FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Do single blokes struggle
Do single blokes struggle
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all im a 23 yo guy from the northeast havent been on the site for ages but dont really get any interest from women and couples. Can anyone give me any advice please  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i would advise searching the forums for this stuff as a lot of the answers are repeated over and over i dont know if views that would be VIEW he wrote a carcking guide for single guys and their profiles just search it or look through but plenty of advice kicking about out there ,if your struggling and canny be arsed searching id say patience , pictures, respect and honesty are appreciated just my view though . best of luck though mate  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Attending clubs, parties and socials is the way to go, if your only relying on the website and sending out messages then it’ll definitely be a struggle at times. The guys that seem to do the best on here tend to put a lot of effort in to mixing with others and getting themselves known face to face. |
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your profile seems to be wrote very well you have pics but only been a member 3 weeks and by the sounds have experience on other places as you seem to have had a cpl of meets so really you know how to go on, so join in the forums gets you seen and pop in the chat rooms have a crack and a giggle same thing gets you seen and ppl get to know you then just takes time , its nice when ppl cum on and ask for advice instead of a twisty why am i no gettin meets post . hope you find what you are looking for and big welcome |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
a Couple in the chatroom summed up very nicely why a lot of single guys struggle to get meets the other day - its simply that in their view a large proportion of the guys on swingers sites are what thy call "shaghunters" and not swingers.
I'll leave it up to you to decide what the difference between a single male swinger and a shaghunter is. But if you're honest with yourself you'll probably know which category you fit into. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a Couple in the chatroom summed up very nicely why a lot of single guys struggle to get meets the other day - its simply that in their view a large proportion of the guys on swingers sites are what thy call "shaghunters" and not swingers.
I'll leave it up to you to decide what the difference between a single male swinger and a shaghunter is. But if you're honest with yourself you'll probably know which category you fit into."
A great note there... we have meet some very nice single guys at clubs and home...(our choice!) not all single guys are bad ... but most are just out for a quick shag and look at swingers just as a quick shag... shame really for the real guys around ... |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"a Couple in the chatroom summed up very nicely why a lot of single guys struggle to get meets the other day - its simply that in their view a large proportion of the guys on swingers sites are what thy call "shaghunters" and not swingers.
I'll leave it up to you to decide what the difference between a single male swinger and a shaghunter is. But if you're honest with yourself you'll probably know which category you fit into."
I don't mind what people call them, we like playing with them
As we are not looking for a relationship with the single men we play with, then that is all we want them for, to have sex with, we use them for sex, they use us for sex, everyone goes home happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all im a 23 yo guy from the northeast havent been on the site for ages but dont really get any interest from women and couples. Can anyone give me any advice please "
Having talked to and seen a few single men it varies a lot. Some struggle really badly. They do tent to be less articulate and lack charisma. The ones who flourish have charm by the bucket load, are interesting to chat with and dont push too much. There are a couple on the forums that do well maybe ask them what the secret is. I don't think i can name names but i am sure some guys will point you in the right direction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i can understand why some of the single lads struggle as being a single fem i must admit i do prefer couples but ..... have my likings for sinlge lads also but when at 18 / 27 its just not poss as age range is too young well for me any way .
some of the lads on here i have kids older.
so makes me think alot about single lads who are not over 28 i just wont be with them .
maybe some other cpls and single fems also think the same x
but good luck an hope you do well xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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would it not be true to say that quite a lot of the couples on this site are "shaghunters" too and not swingers.
We often get mail or requests from the male saying the female blows hot and cold or is never there.
Our only advice would be to chat to the right couples and read their feedback /profile etc.
try to get along to socials and let people know the kind of lad you are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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dammed if i ken the diff lol we go to parties an shag .... we meet singles we shag ... we meet cpls we shag ......... aint we all just shaggers really swinging is the term we use to describe what we do an to justify it for others to make it easier to understand lol (vanilla's)
so much more fun now than flinging yer keys in a bowl an picking up ya hubby again lol
but heres how we are descibed as "swingers" lol
Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is a non-monogamous subculture, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple, single .
