FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > falied to provide a verification

falied to provide a verification

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi,

We met a couple recently and really enjoyed the time we had with them and they really seemed to enjoy it aswell. We provided them with a verification, but they have not accepted it and have not provided one for us. We can only assume that they did not enjoy it as much as we thought they did. Has this ever happened to anyone else on a meet? Please help, as my confidence has really taken a nosedive!!

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman over a year ago

Glenrothes

People display or don't display verifications for all sorts of reasons, so I wouldn't take that element personally. Also, it may be that they don't send out verifications, or just haven't had the opportunity to do one back. Whatever the reason, I wouldn't let it get to you. You have verifications already so obviously aren't timewasters and others have enjoyed your company. Advice on this would be to let it go and move on, but above all, keep having fun.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Yes. You get used to it.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

they may not have got round to go into their verifications and display it..

honestly, I wouldn't worry.. some are into verifications, some are not.

just keep on having fun and if they contact you both for a repeat visit, they enjoyed... then you decide IF you want to repeat.

all the best

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By *eryBigGirlWoman over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Yeah don't read too much into it. I've met a few guys who just never leave veris but they always come back so it can't be about not having fun. Onwards and upwards I say

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would not worry about it.Some people don't attach to much importance to verifications.As you had a good time when you met, and the other couple seemed to, thats the main thing.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Some write them, some don't.

Some display them, some don't.

The main thing is that you enjoyed the meet.

You may have scuppered your chance for a repeat meet with your post or you may have made them think of you and contact you.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

we've met people who have provided others with verifications but not us however we still meet them and have good times together.

The thing with this lark is that you need to grow a tough skin, you will have to reject people and you will receive rejection in various forms and there is no alternative but to get used to it or spend valuable time worrying about it. If you allow a lack of verification to dent your confidence you will suffer and that isn't what we're here for

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

OP why don't you ask them?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you been in contact since the meet? There are so many reasons why people don't give or display verifications,not always because they did'nt enjoy themselves

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't worry about it

At the end of the day if you enjoyed it that's all that really matters x

Verifications are at the end of the day one person _iew of what happened at a said time and place -

Some ppl do not need a verification or like verifications.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi,

yes I've done same as you. Made me think I was crap and I felt crap but it's life if you enjoyed yourself then good, like been said they probably haven't got round to it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't show mine and I rarely give any but you can be assured that the guy ive played with will know if ive had a great time,a second meet is usually proof of that

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By *ohohoWoman over a year ago

Up North

I understand your frustration. I have met guys who display my verification but don't write one back.

But what I find insulting is when I write them one, it is not displayed, and none is wrote for me, but the next meet they have a verification is wrote by both parties and is displayed. Makes me think they are embarrassed to have met me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have they been in touch if so ask if they enjoyed meet ,it might just be they don't write veris or had no time or just forgot. I won't write one first anymore as this has happened to me and I don't display mine though lots of hassle a while back so wouldn't bother me now if they write one or not ....I have has lots wanting repeats so can't be all bad lol . Hope your next meet puts a smile on your face

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

[Removed by poster at 01/09/13 10:35:13]

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I understand your frustration. I have met guys who display my verification but don't write one back.

Or after a social when you notice yours is the only veri not displayed. I felt that they didn't want others to know they'd met me (we didn't even play!) and it did hurt. But at least I know where I stand now with them and know not to contact them for future meets.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

see... had this the other day and I think I am about to say the same thing...

what is the fixation?????

if you are writing a verification to get one back... then it is being done for the wrong reason....

think of them as little gifts...

its all very petty and playground ish.....

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"see... had this the other day and I think I am about to say the same thing...

what is the fixation?????

if you are writing a verification to get one back... then it is being done for the wrong reason....

think of them as little gifts...

its all very petty and playground ish..... "

We're not all as phlegmatic as you Fabio.

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By *ohohoWoman over a year ago

Up North

"I understand your frustration. I have met guys who display my verification but don't write one back.

Exactly. At least you can rule them out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"see... had this the other day and I think I am about to say the same thing...

what is the fixation?????

if you are writing a verification to get one back... then it is being done for the wrong reason....

think of them as little gifts...

its all very petty and playground ish..... "

Saved me from typing a very long message trying to say the same thing but failing badly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/09/13 10:55:47]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi,

I never ask for or provide verifications, what I do in my swinging life is private,

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for your help, everyone - they have plenty of verifications shown on their profile and have provided verifications for many other people, which is why I am worried.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldnt let it worry you although like Fabio said it does seem a little childish especially if your checking their verifications when they have met others. We met a couple last week and ive only just got round to giving them a veri but I dont check to see if they have displayed it or expect one in return.... after all its their profile and choice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I will give a veri if asked but not bother if not. I don't display any, as I get 'Oh, you'll meet him, but not me'...it's just a nuisance. Anyway, my activities are my business.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"see... had this the other day and I think I am about to say the same thing...

what is the fixation?????

if you are writing a verification to get one back... then it is being done for the wrong reason....

think of them as little gifts...

its all very petty and playground ish..... "

can't they gift back then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always have my lap top to hand and insist a nice verification is written before I allow my meet to leave.

Saves the trauma of any mental anguish afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I understand your frustration. I have met guys who display my verification but don't write one back.

But your profile is hidden......

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By *livia_KWoman over a year ago

South London

I really don't understand the problem. I've met people who haven't left me a veri and I don't veri everyone I meet either. Not bothered either way. If it's about insecurities and being worried about them maybe not enjoying the meet as much as you thought or something (which may very well not be the case) then you need to deal with your own insecurities and not make it someone else's problem.

