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play room politeness

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By *imon and saffy OP   Couple  over a year ago

southampton

Please don't shoot us down for asking what might be an obvious question.

When you're in a play room, in our case often the large one with the six couple sized bed, with other couples and you're all playing with our partners. How do you initiate something with your neighbouring couple?

"Excuse me may I touch your wife" seems a little formal but reaching out, even when it's only a couple of inches, risks offence as it could be unwanted.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wish I knew. We just had other people's hands on us without so much as a nod.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think you simply have to ask "would you like to play?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

been there too never had the balls to ask just enjoyed the closeness of it all

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By *orthwest_cplCouple  over a year ago

Stretford

Lightly touch an arm or leg and see what reaction you get. If you get a touch back then you have an answer. Most people, if they don't want the touch, will say no or push your hand gently away without histrionics. Use common sense and you won't go far wrong.

If it's an open playroom with lots of people in it then anyone who would freak at a slight touch is in the wrong place.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Lightly touch an arm or leg and see what reaction you get. If you get a touch back then you have an answer. Most people, if they don't want the touch, will say no or push your hand gently away without histrionics. Use common sense and you won't go far wrong.

If it's an open playroom with lots of people in it then anyone who would freak at a slight touch is in the wrong place."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your there for an obvious reason, so to touch shouldn't be a problem. To start proceedings the line I use if meeting for the first time is 'Is there anywhere that's out of bounds'. Once that's answered then touch and play to hearts content

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By *lentyoffun40Couple  over a year ago

Lancashire

Gentle touch on the arm or foot

Lots of eye contact

You soon get an idea

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just ask. We find it a bit out of order if someone starts groping because often you don't know who is doing it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Lightly touch an arm or leg and see what reaction you get. If you get a touch back then you have an answer. Most people, if they don't want the touch, will say no or push your hand gently away without histrionics. Use common sense and you won't go far wrong.

If it's an open playroom with lots of people in it then anyone who would freak at a slight touch is in the wrong place."

We usually nod or just say "okay"... if it's a touch .. but accept the "no" if it's a "no" ... some don't and spoilt it for all

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By *otlovefun42Couple  over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"Lightly touch an arm or leg and see what reaction you get. If you get a touch back then you have an answer. Most people, if they don't want the touch, will say no or push your hand gently away without histrionics. Use common sense and you won't go far wrong.

If it's an open playroom with lots of people in it then anyone who would freak at a slight touch is in the wrong place."

Absolutely. That is the way we always do it, and never had a problem.

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By *ungle-FeverCouple (FF)  over a year ago

Bristol/Gloucester


"Gentle touch on the arm or foot

Lots of eye contact

You soon get an idea"

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By *avindaWoman  over a year ago

North Wales


"I think you simply have to ask "would you like to play?""

I personally prefer that. Accidentally touching in group play is different . Do not suddenly like feeling a hand on me and not know who it is.

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By *eareenaCouple  over a year ago

Rockford

Interesting thread. I assumed that if you play on the big group area that was essentially inviting others. I am a club noob so its great to read these threads

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Please don't shoot us down for asking what might be an obvious question.

When you're in a play room, in our case often the large one with the six couple sized bed, with other couples and you're all playing with our partners. How do you initiate something with your neighbouring couple?

"Excuse me may I touch your wife" seems a little formal but reaching out, even when it's only a couple of inches, risks offence as it could be unwanted.

"

Ok I may not be married but I have attended clubs enough times with the same guy and if anyone asked him if they could play with me they would get told I have a mouth and can make decisions myself.

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By *eareenaCouple  over a year ago

Rockford

Yeah I guess simple courtesy is the answer but sometimes people with the horn just forget themselves...also I am trying to keep that other thread off the top spot

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By *imon and saffy OP   Couple  over a year ago

southampton

All makes sense

As regards whether it would be right for me to ask the man for permission, I was just citing an example of a question not implying anything more.

It's a bit less sure for us as we often go to Bristol gardens which isn't a full on club, so there are plenty there who just like to be watched.

It does make sense that anyone who takes offence at a light touch to initiate shouldn't be on a group bed but it would still be mortifying if they did! :O

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By *atasha_DavidCouple  over a year ago

Slough


"if anyone asked him if they could play with me they would get told I have a mouth and can make decisions myself.

"

But what if you had your mouth full at the time?

BTW loving the new profile pic

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By *orthwest_cplCouple  over a year ago

Stretford


"

It does make sense that anyone who takes offence at a light touch to initiate shouldn't be on a group bed but it would still be mortifying if they did! :O "

In 14 years of very regular club going, always playing in open rooms, we have never had a problem. People have politely made it clear that they are not interested or we have done the same. There has never been a scene. If you are bothered about a reaction to a touch then you can ask first, but personally, we would prefer to be touched rather than asked - a converstaion mid flow can spoil the moment .

Just remember that there is a difference between a light touch and a grope and sometimes it is clear from body language that people do not want outside contact, in which case don't touch.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

good thread with spot on advice

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if anyone asked him if they could play with me they would get told I have a mouth and can make decisions myself.

But what if you had your mouth full at the time?

BTW loving the new profile pic"

Errrr hmmm I might of had to spit

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That's really useful. I'm a newbie to clubs but I'm learning.

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Please don't shoot us down for asking what might be an obvious question.

When you're in a play room, in our case often the large one with the six couple sized bed, with other couples and you're all playing with our partners. How do you initiate something with your neighbouring couple?

"Excuse me may I touch your wife" seems a little formal but reaching out, even when it's only a couple of inches, risks offence as it could be unwanted.

"

I've asked "may I/we join you?" before in some situations.

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