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"stalker" question (part 2)

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By *andF_fun OP   Couple  over a year ago

Philly PA area

sorry, but we're still under this a year, still learning, and this is kinda long.

ok, i am definitly NOT the most social person out there, but reaching deep down and trying very hard to where mingling becomes easier each time.

Party #2

We were all having a great time, sitting on the couches in a large circle of about 15 people. other half of the room was a large socaial gathering with about 40 people.

All of us in the circle started playing truth or dare. Just so happens i ended up participating in 3 events back to back. The fun and laughter of the group make everyone else in the room stop and look, and watch.

The one dare was for me to be in just my panties, so, i played along. I ended up putting back on my top (longer to be a mini dress too), and left the pants off. When my turn was done, i sat on a couch w/ my husband and another couple. The man from the other couple softly rubbed my legs, and wanted a kiss, i gave him a short peck, nothing much, and even pulled my legs back abit to subtly give the "not intrested" hint. Then his wife started playing w/ my hair saying how nice it was, and thick. I simply said thank you, told my husband i needed some air, needed to go outside for a minute. He gave me my pants and i got dressed, and we went outside.

Came back in about 10 minutes later, used the hallway restroom, then while others were waiting in the hallway, i took my husbands hand and went into the bedroom with him.

Started kissing him, then opened his pants w/ him laying on the bed, started sucking him. (note, we were alone in the bedroom, but others gathered outside the door, no moaning or anything from us).

The couple that we "left" on the couch ended up finding us in the room, she told her husband "looks like this is the blow job room. go get your cock sucked". I pretended not to notice and kept w/ my husband. then the guy sat / layed down next to us, and lucky for me, his wife started sucking him. Since i didn't want to play with that couple, i stoped blowing my husband, crawled on him, gave him a deep kiss, and pulled him to roll on top of me to "protect" me from the other couple.

Seems like our past experiences, once a couple is next to another on a bed, instead of asking permission, hands just start kriss crossing, and grabbing whoevery else is there.

After my husband rolled me, i was further from the other couple, and he was blocking, i asked him if we can get dressed and leave, i told him to say something like i was being a tease to him, make light of it, and leave. Which we did.

While i was getting my top on, and he was fixing his pants, i heard the wife saw something to the husband "see, i told you. She's the most unsocial bitch i've ever met".

Really, oh well!! So, because we never talked all night, that means we're expected to play with them. Even though he was DEFINITLY NOT my type???

Thoughts?????

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It really doesnt matter what she said about you, we wont always please all of the people we meet and neither should we have to, so ignore and carry on, its their problem, dont make it yours!.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

You need to be true to yourself and if you don't want to play with someone say so politely. People often don't take body language on board or choose to ignore it so saying it to people is the only way.

Good luck and speak up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don't let them make you feel bad, if they can't take the hint it's your problem not theirs. x

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Why are they stalkers?

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple  over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

I agree.. speak up.

You have the total right to be comfortable and only do what you want - that goes without saying!

However, people aren't mind readers and you've joined in some fun so you can't expect people to instantly know your limits/boundaries. As others have said subtle body language might not be picked up.

A clear "Glad you're enjoying the view, we just want some us time but will see you downstairs for a drink soon" might have given the message better.

Just my opinion

Ruby x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why did you not just politely say that you weren't interested, or if you couldn't be that honest simply that you wanted to play alone?

By not actually vocalising your disinterest you may have been giving mixed signals which they misinterpreted, and now they're branded as stalkers?

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By *lackCherryCouple  over a year ago

Bristol

You might wanna learn how to be straight up and straight forward with people when you swing in club environments.

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By *andF_fun OP   Couple  over a year ago

Philly PA area

Thanks everyone. Stalker name was just carried over from my last post. Prob misused in this situation.

Just because I'm having fun, laughing, dancing, and participating in group games (other cpl wasn't participating, not like they had to either). But, just having a good time doesn't mean that I'm open to everyone.