Besides, leaving a veri is not a requirement of the site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I really don't understand the problem. I've met people who haven't left me a veri and I don't veri everyone I meet either. Not bothered either way. If it's about insecurities and being worried about them maybe not enjoying the meet as much as you thought or something (which may very well not be the case) then you need to deal with your own insecurities and not make it someone else's problem.

Besides, leaving a veri is not a requirement of the site."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not eBay, lol

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By *zanyCouple over a year ago

truro

We always explain why we won't publish verificatios, as there are all sorts of reasons . Some mention our real names for example. If you are upset just ask the couple involved, sure they will let you know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always have my lap top tand and insist a nice verification is written before I allow my meet to leave.

Saves the trauma of any mental anguish afterwards."

omg! I hope you are joking!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always have my lap top to hand and insist a nice verification is written before I allow my meet to leave.

Saves the trauma of any mental anguish afterwards."

, really ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some people won't leave a verification, because they meet someone that's different to what they want on their profile, and has coused problems...

Is it about the meets or the verification

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always have my lap top to hand and insist a nice verification is written before I allow my meet to leave.

Saves the trauma of any mental anguish afterwards."

Haha, can't be done, something about the same ip address can't verify another account on the same ip address, but....

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By *ohohoWoman over a year ago

Up North

We all know the logic and reasons why people don't leave verifications. Unfortunately most of us are emotional rather than logical creatures. Therefore some of us feel offended, even when we shouldn't be.

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By *eareenaCouple over a year ago

Rockford

"We all know the logic and reasons why people don't leave verifications. Unfortunately most of us are emotional rather than logical creatures. Therefore some of us feel offended, even when we shouldn't be. "

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"It's not eBay, lol"

It certainly isn't. Negatives are shown on eBay, which is what people get if they bug me for feedback. Usually with the comment "Here's the feedback you bugged me for"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It happened a few times to me. I wasn't so much offended when it happened as apprehensive - had he enjoyed less than he said he had? But we stayed in touch, and all's well. Another non-confirmer hasn't been back but says he will, and he'll be more than welcome. All in all - my memories are happy ones, so I guess that's more important than the verification.

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By *ohohoWoman over a year ago

Up North

[Removed by poster at 02/09/13 09:37:49]

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"It's not eBay, lol"

Lmao!

But just like ebay, some leave feedback, some don't, as long as you're happy with the goods, just move on

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By *odareyouMan over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"I always have my lap top to hand and insist a nice verification is written before I allow my meet to leave.

Saves the trauma of any mental anguish afterwards."

Somebody get me out,,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I choose to leave veri some Show them some dont,some leave me one some dont,use to feel oh i must have been crap,but then some meet again so cant be all bad,dosent bother me now,you get use to it x just ask them if U wondering why,i don't bother meself got anough anyhow for people to know I do meet x newbies are the worse for Not leaving them they ask me to Do it,then dont Do me one in return cheeky wotsits lol

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By *ohohoWoman over a year ago

Up North

Just had a thought (yes it hurt). You can't check if you sent a verification. Perhaps one was never sent by you in the first place. I have recently had the same where I had simply not sent one yet I thought I had.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good point.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have provided a veri for someone I met but they chose not to show it, although it has given them a veri-flag. They did not give me one. However they explained their reasons and I am happy to accept that is their way.

What can be disturbing, as the OP said, is where you send one and you just get ignored. It takes precisely 3 seconds to write "No thank you" and post. Is that too much to ask?

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I only display social veris, play ones are private in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ask them if they want one.

I told my last meet I'd verify him as he had no verifications. He responded with not needing it as a badge. I explained it would open doors for him as many people will not meet unverified members.

He then offered to verify me to which I responded it was purely his choice.

Bottom line the most important veri is that initial one to go some way in proving you're somewhat genuine.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"Ask them if they want one.

I told my last meet I'd verify him as he had no verifications. He responded with not needing it as a badge. I explained it would open doors for him as many people will not meet unverified members.

He then offered to verify me to which I responded it was purely his choice.

Bottom line the most important veri is that initial one to go some way in proving you're somewhat genuine."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I fully understand and posted something similar recently x Its hurtful if you make the effort and they dont bother! I got my veris in the end by just " blocking" if you block it snatches it back ...childish maybe ... i see it as my Dom side coming out x ,,,, pronto veris as promised !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi,

I wouldn't read to much in to it. Yes it's a bit disappointing but there could be so many reasons.

For all you know they could be having a bust up because the male or female part of the couple enjoyed the male/female part of you a "little to much".

You just don't know what's going on inside their heads. If it bothers you so much and you got on well then why not try messaging them.

Some people just don't bother with veri's though

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By *londeCazWoman over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"I always have my lap top to hand and insist a nice verification is written before I allow my meet to leave.

Saves the trauma of any mental anguish afterwards."

I do something similar...I allow my meets to THINK they'll be able to leave after writing a glowing veri, then it's down to the cellar for them - that reminds me, must pick up a few more bags of quicklime, it's starting to pong down there again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would always leave a verification to those have met and its up to them if they show it or not or respond with one at all.

In fact there are many couples have met multiple times at parties socials and private meets that have never verified me, as they don't do them as dont normally meet single guys and have found if give them out to a single guy they get bombarded by all and sundry on here, can see their point.

As for hurt feelings can see how people can take it the wrong way, would be blunt and ask them if your that worried if your a bad lay, if they say you are then get some more practice

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Hi,

Some prefer not to verify. Some like to only display certain ones. If you over think this you're only hurting yourself.

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Not everyone leaves them it doesn't mean anything.

I met a hot guy recently and sent him one, he's not showing it and not sent one back but messages plenty and wants to see me again, don't let in knock you as it's not about that.

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