Print off the profile & send it to him anonymously with some form of note to the effect of 'how would your gf feel if she knew you were on here?'. It might make him realise he's being a fool and get off. If not, I would then send it anonymously to my friend."

If someone has the guts to out a person they should have the guts to out themselves at the same time. After all if you're sure of your facts what do you have to hide?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

take a pic of his page print it off post it to her,,hate cheats

yep i agree print out his page and send it to friend

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By *eryBigGirlWoman over a year ago

East Yorkshire

What the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' so it may backfire on you

Personally I think its none of your business but then again I've never been cheated on so don't know if I'd want to know or not!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can't believe some people are advocating outing him by sending his girlfriend a screenshot anonymously.

How would you feel if someone sent a screenshot of your profile to your parent, friends or boss? Hell why not the local newspaper?

Outing is outing.

"
it's different outing to work or family. But on here ither already cheated or intending to cheat his gf deserves to know what a shit guy he is. Don't tell him u know as that gives him time to destroy evidence and keep stringing poor along.

He doesn't deserve ur kindness but ur friend does

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I can't believe some people are advocating outing him by sending his girlfriend a screenshot anonymously.

How would you feel if someone sent a screenshot of your profile to your parent, friends or boss? Hell why not the local newspaper?

Outing is putting.

it's different outing to work or family. But on here ither already cheated or intending to cheat his gf deserves to know what a shit guy he is. Don't tell him u know as that gives him time to destroy evidence and keep stringing poor along.

He doesn't deserve ur kindness but ur friend does "

You're making too many assumptions here and advocating a course if action that could be far from kind for the friend.

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By *unkydesignCouple over a year ago

Manchester

It may be his photo but did he create the profile? You need to be sure before going in with all guns blazing.

Somebody once copied my Facebook profile picture and set up a fake account on there and on a regular dating site. This person was from the Middle East so why he chose my pale face I have no idea. It didn't affect me as I was single at the time but I reported it to admins and had the profiles removed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lets hope he doesn't read the forums or the evidence may already be destroyed haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally i wouldn't get involved, what goes on behind closed door stays behind closed doors. Its obviously how you like your life to remain also!!! Just be a friend if she ever needs it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It may be his photo but did he create the profile? You need to be sure before going in with all guns blazing.

Perfect example of how you may not know the full story

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Reading this back lots of the answers are more about revenge for the boyfriends supposed misdemeanours and less about concern for the ops friend.

To the op I would say that a real friend would talk to the man concerned and if you think your friend stands to get hurt talk to her. If you feel you can't do that back off and butt out.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"always been an advocate of keeping my shit out of other peoples business.

just be a friend if, and when, she finds out."

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

we don't really know many facts here! As others have said it could be anything from a mate posting as him, him just looking for a bit of a perve right through to veri's showing bareback gangbangs.

i agree with the poster who said as a friend i couldn't do nothing, i'd contact him (away from fab) and say I knew he was here and then see what his reaction is. No judgement but i couldn't face my friend if i just ignored the situation.

I was cheated on by an ex, i totally respect the person who told me, she was a friend but not a bestie, she caught my ex sneaking out of her flatmates room one morning. She was more upset than i was when she told me and i thought it was brave of her. I was glad i found out.

Ruby x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with nicecouple, pull him to the side and quiz him over it, ask him to remove himself from the site or you'll out him

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Just my 2penneth"

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By *mumaWoman over a year ago

Livingston

"always been an advocate of keeping my shit out of other peoples business.

just be a friend if, and when, she finds out.

Let's not also forget OP that your friend may actually know and you telling her could be seen as "stirring the shit"/jealousy and you could lose a friendship....

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By *ara34Woman over a year ago

cheshire

I'd have a chat with my friend, tell her what I suspected and help her set up her own profile, so that she could catch him out herself.

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By *ingerbicky69Woman over a year ago

EXETER

Id have a chat with the bf. Tell him to sort it out before your mate gets hurt.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Some of the comments are positively

wow!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

why dunt u just fuck him?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

Can you be certain she doesn't know?

Are you sure he is using the site to meet?

Are you sure it is definitely him that has set up the profile?

