FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > when messages arnt read...
when messages arnt read...
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They might look at your profile decide it's not for them and just delete.
I know it crap but like you say single guys outnumber fems/couples massively on here so it's just the way it is.
For the record you have a couple of very nice pics!!  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message  |
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"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message "
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message.  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message. "
Because if someone had read my profile they'd know why 
Plus 20+ how are you messages in a day is not very inspiring and I always read the profile first to see what effort they have made |
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"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message.
Because if someone had read my profile they'd know why
Plus 20+ how are you messages in a day is not very inspiring and I always read the profile first to see what effort they have made "
I have actually just read your profile and yes, it would be pointless to send you a "how are you". I meant more in general terms, not everyone's profile is as concise as yours and "how are you" is an inoffensive ice breaker. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I usually start with how are you, but only as an opening line to begin conversation as most women on here usually complain about wana fuck etc....
If people delete messages view profile etc then thats fine atkeast they look. But its whenthe message is never even opened,
So what would be a good subject line and opening line?
Thanks miss hottie bottie you too....  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message.
Because if someone had read my profile they'd know why
Plus 20+ how are you messages in a day is not very inspiring and I always read the profile first to see what effort they have made
I have actually just read your profile and yes, it would be pointless to send you a "how are you". I meant more in general terms, not everyone's profile is as concise as yours and "how are you" is an inoffensive ice breaker."
Whilst I agree to a certain extent, it's doesn't really give me much to answer with, apart from I'm fine thanks...
Makes for a very limited conversation, but that is just my opinion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm guilty of this too!
Sometimes like now though I have had loads which I'm not complaining about but it's a tad overwhelming. Then I only concentrate on either the latest ones or if someone has caught my eye.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message.
Because if someone had read my profile they'd know why
Plus 20+ how are you messages in a day is not very inspiring and I always read the profile first to see what effort they have made
I have actually just read your profile and yes, it would be pointless to send you a "how are you". I meant more in general terms, not everyone's profile is as concise as yours and "how are you" is an inoffensive ice breaker.
Whilst I agree to a certain extent, it's doesn't really give me much to answer with, apart from I'm fine thanks...
Makes for a very limited conversation, but that is just my opinion "
Exactly.
Limited and pointless. If wanted pointless chat could do that with the neighbors.
Make the effort with a message or just dont bother.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How are you? Shows no effort so on the basis you didn't bother why should we? Thats where we stand on it."
But my argument is my opening line maybe how are you as an ice breaker but then make the effort with a decent message refereing to profile etc.. but that never gets seen.
How do we go about catching your eye on the first line then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message "
Guilty of this too but I can't win, I don't reply I get abuse if I do reply to say 'No thanks' I get abuse so don't see the point in wasting energy in replying when I will get abuse anyway. |
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"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message "
This! |
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"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message.
Because if someone had read my profile they'd know why
Plus 20+ how are you messages in a day is not very inspiring and I always read the profile first to see what effort they have made
I have actually just read your profile and yes, it would be pointless to send you a "how are you". I meant more in general terms, not everyone's profile is as concise as yours and "how are you" is an inoffensive ice breaker."
How are you?
Fine.
...tumble... |
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"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message.
Because if someone had read my profile they'd know why
Plus 20+ how are you messages in a day is not very inspiring and I always read the profile first to see what effort they have made
I have actually just read your profile and yes, it would be pointless to send you a "how are you". I meant more in general terms, not everyone's profile is as concise as yours and "how are you" is an inoffensive ice breaker.
Whilst I agree to a certain extent, it's doesn't really give me much to answer with, apart from I'm fine thanks...
Makes for a very limited conversation, but that is just my opinion "
Spot on for me too: closed questions close down the conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ye says unread/read or deleted x
But that's what I'm saying you don't know whether the message was read or not as it only tells you if its deleted."
No because deleted means its been seen and deleted. But alot of the time it just stays unread lol |
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"How are you? Shows no effort so on the basis you didn't bother why should we? Thats where we stand on it.
But my argument is my opening line maybe how are you as an ice breaker but then make the effort with a decent message refereing to profile etc.. but that never gets seen.
