FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Meeting more than once
Meeting more than once
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry for the crap title. Just wanted pols thoughts please. I've met a couple of nice guys I want to have as regular fb's. was chatting to one last night and he said it was ok as long as the meets where spaced apart or if I had to meet two days in a row he came first! Anyone else think this is normal or like me think it should make no difference? I'm trying to understand his point of _iew but finding it hard to
Thanks  |
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By *08428Man
over a year ago
Shaftesbury |
Sounds as though hé thinks close meets are more akin to à relationship, hé is obviously à little scared at that thought not does hé understand concept of à fb, you have choices as you are very pretty i would say find à more sensible fb, have fun x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think so. He can't explain it either I just wanted other ppls thoughts. "
He doesn't want to have you after another guy is all... Some men like to be first, others middle men.. some last... I get it but it's not really logical...
Cali |
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By *coobysMan
over a year ago
north west lancs |
with your fantastic boobs and figure and I bet damn good looks you should call the shots. Just do what suits you best and if that's a meet the day before him so be it, your on this site for your needs and fun, be a shame if he cant handle that but an fb is an fb not your partner. He should consider himself extremely fortunate that you want him, hope that helps. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm not really I'm just a very honest person and like to be up front. I kind of had a fb when I first came back to fab and he got a bit funny when he found out I had meets someone else! I want to be honest I guess |
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"I'm not really I'm just a very honest person and like to be up front. I kind of had a fb when I first came back to fab and he got a bit funny when he found out I had meets someone else! I want to be honest I guess "
But it's unnecessary. As long as he's aware that there may be other playmates then that's all he needs to know.
Too much honesty can be just as damaging as lies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is a man thing, think of a pride of lions, the male always shags the female pride leader first, then lesser males can shag her,
Its just a pride thing, so to sooth his ego agree, or at least let him believe that he is first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He means me seeing someone else the day before meeting him "
Who and when you're meeting has bugger all to do with him,why would you even be giving him information like that?
There is nothing wrong with regular meets,I agree with his comment about not meeting too often,I feel the same,I like a bit of variety between meets to keep it exciting,but anyone starting to lay down rules and regulations with me will become ex regular playmate immediately
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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trust me, you get alot of guys on here that say they want to fbs but then turn all pysco and talk about full blown relationships etc and get jealous of you meeting other ppl etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He means me seeing someone else the day before meeting him
Who and when you're meeting has bugger all to do with him,why would you even be giving him information like that?
There is nothing wrong with regular meets,I agree with his comment about not meeting too often,I feel the same,I like a bit of variety between meets to keep it exciting,but anyone starting to lay down rules and regulations with me will become ex regular playmate immediately
"
I agree  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its you that should decide who,when you see your fuckbuds,dont let them dictate when u see them,being first or second is up to u how u want to play it.its your fun afterall,there Lucky to have you as a regular fuckbud,put ur foot down,ur in control, |
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"I'm not really I'm just a very honest person and like to be up front. I kind of had a fb when I first came back to fab and he got a bit funny when he found out I had meets someone else! I want to be honest I guess "
Well, I can understand that - I am the same. And actually I feel the same as he does too, both ways, and so would be happy to respect his wishes and simply not fix a meet with him the day after seeing someone else. |
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"What he doesn't know won't hurt him!
Why would you be talking to one meet about other meets?"
I wouldn't even say "hurt". If you're on here for recreational sex with others I don't get why he'd be bothered in what order he was met or why the op wants to encourage such needy behaviour. |
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"I'm not really I'm just a very honest person and like to be up front. I kind of had a fb when I first came back to fab and he got a bit funny when he found out I had meets someone else! I want to be honest I guess "
Still don't get why you're modifying your modus operandi for others...*shrugs* |
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"I'm not really I'm just a very honest person and like to be up front. I kind of had a fb when I first came back to fab and he got a bit funny when he found out I had meets someone else! I want to be honest I guess
But it's unnecessary. As long as he's aware that there may be other playmates then that's all he needs to know.
Too much honesty can be just as damaging as lies."
This! |
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"He means me seeing someone else the day before meeting him
Who and when you're meeting has bugger all to do with him,why would you even be giving him information like that?
There is nothing wrong with regular meets,I agree with his comment about not meeting too often,I feel the same,I like a bit of variety between meets to keep it exciting,but anyone starting to lay down rules and regulations with me will become ex regular playmate immediately
"
This! I have three playmates I've been seeing for six years: they've lasted that long because (a) we don't meet frequently; and (b) I don't discuss others, they know their place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He means me seeing someone else the day before meeting him
Just make sure you've given it a wash before. No one likes sloppy seconds xxx
Some do!"
