FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > They don't find my man attractive.

They don't find my man attractive.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hopefully my OH doesn't see this post, however it's me (f) that deals with most of the mail on here and arranging meets with people and I'm finding more and more people saying they would be more than happy to play with me, but not my man!

I know most people are on here for the ladies anyway but I think my fella is an attractive guy! He's not conventional by any means, he's got long curly hair and a few tattoo's, but he's handsome with chiseled features, always clean, great arse, slim figure and is WE.

I was just wondering what most people's preferences are with men? I've always preferred the rugged long hair rocker look which my man has but it appears to be putting people off! Unless he is just a bit ugly and I just haven't noticed.

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

People find different things attractive and no one will appeal to all.

Have people actually told you that they are not attracted to the male or are you just assuming that is the case?

We actually find it very rude and disrespectful when we get messages stating they are only interested in one of us. Some people will just try their luck....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You are both very hot xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I come as a couple on here..if he isnt liked then its no go..on to someone that does...nette

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

Sadly that's life as a couple!

When there's four people in the equation it will always be harder to find those that everyone is attracted to - so you have two choices really - be patient and find the right people for you - or take one for 'the team'!

And I'd never recommend the latter!!

*nice pics (of you both!) by the way!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Difficult to comment really when he cant be seen but whats there looks good

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I come as a couple on here..if he isnt liked then its no go..on to someone that does...nette

"
also he is happy to sit out if thats the case..and the same for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

maybe its because you are better looking than your partner, there are a lot of attractive women on here with not so attractive men, they do all right though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"People find different things attractive and no one will appeal to all.

Have people actually told you that they are not attracted to the male or are you just assuming that is the case?

We actually find it very rude and disrespectful when we get messages stating they are only interested in one of us. Some people will just try their luck....

No they've actually said that. I know sometimes you see those couples and thing "how did HE get HER?" But I always thought we were both on a similar scale (1-10) :P

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"Sadly that's life as a couple!

And I'd never recommend the latter!!

*nice pics (of you both!) by the way!

Yes hard enough for two to get together... Four people is a more difficult equation but dies work.

You may find it easier in a club where you can all interact x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a similar thing for us I guess .

I am 20 years older than my wife and although we have loads of fun , it sure as hell isn't down to my good looks !

I do enjoy watching her having fun though , so perhaps it doesn't matter .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It's a similar thing for us I guess .

I am 20 years older than my wife and although we have loads of fun , it sure as hell isn't down to my good looks !

I do enjoy watching her having fun though , so perhaps it doesn't matter .

Yeah it wouldnt be an issue I don't think if we were looking for single guys....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chloe thought your other half was hot. At one point she did ask me why I dont have long hair.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don't seem to have had too much trouble recently? A someone else said is difficult to find 4 compatible people.....clubs is definitely the way to go......remember many men will shag anyone whereas women can be more picky.......maybe one reason?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chloe thought your other half was hot. At one point she did ask me why I dont have long hair.

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By *organ and rob zombieCouple over a year ago

bradford

Rugged is good hun don't worry about it, my hubby used to have really long hair, he's tattooed and sometimes has a beard, but he's gorgeous to me, as I'm sure your oh is, it's personal preferences is all xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Long hair and ink, if only you were closer! But it does seem that being a little bit alternative on here can, to a degree at least, alienate you.

You will always get some idiots that have so little respect that they see no harm in just approaching the female half of a couple we just block and delete. Though to actually insult your other half is laughably shortsighted!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"maybe its because you are better looking than your partner, there are a lot of attractive women on here with not so attractive men, they do all right though."

Yet another sweeping statement,

Not shared by everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"maybe its because you are better looking than your partner, there are a lot of attractive women on here with not so attractive men, they do all right though.

Yet another sweeping statement,

Not shared by everyone.

In my opinion thats is, not everyones, of course.

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By *he Ring WraithMan over a year ago

Bradford

Considering I am not bi or gay and not sexually attracted to men I maybe am not the best to judge

However having seen the two of you on cam in chat you seem pretty well matched. (and you look good together)

Maybe its the aging biker in me that sees the young rugged long haired look as being attractive rather than smooth and not so rugged...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/11/13 12:35:23]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hopefully my OH doesn't see this post, however it's me (f) that deals with most of the mail on here and arranging meets with people and I'm finding more and more people saying they would be more than happy to play with me, but not my man!

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

nope, you arent alone.

V likes men to be rugged with long hair too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You both look great..

But we also get this

Difficult when 4 are looking xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It seems to be the way once you are listed as a couple even if your profile says you dont play apart men,women and couples will try their luck to meet the female half as a single.