The phenomenon of swinging (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period.
Swinging was once called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as androcentric and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers currently may take part in today's society. It reflects the origins of swinging of actually swapping.
i think il stick to being a shagger lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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pmsfl rugby but its mostly true lol we all here for shagfest an if more were open an honest about it most wouldnt have to struggle lol .
i really think most sinlge lads is due to their age stops most peeps in tracks as most do have kids older than those mailing lol i have young lads i wont do in scotland room ffs callin me aunty sioux now cos they ages wie me sons lol |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"pmsfl rugby but its mostly true lol we all here for shagfest an if more were open an honest about it most wouldnt have to struggle lol .
i really think most sinlge lads is due to their age stops most peeps in tracks as most do have kids older than those mailing lol i have young lads i wont do in scotland room ffs callin me aunty sioux now cos they ages wie me sons lol "
Ah thats not so bad, it would be bad when they call you granny though lol
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Im gonna start looking for socials now i think try and get my face out there.
And see what I cant come up with hopefully meet some of you sexy women and couples that are helping. P.s best include the guys incase they get jeolous your sext too lol |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"You say shaghunters as if it is a bad thing.
We are on a sex site that funnily enough is to find people to shag.
What makes people a swinger rather than a shaghunter?"
I didnt intend it in a bad way - I've done my fair share of shaghunting in my time 
By way of an example, there's a single lady that I meet fairly regularly, and she wants something pretty specific from her meets and its nothing particularly way out. But nevertheless she finds that most guys just dont make the effort to give it to her when she meets them and just end up giving her a fairly vanilla sexual experience - something that she could get anywhere.
Despite the fact that there's seemingly loads of guys on here she really struggles to find guys that are genuinely capable of giving her what she came to a swingers site to find.
The simple fact is that men who are genuinely up for getting to know what others want AND actually coming through delivering the goods are in very short supply on here and experience very high demand a a result. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"You say shaghunters as if it is a bad thing.
We are on a sex site that funnily enough is to find people to shag.
What makes people a swinger rather than a shaghunter?
I didnt intend it in a bad way - I've done my fair share of shaghunting in my time
By way of an example, there's a single lady that I meet fairly regularly, and she wants something pretty specific from her meets and its nothing particularly way out. But nevertheless she finds that most guys just dont make the effort to give it to her when she meets them and just end up giving her a fairly vanilla sexual experience - something that she could get anywhere.
Despite the fact that there's seemingly loads of guys on here she really struggles to find guys that are genuinely capable of giving her what she came to a swingers site to find.
The simple fact is that men who are genuinely up for getting to know what others want AND actually coming through delivering the goods are in very short supply on here and experience very high demand a a result."
Ah I was referring to the post above ours, sorry I should have quoted.
So if you have repeat meets and get to know more about the person you are a swinger? One off's and you are not a swinger?
What happens if you go to a club and meet a stranger, play together then never see them again, are you a swinger or a shaghunters prey that night?
All too confusing for me
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"
So if you have repeat meets and get to know more about the person you are a swinger? One off's and you are not a swinger?
What happens if you go to a club and meet a stranger, play together then never see them again, are you a swinger or a shaghunters prey that night?
All too confusing for me
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what I was trying to get across (and clearly failed to ) is that its more about attitude than any kind of swinging "rules" or etiquette.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So if you have repeat meets and get to know more about the person you are a swinger? One off's and you are not a swinger?
What happens if you go to a club and meet a stranger, play together then never see them again, are you a swinger or a shaghunters prey that night?
All too confusing for me
what I was trying to get across (and clearly failed to ) is that its more about attitude than any kind of swinging "rules" or etiquette.