Lol. Surely not the flowing day? You'd have to swat flies to get near it! |
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"He means me seeing someone else the day before meeting him
Just make sure you've given it a wash before. No one likes sloppy seconds xxx
Some do!
Lol. Surely not the flowing day? You'd have to swat flies to get near it!"
Some of the shenanigans some folk proudly post on here have reaquainted me with the contents of my stomach.
Spraying Raid whilst drilling through dried cum with a masonry bit attached to a Bosch is tame in comparison: trust me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He means me seeing someone else the day before meeting him
Just make sure you've given it a wash before. No one likes sloppy seconds xxx
Some do!
Lol. Surely not the flowing day? You'd have to swat flies to get near it!
Some of the shenanigans some folk proudly post on here have reaquainted me with the contents of my stomach.
Spraying Raid whilst drilling through dried cum with a masonry bit attached to a Bosch is tame in comparison: trust me! "
Beurkkkkkk I draw the line at Raid? Febreeze yes but if it needs a squirt of insect spray then Noooooo. As for drilling I have a tool hire shop 2 mins up the road so I can cater for any level of crust. |
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In most of the meets with females I have had, there has been a natural unwritten agreement that we exchange few if any details about other meets we have had, and certainly not about the timescale of them - it's a private matter. I think this is the best way. If this guy cannot accept that, then tell him you do not wish to meet him again. I would offer to take his place with you, but I'm above your age limit.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Erm, isn't the guy doing the right thing by being upfront right from the start? In that he is letting the op know what HE expects from their fb relationship. (i'm guessing the op has stated to him what SHE also expects from it). Yet, most of the guys on here seem to be siding with the op due to her being 'hot' and so should be able to dictate what happens! And heres me thinking a fb relationship should suit BOTH parties. Silly me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There could be many reason why he's asked this, like some said he might not want to be second, he might think you won't be up for it as much if you had sex the day/night before, maybe ask him for the same deal see how he takes it? But if you can't accept it then move on |
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"Erm, isn't the guy doing the right thing by being upfront right from the start? In that he is letting the op know what HE expects from their fb relationship. (i'm guessing the op has stated to him what SHE also expects from it). Yet, most of the guys on here seem to be siding with the op due to her being 'hot' and so should be able to dictate what happens! And heres me thinking a fb relationship should suit BOTH parties. Silly me. "
Yes, I agree - I wish more people would discuss at the beginning exactly what they want/expect, everyone is different. Last time the opportunity came up I asked for the same with a FB - there was a marked difference in his performance the day after a heavy session with someone else and I did not appreciate it, he was much better when he was totally gagging, lol! I would have thought guys can tell the difference too frankly. |
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"Erm, isn't the guy doing the right thing by being upfront right from the start? In that he is letting the op know what HE expects from their fb relationship. (i'm guessing the op has stated to him what SHE also expects from it). Yet, most of the guys on here seem to be siding with the op due to her being 'hot' and so should be able to dictate what happens! And heres me thinking a fb relationship should suit BOTH parties. Silly me. "
If you have several fuck buddies how do you please them all: not everyone can be first. If you're one of nine you know the score surely or am I misunderstanding some meet etiquette between fuck buddies who meet others for no strings recreational sex?
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"Erm, isn't the guy doing the right thing by being upfront right from the start? In that he is letting the op know what HE expects from their fb relationship. (i'm guessing the op has stated to him what SHE also expects from it). Yet, most of the guys on here seem to be siding with the op due to her being 'hot' and so should be able to dictate what happens! And heres me thinking a fb relationship should suit BOTH parties. Silly me.
Yes, I agree - I wish more people would discuss at the beginning exactly what they want/expect, everyone is different. Last time the opportunity came up I asked for the same with a FB - there was a marked difference in his performance the day after a heavy session with someone else and I did not appreciate it, he was much better when he was totally gagging, lol! I would have thought guys can tell the difference too frankly."
Everyone is different for sure as even when I'm gagging, the day of the meet comes and I'd rather they'd bought cake and tea bags!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Erm, isn't the guy doing the right thing by being upfront right from the start? In that he is letting the op know what HE expects from their fb relationship. (i'm guessing the op has stated to him what SHE also expects from it). Yet, most of the guys on here seem to be siding with the op due to her being 'hot' and so should be able to dictate what happens! And heres me thinking a fb relationship should suit BOTH parties. Silly me.