We've had it recently with people asking if i can go along as a birthday treat for the husband in an MFF situation but ask for the same thing the other way round and its a "we dont play apart" reply

If whoever wants to meet you dont like your husband then move on to someone who does want you as a couple xx

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

Also there's a lot of people on here looking to play with a single girl. Eve one that's part of a couple they can persuade to play alone...

From what we can see of your pics, go to a club you guys will be playing all night long if you want to

You both look fab I your public pics!

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By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

It's just one of those things. We get told that sometimes, women fancy C but don't fancy M...in fact, willing to bet that it happens far more often than we actually get informed that it's the case!

But it's perfectly natural, everyone's tastes are different, after all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He has a very nice bum aswell lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You shouldn't get upset hun, different folks like different looks. From what I can see he looks good, you make a cute couple.

Candy XX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can really see many pictures of your fella but you look like an attractive couple. Screw them to be honest, I'm sure there are loads of others that would love to play.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You want to try being me Hun xx

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple over a year ago

Brighton

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

I am the same as you - rocker types, real men - not new man wimpish crap.

That said, there is no reason at all why you should expect others to find him attractive. What is and is not attractive is purely personal and always correct, for that person.

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By *renchbambi xWoman over a year ago

Need to know basis

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

I love the 'hippy look' and facial hair too but then I'm a sixties chick and all the guys had long (sometimes curly) hair in those days....Gawwd I sound ancient haha!

Dont give up

and I think he's got a scrumptious bum!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all the nice messages. Better just toughen up and if people don't want us as a pair then they don't get either of us!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

It's a numbers game really - the more people that get to see you, the greater the chance that the permutations will mean that all of you like each other enough to want to play. So then it becomes a case of how you can increase your visibility to the right potential partners.

As other say, there are some chancers, people who'll try to influence things to be as they want, rather than meeting all participants needs. If your profile is really explicit on exactly how you meet and play, the full restrictions, such as only playing as a couple etc, then it may reduce some of that.

Your partner looks how he does, and he doesn't need a makeover to fit in with other people etc: it's about the right people wanting to play with both of you.

I'd probably get out to clubs, so that people can see you both together, chat and get along. You seem decent interesting people, and will be attractive to a lot of others, I'm sure. Realise not everyone can get out to clubs as easily as others, but socials may complement this too.

Consider posting for meets, where you stress it is only for couples etc. You may get more seeing your profile and sparking interest.

Whatever you do, don't compromise on your values or standards.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for all the nice messages. Better just toughen up and if people don't want us as a pair then they don't get either of us!"

Spot on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wouldn't worry about it , you had plenty of meets with people , just be patient

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unsure why people would have this approach, all ill say is keep looking you'll get the right mean eventually

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"People find different things attractive and no one will appeal to all.

Have people actually told you that they are not attracted to the male or are you just assuming that is the case?

We actually find it very rude and disrespectful when we get messages stating they are only interested in one of us. Some people will just try their luck....

No they've actually said that. I know sometimes you see those couples and thing "how did HE get HER?" But I always thought we were both on a similar scale (1-10) :P"

I personally think from what I can see that you both look lovely.

I don't think that people need to say they only find one of your attractive and point out which one of you it is. That is just being mean when a simple 'thanks but we don't feel we are a match' type message would do.

It can be tricky finding couples where there is a 4 way attraction.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Thanks for all the nice messages. Better just toughen up and if people don't want us as a pair then they don't get either of us!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately rating men isn't my thing, but there will definitely be people out there gagging to get a hold of you 2

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yep,

your not here to please us. Stick to your likes and dislikes and the other stuff will take care of itself. What happens with us is we tend to get Lulls in interest where we perhaps think we are doing something wrong and then another spell where we get just what we like and hopefully peeps get what they like out of us. Just persevere. Hey at least you are not 50 somethings like us LOL. Like an old library book we get left on the shelf a bit more nowadays.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

i haven't read the whole thread so if i echo anyone i apologise

but have they said they don't find your fella attractive? because to me someone saying they would meet you alone just sounds to me like they are looking for a single woman and wouldn't want the guy there regardless of looks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's always difficult to tell from pics alone but if we weren't attracted to a couple we wouldn't single out one person as the reason. Think that's unnecessary and selfish of the other couple to do that. It's never happened to us ever. People have either met or rejected us as one package. Having said that we secretly know they're rejecting me (male) as L is gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Same as the other people said, Long hair and Ink. Me and my wife are alternative too, we love the Rock/Metal Lifestyle, it's different and makes us feel like we have some individuality :D. and yeah, if only you were closer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We would meet you but you have us stuck in Jurassic Park corner!

