FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > help please cheat??
help please cheat??
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the ex she tried to split us before...basically bad mouthing me and trying to win him over..he dont like me sleeping with men but mentioned the other day if I wanted to it be oki..just made me suspicious  |
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"he know I have this profile he surgested it...plus I dont trust her as far as I could throw her??"
Couldn't you state that you're attached but playing with your bf's consent? At least people would know the score before deciding to play with you.
I can understand the frustration regarding your bf's ex though ... the fact HE suggested you play away would ring alarm bells with me - like he possibly plans to do the same and knowing you're playing elsewhere would justify him doing it too.
The problem is that you've let the genie out of the bottle now - you know something you're not supposed to.
Maybe a frank conversation with your bf is called for - perhaps discuss why he suggested you play alone and bring up the subject of secrets and trust. |
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"I was worried for genuine reason..but I cant have this convo with him at min for certain reason but just have sick feeling that she make her move  "
No one can "take" him from you: he'll stay or go if he wants. |
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Have I got this right. He has suggested you come on this site yet he don't like you sleeping with other men. You day the text he got from the ex is harmless yet is bad mouthing you. That's not harmless. Not going to make assumptions about what is going on but can say swinging really is for people in a secure relationship even if you do play alone. Personally I think you should leave this lifestyle well alone and get your relationship sorted. The only way that's going to happen is by face to face communication. X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have I got this right. He has suggested you come on this site yet he don't like you sleeping with other men. You day the text he got from the ex is harmless yet is bad mouthing you. That's not harmless. Not going to make assumptions about what is going on but can say swinging really is for people in a secure relationship even if you do play alone. Personally I think you should leave this lifestyle well alone and get your relationship sorted. The only way that's going to happen is by face to face communication. X
"
and a threesome, with pics and vids...for us |
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"I was worried for genuine reason..but I cant have this convo with him at min for certain reason but just have sick feeling that she make her move
No one can "take" him from you: he'll stay or go if he wants. "
Oh I don't know ... if the ex is clever and does a subtle but thorough character assassination on the OP then that could influence her bf's decision. In that sense, it's very possible to 'take' him away (not saying that's what's happening here - just throwing the possibility out there) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help I have found tex on bf fone but harmless but from an ex what do I do?? cant say anything can I...?? please help  "
I found out a long time ago (my kids were junior school age) that my husband wasn't at work one day when I phoned to speak to him about something. They said he had the day off. I covered up because they obviously thought I knew and that he was with me. He wasn't. Later I checked his phone and found a text from a female workmate inviting him to her flat for "tea & cake." Hes a coffee drinker!. Anyway, he wasn't at home so only one place he could be. She had a boyfriend she lived with, later they married. Sorry to hijack your thread like this but I told my best friend, anyway, basically I have never asked him to this day some 20 ish years later, that is when the rot set in for me. I still wonder even now, so if you think you can stand not to know the truth, then don't ask him but he knows about your profile, you have his consent, if he is no longer happy with this arrangement, he should tell you but what do I know? Anyway, sorry for long rant I guess, its not meant to be just wouldn't want you to be like me. |
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nope he knows about it and yes she bad mouth me before..this one tex was harmless but she devious too...she one on these size 6 clothes girl think she it and im self conscious as it is...so dont help as he prefers skinny girl |
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"nope he knows about it and yes she bad mouth me before..this one tex was harmless but she devious too...she one on these size 6 clothes girl think she it and im self conscious as it is...so dont help as he prefers skinny girl"
So you swing but separately but he doesn't like you sleeping with guys ?
I just dont understand your situation and its hard to without you explaining it bit more clearly.
Does he know you're on here ?
Are you in an open relationship ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"nope he knows about it and yes she bad mouth me before..this one tex was harmless but she devious too...she one on these size 6 clothes girl think she it and im self conscious as it is...so dont help as he prefers skinny girl"
I couldn't see your pics, not that I compare sizes. Im a size 18, am guessing you aren't "skinny", he loves you hopefully, maybe that's a bit romantic of me, but if so, he should be happy with the woman he fell in love with.
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"I love girl on girl so he said I can have this profile to play...and no open we together but only I can play with girls"
Well im just throwing it out there but your profile doesn't really say any of that and your verification is from a guy.
Maybe its a bit confusing for him ?
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"nope he knows about it and yes she bad mouth me before..this one tex was harmless but she devious too...she one on these size 6 clothes girl think she it and im self conscious as it is...so dont help as he prefers skinny girl"
So you snooped on your partners phone and found a text that was harmless from his ex ?