"
I understood what you said... so I ask you this. Is it then wrong for a guy to have an experience he'd like to accomplish, or something specific HE'd like to experience?... and if you just go about satisfying others needs could you not be accused of doing that also only to get a shag? |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"
I understood what you said... so I ask you this. Is it then wrong for a guy to have an experience he'd like to accomplish, or something specific HE'd like to experience?... and if you just go about satisfying others needs could you not be accused of doing that also only to get a shag?"
absolutely not - there's room for everyone and everything on here - I'm not judging it - I'm just providing an answer as to why some guys struggle and some guys dont. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
So if you have repeat meets and get to know more about the person you are a swinger? One off's and you are not a swinger?
What happens if you go to a club and meet a stranger, play together then never see them again, are you a swinger or a shaghunters prey that night?
All too confusing for me
what I was trying to get across (and clearly failed to ) is that its more about attitude than any kind of swinging "rules" or etiquette.
"
I know, I was being naughty, will go slap my own wrists
You are right, the right attitude is a must , but I think peoples idea of the right attitude might be different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I understood what you said... so I ask you this. Is it then wrong for a guy to have an experience he'd like to accomplish, or something specific HE'd like to experience?... and if you just go about satisfying others needs could you not be accused of doing that also only to get a shag?
absolutely not - there's room for everyone and everything on here - I'm not judging it - I'm just providing an answer as to why some guys struggle and some guys dont."
That's cool, wasn't necessarily my view either, just thought it and so aired it |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"
I know, I was being naughty, will go slap my own wrists
You are right, the right attitude is a must , but I think peoples idea of the right attitude might be different."
Abolutely - swingers are as diverse a bunch as any - so you're forced to make some generalisations when faced with a question like this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say that if u aren't prepared to go to a club on your own (I know I am not) that the chat rooms are an ideal place to go. Behave in the same respectfull way that you would at a club or party and people will notice you and include you.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funny the girls never struggle either , must be the drug wearing off. Single guys always get a hard time , you wanna try being a single guy who works shifts , live with a gay friend and cant take meets back to his mates house...then we get creative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely right.....to get what you fancy you gotta get out there and mingle. Single guys pay extra for most clubs but boy its worth it , once you are in the loop...you stay there among friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hi i'm a mature single guy a widowewr in fact and i don't seem to get to meet people i get replies but never any thing comes of it i know i'm mature with a few extra pounds but surely there are people out there who would meet a genuine single guy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has been mentioned a couple of times to me so I have dug it out of the archives.
It's by VIEW a successful single guy who used to be on here.
Not all agree that folks should write guides such as these, as they reckon it's a 'cheat', and single guys will use it to appear to be something they are not.
But it's only a guide...it's up to the guys to sustain it after reading it.
___________________________________
my advice is......
chat in the room and get to know folks
say hi to all ..... and chat away and get to know folks....
dont hit on every couple or fem the sec they come in.....
dont expect sex within 20 mins.... yu might get some but unlikely...
be different..... stand out in someway
there are hundreds of single guys ..... so be different....
have pics ..... and not cock only ..... many dont like cock pics..... and a guy in pants is attractive lol .. trust me I look at em
be uber respectful to ladies..... treat them as such and not pieces of meat....
I watch everyday when lovely ladies on cam and the faceless wankers come in. and hassle them in whispers.. ask to whisper it is polite to do so....
if a lady is 'new' on the site...... dinna pounce like a pack of baying wolves.... welcome her to the site and let her settle in...... ffs, how scary can it be to have 20+ whispers for sex within a few mins of first entering. the room..
go to socials, lunches and meet folks socially....... they are ideal to get to be known ......
I personally dont write to couples/fems asking for meets .....
having been part of a couple on here, its a volume game with some guys.... they hit every new couple/fem wi same mail content, read every profile, digest information..... write message tailored around what couples/fems are looking for ( not what yu want) ....
and if they say no single guys.... ffs dont write to them .....
dont have a chip on yur shoulder as a single guy...... there are couples looking for single guys out there....
I watch one guy every day ....
he says 'hi , then yu have mail x'.....
then moves to next couple and says 'hi, then yu have mail x 'and guess what.... he moves to next couple and says 'hi..... lol .... yu have mail' x gives a desperate impression and disrectful in the extreme ....