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By *adyGardenWoman over a year ago

LONDON (se)

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

He looks just fine to me. But as I'm a chest hair lover I would put him as hot if had some

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I cant really see what your partner looks like, like people have said, not everyone likes men with long hair.

If they want to meet you enough, then they will probably meet you both together.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well Ive added a couple more picks of him to our public gallery now so maybe it'll save them having to say 'no thanks we don't find male attractive'. They can make their minds up right away now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well Ive added a couple more picks of him to our public gallery now so maybe it'll save them having to say 'no thanks we don't find male attractive'. They can make their minds up right away now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well Ive added a couple more picks of him to our public gallery now so maybe it'll save them having to say 'no thanks we don't find male attractive'. They can make their minds up right away now.

He looks nice, maybe the other man was jealous?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hey Mrs hasn't seen it but as a straight guy I have no issue saying there's nothing wrong with him at all. I think it's a horrible thing to say who is and isn't attractive. Why not just say no thanks?

Looking at you two, we would probably be happy to if you lived closer...like our rocker types

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hey Mrs hasn't seen it but as a straight guy I have no issue saying there's nothing wrong with him at all. I think it's a horrible thing to say who is and isn't attractive. Why not just say no thanks?

Looking at you two, we would probably be happy to if you lived closer...like our rocker types

oh do you now?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Looking at you two, we would probably be happy to if you lived closer...like our rocker types

oh do you now?

This thread is turning into one of tjose annoying ones where we diacover loads of rock/alt types nowhere near us!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Looking at you two, we would probably be happy to if you lived closer...like our rocker types

oh do you now?

This thread is turning into one of tjose annoying ones where we diacover loads of rock/alt types nowhere near us!

its a shit aint it lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

nothing wrong with your fella he looks hot, id love to see him fucking you if that would be allowed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Looking at you two, we would probably be happy to if you lived closer...like our rocker types

oh do you now?

This thread is turning into one of tjose annoying ones where we diacover loads of rock/alt types nowhere near us!

Definitely so! We know one near to us, but not many. She has a weak spot for tattoos and beards lol.

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman over a year ago

essex just looking around

Ive have had browse at your profile and your pictures and verifications .. and I can honestly say ts nowt to do with your other half .. its the shallowness of the people on here trying to tempt you away

I see in the flesh you ve had great times

Try clubs/ socials/ events meet people for real ... realife chemistry can not be matched

I had a terrible time on another site due to people saying i wasnt attractive on cam etc ... however in the flesh people are very shocked at how different i look and actually those ( not so attractive people) start to beg you to play

In a nut shell this is a very very shallow world online... Always do what pleases you and your other half ... meet people for real .. any one that doubts your choice in men is not worthy of your time or attention and actually darn rude to say so... ditch them and find the genuine ones xxxx happy swinging xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

Mmmmmm - quite cute ain't he? Not that that's much help lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Looking at you two, we would probably be happy to if you lived closer...like our rocker types

oh do you now?

This thread is turning into one of tjose annoying ones where we diacover loads of rock/alt types nowhere near us!

Definitely so! We know one near to us, but not many. She has a weak spot for tattoos and beards lol.

just about to go shave mine off for mowvember lol.

just leave it at a mexican mow

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I thought I'd post...I'm bi but I'm being totally objective and would like to say your OH isn't ugly.

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By *ex.IncCouple over a year ago

Castleford

I wouldnt worry personally. Quite often we get little interest as a lot want tall guys and being 5'6 it proves difficult unless I get my flatforms on

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Just a thought but maybe it was the guy of the other couple that had the issue in some cases. Maybe your OH is younger, hotter, better endowed etc.

And sometimes people do just try it on to get a MFF. Single Bi females can be hard to find so they try to persuade the female halves of couples to play separately.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well from what I can see from your public pics, you both look lovely. I would be interested if I bumped into you both at a club. X

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

you seem to both have a great sense of style.

continue with your individuality, good luck to you both.

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By *he Ring WraithMan over a year ago

Bradford

"Well from what I can see from your public pics, you both look lovely. I would be interested if I bumped into you both at a club. X"

Can I watch please ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just a thought but maybe it was the guy of the other couple that had the issue in some cases. Maybe your OH is younger, hotter, better endowed etc.

And sometimes people do just try it on to get a MFF. Single Bi females can be hard to find so they try to persuade the female halves of couples to play separately. "

This. Absolutely this....It's happened to me. As it's mainly myself (mr) who handles the account (though she has access if she wants it) They get promptly told that there is no splitting us.