I guess the problem is like Mrs Cherry loves to say "trust is like a mirror you can put it back together but you always see the cracks".
you can confront him and show that you clearly don't trust him and show that even though he chose you that you are still unable to fully trust him.
Or you can accept it was a harmless text, trust him and move on.
Those are your options but all of this smacks of someone pushing their own insecurity's and issues onto someone else.
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"nope he knows about it and yes she bad mouth me before..this one tex was harmless but she devious too...she one on these size 6 clothes girl think she it and im self conscious as it is...so dont help as he prefers skinny girl
So you snooped on your partners phone and found a text that was harmless from his ex ?
I guess the problem is like Mrs Cherry loves to say "trust is like a mirror you can put it back together but you always see the cracks".
you can confront him and show that you clearly don't trust him and show that even though he chose you that you are still unable to fully trust him.
Or you can accept it was a harmless text, trust him and move on.
Those are your options but all of this smacks of someone pushing their own insecurity's and issues onto someone else.
"
I no I have insecurity issuse but it my weight more then anything and I do trust him well it her I was checking to see if he was oki after bein sacked..cuz he been quite alot and has been texin alot I was just worried |
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"I guess the problem is like Mrs Cherry loves to say "trust is like a mirror you can put it back together but you always see the cracks"."
What the hell? do i hell say that? Lamest quote ever and im no Lady Gaga lover. (Op sorry for hijacking your thread but these men gotta know their places) Mrs x |
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"I guess the problem is like Mrs Cherry loves to say "trust is like a mirror you can put it back together but you always see the cracks".
What the hell? do i hell say that? Lamest quote ever and im no Lady Gaga lover. (Op sorry for hijacking your thread but these men gotta know their places) Mrs x"
lol its oki u made me laugh maybe it nothing and I should say nothinf n keep eye on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess the problem is like Mrs Cherry loves to say "trust is like a mirror you can put it back together but you always see the cracks".
What the hell? do i hell say that? Lamest quote ever and im no Lady Gaga lover. (Op sorry for hijacking your thread but these men gotta know their places) Mrs x"
I liked the crack part..sexually of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"nope he knows about it and yes she bad mouth me before..this one tex was harmless but she devious too...she one on these size 6 clothes girl think she it and im self conscious as it is...so dont help as he prefers skinny girl
So you snooped on your partners phone and found a text that was harmless from his ex ?
I guess the problem is like Mrs Cherry loves to say "trust is like a mirror you can put it back together but you always see the cracks".
you can confront him and show that you clearly don't trust him and show that even though he chose you that you are still unable to fully trust him.
Or you can accept it was a harmless text, trust him and move on.
Those are your options but all of this smacks of someone pushing their own insecurity's and issues onto someone else.
I no I have insecurity issuse but it my weight more then anything and I do trust him well it her I was checking to see if he was oki after bein sacked..cuz he been quite alot and has been texin alot I was just worried"
I lost 4 stone 2 years ago, made no difference to my husband at all. he never came near me fat or slim. subsequently im fat again and insecure too if im honest. men like curves though ive been told |
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ive been told that too but think he prefers skinny im trying to lose it I walk ever were cut meals down and even in weight loss tablets but he dont seem to notice if he cant see bone I said I wish I was size six but he said I do to I could pick u up and fuck u then so is that insult or compliment??  |
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Op i would keep an eye on it too, if it starts getting a regular thing or the content isnt appropriate then id mention it (subtly!) but if you start accusing him now and its an innocent text message shes only won. Also slim or curvy you are beautiful as you are! Dont let anyone try to change you (im aware this is corny) Good luck x
"
I liked the crack part..sexually of course"
You men are all obsessed with cracks!! Dirty..  x |
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"Op i would keep an eye on it too, if it starts getting a regular thing or the content isnt appropriate then id mention it (subtly!) but if you start accusing him now and its an innocent text message shes only won. Also slim or curvy you are beautiful as you are! Dont let anyone try to change you (im aware this is corny) Good luck x
I liked the crack part..sexually of course
You men are all obsessed with cracks!! Dirty.. x"
thank you hun..I no I should believe that..I uset to not care untill I met him and he felt like my soul mate...but then she keeps texing |
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"Have I got this right. He has suggested you come on this site yet he don't like you sleeping with other men. You day the text he got from the ex is harmless yet is bad mouthing you. That's not harmless. Not going to make assumptions about what is going on but can say swinging really is for people in a secure relationship even if you do play alone. Personally I think you should leave this lifestyle well alone and get your relationship sorted. The only way that's going to happen is by face to face communication. X
"
Very good advice!  |
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"ive been told that too but think he prefers skinny im trying to lose it I walk ever were cut meals down and even in weight loss tablets but he dont seem to notice if he cant see bone I said I wish I was size six but he said I do to I could pick u up and fuck u then so is that insult or compliment?? "
...Erm... How did YOU feel when he made that comment?