.... expect to travel to meet folks.. many guys expect the fems/couples to travel to them... one guy asked mrs view and i to drive to largs from forfar, we had to book a hotel, and he would pop roond for an hour.... 350 miles and hotel cost for us.... and he didna even have a 14inch cock lol ...........
dinna strop if yu dont get a reply...... it goes with the territory..... some will reply others wont.... let it go....
be honest on yur profile.... if yu married, say it ...... folks meet married guys..... again honesty is best policy ....
but most of all........
be nice...
honest.......
respectful to all.......
if yu make a mistake...... apologise
have a laugh......
speak today for a possible meet next week ..... no the next 20 mins cause yu passing the end of the road lol and its yur lunchtime ......
I wish yu well.......... I am a player and I know it and am honest about it .... and this life is great ... when yu go into with your eyes open ......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its all about the click. if your in, your in. It takes time to build up a fan base on here, in my opinion. Some of the couples on here are up themselves. They know who they are. Just read their profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its all about the click. if your in, your in. It takes time to build up a fan base on here, in my opinion. Some of the couples on here are up themselves. They know who they are. Just read their profiles."
There’s always one  the very reason some nice genuine men struggle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no point beating about the bush.say it how it is. When you become a guy then you get an opinion."
Well there’s no chance of me ever becoming a guy, but if I was, then if something wasn’t happening for me, I’d change the way I was doing things, being negative and whinging is a similar trait to denial, sounds like your just trying to lay the blame elsewhere, rather than looking at ways to put it right and make things happen.
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By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago
Charlestown, Cornwall |
"Hi all im a 23 yo guy from the northeast havent been on the site for ages but dont really get any interest from women and couples. Can anyone give me any advice please "
"Do single blokes struggle"
Is the pope catholic?!!. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You say shaghunters as if it is a bad thing.
We are on a sex site that funnily enough is to find people to shag.
What makes people a swinger rather than a shaghunter?
I didnt intend it in a bad way - I've done my fair share of shaghunting in my time
By way of an example, there's a single lady that I meet fairly regularly, and she wants something pretty specific from her meets and its nothing particularly way out. But nevertheless she finds that most guys just dont make the effort to give it to her when she meets them and just end up giving her a fairly vanilla sexual experience - something that she could get anywhere.
Despite the fact that there's seemingly loads of guys on here she really struggles to find guys that are genuinely capable of giving her what she came to a swingers site to find.
The simple fact is that men who are genuinely up for getting to know what others want AND actually coming through delivering the goods are in very short supply on here and experience very high demand a a result."
You could be talking about me as I would agree 100% with what your friend has said.
It's the major reason I can't be bothered to meet new people but play with those I've met already as I know when we meet an exciting and fun time is had by all. |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Hi all im a 23 yo guy from the northeast havent been on the site for ages but dont really get any interest from women and couples. Can anyone give me any advice please "
If you get down to basics its effort put in equates to what you get out.
Start with a good set of pictures. Choose if your going to be blatant or tease with them.
Profile wise think about it. Look at others. don't copy but pen your own that says bits that will draw people to you.
Always be polite and push a little but not heavy at all.
make first messages interesting, tailored to who your mailing and attach a picture. If they deleter then leave it for at least a month or two before mailing again.
But over all be polite and keep your integrity.
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I have been in scene 6 years. I wouldnt say I struggle but I am not playing each and everyweekend. For me I tend to go throught peaks and troughs sometimes I will be really playful other times I won't.
What I will say is definatly get your self and your face known at socials. I know for a fact couples and females do chat and a guy with a good reputation name does get "more fun".
If you are looking for a more instant meet, I find going to a club tends to work more in my favour. If I want a more longer term flirt then play then websites work in my favour.
Each and every person is different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also make sure you read peoples profiles too, not point in wasting time in sending someone a message where their profile says they dont do younger vs older and cant travel |
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