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By *arnayguyMan over a year ago

Durham Tees

I wouldn't worry about it. He looks fine from what I can see. I do think perhaps the guitar shot and the jacket shot might just not be what appeals to 'some' people. You could take a load of pics, like the bare chested one he took of himself and get the two best to replace those to see if it works. Maybe a nice, erotic one of the two of you. Just a thought. I'd offer to take some of the two of you but I'm too far away. Bet you have plenty of offers though.

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By *nfieldishCouple over a year ago

Enfield

Is that a 5 string bass..?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is that a 5 string bass..?"

That was my first thought too! Though I suspect it wouldn't be what crystal would notice...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have got it alot in the past where they want me (fem) just to entertain the wife and for her husband to join in but mine cant. Think most are just after that fem to fem experience as they cant find a single bi fem. Just my thoughts and probably wrong

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just a thought but maybe it was the guy of the other couple that had the issue in some cases. Maybe your OH is younger, hotter, better endowed etc.

And sometimes people do just try it on to get a MFF. Single Bi females can be hard to find so they try to persuade the female halves of couples to play separately. "

see, i have a problem with this perspective.

there is every chance you are right, but personally, i can look past my own inadequacies in favour of who i think V would be attracted to.

then, obviously she tells me im completely wrong lol, but either way i would never tell someone their husband is unattractive just to boost my own ego, or to get the female on her own.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I wouldn't worry about it. He looks fine from what I can see. I do think perhaps the guitar shot and the jacket shot might just not be what appeals to 'some' people. You could take a load of pics, like the bare chested one he took of himself and get the two best to replace those to see if it works. Maybe a nice, erotic one of the two of you. Just a thought. I'd offer to take some of the two of you but I'm too far away. Bet you have plenty of offers though."

Nah I put them up to show who he is. He's a rock soul, he loves his guitar and his leather, and from all the comments on here I've come to the conclusion that people can like it or lump it :P

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is that a 5 string bass..?

That was my first thought too! Though I suspect it wouldn't be what crystal would notice..."

Yes it is :P

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"....they would be more than happy to play with me, but not my man!"

He's a bassist.

Have you tried dating a singer or lead guitarist?

(Musician joke)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Looking at you two, we would probably be happy to if you lived closer...like our rocker types

oh do you now?

This thread is turning into one of tjose annoying ones where we diacover loads of rock/alt types nowhere near us!

Definitely so! We know one near to us, but not many. She has a weak spot for tattoos and beards lol.

just about to go shave mine off for mowvember lol.

just leave it at a mexican mow"

Yeah the Mr has been doing it too, it's only been a week and he's already starting to look like Ron Burgundy. It's not my thing but I'll put up with it till dec 1st lol x

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By *nfieldishCouple over a year ago

Enfield

Btw... Ur lad looks great..

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Nah I put them up to show who he is. He's a rock soul, he loves his guitar and his leather, and from all the comments on here I've come to the conclusion that people can like it or lump it :P"

I like a man in leather.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"....they would be more than happy to play with me, but not my man!

He's a bassist.

Have you tried dating a singer or lead guitarist?

(Musician joke)"

Well I'm not a musician so I probs not getting it but I'm the one who likes the glory in this band :P

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dont worry about it, ive been told to my face im butt ugly and not goingvto be part of the play session, i do alright and its her loss.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is always someone for someone and pictures don't always do people justice at least that's what we've found, thank god for clubs lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reading profiles and posts, its hard enough finding one person your attracted to, so it would be a miracle if someone found both halves of a couple attractive, it probably wont happen, beauty is in the eye of the beholder..

Usually opposites attract, so if one member of the couple is pretty and femenine, it follows the other half is usually rugged and butch, so opposites, wont have te same attraction to someone.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Just a thought but maybe it was the guy of the other couple that had the issue in some cases. Maybe your OH is younger, hotter, better endowed etc.

And sometimes people do just try it on to get a MFF. Single Bi females can be hard to find so they try to persuade the female halves of couples to play separately.

see, i have a problem with this perspective.

there is every chance you are right, but personally, i can look past my own inadequacies in favour of who i think V would be attracted to.

then, obviously she tells me im completely wrong lol, but either way i would never tell someone their husband is unattractive just to boost my own ego, or to get the female on her own."