If you have several fuck buddies how do you please them all: not everyone can be first. If you're one of nine you know the score surely or am I misunderstanding some meet etiquette between fuck buddies who meet others for no strings recreational sex?
"
Of course not. But as i stated, the guy has told her his preferences BEFORE they become fb's. If she's not happy with his suggestions, then don't become fb's. I'm sure she has a few do's and don'ts. As stated, all the guy done was say what he would like to see happen while being fb's. |
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"
If you have several fuck buddies how do you please them all: not everyone can be first.
"
Looking at the original post she said she was openly talking to the guy about seeing two guys regularly, and all he said, in effect, was he didn't want to meet her the day after the other guy **if** she met them two days running. Fair enough IMO. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Funnily I agree with most if not all stated above.
He's is being honest which I whole heartily accept as am I. My playtime is limited so I will never be playing same day ect
We are going to have a chat next time we meet and discuss but thanks guys much appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funnily I agree with most if not all stated above.
He's is being honest which I whole heartily accept as am I. My playtime is limited so I will never be playing same day ect
We are going to have a chat next time we meet and discuss but thanks guys much appreciated "
Have to say after reading your original post and some since you just need to discuss it together, you obviously think hes FB material thats why your being honest and him back to you.
Good luck im sure it will work out!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Erm, isn't the guy doing the right thing by being upfront right from the start? In that he is letting the op know what HE expects from their fb relationship. (i'm guessing the op has stated to him what SHE also expects from it). Yet, most of the guys on here seem to be siding with the op due to her being 'hot' and so should be able to dictate what happens! And heres me thinking a fb relationship should suit BOTH parties. Silly me.
If you have several fuck buddies how do you please them all: not everyone can be first. If you're one of nine you know the score surely or am I misunderstanding some meet etiquette between fuck buddies who meet others for no strings recreational sex?
Of course not. But as i stated, the guy has told her his preferences BEFORE they become fb's. If she's not happy with his suggestions, then don't become fb's. I'm sure she has a few do's and don'ts. As stated, all the guy done was say what he would like to see happen while being fb's. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely a pride issue here, at the end of the day though he's met someone from fab he wants as an fb so it's maybe a little unreasonable for him to stipulate how and when you meet, it's gotta be 50/50!
Seems a lot of guys on here want to have their cake and eat it meaning they want an fb who only meets them but then they wanna meet all an sundry at the same time.
I'm not fussed if my fb's meet others nor when they do it as long as they have fun and are looked after.
I know they are gonna have the time of their life with me though!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have 2 guys I play with on a regular basis, both know about the other but neither ask, nor would I tell them. If he is happy to be FB, have the NSA fun and play then so be it but why he wants to be 1st is just an ego thing. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely a pride issue here, at the end of the day though he's met someone from fab he wants as an fb so it's maybe a little unreasonable for him to stipulate how and when you meet, it's gotta be 50/50!
Seems a lot of guys on here want to have their cake and eat it meaning they want an fb who only meets them but then they wanna meet all an sundry at the same time.
I'm not fussed if my fb's meet others nor when they do it as long as they have fun and are looked after.
I know they are gonna have the time of their life with me though!!"
So its unreasonable to have some sort of input into a relationship? Even if it is just a fb type of thing? Or, should guys just take what they can get nowadays due to supply and demand issues? Maybe thats where i'm going wrong on here. Perhaps i should just drop my ethics like the rest of the herd seem to have done? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely a pride issue here, at the end of the day though he's met someone from fab he wants as an fb so it's maybe a little unreasonable for him to stipulate how and when you meet, it's gotta be 50/50!
Seems a lot of guys on here want to have their cake and eat it meaning they want an fb who only meets them but then they wanna meet all an sundry at the same time.
I'm not fussed if my fb's meet others nor when they do it as long as they have fun and are looked after.
I know they are gonna have the time of their life with me though!!
So its unreasonable to have some sort of input into a relationship? Even if it is just a fb type of thing? Or, should guys just take what they can get nowadays due to supply and demand issues? Maybe thats where i'm going wrong on here. Perhaps i should just drop my ethics like the rest of the herd seem to have done?"
Missed the 50/50 bit did you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely a pride issue here, at the end of the day though he's met someone from fab he wants as an fb so it's maybe a little unreasonable for him to stipulate how and when you meet, it's gotta be 50/50!