Are they serious and in a 'proper' relationship rather than having fun?

Too many unknowns to give real advice, but personally if she was a close friend I couldn't sit back and do nothing. Guess the real question is do you trust your friend enough to tell her your secrets though so you can then tell her his? If you can't tell her you're on here then are you close enough to tell her about his exploits?

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By *eeriseWoman over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

OP this story has me somewhat confused.

You say the man is pushing to meet you yet you have no pictures on show....This strikes me as odd as most people would be asking to see photos straight away.

Is there more to this story that you're not saying?

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By *lutandhubbyCouple over a year ago

west midlands

"Its a risk hes been prepared to take. Nows hes been caught out him. We agree, he should not cheat, she would want to know. Deserves to know. "

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Ive removed posts. Please keep personal digs off the forums. Thanks.

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By *leasurexxWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

"OP this story has me somewhat confused.

You say the man is pushing to meet you yet you have no pictures on show....This strikes me as odd as most people would be asking to see photos straight away.

Is there more to this story that you're not saying?"

Was thinking the same x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP this story has me somewhat confused.

You say the man is pushing to meet you yet you have no pictures on show....This strikes me as odd as most people would be asking to see photos straight away.

Is there more to this story that you're not saying?"

More to story definetly in that its a crock of shit in my opinuon.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can't believe some people are advocating outing him by sending his girlfriend a screenshot anonymously.

How would you feel if someone sent a screenshot of your profile to your parent, friends or boss? Hell why not the local newspaper?

Outing is putting.

He doesn't deserve ur kindness but ur friend does

You're making too many assumptions here and advocating a course if action that could be far from kind for the friend."

Fair enough poss not him but his pics. Confirm it's him without telling him u know then tell friend. Don't help him cheat by hiding info ur friend will find out and then blame u for not tellin her

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple over a year ago

wirral

Cheats should be lined up and shot

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By *eeriseWoman over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

"Cheats should be lined up and shot"

Your statement's a bit harsh, he might not have even done anything.

It could be possible he's on here for picture swapping ect and have no intention of actually meeting anyone.

Perhaps he's reading this thread....but would someone really create a thread for the person their talking about to see?!?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheats should be lined up and shot"

I never cheated and have been cheated on but to say they should be shot is a tad over dramatic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheats should be lined up and shot"

That's harsh to say about us cheaters.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP this story has me somewhat confused.

You say the man is pushing to meet you yet you have no pictures on show....This strikes me as odd as most people would be asking to see photos straight away.

Is there more to this story that you're not saying?"

This is exactly as I say they live together and some of his meets have been since they moved it together! I would not out him and only pic he has seen of me is a far a way shot. I am going to message him back on here and tell him to sort himself out

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By *orthyorkypairCouple over a year ago

North Yorkshire

drop him in the shit!!! cheating like that makes us furious,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheats should be lined up and shot"

no they dont, they deserve ignoring and not getting anything on here, but because some on here are completely driven by sexual gratification and not whats morally or ethically correct, it will never be any different.

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By *eeriseWoman over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

"OP this story has me somewhat confused.

You say the man is pushing to meet you yet you have no pictures on show....This strikes me as odd as most people would be asking to see photos straight away.

Is there more to this story that you're not saying?

OP I get that it's your friend but to be fair I think you should stay out of it.

You sending him a message will only send him underground.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/12/13 14:47:28]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So far the o p has made veiled threats to out the alkeged bloke i have doubts that any of it is true but lets assume it is for a minute.

Either do it or keep out of their lives and concentrate on your own.

Far too many busy bodys as it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stay out of it. I lost a good friend a few months ago with this exact situation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Give her my number

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So far the o p has made veiled threats to out the alkeged bloke i have doubts that any of it is true but lets assume it is for a minute.

Either do it or keep out of their lives and concentrate on your own.

Far too many busy bodys as it is."

I have not made any threats, I have asked for advice, think you should read what I have said !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good luck Jenny. From what i can see in this situation is that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I think a great deal depends on your relationship with your friend.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good luck Jenny. From what i can see in this situation is that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I think a great deal depends on your relationship with your friend."