Which is why I said "in some cases" and "sometimes". There are, without a doubt, loads of couples here consisting of two well adjusted people who are clear about what they want. There are also some, just as there are some single men and women, who aren't so well adjusted and clear.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

from what i see of your guy in pics..hes hot!! nice body and tatts

if peeps dont fancy both of you i wouldnt worry about it as im sure there are plenty who will.

main thing is yo both here to have fun and u can choose who u meet

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By *izz37Couple over a year ago

stoke on trent

We had a couple telling us after we'd chatted for a bit,were looking to arrange a meet n sent facial pics that facial hair had put them off. Don't quite understand as I don't have any (!!!), obviously they hadn't read our profile!!!! Lizzi

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we had a couple ask, bot so long go, if we were really a couple, because V is so hot, and i am so NOT lol.

V was livid might i add.

dont think its ever been pointed out to her lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is unnecessary and rude to message and say they only find one of you attractive. But at least from that message you get a glimpse of what they are like, so just don't bother replying.

I only have public pictures of me, so when couples message us and we send pics of both of us, it is understandable that they are seeing him for the first time and we all either arrange to meet or we don't. If anyone messaged picking either of us out as being more attractive than the other, I would deem those people as lacking the social skills that we have so I'd know we wouldn't be compatible.

Your man is an attractive and sexy man. you know this, you don't need to bother about the opinions of strangers

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By *aveandkate35Couple over a year ago

telford

Lots of good advice and I know we suffer the same thing.

I (Dave) seem impossible of taking a good photo! That's why we do clubs, which neither of us have any trouble at.

It's amazing how ugly/attractive someone can become when you meet them face to face.

I've said it before but a lot of people we've had amazing times with in clubs have crap profiles and pics on here, hence try and take them with a pinch if salt.

Don't ever settle, this is supposed to be relaxed and fun, if someone doesn't want your other half, move on.

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By *bw48Woman over a year ago

warrington

I had this problem on another site wen I was with my ex people loved watchin us on cam but only wanted to meet me n he wasn't hit by the ugly tree n was very well endowed it was just the way it was we just found people who wud meet both of us x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clearly a case of trying to get you in your own, because your man is lush.

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By *aithlessangelCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

I find both of you extremely attractive, pity about the distance

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fucking hell your both red hot, I would, both if you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/11/13 10:21:44]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is unnecessary and rude to message and say they only find one of you attractive. But at least from that message you get a glimpse of what they are like, so just don't bother replying.

Your man is an attractive and sexy man. you know this, you don't need to bother about the opinions of strangers

Very we'll said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

maybe hes putting blokes off because hes a goodlooking guy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

tell him to lose the jew-fro and a little bit of gym work, he will stay lean cause he looks like an ectomorph but should get a little definition an a little bit more broad in the shoulder so he as a bit of a taper, will make all the difference.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sorry just realized my last message might be a bit blunt/rude, so used to talking to all the gym heads/amature BB's in work that its just routine to critique mens bodies without being polite/sensitive just honest :p

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pffft his hair is awesome, I wish mine was a bit curlier.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pffft his hair is awesome, I wish mine was a bit curlier. "

So do i.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stick to your guns, he's better than 90% of the guys on here!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stick to your guns, he's better than 90% of the guys on here!"

And certainly doesn't need to waste his life at the gym trying to keep an unsustainable body shape.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it happens alot with couples, there's something they aren't into, they want one, but not the other, or ask if you play solo...or I even got, sorry he's really thick but not long enough lol

I've got great advice from the forums, ignore it

yes it stills bothers me sometimes, but I just roll with the punches and keep it moving!

From what I can see you both look like a sexy couple!

Luck to ya

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

You don't say if he's bi or if your just looking for another couple

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Profile says straight.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just hope that this won't result in you feeling like you can do better, and him feeling unworthy.

I'd imagine that the probability of each partner being attracted to the opposite would be less than 25%. So this can't be unusual.

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By *GR2014Man over a year ago

England

Having read your profiles and seen your pics, I can find very little wrong with either of you (coming from a straight guy)

If I seem you both in a club I'd notice you both and think

As far as I'm concerned it a two way street if you can't get respect and give respect to both the M & F in the couple and want the package,, the people ain't worth shit.

I had this a a while back me and my then partner was messaging a couple and they liked my pics but not hers hence we didn't play.

As far as I'm concerned if someone likes me but not the person I'm with (its an insult) maybe if they took the time to get to know us as people then said thanks but no thanks over a friendly drink meet then I'd accept that.

If your swinging in my book (not that I'm a expert by far) I'd prefer to be known as a sexy couple than a hot individual as I'm a person who wants my partner to be as happy as I am?