Seems a lot of guys on here want to have their cake and eat it meaning they want an fb who only meets them but then they wanna meet all an sundry at the same time.
I'm not fussed if my fb's meet others nor when they do it as long as they have fun and are looked after.
I know they are gonna have the time of their life with me though!!
So its unreasonable to have some sort of input into a relationship? Even if it is just a fb type of thing? Or, should guys just take what they can get nowadays due to supply and demand issues? Maybe thats where i'm going wrong on here. Perhaps i should just drop my ethics like the rest of the herd seem to have done?
Missed the 50/50 bit did you? "
Nope. I just wondered why you even bothered to insert the 50/50 part after saying its unreasonable for him to stipulate what he wants from a fb! After all, doesn't 50/50 mean stipulation from BOTH parties concerned? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Erm, isn't the guy doing the right thing by being upfront right from the start? In that he is letting the op know what HE expects from their fb relationship. (i'm guessing the op has stated to him what SHE also expects from it). Yet, most of the guys on here seem to be siding with the op due to her being 'hot' and so should be able to dictate what happens! And heres me thinking a fb relationship should suit BOTH parties. Silly me.
Yes, I agree - I wish more people would discuss at the beginning exactly what they want/expect, everyone is different. Last time the opportunity came up I asked for the same with a FB - there was a marked difference in his performance the day after a heavy session with someone else and I did not appreciate it, he was much better when he was totally gagging, lol! I would have thought guys can tell the difference too frankly."
I agree...why should the male FB's wishes not be respected by the female?
I wouldn't dream of having a meet the night before playing with my FB, nor would i appreciate it if he had. We don't discuss our other partners when we meet, but we do both ensure we're firing on all cyclinders! |
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"Definitely a pride issue here, at the end of the day though he's met someone from fab he wants as an fb so it's maybe a little unreasonable for him to stipulate how and when you meet, it's gotta be 50/50!
Seems a lot of guys on here want to have their cake and eat it meaning they want an fb who only meets them but then they wanna meet all an sundry at the same time.
I'm not fussed if my fb's meet others nor when they do it as long as they have fun and are looked after.
I know they are gonna have the time of their life with me though!!"
Personally I didn't see it as pride I was just curious as I have several people I play with regularly, three for over six years.
During that time we've never discussed other meets, stipulated in what order or sat down and set "rules".
I see them as playmates not boyfriends. Those that get clingy are dismissed and I never meet them again.
Interesting the differences. |
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"Definitely a pride issue here, at the end of the day though he's met someone from fab he wants as an fb so it's maybe a little unreasonable for him to stipulate how and when you meet, it's gotta be 50/50!
Seems a lot of guys on here want to have their cake and eat it meaning they want an fb who only meets them but then they wanna meet all an sundry at the same time.
I'm not fussed if my fb's meet others nor when they do it as long as they have fun and are looked after.
I know they are gonna have the time of their life with me though!!
So its unreasonable to have some sort of input into a relationship? Even if it is just a fb type of thing? Or, should guys just take what they can get nowadays due to supply and demand issues? Maybe thats where i'm going wrong on here. Perhaps i should just drop my ethics like the rest of the herd seem to have done?"
I think it depends how you play. I don't want to sit and discuss ground rules of meeting with someone I meet casually for recreational sex on an ad hoc basis.
It works both ways I have no interest or care in what order they meet me.
I don't think it means I lack ethics, they're not my husband, I don't see the need to get territorial. |
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"Erm, isn't the guy doing the right thing by being upfront right from the start? In that he is letting the op know what HE expects from their fb relationship. (i'm guessing the op has stated to him what SHE also expects from it). Yet, most of the guys on here seem to be siding with the op due to her being 'hot' and so should be able to dictate what happens! And heres me thinking a fb relationship should suit BOTH parties. Silly me.
Yes, I agree - I wish more people would discuss at the beginning exactly what they want/expect, everyone is different. Last time the opportunity came up I asked for the same with a FB - there was a marked difference in his performance the day after a heavy session with someone else and I did not appreciate it, he was much better when he was totally gagging, lol! I would have thought guys can tell the difference too frankly.
I agree...why should the male FB's wishes not be respected by the female?
I wouldn't dream of having a meet the night before playing with my FB, nor would i appreciate it if he had. We don't discuss our other partners when we meet, but we do both ensure we're firing on all cyclinders! "
Aah, now you see, it takes my playmates about 48 hours to prepare for me and the minimum that time again to recover, so meeting others beforehand isn't an issue.
Looking at it from the point of _iew of performance, I can see there could be a point.
