Ok. Before we get any smart comments and piss takers, please don't lol .
Been together 6 months, very much in love . Female swung several times before, and lots of partners away from scene. Male, many partners off the scene, a little nervous with the whole swing thing, thinks he's average bloke when he's far from it mmmm. He has done the club thing 5 times but no action, through choice and nerves.
Can somebody offer advice as to the best way to proceed . I know it's a daft question but we both enjoy the whole thing but it's holding him back a little ....
If this doesn't make sense then we apologise  |
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Not really sure what you are asking, however welcome.
Key to swinging is 80% social 20% sex
Enjoy it and have fun and make friends the sex part will happen.
Have you thought of a closed room at a club to ease into it? X |
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Sorry wasn't obvious I know...... He is a little unsure of himself due to being in an extremely bad relationship previously and it's knocked his confidence etc. we are looking for the best way to get past the barrier if you will x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most important thing is to be open and honest with each other, discuss everything including likes, dislikes and expectations and treat it as a hobby.
Hope you have lots of fun  |
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" Most important thing is to be open and honest with each other, discuss everything including likes, dislikes and expectations and treat it as a hobby.
Hope you have lots of fun "
We have discussed fully what we want and are both extremely open minded.... He feels that he is holding her back  |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Confidence can be a fragile thing, both with ladies and gents,
I d suggest trying a social where you can meet people in a no pressure situation,
take your time,, if you re conversing on fab with people explain the situation and you ll probably find most will be very understanding and patient , some will offer suggestions as well,,
Have fun,,   |
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"Confidence can be a fragile thing, both with ladies and gents,
I d suggest trying a social where you can meet people in a no pressure situation,
take your time,, if you re conversing on fab with people explain the situation and you ll probably find most will be very understanding and patient , some will offer suggestions as well,,
Have fun,, "
Great help John thankyou  |
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I would say just take things at your own pace and be honest with each other.
Clubs are good because you can do as much or as little as you want.
When my wife and I first went we used a closed room where could be watched but it was just us.
We progressed from there.
Just have fun ! |
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We would say experienced otherwise you all might spend all night looking at each all to shy to get things going when you all want to do is jump on each other (this has happened to us lol)
Start chatting on Fab to people that you would like to meet and just guage from your gut instinct (you won't be far wrong)
Explain your feelings about swinging and if they are decent people they will understand and take things at your pace
Hope all that makes sense |
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"Do you think it's better to meet newbies or experienced ????"
It can happen with new couples that everyone sits there looking at each other it has happened to us more than once.
However meeting theright couple is far more important. A couple that is a genuine as can be and is prepared to chill and encourage things along at a pace everyone happy and comfortable with.
I would say 'just be honest' maybe Mr could have a chat with the male half of any couple you may meet. That's what we would do. Chilled out relaxed fun is what works best for us. Sounds to us like you guys need just the same.
Maybe a club is a good place to socialise and meet like minded people but it can be overwhelming in the play areas. Maybe the private areas with a suitable couple or arrange to play after a club visit. We have made loads of friends in clubs who we have played with after a night out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think it's better to meet newbies or experienced ????"
doesnt matter who you meet as long as you are all comfortable in each others company.
an experience couple MAY push too fast, you never know
a newbie couple MAY be happy to learn as you do so could be to your advantage.
IF it gets to the point where you want to do something, maybe start slowly, soft play to begin with.
girl on girl then own partners, until he is happy doing things in others company.
we have met a couple where the guy cant perform in front of other people, so he just plays with her (which is frustrating for missus, but its how they roll)
good luck with it and hope you get to where you want to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go to clubs, socials with no expectancy to play get familiar with swinging but don't play learn to feel comfortable around swingers and make friends before you play perhaps stay away from open play areas to beging with and just baby steps, good luck and remember it's all about having fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have been clubbing 5 times and nerves have got the better each time then does he really want to swing? Or is fantasy better than reality?
You mention he's had multiple previous partners, but thats not the same as swinging. Has he ever had group sex? Is he uncomfortable with the idea of seeing you with someone else?
And if you've only been together 6 months, and he's not 100% comfortable just what is the rush? Could he not be feeling under pressure which would just add to his nerves? |
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Hi male here, I just haven't seen anyone at the club I feel attracted to if I'm being honest. Due to the bad relationship I had its knocked my confidence etc. as I was always treated very badly. I think the advice others have given about socials would be a great place to start, so I think we need to start looking properly. I don't feel pressured at all by my partner and she will take it as slow or as quickly as we want...... I am sure it will all pan out.
I have had group sex several times before but that was a few years ago.
I think it's like most things, you just need to take the plunge ....... Instead of dipping things in willy nilly lol xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi male here, I just haven't seen anyone at the club I feel attracted to if I'm being honest. Due to the bad relationship I had its knocked my confidence etc. as I was always treated very badly. I think the advice others have given about socials would be a great place to start, so I think we need to start looking properly. I don't feel pressured at all by my partner and she will take it as slow or as quickly as we want...... I am sure it will all pan out.
I have had group sex several times before but that was a few years ago.
I think it's like most things, you just need to take the plunge ....... Instead of dipping things in willy nilly lol xxx"
and going too far too fast COULD possibly cause you both irreperable damage to your fledgling relationship.
must say, i still think that maybe soft play to ease yourselves into things would be best right now, playing, but not going too far.
then, whilst you are in the situation and you all want to go a little further then you can do, no pressure to start with |
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"Hi male here, I just haven't seen anyone at the club I feel attracted to if I'm being honest. Due to the bad relationship I had its knocked my confidence etc. as I was always treated very badly. I think the advice others have given about socials would be a great place to start, so I think we need to start looking properly. I don't feel pressured at all by my partner and she will take it as slow or as quickly as we want...... I am sure it will all pan out.
I have had group sex several times before but that was a few years ago.
I think it's like most things, you just need to take the plunge ....... Instead of dipping things in willy nilly lol xxx"
No one? In 5 or 6 times?
Change the venue  |
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