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By *oung-dreamCouple over a year ago

nottingham

I have noticed I am very picky when it comes to meeting men on here wether they are part of a couple or a single male, I think the reason is that there is so much choice when it comes to men but not much when it comes to women. Whenever we have met couples it has always been attractive women but not so much men and I always feel like I've pulled the short straw. Like ladies can dress up sexy nice make up etc... But when it comes to men it's just all about how they look and how big their cock is for me! I have yet to find a couple where I feel they are equal it seems like if they are both good looking then the male will have a smaller cock and I like big boys lol x

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By *hat is in a nameCouple over a year ago

Colchester

Eclectic looking couples like yourselves are always very attractive to us. Our profile name says it all; we are not your typical looking couple, we are very much into an alt lifestyle and look. We much prefer to be like this, and via this look we are true to ourselves. As it happens you have limited winks and messages to those of your age range who would generally (major generalisation here we realise) be of more of a 'normal' look. Stay true to yourselves and by the way we think you both look gorgeous!

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By *hat is in a nameCouple over a year ago

Colchester

[Removed by poster at 09/11/13 14:03:10]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd fuck him x he's rather handsome xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd fuck him x he's rather handsome xx"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stick to your guns, he's better than 90% of the guys on here!

And certainly doesn't need to waste his life at the gym trying to keep an unsustainable body shape."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

Just had a sneaky peek, he is gorgeous can't imagine why anyone would say know, love rock star hair and tattoos xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know I am on the older scale, but i think your Man is very sexy, I love guys with a rugged look.

As for saying other women don't like him, I have been in that same situation myself when i was with someone and will still probably still get it now I have moved on. One couple even confessed to me after the meet that she had taken one for the team because she wanted to keep hubby happy. THAT is a big NO NO and i wished i had known at the time because nothing would have happened. And it still plays on my mind now when i do meet couples.

I don't think that you have anything to worry about, you have some fantastic drop dead sexy photos so if the woman is saying no and the man is saying yes then they are not worth the time of day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

Three veri's in a month so not so unattractive hey. I would not mind being that unattractive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And certainly doesn't need to waste his life at the gym trying to keep an unsustainable body shape."

If by waste your life you mean less than 3 hours a week, and by unsustainable you mean healthy sure.

it also has a host of mental benefits, from increased mood, to increased confidence and libido. our bodies are not suited to the sedentary lives we now lead (especially mens bodies).

he doesn't even need that much work as he doesn't have any size atm make a lot of newbie gains very fast. we're not talking about turning him into some GQ model, just adding a bit of bulk to the lats chest an shoulders will taper him out to his naturally thin wist and give him a much better basic look.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A much better basic look? In who's eyes? I don't know what sort of men you find attractive but I'd prefer a natural shape any day, naturally powerful or naturally slender. Anything else really is just a lie.

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By *GR2014Man over a year ago

England

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH.

Three veri's in a month so not so unattractive hey. I would not mind being that unattractive.

Based on the couples good looks and well written profile I can't help but think its a very positive tactic to get profile _iews & hopefully from there point of _iew more & good luck to you both! (and who can blame them)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

that is the natural shape of an active ma, it's the way our muscles develop to allow us to do work efficiently

the way her is now very little improvement to the lats/shoulders will yield great results, he's not going to become he man or become shredded it'll just be closer to the "typical" male frame.

plus it will help him look better in the suit which is always a good look.

ad one great thing about a lightly bigger chest is t lets you hide a bit more fat around the belly without it being so obvious so you can indulge a lot more in ice cream or other sweety goodness.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

by basic look i mean is frame/general body look.

otherwise you're getting into the more complicated areas of definition, symmetry specific muscle groups etc. which is completely unnecessary and wont make a difference at this stage.

heck stronglifts 5x5 run through that program would have him set up pretty much perfect and is a great intro to lifting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Really all that crap for a swingers site? You best get on to all the women size 14 and above and tell them to lose a few pounds.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

she asked i gave some very basic advice that i thought would improve his look/health.

Like i say im used to talking about this stuff with guys who do it for competitions/as a hobby so i'm used to just being honest.

why would i want to do that? it's not up to me what people want to be fat or thin and i have no issue with it.

not sure why you seem to think it's some massive commitment to go to the gym, e 45 minute work outs a week is more than enough for most people if done properly and is massively beneficial to health especially the heart.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm sorry that i seem to have offended you in some way, i suppose I'll leave this thread to others then x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sorry that i seem to have offended you in some way, i suppose I'll leave this thread to others then x"

Everything you have said it spot on ....

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I'm sorry that i seem to have offended you in some way, i suppose I'll leave this thread to others then x"

Your comments imply the guy isn't healthy now and leads a sedentary lifestyle! You have absolutely no way of knowing that and it's pretty rude.