I will definitely try to be more clear in the future. I guess saying something to others may make it more clear. I just figured we would exit the room to avoid discussion. Still learning.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It is hard sometimes to speak up.. tbh.. but whether you are interested or not no one has any right to be verbally abusive to you. You are in charge of your body and you only you decide who touches it...you had already moved away from them and that was hint enough.. they should have taken it.. xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Having been to a couple of house parties in the states, I can see the problem. House parties here are generally smaller affairs than in the states.

Over there, they are more like a club here, 20, 30 or more people. Being from over here, just about everyone wanted a piece of us, which was scarey at first. However we didn't have a problem saying no as we are used to the clubs here. But its not so easy to escape from a unwanted attention in a house as it is a club.

You just need to be forceful, be clear a no thanks and if that don't work, get dressed and walk out of the room.

We were called stuffy English by this one couple, simply because we wouldn't play with them. But others at the party so found out we are far from stuffy lol

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By *igellahestonCouple  over a year ago

Darleston

subtlety doesn't always work in swinging situations! Sometimes its best just to say what you want or don't want!

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Giving mixed signals won't work.... you should just open your mouth and say no thanks ..... to this couple plus the single male you talk about on the other thread.

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By *andF_fun OP   Couple  over a year ago

Philly PA area

Thank you to everyone. Like i said, we're still learning. We've been together for 22 years, used to have fun, then had kids. Love the kids dearly, but after a decade out of the social situation, we're trying to have fun again. Definitly need to recharge the social skills.

I try not to send mixed signals, but i also need to work on my verbal skills.

I was just having a fun night (no alchol for us at all) and trying to mingle and make friends. I figured when i pulled my legs back, got dressed and left the area would be signal enough for not intrested. Other than a simple peck of a kiss, i did not let him continue to touch me, i didn't start rubbing his back or touching his wife when she played w/ my hair.

However, we have seen a lady walk up to a guy and openly said "Can i suck your cock?", and we also saw a lady tell a couple "i'm not ready for this yet".

So, i guess verbal is the key, but i just want to have a classy way of doing it. What works for some, may not work for others i guess.

Think i need a new thread:

one for pick up lines that work

and one for

how to let down a guy / couple easy so they don't get mad at you. I can't stand tension in the air. I know i should just let it go, but sometimes it kills the mood for the night. (but we found a couple we both liked so i didn't kill the night after all)

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By *issHottieBottieWoman  over a year ago

Kent


"Thank you to everyone. Like i said, we're still learning. We've been together for 22 years, used to have fun, then had kids. Love the kids dearly, but after a decade out of the social situation, we're trying to have fun again. Definitly need to recharge the social skills.

I try not to send mixed signals, but i also need to work on my verbal skills.

I was just having a fun night (no alchol for us at all) and trying to mingle and make friends. I figured when i pulled my legs back, got dressed and left the area would be signal enough for not intrested. Other than a simple peck of a kiss, i did not let him continue to touch me, i didn't start rubbing his back or touching his wife when she played w/ my hair.

However, we have seen a lady walk up to a guy and openly said "Can i suck your cock?", and we also saw a lady tell a couple "i'm not ready for this yet".

So, i guess verbal is the key, but i just want to have a classy way of doing it. What works for some, may not work for others i guess.

Think i need a new thread:

one for pick up lines that work

and one for

how to let down a guy / couple easy so they don't get mad at you. I can't stand tension in the air. I know i should just let it go, but sometimes it kills the mood for the night. (but we found a couple we both liked so i didn't kill the night after all)

"

I know it can be quite daunting and having made my first trip to a club a couple of weeks ago I said no thank you to one guy that asked me while I was getting a drink. It was easy actually and over and done with rather than skirting round the issue. I'm sure any decent swinger will appreciate a no thank you as they should understand that you can't be interested in everyone.

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