How do we go about catching your eye on the first line then? "
If 21 men send messages, 20 will filter themselves out leaving the one with the imagination. There are certain things I look for not on my profile, will never be on my profile. It's a way of separating the wheat from the chaff.
Some people need spoon feeding: those people are not for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is nothing more uninspiring than an "how are you" message. Seriously, if you can't think of anything stimulating or inspiring to say in an opening message then why on earth would you think you are entitled to a reply? |
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"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message.
Because if someone had read my profile they'd know why
Plus 20+ how are you messages in a day is not very inspiring and I always read the profile first to see what effort they have made
I have actually just read your profile and yes, it would be pointless to send you a "how are you". I meant more in general terms, not everyone's profile is as concise as yours and "how are you" is an inoffensive ice breaker.
How are you?
Fine.
...tumble..."
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile. |
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"
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile. "
No offence but this shows how little of a clue about the magnitude and quality of emails a couple or female can recieve in a day, you have.
Of course occasionally it's fun to bait the pleb:
"how r u?"
"fine"
"thats good"
"yes"
(end of messages) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile.
No offence but this shows how little of a clue about the magnitude and quality of emails a couple or female can recieve in a day, you have.
Of course occasionally it's fun to bait the pleb:
"how r u?"
"fine"
"thats good"
"yes"
(end of messages)"
You can pretty much guarantee that anyone that sends an email as crap as "How are you", if given the chance will be no more interesting with any subsequent emails |
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"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message.
Because if someone had read my profile they'd know why
Plus 20+ how are you messages in a day is not very inspiring and I always read the profile first to see what effort they have made
I have actually just read your profile and yes, it would be pointless to send you a "how are you". I meant more in general terms, not everyone's profile is as concise as yours and "how are you" is an inoffensive ice breaker.
How are you?
Fine.
...tumble...
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile. "
Most messages: how are you? xxx What more do I need to see?!!
Even with such uninspired messages I read the profile...quelle surprise! Nothing to see there, but ever the optimist, still I look. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile.
No offence but this shows how little of a clue about the magnitude and quality of emails a couple or female can recieve in a day, you have.
Of course occasionally it's fun to bait the pleb:
"how r u?"
"fine"
"thats good"
"yes"
(end of messages)"
Plus I did also say I read their profile first as well...And reading 'here for fun, or looking for nsa' well no shit Sherlock!
And I will admit, I am so glad it's not just me with a normal mental stimulus  |
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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago
Bristol, Thornbury |
"How are you? Shows no effort so on the basis you didn't bother why should we? Thats where we stand on it.
But my argument is my opening line maybe how are you as an ice breaker but then make the effort with a decent message refereing to profile etc.. but that never gets seen.
How do we go about catching your eye on the first line then? "
Read the profile lol |
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" But its whenthe message is never even opened,
"
When you send mail a lot of people read your profile before opening your mail. If your profile does not interest them they delete the mail without reading it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message. "
I prefer a "how are you" message anyway over a "lets fukk" it's been one of my biggest pet peeves on here. But I do reply to every message even when I'm not interested. Some guys can't take no for an answer but i rather tell them than just not read or delete the message, and go from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So its not ok to polity ask how someone is before continuing on with the rest of the message? I always thought it was polite and showed some manners rather than say 'hi wanna fuk' |
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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
tend to agree will look at profile first then delete if its obvious they've not taken the time to even read the WHOLE profile reading a mail box of " what you up too?" and "hi" doesn't really spark much interest but to be honest be its probably not easy being a guy on here either  |
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"I am very guilty about this!
BUT.... I read the profile first and if no effort has been made then I can't be bothered to be honest, plus you can normally tell from the first line of the message, if it is going to be the usual, how are you type message
What's wrong with a "how are you" type message? Surely it's better than a "fancy a fuck" message.
Because if someone had read my profile they'd know why
Plus 20+ how are you messages in a day is not very inspiring and I always read the profile first to see what effort they have made
I have actually just read your profile and yes, it would be pointless to send you a "how are you". I meant more in general terms, not everyone's profile is as concise as yours and "how are you" is an inoffensive ice breaker.
How are you?
Fine.
...tumble...