You may have given good advice, although given the huge assumptions you have made, possibly not, but it wasn't asked for. For that reason it's offensive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sorry that i seem to have offended you in some way, i suppose I'll leave this thread to others then x

Your comments imply the guy isn't healthy now and leads a sedentary lifestyle! You have absolutely no way of knowing that and it's pretty rude.

You may have given good advice, although given the huge assumptions you have made, possibly not, but it wasn't asked for. For that reason it's offensive."

I never said he was unhealthy i said the gym has benefits beyond simple looks after the other person seemed to think that it was "wasting time" in the gym.

i was simply pointing out that a bit of upper body work would improve his look quickly with not much effort, nothing about his health.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If not a waste of time then certainly a waste of money. If someone was that worried about there cardio-vascular function then for the cost of a pair of trainers they could go for a brisk walk.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Plus the fact that theres nothing wrong with his look.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we are here just for fun - if someone doesnt like one of us we say their loss - and move on - end of

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I'm sorry that i seem to have offended you in some way, i suppose I'll leave this thread to others then x

Your comments imply the guy isn't healthy now and leads a sedentary lifestyle! You have absolutely no way of knowing that and it's pretty rude.

You may have given good advice, although given the huge assumptions you have made, possibly not, but it wasn't asked for. For that reason it's offensive.

I never said he was unhealthy i said the gym has benefits beyond simple looks after the other person seemed to think that it was "wasting time" in the gym.

i was simply pointing out that a bit of upper body work would improve his look quickly with not much effort, nothing about his health."

You need to re-read your posts. You said quite a bit about health.

For example, you stated that the changes you suggested would lead to a healthy shape rather than an unsustainable shape. That suggests the man in question isn't healthy now. You also said the shape you believe he should be in is the natural shape of an active man. Since he's not that shape you are effectively stating he isn't active. That may not be what you meant but it is what you said.

The bottom line is the OP asked if others think her man is attractive. She didn't ask for advice to help him change. She didn't suggest he needs to be more attractive. She seems rather happy with him as he is.

As far as I can see, she has no desire for him to change. You may think he'd look better with some gym work but, frankly, you aren't dating the guy!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the health comments ere more relating to the opinion that the gym was just some vanity thing it does have excellent health benefits for pretty much everyone.

like i said though I'm used to discussing this topic with people who see changing their body shape as no different to renovating their house. which in reality it really isn't that much different from.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"the health comments ere more relating to the opinion that the gym was just somevanity thing it does have excellent health benefits for pretty much everyone.

It doesn't change the fact not everyone wants to change their body shape and advice on how to do so wasn't requested here.

Plus plenty of people are healthy, and some athletic even, without using a gym at all. Without knowing more about the OP's man and his fitness and activity level you can't say the gym would benefit his health. Gaining muscle doesn't necessarily give health benefits and as far as you know the OP's partner could be a long distance runner or something, with the fitness level of an Olympic athlete!

Not everyone cares about being broad, toned or defined.

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By *igSuki81Man over a year ago

Retirement Village

I mean, it's nice to know people fancy me, but it's never nice hearing someone likes you but not your OH."

I like you OH

His tattoos at least

they look brilliant & i'm a tad jealous

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"the health comments ere more relating to the opinion that the gym was just somevanity thing it does have excellent health benefits for pretty much everyone.

It doesn't change the fact not everyone wants to change their body shape and advice on how to do so wasn't requested here.

Not everyone cares about being broad, toned or defined."

This.

It makes me laugh that someone can be so self absorbed that they assume that everyone seeks their own interpretation of a good body

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

U both look good from wat i can see x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think your man looks yummy. Shame your so far away

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

lol one thing is women dont prefer lads with a 6-pack and a big ego like mine, I alwais represent myself in a handsome fasion lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd fuck him x he's rather handsome xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He looks good to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He's a bassist so will fuck like a train if he's like me. You'll be fine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For heavens sake ... its clear the guy wasnt being like that ...why pick on him for the sake of it, give it a rest......he was only trying to be helpful not one word was written with disdain unlike some of the arsey responses.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi there is nothing wrong with him , I feel to ugly for this site my self , I'm a person that needs a connection in personality to be fair ,so it makes it hard over a picture. mind is the best sexual tool you have ! Mines a crazy mind but my look says boring ,but I'm far from that ! If you fancy your partner doesn't matter to anyone else x

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"For heavens sake ... its clear the guy wasnt being like that ...why pick on him for the sake of it, give it a rest......he was only trying to be helpful not one word was written with disdain unlike some of the arsey responses."

