FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Unable to accommodate
Unable to accommodate
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
After receiving some profile advice and sorting it out, rearranging my pictures and sending what I believe are original messages, I figured I'd ask as I think this is what's letting me down.
How much of an issue is it for a single male to be unable to accommodate? Would you overlook it if the profile and messages are ok or would it be a stumbling block regardless.
I don't expect to be hosted, as I'm perfectly fine with a social or a hotel meet, although I'd be lieing if I didn't say I'd prefer the comfort of someone's home and the relaxed but confident nature that would accompany it. A few of you might suggest clubs and it's something I'm looking into, I've asked a few of the people I talk to about where they go and I've had a mixed bag about the local ones. I'm in no rush to find the right people to play with, it's just a little disheartening to not get replies when you do make a little effort.
I guess my inexperience and possibly my age will deter a few but surely that's catch 22? Can anyone spot any glaringly obvious things I'm overlooking or do I really need to be able to host? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Put something in your profile explaining (briefly) why you can't accom and that you are happy to go to clubs and hotels.
Some willmake the assumption that you are married/attached (perhaps you are) but it will make things easier with those who are happy to Meet you - some prefer attached, others won't meet attached at all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
After just reading my profile over again I realised i had accidentally omitted that part from my latest rework. Will get straight on it.
Is there anything else you can see that I've buggered up? Hah |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Single blokes who cant/wont accomodate are automatically _iewed as married regardless of the actual reason. So if you cant/accomodate you are limiting your chances to people who dont mind meeting married folk whether youre married or not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I guess people do make their own assumptions up but not everyone surely?
I'm aware it's not ideal but its not something I can control unfortunately.
Thanks for the opinions  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You cant please all the people.
Having the best profile ever seen, will still not guarantee you meets.
It's your profile, and I'd rather it reflected you, was written by you and not by forum consensus. (or says what you think everyone wants it to say)
Be yourself, be honest and network, socials, clubs and anything else that comes your way. Give it patience and effort. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Single blokes who cant/wont accomodate are automatically _iewed as married regardless of the actual reason. So if you cant/accomodate you are limiting your chances to people who dont mind meeting married folk whether youre married or not."
you say in spite of the 'actual' reason, but you dont know wht the actual reason is.
the actual reason could well be that the OP is married (not saying you are OP, just being devils advocate).
there have been many excuses used over time here, so its up to other people to make their minds up based on what they see and nothing more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Single blokes who cant/wont accomodate are automatically _iewed as married regardless of the actual reason. So if you cant/accomodate you are limiting your chances to people who dont mind meeting married folk whether youre married or not.
you say in spite of the 'actual' reason, but you dont know wht the actual reason is.
the actual reason could well be that the OP is married (not saying you are OP, just being devils advocate).
there have been many excuses used over time here, so its up to other people to make their minds up based on what they see and nothing more."
Thats what im saying, it doesnt matter what the reason is he will be seen as married. A guy maybe cant accomodate because hes a single dad or he still lives with parents. Whatever the reason is Id say most folk will _iew a guy as married and therefore to most he will be a no no. Its no coincidence that most guys who are "succesful" on here can accomodate |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Single guys must have a reputation a lot worse than I actually thought heh.
I do have a few people I talk to but I think that's mostly just because of the conversation than actually wanting to meet. There's a few really nice guys that got in touch and even though they know there's no chance, they're still worth talking to. Maybe I got lucky there as I don't really get crappy one liners from them.
Are we doomed to be judged as guilty until proven innocent these days then?
Single guys and socials is not something I've seen much of in my area if I'm honest. Lots of couple only ones but I'll definitely keep my eyes open.
Thanks again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You cant please all the people.
Having the best profile ever seen, will still not guarantee you meets.
It's your profile, and I'd rather it reflected you, was written by you and not by forum consensus. (or says what you think everyone wants it to say)
Be yourself, be honest and network, socials, clubs and anything else that comes your way. Give it patience and effort. "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Should we foot the bill or is sharing it more modern?"
