FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why no one replies to msgs?
Why no one replies to msgs?
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Just after some friendly advice as to why im not getting any replies to my msgs? What constitutes a good initial msg? Its frustrating to write long msgs when you don’t get any replies so I have just been keeping mine sweet and to the point after having no success with longer msgs to peopl. Id be gratefull for any advice. Also could it be that my profile is rather short? Again I don’t see the point in going on and on Id much rather people got to know me by having a chat and meeting in person even if just for a social. Thanks again. |
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You really can't expect couples to meet-up with every randy guy in order to assess their personalities.
Consequently, we look for personality within profile text, and sadly your profile suggests that you're a 3 minute sort of guy.
Your piccies are better than average though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Okay I'll try and say this as nicely as possible, your profile is useless.
Your profile is the window you have to sell you in, yours doesn't do that and it doesn't make you stand out from the hundreds of other guys on here.
Your profile needs to say what you are looking for and what you can offer. If you are going to have pics up make them different, yours are all very much the same and put the cock pic in friends only, most women on here don't want to see them. Run a spell check on the whole thing and loose all the text speak in it too, it's a turn off for most on here.
As for messages, you don't need to write war and peace, but make the message personal to show you have read and understood the profile you are replying too, attach a face pic and never send a cock shot on an initial message, you wouldn't walk up to someone in a bar and lob it straight so don't do it in here.
For more tips on you profile do a forum search & read the numerous threads asking about this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just after some friendly advice as to why im not getting any replies to my msgs? What constitutes a good initial msg? Its frustrating to write long msgs when you don’t get any replies so I have just been keeping mine sweet and to the point after having no success with longer msgs to peopl. Id be gratefull for any advice. Also could it be that my profile is rather short? Again I don’t see the point in going on and on Id much rather people got to know me by having a chat and meeting in person even if just for a social. Thanks again
. "
Maybe stop calling them msgs, saving yourself 2 e's, an s and an a isn't worth looking like a text speaker for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just after some friendly advice as to why im not getting any replies to my msgs? What constitutes a good initial msg? Its frustrating to write long msgs when you don’t get any replies so I have just been keeping mine sweet and to the point after having no success with longer msgs to peopl. Id be gratefull for any advice. Also could it be that my profile is rather short? Again I don’t see the point in going on and on Id much rather people got to know me by having a chat and meeting in person even if just for a social. Thanks again. "
Too many people put too much emphasis into messaging to get meets.
Reality check - not that many will respond positively.
Get out from behind a pc screen (or whatever you use), get along to a club, social, private party etc to meet people and network!
Stand out from the crowd - get seen, be seen, meet others!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Remove the remark about timewasters its very negative. As its very subjective as to what constitutes a timewaster.
To you a timewaster may be everyone you message who does not reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay I'll try and say this as nicely as possible, your profile is useless.
Your profile is the window you have to sell you in, yours doesn't do that and it doesn't make you stand out from the hundreds of other guys on here.
Your profile needs to say what you are looking for and what you can offer. If you are going to have pics up make them different, yours are all very much the same and put the cock pic in friends only, most women on here don't want to see them. Run a spell check on the whole thing and loose all the text speak in it too, it's a turn off for most on here.
As for messages, you don't need to write war and peace, but make the message personal to show you have read and understood the profile you are replying too, attach a face pic and never send a cock shot on an initial message, you wouldn't walk up to someone in a bar and lob it straight so don't do it in here.
For more tips on you profile do a forum search & read the numerous threads asking about this."
Nailed it tbh xx |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I think a time waster is someone who you chat to for awhile, then changes there mind for a silly reason, often at the last minute"
actually i dont agree
your time hasn't been wasted at all.... you would probably have been on the site anyway, and you haven't done anything out of what you would have done anyway, you never left the house....
people always have the perogative to change their minds at any point, and sometimes it is the "little things" as you put it, that can turn people off..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And dont forget about the couples that arnt that bothered how long your profile text is and dont mind short messages because at the end of the day as long as you have good photos ( which they find attractive) and are the kind of guy they are looking for within the age and miles range then you will probably do ok. If we were meeting guys and you were within our miles range we would meet you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a time waster is someone who you chat to for awhile, then changes there mind for a silly reason, often at the last minute
actually i dont agree
your time hasn't been wasted at all.... you would probably have been on the site anyway, and you haven't done anything out of what you would have done anyway, you never left the house....
people always have the perogative to change their minds at any point, and sometimes it is the "little things" as you put it, that can turn people off....."