Thank you, it is making me feel sick! Xx

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple over a year ago

wirral

"Cheats should be lined up and shot

Your statement's a bit harsh, he might not have even done anything.

It could be possible he's on here for picture swapping ect and have no intention of actually meeting anyone.

Perhaps he's reading this thread....but would someone really create a thread for the person their talking about to see?!?!"

Regardless of if he has done anything or not....he is trying to.

Just leave.

The pain and humilation of being cheated on is immense.

Maybe being shot is a bit ott....frying pan to the head any better?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The messenger always gets shot

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Good luck Jenny. From what i can see in this situation is that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I think a great deal depends on your relationship with your friend.

Thank you, it is making me feel sick! Xx

jenny, you are giving this far too much of your thought time.

i actually disagree that you are damned if you do, damned if you dont.

your friend doesnt know you are on here.

if you tell her about him, whats the chance she will out you?

i would say quite big seeings as her BF could say you approached him to come on here or something.

i stand by staying out and being a shoulder when she needs you.

that way you are what you should be.

IF you had seen him take a girl down a back alley or round the back of the pub on a saturday then its a different situation, but you really shouldnt be putting yourself in a position that it could backfire and ruin your own life too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good luck Jenny. From what i can see in this situation is that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I think a great deal depends on your relationship with your friend.

Thank you, it is making me feel sick! Xx

jenny, you are giving this far too much of your thought time.

i actually disagree that you are damned if you do, damned if you dont.

your friend doesnt know you are on here.

if you tell her about him, whats the chance she will out you?

i would say quite big seeings as her BF could say you approached him to come on here or something.

i stand by staying out and being a shoulder when she needs you.

that way you are what you should be.

Thank you for your very helpful message xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We all here for sex

no we're not

So on a swingers site but not here for sex, that just isn't swinging! "

There is more to the sweinging lifestyle than the sex, but obviously you haven't reached that level of understanding yet.

The sex is a bonus not a must.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To my mind there are several facts you need to consider before you act.

1. It's possible your friend knows and either approves or allows him to play.

2. If you confront her then you will have to admit your swinging hobby and once it's out then it's out.

3. If you confront him then there is a chance he will recognise you and again once your secret is out it's out.

4. Shooting the messenger. It's a saying for a reason. In the middle of an arguement can you feel completely safe that your name won't come up as the person who broke the news.

I agree the right thing to do is to tell your friend. However you should be aware of the consequences

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Block him and carry on "

i,d hate to be reading a daily paper headline female swinger tells on male friend for cheating FOUND DEAD in her home

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

my friend know im on here, and they know that i dont agree with cheating, so for me, I would have to tell the friend they were being cheated on x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Block him and carry on

i,d hate to be reading a daily paper headline female swinger tells on male friend for cheating FOUND DEAD in her home

What the bloody hell!

Well this thread has gone kinda weird.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Block him and carry on

i,d hate to be reading a daily paper headline female swinger tells on male friend for cheating FOUND DEAD in her home

What the bloody hell! wrong

Well this thread has gone kinda weird. "

No it has not I.m merely pointing out that there can be huge consequences for telling on an individual for cheating what one deems as right another may deem as wrong

Telling on this guy could be disastrous for the lady that started the thread it.s easy to advise her to go ahead and tell her friend the truth as the advisor wouldn't carry the can for it what if the guy lost it and went to extreme measures would people be saying then well least she told her friend ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Okay. I would've just said 'there could be adverse consequences' not envisage a murder scenario. Lol.

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By *iddlesbroughmaleMan over a year ago

middlesbrough

How do you no hes cheating you say she doesnt no your on here how would you like someone to tell people you are on here

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By *orthingcoupleCouple over a year ago

littlehampton

I think the only comment worth making here. Is we are all here for sex of some kind or another and I dont think anyone has the right to judge another person for being on here.

Wasn't the message let him without sin caste the first stone ? not that I'm Christian

But hey isn't that why this world is in such a horrid mess because too many people are too quick to judge another just because of the colour of their skin or their religious beliefs.

Unless you know both sides of any story - you cannot make an informed judgement - that's why we still have trials in this country and the lynch mob mentality went out years ago

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Unless you know both sides of any story - you cannot make an informed judgement - that's why we still have trials in this country and the lynch mob mentality went out years ago

I wish that was true! Read back through this and some other threads, lynch mob mentality is alive and carry torches and pitchforks near you.

