FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Rant about time wasters....again
Rant about time wasters....again
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So twice this week we've been turned down for meets, which is not an unusual thing really.
Turned down once by someone cause we asked to see face picks. - Im assuming they're a fake.
Turned down by another because we said 'we do not guarantee a play on the first meet because we may not get along in person' which I think is a fair comment, it's totally different speaking to someone online and then speaking to them in person.
They then said that because we haven't had any meets in a while they didn't want to.
This is exactly why we haven't had any meets in a while, because of all the bleeding time wasters and fakes.
We request meets every week, giving option of either one or two days and nobody ever says 'yeah sure we'd love to, see you then!'
I don't get it. We're young, fit, have some veris and experience, can accom and can meet either weekdays or weekends.
OARIEHKSDFNJBLUIJHWRSDFGBJ
Gods sake. Lol
Rant over, thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree 100% with the not playing on the first meet bit!
If this puts people off, it just screams desperation for us, so its a definite block!
Too many people on here, look nothing like their pics in the flesh, so why should you feel you have to play from the outset, with someone who blatantly is nothing like their profile?
Their loss not yours x |
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Joys of fab I suppose but no less annoying for that.
The face pic thing is odd, why would you NOT send a face pic to someone you were meeting, its not blind date is it ?
Assuming that the person asking for the pic is real, which you clearly are, where the problem unless as you say its a fake profile.
As for the meet first, makes sense, but if people are travelling miles maybe it puts them off; personally I know pretty quick if I want to play with someone or not, and I would rather have a chilled out drink first - (There are exceptions, before certain people I have met comment on HOW we met).
I am sure you will find a suitable meet or two you are a sexy couple from what I have seen on cam. (and way out of my league).
I would much rather people said from the start that i am not their type then we can have a laugh on here with no illusions.
Feel free to rant ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't quite understand just because you have been turned down how that makes them timewasters. I'm sure people get turned down all the time. But hope you get a meet soon"
Not those specific cases, just the fact that we ask people every week to meet and have done for months and haven't had a play meet since June. |
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To the op, I know what you mean, and being turned down is fine, it's just as you say, for stupid reasons like, you haven't had a meet in a while! Bonkers!
I know clubs aren't for everyone but this is mainly why we do them - none of this hassle and being let down.
I know how hard it is, Kate put up a meet request, for a solo meet, in a hotel. Narrowed it down to a couple of potentials and both were no shows! It's not your looks or anything else, it's just the populous.
Good luck! And on a personal note, wish we lived in your area.
D&K |
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As someone else said I'm not sure either of those examples really constitutes a time waster.
There are a lot of people who are keen to talk about meets but not actually meet on FAB but its one of those life things and easy to pass them by onto those who do meet 
It might be your standards are too high but then again we like to prefer quality over quantity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go through little runs of what you are experiencing and then hit purple patches where we meet several nice people on the trot. Yes agree it is very irritating when people let you down. Suprisingly alot of the single males on here prove to be pretty hopeless most of the time so that's why we stick to couples stuff and mainly fairly spur of the mo so that we don't get all fed up and frustrated when peeps let us down.
Hope that cheers you up a bit.
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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maybe specify you are looking for a social with no pressure meet, that way you meet people that arent intent on playing as soon as they set eyes on you.
must say, however, after chatting on here for a little while, seeing pics of each other, and a phone call, we get a pretty good idea of people and whether they would be the types we would want to take things further with, so have only rarely not played on a first meet.
but even when we havent we have had a lovely evening out with people.
and yes, we have been turned down plenty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We jumped at the chance of a meet was let down 4 hours before. Then no relying from them to rearrange. Second couple we exchange face pics, and even mob numbers. The male of the couple kept texting the miss's became a bit of a pest. We sorted a night out for all to meet for a drink. Again no show. Thinking of sicking to cam for a while then maybe a club.  |
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If you are being turned down for meets, that isn't timewasting. But this has already been mentioned, so moving on.....
It sucks, but sometimes stars don't align when you want them to. Guess you just have to persevere. As an aside, you have a good profile and nice pics. The ranty status update (understandable) can be a bit of a turn off.
Just my 2 cents, i'm no expert or anything. Have fun |
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"So somebody that turns you down while exchanging messages on here is a fake and/or timewaster? Seriously?  "
I think the point is that these people were discussing meets, and then at the last minute decided against it for some odd reason (unless I misread the OP).
I have spent ages on here chatting and arranging meets, even taking an afternoon off work to meet one couple only to be told the day before that they had changed their minds due to my beard !!!