- Amy. x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have been reading through this thread with interest. I'd say stop worrying and accept he's playing away. Now you like a bit of girl on girl and he knows, so suggest he joins you and you both play together. He won't let you play with other guys firstly do you want to play with other guys if you do just do it and if you don't steer clear (the male verification doesn't help). Maybe you should meet other couples together. Lastly this thing about your weight this is a classic control mechanism on his part you need to be who you are not who he wants you to be and if that's not enough it's his problem. Sorry to say but he sounds a bit of a dick. But suppose he can't help it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But if he ok with you on here whats the issue perhaps whilst he seems ok he may be saying that to keep you happy rather than what he wants.
Maybe come off fab discuss and fight for him if he worth it case of priorities really. |
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Hmmm, I'm a bit confused by what your profile says "what would you do if I was your best friends girlfriend". What do you expect them to do? Something similar to what you suspect your boyfriend of? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry OP but I'm confused. If you've gone through his phone you already thought sonething was up and if you didn't that's a serious compromise of your BFs privacy.
The thing I don't understand is why you can't talk to you other half about this? Open & honest communication is the most important thing in any relationship, if you've not got that what have you got?
I also agree as another poster has said you should have on your profile you are attached and I won't even go into the "my bf doesn't like me sleeping with other men" thing, apart from if that's the case.....what are you doing on here?
Good luck OP but you need to take a long hard look at your relationship and what you want.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he wants you he will stay; whatever texts she send him.
If he wants to go; criticising and stalking him will make it happen faster.
Sit back and relax and ask him why she is sending texts if you must.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Limited info but this is my take .... Sounds like you're his transitional relationship and he hasn't yet fallen out of love with his ex. His pain from the break up is being transferred to you in the form sly digs about your weight and by having you see others - he's controlling it but he will feel jealousy. It's selfish behaviour, using someone else's fragile emotions to fix your own.
.... or he's a twat playing away
.... or the text(s) are harmless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"nope he knows about it and yes she bad mouth me before..this one tex was harmless but she devious too...she one on these size 6 clothes girl think she it and im self conscious as it is...so dont help as he prefers skinny girlI couldn't see your pics, not that I compare sizes. Im a size 18, am guessing you aren't "skinny", he loves you hopefully, maybe that's a bit romantic of me, but if so, he should be happy with the woman he fell in love with. "
size 6..id run for the hills from a women that size. Meat all the way for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive been told that too but think he prefers skinny im trying to lose it I walk ever were cut meals down and even in weight loss tablets but he dont seem to notice if he cant see bone I said I wish I was size six but he said I do to I could pick u up and fuck u then so is that insult or compliment?? "
That is an insult and I would have ended it there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive been told that too but think he prefers skinny im trying to lose it I walk ever were cut meals down and even in weight loss tablets but he dont seem to notice if he cant see bone I said I wish I was size six but he said I do to I could pick u up and fuck u then so is that insult or compliment??
That is an insult and I would have ended it there"
You and me both....! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"and that comment about being a best friend girlfriend isnt ment in any sexual way only as if u new then what"
I have to say that I agree with others here. Admittedly you know that something is wrong, or you wouldn't have checked his phone. I know you believe he's your soulmate but that doesn't mean he feels the same way about you... Particularly if you are essentially his rebound.
If you're comfortable with the idea of having an ffm threesome it would possibly prevent him playing away, but that assumes he is playing away with other random women; if it's his ex then there's not really much you can do- it's up to him, and all you can do is find a way to get him to talk to you. Also the threesome idea isn't a sensible plan if you're already self-conscious about your weight, it'll just bring those insecurities to the front of your mind, and probably aggravate the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the ex she tried to split us before...basically bad mouthing me and trying to win him over..he dont like me sleeping with men but mentioned the other day if I wanted to it be oki..just made me suspicious "
he mentioned the other day he dont like you fucking other guys but if you want to then ok..... but youve been fucking othet men since 4 months ago....
sounds like if its just you fucking others then thats fine but if he might be then youre not a happy bunny...
your relationship needs some sorting with the sounds of it. |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
The fact that you felt the need to check his phone in the first place tells me you have major trust issues with your other half. As far as I'm concerned if you don't have trust in a relationship you have nothing.
