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Low on confidence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi. I've been back on here for a few months and my confidence is feeling rather low and its getting me down 
I am trying my best on here but its just so damn difficult. I can't get anything right on here whether its first messages or sorting out meets.
I really need some helpful advice here guys |
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I wouldn't let this knock your confidence. There are loads of men compared to women on here and I hear it is very difficult for single guys to get meets however attractive they are. Keep looking and I'm sure you will find one  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You're right there as it is extremely difficult. I don't even know where the faults lie with me. I'm not sure if its my profile, my photos, my first messages. I haven't got a clue of what I'm doing |
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Your profile seems fine to me and you have been verified. Your not the type of guy I would go for but I'm sure there are plenty of girls that would be interested. Don't feel sorry for yourself though as there are a lot of guys on this site in the same position as you. In fact a lot of couples have difficulty finding people too so your not on your own |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"Hi. I've been back on here for a few months and my confidence is feeling rather low and its getting me down
I am trying my best on here but its just so damn difficult. I can't get anything right on here whether its first messages or sorting out meets.
I really need some helpful advice here guys "
are u serious ??
u are letting a 2 bob site on a computer get you that down, then as as above has said this is really not the place for u.
it can affect your confidence if u let it but you have to remember its not real life on here. you will probably have more luck at your local pub to find sex than on here its not easy and it takes patience if u find yourself getting down then u are taking it way to serious  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi. I've been back on here for a few months and my confidence is feeling rather low and its getting me down
I am trying my best on here but its just so damn difficult. I can't get anything right on here whether its first messages or sorting out meets.
I really need some helpful advice here guys are u serious ??
u are letting a 2 bob site on a computer get you that down, then as as above has said this is really not the place for u.
it can affect your confidence if u let it but you have to remember its not real life on here. you will probably have more luck at your local pub to find sex than on here its not easy and it takes patience if u find yourself getting down then u are taking it way to serious "
You need mental fortitude to be a fella on here. This is good advice. Life's hard enough as it is. |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"Thanks for the advice LittleBitOfFun.
Yam123, if I could go out at night, I would but I never have the time or money to do so."
then how do u expect to meet anyone on here? you may have to meet socially first thats not free.
u cant accom so a hotel and thats not free last time i looked, and both take up your time, which u also say u dont have.
so u be shit out of luck on here my friend, as the ladies are not gonna be looking for you, you have to put some effort in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the advice LittleBitOfFun.
Yam123, if I could go out at night, I would but I never have the time or money to do so. then how do u expect to meet anyone on here? you may have to meet socially first thats not free.
u cant accom so a hotel and thats not free last time i looked, and both take up your time, which u also say u dont have.
so u be shit out of luck on here my friend, as the ladies are not gonna be looking for you, you have to put some effort in "
As brutal as this advice it, it is also spot on.
OP, this site doesn't offer a quick fix and it certainly isn't easy. You may need to re-assess what your expectations are. |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"Thanks for the advice LittleBitOfFun.
Yam123, if I could go out at night, I would but I never have the time or money to do so. then how do u expect to meet anyone on here? you may have to meet socially first thats not free.
u cant accom so a hotel and thats not free last time i looked, and both take up your time, which u also say u dont have.
so u be shit out of luck on here my friend, as the ladies are not gonna be looking for you, you have to put some effort in
As brutal as this advice it, it is also spot on.
OP, this site doesn't offer a quick fix and it certainly isn't easy. You may need to re-assess what your expectations are."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does anyone think this is good for a first message or does it sound shit?
"Hello there (female username). I'm (my first name). How are you this evening?
I like your profile and would like to get to know you.
Check out my profile sometime and if you like what you see, feel free to reply" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone think this is good for a first message or does it sound shit?
"Hello there (female username). I'm (my first name). How are you this evening?
I like your profile and would like to get to know you.
Check out my profile sometime and if you like what you see, feel free to reply""
Cut and paste generic messages don't get results. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does anyone think this is good for a first message or does it sound shit?
"Hello there (female username). I'm (my first name). How are you this evening?
I like your profile and would like to get to know you.
Check out my profile sometime and if you like what you see, feel free to reply"
Cut and paste generic messages don't get results."
I would come up with something original but due to my accursed autism, I can't think of anything to say. |
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"I usually thought accom means staying at a hotel or at someone's house."
At your age I would not assume you are married , probably shared house or at home with parents still?
As someone already said, swinging isn't about getting a quick free fuck in the afternoon. I like to be taken for a nice meal and a few drinks before I am going to allow anyone back to my house! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dude, you have to face it, there are a hell of a lot of single guys on here. Some women and couples get dozens of messages a day. Some delete without even reading. You can put a load of effort writing a fantastic first message and it will get deleted as they're simply not interested, or cos they can't be arsed reading and other different reasons.I've had a lot of rejection too. But just keep on trucking fella. The only advice I would give is be yourself and when you are messaging someone, try and make it sound confident. If you message someone thinking you're gonna fail straight away, that might come out in the message and put that person off.
Keep ya chin up mate. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dude, you have to face it, there are a hell of a lot of single guys on here. Some women and couples get dozens of messages a day. Some delete without even reading. You can put a load of effort writing a fantastic first message and it will get deleted as they're simply not interested, or cos they can't be arsed reading and other different reasons.I've had a lot of rejection too. But just keep on trucking fella. The only advice I would give is be yourself and when you are messaging someone, try and make it sound confident. If you message someone thinking you're gonna fail straight away, that might come out in the message and put that person off.