Whilst I accept I am not for everyone (few in fact), I did consider that a waste of my time.
I suppose I need to realise that any 20 something sexy couples that invite me to meet are going to change there minds, maybe I need to be more realistic who I chat to in chat rooms or messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't quite understand just because you have been turned down how that makes them timewasters. I'm sure people get turned down all the time. But hope you get a meet soon
Not those specific cases, just the fact that we ask people every week to meet and have done for months and haven't had a play meet since June."
You need to look at what you are doing then? Have you considered trying clubs? To be honest most of your veris are from webcam, you've got 2 actual meets but the published one is just social and you've been on here almost a year, people will be wary of that combination. We'd meet but only at a club because we'd be wary that you are more interested in the fantasy that the reality of swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Constructive criticism intended here and not a dig!!!
3 veri's by webcam, NONE of which mention the male and 1 veri in person from a hidden profile.
If we were looking and came across a profile like this we would without a doubt elect to pass on by.
Sorry to be so blunt and not in anyway casting doubt on whether you are genuine but spinning it round would YOU want to take a chance on your profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being turned down after chatting and planning a specific meet could be just a case of the other party having nerves - or simply changing their mind. Its only timewasting if you've booked hotels/travel/babysitters - not just because someone decides not to meet anymore as everyone is entitled to change their minds.
If you're having regular problems with cancellations - it could be the way you're approaching things. Most people i know have no major issues - definitely not on a weekly basis. If there's a pattern forming - as is often said - there's only one constant in the equation. You.
I Don't mean to be negative - and hope things improve for you. Try searching similar couples to yourselves in your area and looking at who they meet. Nothing wrong with 'research' and it may highlight some more reliable potential contacts!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It seems so many on here have problems meeting even though is full of people wanting likewise things! I know that plenty of fakes are about and meeting socially first is a great thing I'm a pervert and highly sexed but have still been disappointed at a meet and decided against any further activity. OP I find it unbelievable that it was june since your last meet shocking x |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
I wouldn't consider being turned down for a meet as timewasting. You say you request meets every week? But how many messages are being exchanged before requesting a meet?
In 6 years I have only ever been let down once where I would consider them a timewaster. I can't tell if I want to meet someone after just a message or 2. Often I will messge someone for a couple of weeks before possibly arranging a meet. Sometimes it takes quite a few messages for me to decide if I want to meet them or not. Does that make me a timewaster if I decide not to meet them? No. It means I am cautious and have fine-tuned my selection process.
I think most people on here have been let down at least once. But if it happens regularly then I am sorry to say, but it is most definitely your selection process.
Just because someone may take a little bit longer to decide if they want to meet you, or may need to message for a little while before arranging ameet, does not make them a timewaster. Maybe they were fakes, or maybe someonething happened during the conversation that made them decide not to meet you so therefore didn't see the point of sending a face pic.
I do agree with the social meet first aspect though. I promise nothing other than a pure social meet for the first meet, and if something else happens during that meet then great. But this is just my way of doing it, it isn't necessarily the right or wrong way. Some people prefer to play on the first meet and if that isn't for you then pass them by and move on. Simples. As they aren't after the same thing as you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading this thread your examples are totally wrong for time wasters,
Try out a club if your are free to meet every week no pressure to play and a good way to get some actual meet veris.
Which may help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't consider being turned down for a meet as timewasting. You say you request meets every week? But how many messages are being exchanged before requesting a meet?
In 6 years I have only ever been let down once where I would consider them a timewaster. I can't tell if I want to meet someone after just a message or 2. Often I will messge someone for a couple of weeks before possibly arranging a meet. Sometimes it takes quite a few messages for me to decide if I want to meet them or not. Does that make me a timewaster if I decide not to meet them? No. It means I am cautious and have fine-tuned my selection process.
I think most people on here have been let down at least once. But if it happens regularly then I am sorry to say, but it is most definitely your selection process.
Just because someone may take a little bit longer to decide if they want to meet you, or may need to message for a little while before arranging ameet, does not make them a timewaster. Maybe they were fakes, or maybe someonething happened during the conversation that made them decide not to meet you so therefore didn't see the point of sending a face pic.
I do agree with the social meet first aspect though. I promise nothing other than a pure social meet for the first meet, and if something else happens during that meet then great. But this is just my way of doing it, it isn't necessarily the right or wrong way. Some people prefer to play on the first meet and if that isn't for you then pass them by and move on. Simples. As they aren't after the same thing as you."