I would NEVER check a partner's phone and if my partner ever went through my phone he would be in SERIOUS trouble. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive been told that too but think he prefers skinny im trying to lose it I walk ever were cut meals down and even in weight loss tablets but he dont seem to notice if he cant see bone I said I wish I was size six but he said I do to I could pick u up and fuck u then so is that insult or compliment??
That is an insult and I would have ended it there
You and me both....! "
It's a sex site, anything written will be _iewed in a sexual way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok on the sketchy info so far in the thread.
You need to have a break from fab as you have serious body image issues which will only be magnified on a site like this also your relationship is in piss poor state. You don't trust him you invaded his privacy and you think he has an issue with your weight.
Have a talk don't mention the text as that would put his back up straight away but find out what he wants and let him know what you want
Only after this can either of you move forward |
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"nope he knows about it and yes she bad mouth me before..this one tex was harmless but she devious too...she one on these size 6 clothes girl think she it and im self conscious as it is...so dont help as he prefers skinny girl
So you snooped on your partners phone and found a text that was harmless from his ex ?
I guess the problem is like Mrs Cherry loves to say "trust is like a mirror you can put it back together but you always see the cracks".
you can confront him and show that you clearly don't trust him and show that even though he chose you that you are still unable to fully trust him.
Or you can accept it was a harmless text, trust him and move on.
Those are your options but all of this smacks of someone pushing their own insecurity's and issues onto someone else.
"
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"if it not advice please dont comment im generally looking for help"
Advice doesn't always come I'm the form you want it to. You may take it or leave it but you asked and people are responding many suggesting that you examine your own behaviour as closely as you examine his. |
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"I was worried for genuine reason..but I cant have this convo with him at min for certain reason but just have sick feeling that she make her move
No one can "take" him from you: he'll stay or go if he wants.
Oh I don't know ... if the ex is clever and does a subtle but thorough character assassination on the OP then that could influence her bf's decision. In that sense, it's very possible to 'take' him away (not saying that's what's happening here - just throwing the possibility out there)"
One thing we all have is free will. From personal experience when I've been in a relationship other men don't register on a sexual level: Daniel Craig couldn't lure me away, however, once my interest has waned Hugh Hefner might have a chance.
No one can lure away someone that doesn't want to go. |
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"I need help I have found tex on bf fone but harmless but from an ex what do I do?? cant say anything can I...?? please help "
If you cannot talk to him about this why are you in a relationship with him? You're on a swinging site yet are unable to communicate with him?
She won't take him from you he will go of his own free accord and nothing you can do will stop him.
Tell him you have seen the text and ask him to stop contacting her if it make you that upset
a word of caution , if he likes skinny girls (and some guys do) don;t try and change. You will be miserable and he will probably too... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive been told that too but think he prefers skinny im trying to lose it I walk ever were cut meals down and even in weight loss tablets but he dont seem to notice if he cant see bone I said I wish I was size six but he said I do to I could pick u up and fuck u then so is that insult or compliment?? "
It's hard when you love someone but are you sure he is the one for you. If he loves you he should love you whatever size you are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if it not advice please dont comment im generally looking for help"
maybe tex on your boyfriends phone and ask .. what its all about .. it would be out in the open and you can move on . If he has nothing to hide and her will be fine.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help I have found tex on bf fone but harmless but from an ex what do I do?? cant say anything can I...?? please help "
What on earth are you doing going through your boyfriends phone?Havent you heard of Pandoras box? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if it not advice please dont comment im generally looking for help
Advice doesn't always come I'm the form you want it to. You may take it or leave it but you asked and people are responding many suggesting that you examine your own behaviour as closely as you examine his."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the way to a lasting relationship is being open and honest; talk to him, tell him what you have seen. After that whatever will be, will be."
this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmmm. If he knows u have a profile best bets is he knows ur profile name.
You may not have to say anything at all once he sees the comments here.
With everything else that's been said I think the most important think is you. You are what you are. Seize is a no. Think there s a bit of controlling going on with him towards you.
Don't do anything that ur not comfortable doing and if ur only doing it to pls him, think ur going down a very slippery road. And that's coming from a married male on here (not afraid to say it as honesty is bedt policy).