Keep ya chin up mate. "
Thanks adamrocks666 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This isn't what you want to hear but a lot of blokes that aren't successful with women in the real world sign up to this site thinking that it is the solution to all their problems. The reality is most of the men that do well on here most likely do well in the real world. If anything, for the vast majority of single men this site is probably harder than the real world when it comes to meeting people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This isn't what you want to hear but a lot of blokes that aren't successful with women in the real world sign up to this site thinking that it is the solution to all their problems. The reality is most of the men that do well on here most likely do well in the real world. If anything, for the vast majority of single men this site is probably harder than the real world when it comes to meeting people."
Agree with a lot of this. However it's easier for me to sell myself behind a laptop or phone, than being a sweaty nervous, stuttering wreck when chatting up a girl at the pub etc. Sites like this and dating sites actually built up my confidence again as it gave me that opportunity to talk and flirt without any pressure. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is not some trolling wind up. I'm just looking for some advice.
Can I just ask what does accommodate mean guys? at your house  "
Ah ok. Now I understand what it means. I would be change it to can accommodate but with my dad now retired and being home 24 hours a day, my house is out of the question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you're just looking for a multitude of 1 night stands and a quick bunk up but dont have the confidence to go out and meet people in the real world, then i suggest pof is the place for you. Even tho this place is for that, the people on here know what they want and the ladies here have a lot to choose from so you just have to be patient and you will get some meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With living with parents you can not accom but can travel ,
Maybe put on profile that you meet daytimes only if not mentioned already sorry not read your profile
Keep your chin up , and keep on going, it will happen someday ,
We have problems and we are a couple but, that down to his sexuality we supose but we can't let it get us down is just what some couples females prefere each has there own prefrence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah. I guess I must be patient and I will get somewhere. All this moping about and being miserable isn't getting me everywhere. I'm just gonna have to get my brain my getting and keep looking and not stop. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Does anyone think this is good for a first message or does it sound shit?
"Hello there (female username). I'm (my first name). How are you this evening?
I like your profile and would like to get to know you.
Check out my profile sometime and if you like what you see, feel free to reply"
Cut and paste generic messages don't get results.
I would come up with something original but due to my accursed autism, I can't think of anything to say."
That mail seems fine to me, it is short and straight to the point.
Not everyone will think the same so go with what is right for you
To your OP....that would be the thing that would put me off, I like confident positive men.
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Yeah. I guess I must be patient and I will get somewhere. All this moping about and being miserable isn't getting me everywhere. I'm just gonna have to get my brain my getting and keep looking and not stop."
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does anyone think this is good for a first message or does it sound shit?
"Hello there (female username). I'm (my first name). How are you this evening?
I like your profile and would like to get to know you.
Check out my profile sometime and if you like what you see, feel free to reply"
Cut and paste generic messages don't get results.
I would come up with something original but due to my accursed autism, I can't think of anything to say.
That mail seems fine to me, it is short and straight to the point.
Not everyone will think the same so go with what is right for you
To your OP....that would be the thing that would put me off, I like confident positive men.
"
Thanks. Luckily I never mention my autism. |
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"Does anyone think this is good for a first message or does it sound shit?
"Hello there (female username). I'm (my first name). How are you this evening?
I like your profile and would like to get to know you.
Check out my profile sometime and if you like what you see, feel free to reply"
Cut and paste generic messages don't get results.
I would come up with something original but due to my accursed autism, I can't think of anything to say."
Hey don't let your autism hold you back, but did you write your profile or is it someone elses?
It sounds more like you do not understand a lot about swinging, maybe join in with the forum more and get to know people that way? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Does anyone think this is good for a first message or does it sound shit?
"Hello there (female username). I'm (my first name). How are you this evening?
I like your profile and would like to get to know you.
Check out my profile sometime and if you like what you see, feel free to reply"
Cut and paste generic messages don't get results.
I would come up with something original but due to my accursed autism, I can't think of anything to say.
Hey don't let your autism hold you back, but did you write your profile or is it someone elses?
It sounds more like you do not understand a lot about swinging, maybe join in with the forum more and get to know people that way?"
I did write my profile as it was all I could come up with at the time. |
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"Hi. I've been back on here for a few months and my confidence is feeling rather low and its getting me down
I am trying my best on here but its just so damn difficult. I can't get anything right on here whether its first messages or sorting out meets.
I really need some helpful advice here guys "
You have a clear face shot: you're a nice looking young man, but as you've found that's not enough.
You're also seeking ff couples and single women, the two smallest groups on here. When you joined up, what was your expectations? Are you honestly being realistic.
The reality is this site is not here to boost your confidence I'm afraid, you have to bring that and not use this site as the sole route for finding playmates.
Finally, women like confident men, defeatist, maudlin men aren't fun or sexy.
Good luck. |
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"Thanks for the advice LittleBitOfFun.
Yam123, if I could go out at night, I would but I never have the time or money to do so. then how do u expect to meet anyone on here? you may have to meet socially first thats not free.
u cant accom so a hotel and thats not free last time i looked, and both take up your time, which u also say u dont have.
so u be shit out of luck on here my friend, as the ladies are not gonna be looking for you, you have to put some effort in "
Ouch! But true! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Rugby Does MFM, I have noticed that the message I use does get some results. I have had some replies from people I have mailed. Some say yes and some say no which I don't mind. Sure my messages may get deleted but as long as I'm getting replies, that's good isn't it? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
It sure is as most people complain on here that they don't even get replies.
Now that post sounded much more positive, and being postitive should get results as negativity isn't attractive for lots of us.
Good luck anyway and keep posting
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It sure is as most people complain on here that they don't even get replies.
Now that post sounded much more positive, and being postitive should get results as negativity isn't attractive for lots of us.
Good luck anyway and keep posting
"
Thanks. I do feel a lot better than I did earlier and I am feeling more positive. Thanks so much guys for all your helpful advice.
Wish me luck |
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