I totally agree with you here. You wouldn't want to be on the Irish site. I've been accused of being a time waster on numerous occasions.because I have a selection process whereby I don't automatically agree to 'meet' just because a few pleasant messages have been exchanged. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't quite understand just because you have been turned down how that makes them timewasters. I'm sure people get turned down all the time. But hope you get a meet soon
Not those specific cases, just the fact that we ask people every week to meet and have done for months and haven't had a play meet since June."
From my own experience I've found that planning meets like that never works. You set a day and advertise for (in my case guys) someone and invariably 99%of the people who contact you wil be not what you're looking for. Of the other one percent most won't be available on the day you are,but ask to be kept in mind for next time. Which is obviously no good when you're free now! And the rest wont turn up anyway.
I had it the other day. I was in a hotel on Wednesday evening so could accom. Advertised as such a few days before saying free to meet between 5-10pm. All I got was married men mailing saying "can you meet during the day?". Had one guy arrange to meet then cancel, another guy get to the hotel, then run off as he had to go through reception and was asked what room he was looking for!
The only times I've had decent meets have been last minute, or ones where I've made the first move to contact. |
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Why do people do it !! time is precious enough without idiots wasting it !!
Had a meet arranged this week,been talking for a while date set,time set place to meet set and even what clothing was being worn (the outfit sounded quite good actually lol). I cancelled a few things and moved other stuff around so I could have time etc for the meet and nothing would get in the way. The night before we are messaging then out of the blue they stop replying and block me !! I understand its everyones choice whether to meet or not,but come on an explanation or short message is only polite as manners cost nothing !! instead of a verified tick we need a timewater one !! lol
sorry for the rant and hijacking your thread Fantasy241 ... hope you have better luck in the future ... take care S xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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why is clubs the be all and end all with some people?
why would anyone want to sit in a place, that costs money to get into, and possibly not feel comfortable?
there is a reason couples like the OP havent done the club thing, and plenty of others havent.
maybe they prefer the intimacy of one to one meets without someones head being turned by every flapping cock or pair of tits walking past.
OP, your idea of timewasters is wide of the mark, unfortunately.
people like to talk about meeting more than actually do it.
you will get used to it.
just make sure those you agree to meet are the right people for you and you wont go far wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why is clubs the be all and end all with some people?
why would anyone want to sit in a place, that costs money to get into, and possibly not feel comfortable?
there is a reason couples like the OP havent done the club thing, and plenty of others havent.
maybe they prefer the intimacy of one to one meets without someones head being turned by every flapping cock or pair of tits walking past.
OP, your idea of timewasters is wide of the mark, unfortunately.
people like to talk about meeting more than actually do it.
you will get used to it.
just make sure those you agree to meet are the right people for you and you wont go far wrong"
No one has said it's the be all and end all. It's just an option like with us we don't get to meet that often so when we place an ad for a meet and get nothing we want we will go to a club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally never would guarantee that i would play on a 1st meet unless i responded to a play meet on the events listings
even then if he or she wasnt for me id say no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup. Im a timewaster because I wont shag any cock (no offence) that emails me, let alone get to my criteria where I like to see pics and have some kind of social before playing.
I just keep going and play by my rules. You guys do the same. Nothing wrong with asking for a pic or a chat on cam, or a phone call, and indeed a social before any action takes place.
There's certainly no benefit to shagging anyone just to keep your veris up to date. Have to wait until something is right for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now that is a deliberate timewaster. Nothing to do with lack of manners that is typical timewasting behaviour which you find on every site. I don't meet unless I've a mobile number and I ask them to answer the door before I go up the path. Paranoia no, I've knocked at doors were kids have answered, or very elderly people looking to see who's at the door.  Had some great meets but I've also had fair share of timewasters lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always turn up. Sometimes wished we hadn't!
But then again people locally keep calling us fake and arrogant because we then don't often play. We won't do anything unless we really, really want to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now that is a deliberate timewaster. Nothing to do with lack of manners that is typical timewasting behaviour which you find on every site. I don't meet unless I've a mobile number and I ask them to answer the door before I go up the path. Paranoia no, I've knocked at doors were kids have answered, or very elderly people looking to see who's at the door. Had some great meets but I've also had fair share of timewasters lol"
Totally agree this happened to a mate of mine. Make sure the people you are meeting are real. Phone calls, cams, a social to feel happy, ok dont take six months workin em out but be safe, better than being fooled.  |
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