Everyone here on this site are here for there own reasons. There are some lovely genuine people on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help I have found tex on bf fone but harmless but from an ex what do I do?? cant say anything can I...?? please help "
Really struggle with people being together enough to be swingers, but having a problem with ex's. Both J and I invited ex's to our wedding, and still 'do lunch' with them occasionally. How the hell do you trust somebody enough to be involved with swinging, but not trust them to be around partners they have already moved on from? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I no I shouldnt of checked but ive just found him on a chat thing talking to other women on that what now"
He's doing the same thing as you. You're on a swinging site talking to other guys, so why shouldn't he follow you're example and be on a site talking to women?
You need to talk a long hard look at this relationship, from an out sider only knowing what you've shared on here.....walk away, this isn't an open honest and trusting relationship. He's making you unhappy & you can't talk to him......that's no basis for any relationship, especially a swinging relationship. |
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I am always deeply suspicious (being a cynical old bag) when someone posts a problem and to every piece of advice they are offered has a "reason" why they can't take it or comes up with further evidence to back up their initial post. If you're waiting for a particular piece of advice to give credence to suspicions you already have and possibly to give you an excuse to behave in a certain way you might be in for a long wait. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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beong honest, he is going to leave you.
not because he loves her more, or you less, hell, he possibly wont even go back to her and may be using her as a get out, i wouldnt know.
smacks to me of him being worried you are doing whatever it is you are doing on here and looking for a way out now.
he said you said you could come on here on your own, personally, if either of us said it to the other, we would have said 'thanks but no thanks' as we love each other to bits and would forsake all others, to use the vow terminology.
tbf if this was a bloke there would be more 'your a cheating barsteward' posts than helpful ones, so you have got away lightly so far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I no I shouldnt of checked but ive just found him on a chat thing talking to other women on that what now"
sorry but leave him. If you want to meet men and women then do so. He originally gave you the ok but to only meet women!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I really don't know what answers your looking for on here for every bit of advice given a new bit of info has come to light.
As we said in an earlier post you have serious issues both within your relationship and your own head. The only way to sort any of this out is through communication.
The new thing of chatting to women is it just chat is he doing something ? At the end of the day you are on here for your own needs but don't like that's he's doing this. Do you show him everything that you do on the site ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well Afew questions spring to
Mind, what size were you when you met him? We're you roughly the size you are now? If so what's the problem? ( it smacks of control ) secondly why where you going through his phone? If you don't trust him, should you be on here ? Trust is a two way street, if you dont trust him why are you on a swinging site, after all it's sex doesn't matter if sex is with a man or woman sex is sex. It's ok for you to play away but not him? Sounds like you need to give up swinging and concentrate on what's wrong on your relationship. No one can be taken away from someone unless they want to be ........ |
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I was looking cuz he was sacked and has gone all weird so I was concerned and he wouldn't talk to me..I was ruffly a size 10 I'm at 12 now...I did trust him but now I don't no look like I was wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you need some you time... to love you & forget about this guy & fab for a bit.
A size 12 is still small & that fact you don't truly worries me. I don't think I've been a 12 ever!! And if he's not able to fling a woman of ur size around the bedroom then he's weak, needs to join a gym & stop worrying about your physic & start working on his own!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't understand why you'd bash through his phone texts if you are concerned about his wellbeing, surely having empathy and talking would have been more sensible.
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"I no I shouldnt of checked but ive just found him on a chat thing talking to other women on that what nowsorry but leave him. If you want to meet men and women then do so. He originally gave you the ok but to only meet women!!"
What the hell is this? |
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"I am always deeply suspicious (being a cynical old bag) when someone posts a problem and to every piece of advice they are offered has a "reason" why they can't take it or comes up with further evidence to back up their initial post. If you're waiting for a particular piece of advice to give credence to suspicions you already have and possibly to give you an excuse to behave in a certain way you might be in for a long wait."
I'm a cynical old bag too as I thought that from the opening post as I don't believe any adult on this site needs a group of strangers to point out the bleeding obvious!  |
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"I was looking cuz he was sacked and has gone all weird so I was concerned and he wouldn't talk to me..I was ruffly a size 10 I'm at 12 now...I did trust him but now I don't no look like I was wrong "
He goes weird and you invade his privacy?!! I can see the correlation: not!
Wow!!! Sorry, I can see why he may be straying, you've really let yourself go: size 12 from a 10?!! You're enormous!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does no one else smell something fishy if u check the op profile and their one verifixarion?
both profiles written the same way and op only here to meet woman yet veri is a guy
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"I was looking cuz he was sacked and has gone all weird so I was concerned and he wouldn't talk to me..I was ruffly a size 10 I'm at 12 now...I did trust him but now I don't no look like I was wrong
He goes weird and you invade his privacy?!! I can see the correlation: not!