As I said before we know one thing, third hand on that basis not only is he cheating on someone we know nothing about but is a potential murderer. Next thing you know he'll be crossing the road without looking both ways and dropping litter in the street.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

she deserves better. do a print off of his profile and post anaon. being her mate, she's likely to show you it and ask opinions.

Hes' a filthy cheating little shit and shouldnt get away with it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

seems some people are judge, jury and executioner!

However, I was in a similar situation many years ago, when my best friend at the times, girlfriend was cheating on him with several guys. I told him. He wouldn't believe it, of her and it spoilt are very close friendship! My advice would be to leave well alone. Either way, you could lose a friend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

how about you stay out their business

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is his profile new or an old pre relationship one?

Has he had meets since starting the relationship?

Did she get him to sign up to catch you out as being on here?

Is it them acting out a fantasy?

So many unknowns, time to be devious! Simply arrange a ffm social meet with him, then turn up at the meet venue on a night out with her, leaving him squirming and watching the door whilst trying to explain why he is there to your mate.

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By *iggamanMan over a year ago

London

"Block him and carry on

i,d hate to be reading a daily paper headline female swinger tells on male friend for cheating FOUND DEAD in her home

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If that was one of my friends partners then I would take a screen shot, and show her, and let the op friend take it from there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think the only comment worth making here. Is we are all here for sex of some kind or another and I dont think anyone has the right to judge another person for being on here.

Wasn't the message let him without sin caste the first stone ? not that I'm Christian

But hey isn't that why this world is in such a horrid mess because too many people are too quick to judge another just because of the colour of their skin or their religious beliefs.

Unless you know both sides of any story - you cannot make an informed judgement - that's why we still have trials in this country and the lynch mob mentality went out years ago

I don't think you can compare a racist with someone being anti-cheating.

I would say that the world is a horrid place because people don't give a stuff about each other.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Block him and carry on

i,d hate to be reading a daily paper headline female swinger tells on male friend for cheating FOUND DEAD in her home

What the bloody hell!

Has gone very very weird.

Well this thread has gone kinda weird. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

how about you stay out their business"

Thsts bit unhelpful.

If was my bf and I didn't know was on here and was meeting women I'd want to know. No point op telling the bf as he will delete all evidence and poss try steer gf away from friendship with op.

Can't stand cheaters

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had this happen to me recently found my friends hubby on a well known fishy dating site. Took the time to read his profile ha ha all lies etc so took a screen shot and sat her down with a coffee to show her! She had it out with him that afternoon he left. Once a cheater always a cheater she's better off without him. And would I do it again? Without a shadow of doubt. In my eyes relationships may come and go but friends should be there forever

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would arrange a social meet with him and watch him shit his pant when he turned up and seen it was meeting you for a coffee. Would make him think twice.

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By *extoysareusCouple over a year ago

kinky heaven

"Block him and carry on

i,d hate to be reading a daily paper headline female swinger tells on male friend for cheating FOUND DEAD in her home

What the bloody hell! wrong

Well this thread has gone kinda weird.

No it has not I.m merely pointing out that there can be huge consequences for telling on an individual for cheating what one deems as right another may deem as wrong

Yes it has, I don't think anyone in their right mind would envisage a murder scenario

Imagine all the letters to dear Deirdre,

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By *aisy100Woman over a year ago

wakefield

Its all "ifs and buts" from what ive read her friends boyfriend is on a swinging site and has met people and also wants to meet her. If I was in this situation then I would want to be told and I would tell my friend. Although " friend" would be someone I am close to not an aquaintance/friend that I dont really see.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Obviously she dont know im on here, he has now popped up!!! Dont agree as she dont know! Advice please x

I wouldn't get involved its for him to tell her and she may already know it might not even be him unless you have met.

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By *opinovMan over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating? "

Indeed.

Come to that, how do you know she's not on here too and both are meeting others consensually via their individual profiles?

What makes you so sure that you are party to their most private arrangements?