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile. "
But you can see if there is more, as the preview would show the start of the next sentence if there was one. |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"Ye says unread/read or deleted x
But that's what I'm saying you don't know whether the message was read or not as it only tells you if its deleted.
No because deleted means its been seen and deleted. But alot of the time it just stays unread lol "
You're wrong...I've deleted many messages without reading them. |
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"
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile.
But you can see if there is more, as the preview would show the start of the next sentence if there was one."
But you can only see the first dozen or so words before opening the message. After that you've got no idea how long, well written or witty the message may be. Just because the opening line is poor doesn't necessarily mean you should dismiss the whole thing. Don't judge a book by it's cover and all that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have loads of "how are you" messages although my profile says I am fine. But I do always reply. I usually say "I am fine. How are you." To which they usually reply "fine."
That's when I delete them |
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"
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile.
But you can see if there is more, as the preview would show the start of the next sentence if there was one.
But you can only see the first dozen or so words before opening the message. After that you've got no idea how long, well written or witty the message may be. Just because the opening line is poor doesn't necessarily mean you should dismiss the whole thing. Don't judge a book by it's cover and all that. "
Yes first dozen or so words... so if there are only three words (how are you) you can tell! |
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"
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile.
But you can see if there is more, as the preview would show the start of the next sentence if there was one.
But you can only see the first dozen or so words before opening the message. After that you've got no idea how long, well written or witty the message may be. Just because the opening line is poor doesn't necessarily mean you should dismiss the whole thing. Don't judge a book by it's cover and all that.
Yes first dozen or so words... so if there are only three words (how are you) you can tell!"
I don't disagree with that but it wasn't really my point. Just because a message starts with a "how are you" type line, doesn't mean the rest of the message is equally as banal. And by deleting a message cause you think the first line is derivative then you may well be missing out on meeting some interesting people. |
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What I'm saying is if there is more to the message then you can see that there is more on the preview. So people who want to delete messages that only say how are you can do so safe in the knowledge that they haven't missed out on further gems of wisdom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have loads of "how are you" messages although my profile says I am fine. But I do always reply. I usually say "I am fine. How are you." To which they usually reply "fine."
That's when I delete them"
so, how are you? lol |
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"What I'm saying is if there is more to the message then you can see that there is more on the preview. So people who want to delete messages that only say how are you can do so safe in the knowledge that they haven't missed out on further gems of wisdom "
That's fair enough but people have said that they judge the whole message based on the bit they can see which could be considered no better than someone not reading a profile before messaging.
It has also been suggested that they view the persons profile first. But given the number of single guys with one line profiles and a dozen veri's, either they are master wordsmiths and send incredible messages (but given their profile says "sngl guy lukin fr fun" I think we can safely assume that they are not) OR they actually make the decision based on the pics, which begs the question, is the content of the message of any importance at all? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You guys have to think of the poor couples and single woman who havent got a personnal assistant or the time to keep up with U all.a mate at club showed me she had 255 messages,she cant keep up and deletes at times
Personnally i have ways of keeping mine down,blocks,dont answer winks and requests and being a fab addict helps  |
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"
"How are you" may not be the full extent of the message, I would imagine there would be something afterwards too. But people have said they delete based on what they can make out from the preview line which is nearly as bad as the person who sent it not reading their profile.
But you can see if there is more, as the preview would show the start of the next sentence if there was one.
But you can only see the first dozen or so words before opening the message. After that you've got no idea how long, well written or witty the message may be. Just because the opening line is poor doesn't necessarily mean you should dismiss the whole thing. Don't judge a book by it's cover and all that.
Yes first dozen or so words... so if there are only three words (how are you) you can tell!
I don't disagree with that but it wasn't really my point. Just because a message starts with a "how are you" type line, doesn't mean the rest of the message is equally as banal. And by deleting a message cause you think the first line is derivative then you may well be missing out on meeting some interesting people. "
You're missing the point a bit. Most people read the profile before the message. A dull, generic profile coupled with a "how are you?" message is another filter for someone I don't wish to meet.
A profile that shows personality and effort will entice me to open the message. Unfortunately, I've yet to progress past "fine" with those kinds of messages.