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"
I agree...why should the male FB's wishes not be respected by the female?
I wouldn't dream of having a meet the night before playing with my FB, nor would i appreciate it if he had. We don't discuss our other partners when we meet, but we do both ensure we're firing on all cyclinders! "
Exactly. I simply wouldn't do it out of respect anyway. I don't care how casual an encounter is, I think another human being always deserves my respect and I expect the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just a question, having never had sex with a woman,
Does your vagina stretch and become relaxed after sex, maybe he wants first go to make sure its nice and tight ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I may be a bit dumb here, but what if you met him on a monday and you could'nt see one of your other fb's until sunday, doe s that mean the original fb is second??? no matter which way you look at it he is always going to come to you after someone else has had you so no matter which way you turn he will always be second along with any other fb's you have 
or am i stupid??? |
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"I may be a bit dumb here, but what if you met him on a monday and you could'nt see one of your other fb's until sunday, doe s that mean the original fb is second??? no matter which way you look at it he is always going to come to you after someone else has had you so no matter which way you turn he will always be second along with any other fb's you have
or am i stupid??? "
The point about being first or second only applies if she is seeing them two days running. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell him to mind his own business, or tell him that you insist he sees nobody else for 4 days prior to you. He wants to have his cake AND eat it."
Lol. No, he wants some say in the fb relationship. Or should us guys just take what we get and be grateful? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But does he allow her a say in what she expects of him? Doubt it, he sounds either arrogant, unfeeling or just dumb to other peoples likes, wants or needs. He knows she sees other people, and as such her world does not revolve around him. So yes, he should take what he can get. NO STRINGS I think is the term that people usually use. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But does he allow her a say in what she expects of him? Doubt it, he sounds either arrogant, unfeeling or just dumb to other peoples likes, wants or needs. He knows she sees other people, and as such her world does not revolve around him. So yes, he should take what he can get. NO STRINGS I think is the term that people usually use."
Take what he can get?? Why should he? The benefit of having a FB is that there is mutual trust and respect without the hassle of a relationship...that's the NSA. It has to work for both the male and the female, as I'm sure the OP is aware or she wouldn't have raised the issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But does he allow her a say in what she expects of him? Doubt it, he sounds either arrogant, unfeeling or just dumb to other peoples likes, wants or needs. He knows she sees other people, and as such her world does not revolve around him. So yes, he should take what he can get. NO STRINGS I think is the term that people usually use.
Take what he can get?? Why should he? The benefit of having a FB is that there is mutual trust and respect without the hassle of a relationship...that's the NSA. It has to work for both the male and the female, as I'm sure the OP is aware or she wouldn't have raised the issue. "
If she has made no demands on him, then he isn't in a position to make them of her. He might have "preferences" but that is what they are, not necessities. Just how much is this guy willing to give or is it all take. I think we should be told! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she has made no demands on him, then he isn't in a position to make them of her. He might have "preferences" but that is what they are, not necessities. Just how much is this guy willing to give or is it all take. I think we should be told!"
It's none of our business...and if my FB discussed our limits and boundaries in the forum he'd be an ex-FB!
I think some posters don't quite understand the FB/FWB concept...and I have had a few, not one has ever turned sour |
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"It is a man thing, think of a pride of lions, the male always shags the female pride leader first, then lesser males can shag her,
Its just a pride thing, so to sooth his ego agree, or at least let him believe that he is first."
It's true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she has made no demands on him, then he isn't in a position to make them of her. He might have "preferences" but that is what they are, not necessities. Just how much is this guy willing to give or is it all take. I think we should be told!
It's none of our business...and if my FB discussed our limits and boundaries in the forum he'd be an ex-FB!
I think some posters don't quite understand the FB/FWB concept...and I have had a few, not one has ever turned sour "
Perhaps they just think its sex on tap! Rather than a two way street where both parties have equal input as to rules and such. Either that, or no morals and they're willing to agree to anything for a fuck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"trust me, you get alot of guys on here that say they want to fbs but then turn all pysco and talk about full blown relationships etc and get jealous of you meeting other ppl etc "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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send out mixed signals get mixed results
"Do u want to be my regular?"- should that even be asked?..its as close as saying "Do u want to be my boyfriend?" in my opinion.
I have partners I occasionally meet up with..nothings really ever planned way in advance or set to particular days, there might not even be daily/weekly chat
might sound cold to some people, but its mostly the best way our swinging lives should work, in my opinion
and its definitely never cold when we meet! |
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