Block him and move on, if you must, but it doesn't seem right to go trampling around in other people's private affairs .. so to speak.

After all, there are plenty of ultra-vanilla folks out there who think the very idea of couples swinging is an abomination and yet here we all are.

How would any of us feel if a friend of our family recognised us and, on the basis of their individual interpretation of morality, sent a copy of our profiles to other members of our family?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating?

Indeed.

Come to that, how do you know she's not on here too and both are meeting others consensually via their individual profiles?

What makes you so sure that you are party to their most private arrangements?

Block him and move on, if you must, but it doesn't seem right to go trampling around in other people's private affairs .. so to speak.

After all, there are plenty of ultra-vanilla folks out there who think the very idea of couples swinging is an abomination and yet here we all are.

How would any of us feel if a friend of our family recognised us and, on the basis of their individual interpretation of morality, sent a copy of our profiles to other members of our family?"

Nobody is talking about sending his profile to his entire family or place of work. People have only mentioned sending it back to him or sending it to the gf.

If the OP tells her and it turns out they are both on here then... so what? Is that a disaster? No. Nobody would be being cheated on and the OP would have a friend to talk to about the site.

The fact that they may both be on here is no reason not to tell her.

The OP has mentioned earlier that he has seen an unclear photo of her... so I'm assuming (possibly wrongly) that she has seen a photo of him and therefore knows that it IS him.

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By *opinovMan over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating?

Indeed.

Come to that, how do you know she's not on here too and both are meeting others consensually via their individual profiles?

What makes you so sure that you are party to their most private arrangements?

Block him and move on, if you must, but it doesn't seem right to go trampling around in other people's private affairs .. so to speak.

After all, there are plenty of ultra-vanilla folks out there who think the very idea of couples swinging is an abomination and yet here we all are.

How would any of us feel if a friend of our family recognised us and, on the basis of their individual interpretation of morality, sent a copy of our profiles to other members of our family?

-------------------------------------

Nobody is talking about sending his profile to his entire family or place of work. People have only mentioned sending it back to him or sending it to the gf.

If the OP tells her and it turns out they are both on here then... so what? Is that a disaster? No. Nobody would be being cheated on and the OP would have a friend to talk to about the site.

The fact that they may both be on here is no reason not to tell her.

The OP has mentioned earlier that he has seen an unclear photo of her... so I'm assuming (possibly wrongly) that she has seen a photo of him and therefore knows that it IS him."

I'm not suggesting they are. All I'm doing is illustrating, by means of a random example we might all relate to, how inadvisable it is to go butting into the private business of others uninvited and imposing one's own interpretation of morality upon them when not in full possession of the facts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you know your friend isn't aware that he's on here?

Why does everyone assume he's cheating?

Indeed.

Come to that, how do you know she's not on here too and both are meeting others consensually via their individual profiles?

What makes you so sure that you are party to their most private arrangements?

Block him and move on, if you must, but it doesn't seem right to go trampling around in other people's private affairs .. so to speak.

After all, there are plenty of ultra-vanilla folks out there who think the very idea of couples swinging is an abomination and yet here we all are.

How would any of us feel if a friend of our family recognised us and, on the basis of their individual interpretation of morality, sent a copy of our profiles to other members of our family?

-------------------------------------

Nobody is talking about sending his profile to his entire family or place of work. People have only mentioned sending it back to him or sending it to the gf.

If the OP tells her and it turns out they are both on here then... so what? Is that a disaster? No. Nobody would be being cheated on and the OP would have a friend to talk to about the site.

The fact that they may both be on here is no reason not to tell her.

The OP has mentioned earlier that he has seen an unclear photo of her... so I'm assuming (possibly wrongly) that she has seen a photo of him and therefore knows that it IS him.

To most people, not cheating on a partner is a pretty standard set of morals to have.

And don't forget this is her friend. Not a random stranger. I know my friends rather well and also know their viewpoints on cheating.

If it turned out that they were on here consensually then I would be surprised but like I said before, no harm no foul - who'd have thought we'd all be on here?!

As I also mentioned before, I simply do not understand how people view looking out for a fried as "butting into people's private business".

I would expect my friends to do exactly that if they suspected my boyfriend was cheating on me.

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