Wow!!! Sorry, I can see why he may be straying, you've really let yourself go: size 12 from a 10?!! You're enormous!!! "
That's me off to work with a smile on my porky old size 12 face. I have the day from hell ahead of me but when things get tough I will know that someone out there has it tougher. Lol!  |
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"Does no one else smell something fishy if u check the op profile and their one verifixarion?
both profiles written the same way and op only here to meet woman yet veri is a guy
"
Yep hence the cynical old bag comment. I really do try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and the school holidays are almost over. |
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"I was looking cuz he was sacked and has gone all weird so I was concerned and he wouldn't talk to me..I was ruffly a size 10 I'm at 12 now...I did trust him but now I don't no look like I was wrong
He goes weird and you invade his privacy?!! I can see the correlation: not!
Wow!!! Sorry, I can see why he may be straying, you've really let yourself go: size 12 from a 10?!! You're enormous!!!
That's me off to work with a smile on my porky old size 12 face. I have the day from hell ahead of me but when things get tough I will know that someone out there has it tougher. Lol! "
I'm a size 12 too: well my left side is 12 so is my right side...sounds much better than 24!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds to me you don't trust him.... Regardless of his ex or what she tries ..if he is happy with you then there is no problem, unless you or him feel like you are not happy then there might be reason for concern ... |
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I once read a text on my GF phone which caused me to worry. After it was eating away at me I had to confront her, she explained what it was about and it was nothing really. Guess what I'm trying to say is, reading your partners messages can sometimes leave your thoughts going in the wrong directions driving you made, if you are suspicious of your partner cheating you can sometimes read the text in the wrong context leaving you worrying about something of nothing that's why I no longer read my GF's messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to get your head sorted not your boyfriend. Self esteem seems quite a problem for you and that can wreck relationships if you are constantly pulling yourself down.
Look in the mirror and see the good bits not concentrate on the things you don't like.
If someone gives you a compliment say "thank you" not "but ...."
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be aware he's looking for other relationships. be aware his ex don't like you. leave his phone alone. if he's just been sacked he migh t want someone to talk to .don't beat yourself up about your size. good luck but be prepared for the breakup. talk .don't nag. support rather than blame. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The truth of the matter is no one on this site can give you the correct answer to your question. We don't know all the facts, only what you are telling us and even then there's probably loads of little things that you are not mentioning whether good or bad.
At the end of the day you know your BF so only you know if there's something a miss. From experience I'd say go with your gut but just make sure you are 100% certain before you start accusing him of anything (i'll come on to that in a min).
I would advise that maybe fab or any other swinging site isn't the right place for you to be at this moment in time if there are trust issues on either side because it will just complicate things.
Like I said you know your boyfriend not anyone on here so if alarm bells are going off ie he's acting suspicious then there is probably a reason for it. However, if you read the text first and then started to think something wasn't right then It could easily be your imagination.
I don't think you mentioned what was in the text or if he replied. if you did I missed it and I apologise.
So plan of action? If you are to sit him down and chat then be honest, tell him you aren't happy with him speaking to his ex. It's a fair comment and he should be happy to cut contact (unless they are best friends and you knew this before you got together).
If you honestly believe something is going on then (remembering what I said about you recognising if he's being shifty) then you have 2 options as I see it. You either end it now because there is no trust between you and believe me when I say once the trust is gone or damaged it is very difficult to fix and forget. It will forever keep raising it's head
Or you find out for certain. You need to be 100% certain with evidence that can't be questioned. Reason being if he is cheating and you only have a couple of text's but no hard evidence he will talk his way out of it because if there's the slightest bit of doubt in your evidence he'll use excuses and you'll want to believe them. Trust me my ex was cheating for a long time but I couldn't prove anything concrete.
Bottom line it's your life so your decision. Just make sure you think things through and use your head not your heart because your heart will be blinded to the truth. Also if he is cheating don't give any chances. If he'll do it once he'll do it again and everyone deserves better. Don't stay with it just because you're scared about starting a out new on your own cause more often than not you'll regret it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does no one else smell something fishy if u check the op profile and their one verifixarion?
both profiles written the same way and op only here to meet woman yet veri is a guy
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you lot don't miss a thing here . lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Suggest some cross referencing people
Is that in relation to the removed posts?
I think people can just make their own judgements on all this."
No not really. more in line with just having a look at other threads |
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