What happens is after you respond they hotlist you and every...fricking...time you log on: there it is, another "hi, how are you?" |
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"
You're missing the point a bit. Most people read the profile before the message. A dull, generic profile coupled with a "how are you?" message is another filter for someone I don't wish to meet.
A profile that shows personality and effort will entice me to open the message. Unfortunately, I've yet to progress past "fine" with those kinds of messages.
What happens is after you respond they hotlist you and every...fricking...time you log on: there it is, another "hi, how are you?" "
I'm missing nothing and if you look at my previous comment you'll see I've given my opinion on people viewing the profile first. |
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"What I'm saying is if there is more to the message then you can see that there is more on the preview. So people who want to delete messages that only say how are you can do so safe in the knowledge that they haven't missed out on further gems of wisdom
That's fair enough but people have said that they judge the whole message based on the bit they can see which could be considered no better than someone not reading a profile before messaging.
It has also been suggested that they view the persons profile first. But given the number of single guys with one line profiles and a dozen veri's, either they are master wordsmiths and send incredible messages (but given their profile says "sngl guy lukin fr fun" I think we can safely assume that they are not) OR they actually make the decision based on the pics, which begs the question, is the content of the message of any importance at all? "
Every pot has its lid!
I frequently see single male profiles, one sentence, 20 pics of their knob, dozens of verifications. I can only assume club meets, even if not they've found their lids...I
delete their message!
Where problems arise is the inability of some to recognise they will not appeal to all, and how people choose to select their playmates is none of their business! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You could right a novel or write just two lines on here.
Its all about if yr face fits.
my view is that if you come on a site like here then you know yr going to get in undated with messages.
Then you make the time to reply to them or get off the site.
plus because people can't see you face to face they don't think they need to reply |
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"You could right a novel or write just two lines on here.
Its all about if yr face fits.
my view is that if you come on a site like here then you know yr going to get in undated with messages.
Then you make the time to reply to them or get off the site.
plus because people can't see you face to face they don't think they need to reply"
 ...love the sense of entitlement!
Would you write to a woman with I ONLY MEET BI WOMEN and expect her to write to you saying no thanks because you've chosen to ignore her wants?!!  |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
I often say this,,,
Concentrate on your inbox not your outbox ,
If your inbox is empty,, channge something about what YOU are doing ,,, YOU can only change your behaviour the result of your changes may influence others,
One things for certain how others behave is out of your control,,
Have fun,, |
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"You could right a novel or write just two lines on here.
Its all about if yr face fits.
my view is that if you come on a site like here then you know yr going to get in undated with messages.
Then you make the time to reply to them or get off the site.
plus because people can't see you face to face they don't think they need to reply"
So I should only join a site like this if I have a spare hour or two a day to engage in conversation with people I'm not interested in meeting? |
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"You could right a novel or write just two lines on here.
Its all about if yr face fits.
my view is that if you come on a site like here then you know yr going to get in undated with messages.
Then you make the time to reply to them or get off the site.
plus because people can't see you face to face they don't think they need to reply
So I should only join a site like this if I have a spare hour or two a day to engage in conversation with people I'm not interested in meeting? "
Apparently so. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"You could right a novel or write just two lines on here.
Its all about if yr face fits.
my view is that if you come on a site like here then you know yr going to get in undated with messages.
Then you make the time to reply to them or get off the site.
plus because people can't see you face to face they don't think they need to reply"
ARE YOU FOR REAL???
What utter crap to sprout! I'm here for my own enjoyment not to be someone else's entertainment! |
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Wow go foxy, you cracked this thread lol.
I sit and do my messages in one hit as a rule.
So I'll click profile, scan that, open the message, scan that and if it's rubbish or they are miles out/age is out or other big factor I may just delete from the message. So unless you were refreshing your sent box every second, you'd miss the unread change to read then change to delete.
Mostly I respond; however, as I've just lifted my filters for a little bit, I've found I'm getting more thanks for responding/abuse/whinning back which I instantly delete.
I've promised to keep on top of my inbox this time round, which I can only do by using filters 95% of the time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have loads of "how are you" messages although my profile says I am fine. But I do always reply. I usually say "I am fine. How are you." To which they usually reply "fine."
That's when I delete them
so, how are you? lol"
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