Just mentioned this on another thread....when people have come local to us and stayed over they pick the room up. If we go to them we do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just mentioned this on another thread....when people have come local to us and stayed over they pick the room up. If we go to them we do. "
Would it be fair to assume that if you were both local that sharing would be the option or would I be expected to cop for it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Single blokes who cant/wont accomodate are automatically _iewed as married regardless of the actual reason. So if you cant/accomodate you are limiting your chances to people who dont mind meeting married folk whether youre married or not."
I don't automatically assume they are married |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Single blokes who cant/wont accomodate are automatically _iewed as married regardless of the actual reason. So if you cant/accomodate you are limiting your chances to people who dont mind meeting married folk whether youre married or not.
you say in spite of the 'actual' reason, but you dont know wht the actual reason is.
the actual reason could well be that the OP is married (not saying you are OP, just being devils advocate).
there have been many excuses used over time here, so its up to other people to make their minds up based on what they see and nothing more.
Thats what im saying, it doesnt matter what the reason is he will be seen as married. A guy maybe cant accomodate because hes a single dad or he still lives with parents. Whatever the reason is Id say most folk will _iew a guy as married and therefore to most he will be a no no. Its no coincidence that most guys who are "succesful" on here can accomodate"
I can't accommodate !
Should I look into getting married again or just carry on as I am?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Single guys must have a reputation a lot worse than I actually thought heh.
I do have a few people I talk to but I think that's mostly just because of the conversation than actually wanting to meet. There's a few really nice guys that got in touch and even though they know there's no chance, they're still worth talking to. Maybe I got lucky there as I don't really get crappy one liners from them.
Are we doomed to be judged as guilty until proven innocent these days then?
I you've put gang bangs in your likes, try a few of them, either in hotels or private houses. It's a good way of getting to meet people, I've hosted lots and quite a lot of the people I've met have become good friends.
Single guys and socials is not something I've seen much of in my area if I'm honest. Lots of couple only ones but I'll definitely keep my eyes open.
Thanks again "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just mentioned this on another thread....when people have come local to us and stayed over they pick the room up. If we go to them we do.
Would it be fair to assume that if you were both local that sharing would be the option or would I be expected to cop for it?"
That is a discussion to be had. However (and being brutally honest) there are a lot of single men looking for meets so do the math. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
That would seem an awful lot like paying for sex to me. It's a 2 way game so I guess in my eyes it would be right to share but I see your point and I can also see how a few others might see it too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That would seem an awful lot like paying for sex to me. It's a 2 way game so I guess in my eyes it would be right to share but I see your point and I can also see how a few others might see it too"
It is very different. Bear in mind that a single guy going to a club would be paying a similar amount with no guarantee of any action.
And also this would be a 'real' experience.
It is just something agreed between people, if it doesn't suit there would be no expectation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
with a hotel thing, we have always gone with the 'however is staying pays for the room'.
if we are planning on staying in the hotel, then we will pay and invite people to join us there.
if the other party is planning on staying the night, then really, its just a base for play to us, and so wouldnt expect to be 'charged' for the pleasure.
however, if its a mutually organised thing, where the room is purely to be used for meeting then going our separate ways, then shared costs really is the thing to agree on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Put something in your profile explaining (briefly) why you can't accom and that you are happy to go to clubs and hotels.
Some willmake the assumption that you are married/attached (perhaps you are) but it will make things easier with those who are happy to Meet you - some prefer attached, others won't meet attached at all."
i am not putting on my profile cant acc beacuse i still live with my mum :P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"with a hotel thing, we have always gone with the 'however is staying pays for the room'.
if we are planning on staying in the hotel, then we will pay and invite people to join us there.
if the other party is planning on staying the night, then really, its just a base for play to us, and so wouldnt expect to be 'charged' for the pleasure.
however, if its a mutually organised thing, where the room is purely to be used for meeting then going our separate ways, then shared costs really is the thing to agree on"
Exactly the same for us, only seems fair!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I see the reasoning behind whoever is staying pays as they would be paying anyway and you'd feel charged. I definitely agree on a mutual agreement being split but I can also see why it wouldn't be.
You guys have really helped. So thanks. Here's to hoping that this is the findl hurdle. If I could accom do you think my profile and pics would do the rest with a well constructed message? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
.