You clearly see his comments in a different way to me. I'm not disagreeing with him "for the sake of it", but because I think his comments are inappropriate for this thread. This isn't a fitness forum, not everyone wants to be defined and nobody asked for advice on changing their body.

You're entitled to your _iew, and to stick up for the gym enthusiast but my _iew is that there's absolutely nothing wrong with how the OP's man looks and it's rude to tell him to change, especially to suit the preference of a guy he doesn't even know and will likely never meet!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You both look great. We have had this situation too. We just reply with a no thanks and move on. There a loads of great people on this site all over the country... Perhaps a fabfest of rock could be in order? Or a hippyfabfest of love? Either way Count us in!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is not what you said but the way you put it across....the guy obviously meant well but was jumped on.....no need.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

It is not what you said but the way you put it across....the guy obviously meant well but was jumped on.....no need."

I could say the same for him. He even acknowledged his first post was rude and blunt and then carried on in the same way! If he'd said if you want to change try... that would have been fine but to start by telling him what he needs to do and what he should do, well there's no need for that.

Maybe those of us disagreeing mean well too and are concerned for the feelings of the OP.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's a similar thing for us I guess .

I am 20 years older than my wife and although we have loads of fun , it sure as hell isn't down to my good looks !

I do enjoy watching her having fun though , so perhaps it doesn't matter .

Well said that Man ...Gary

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Perhaps a fabfest of rock could be in order? Or a hippyfabfest of love? Either way Count us in!"

What an excellent idea.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

he looks good to me from what i can see

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is not what you said but the way you put it across....the guy obviously meant well but was jumped on.....no need.

Maybe those of us disagreeing mean well too and are concerned for the feelings of the OP. "

Of course you are.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is not what you said but the way you put it across....the guy obviously meant well but was jumped on.....no need.

Maybe those of us disagreeing mean well too and are concerned for the feelings of the OP. "

The advise waa rude/blunt as acknowledged by the poster. And to me was as irrelevant as me posting lose the curly hair and get a decent quiff. And as rude and insensitive as telling someone who is overweight to lose some weight as a way of getting more success

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I bow to your wisdom

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Maybe those of us disagreeing mean well too and are concerned for the feelings of the OP.

Of course you are."

You no more know my motivation than you do that of Mr Gym Enthusiast. You can think what you want though. If there is no need for bluntness when disagreeing with the posts then there was no need for the rude, blunt posts in the first place. Particularly as they weren't asked for and don't answer the question asked in the OP.

If you really think it's ok to wade in and bluntly tell someone how they should improve themselves, and to suggest they aren't healthy, without having been asked for advice, we'll have to agree to differ.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you both look great, but not everyone will. Some will like her, some will like him, some might even not like either of you...just focus on the ones that like you both and you'll have plenty of fun! As for someone saying they won't meet because of hubby's hair then they've done you a favour and stopped you wasting anymore of each others time so you can look for couples who like you as you are...and from the sound of this profile there are plenty that do!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Maybe those of us disagreeing mean well too and are concerned for the feelings of the OP.

Of course you are.

I was agreeing with you....cant win huh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you both look fabulously hot in your public pics

Go out to parties / events / clubs, socialise & have fun....I'm sure there lots of parties catering for fit couples like you where you live.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

oh btw absolutely luvre the purple dress you're wearing in one of the pics!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You both look great x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He get the thumbs up from me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh btw absolutely luvre the purple dress you're wearing in one of the pics!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thumbs up from me too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/11/13 13:01:02]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"that is the natural shape of an active ma, it's the way our muscles develop to allow us to do work efficiently

the way her is now very little improvement to the lats/shoulders will yield great results, he's not going to become he man or become shredded it'll just be closer to the "typical" male frame.

plus it will help him look better in the suit which is always a good look.

ad one great thing about a lightly bigger chest is t lets you hide a bit more fat around the belly without it being so obvious so you can indulge a lot more in ice cream or other sweety goodness."

Just keep digging. Go on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

He's not being rude, just a little insensitive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I (S) think you're super-hot and I know my lovely lady would be all over your fella as she loves guys with long hair and tats!

You both seem really cool and you've got great pics. You just have to stay chilled and keep in mind there are some real arseholes on here who will try it on and because they can do so fairly anonymously, they say any old crap that they wouldn't dare say to your face.

Its horses for courses and as some have said, with four people involved, it can be a more difficult to get everyone matched up. We've met couples socially and never met them again as we didn't like one or other of them in person and I'm sure its been the same in reverse as well.

Basically, you're both hot and hope you carry on having an great time!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You both look hot to us

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