I agree ... If you went out for the evening met someone in a bar had a good evening chatting and laughing ... But they did not want to go home with you .. Would you go home thinking , that was a waste of an evening! I'm guessing not !
Just because its a swinging site does not mean everyone will want to shag everyone !
As for profiles ... I read the profile before the message ... If it shows some personality and the pics are good then I will look at the message, if that makes me smile then you are 3 steps forward! Best thing to do is look at other men's profiles...get a feeling of what works good luck x |
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Very well put, thanks for the advice really appreciate it!
"Okay I'll try and say this as nicely as possible, your profile is useless.
Your profile is the window you have to sell you in, yours doesn't do that and it doesn't make you stand out from the hundreds of other guys on here.
Your profile needs to say what you are looking for and what you can offer. If you are going to have pics up make them different, yours are all very much the same and put the cock pic in friends only, most women on here don't want to see them. Run a spell check on the whole thing and loose all the text speak in it too, it's a turn off for most on here.
As for messages, you don't need to write war and peace, but make the message personal to show you have read and understood the profile you are replying too, attach a face pic and never send a cock shot on an initial message, you wouldn't walk up to someone in a bar and lob it straight so don't do it in here.
For more tips on you profile do a forum search & read the numerous threads asking about this.
Nailed it tbh xx"
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Thanks guys that’s reassuring and the feeling is mutual, shame you are not closer. Although it seems that the most part on here look first to one’s profile so I will spend a bit of time updating this. X
"And dont forget about the couples that arnt that bothered how long your profile text is and dont mind short messages because at the end of the day as long as you have good photos ( which they find attractive) and are the kind of guy they are looking for within the age and miles range then you will probably do ok. If we were meeting guys and you were within our miles range we would meet you "
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
I'd lose some of the 'interests' (even if they're all true).
Ticking every box can come across as lazy or desperate. I suspect some Fabsters would tick safe sex AND bareback (were there such an option). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd lose some of the 'interests' (even if they're all true).
Ticking every box can come across as lazy or desperate. I suspect some Fabsters would tick safe sex AND bareback (were there such an option)."
I disagree, I dont see it as lazy but someone who is up for trying most things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just after some friendly advice as to why im not getting any replies to my msgs? What constitutes a good initial msg? Its frustrating to write long msgs when you don’t get any replies so I have just been keeping mine sweet and to the point after having no success with longer msgs to peopl. Id be gratefull for any advice. Also could it be that my profile is rather short? Again I don’t see the point in going on and on Id much rather people got to know me by having a chat and meeting in person even if just for a social. Thanks again. "
Spellchecking.  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I've now updated my profile and would be grateful for any further feedback since the update. Thanks everyone! "
Much, much better!! Well done you and I'm not patronising you, I think you will notice a huge difference now!
I would actually read and reply to a message from you based on the new profile |
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Thanks foxyminx for your positive feedback! Very much appreciated. Lets see if there is a difference X
"I've now updated my profile and would be grateful for any further feedback since the update. Thanks everyone!
Much, much better!! Well done you and I'm not patronising you, I think you will notice a huge difference now!
I would actually read and reply to a message from you based on the new profile "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've now updated my profile and would be grateful for any further feedback since the update. Thanks everyone!
Much, much better!! Well done you and I'm not patronising you, I think you will notice a huge difference now!
I would actually read and reply to a message from you based on the new profile "
Much better profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks CJ. I ran the text through MS word which did not pick up on anything. If you've noticed something in my newly updated profile text please let me know! Cheers."
Nothing important. Others should be others' in your first paragraph. That's about it. Reads very well now. If only uni hadn't beaten plagiarism out of me...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thre is basically one reason, ratio is 100 men to 1 woman thats why we dont get replies lol."
I don't see this as a problem to be honest. The way I see it you're selling into a buyer's market (not a gripe just a fact) your marketing strategy has to be pitched accordingly. It's not just about a) having the best product but also b) having the best pitch and if possible c) offering something unique. The OP's profile now does that. Will be very surprised if he doesn't do well. |
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Haha! Thanks CJ
"Thanks CJ. I ran the text through MS word which did not pick up on anything. If you've noticed something in my newly updated profile text please let me know! Cheers.
Nothing important. Others should be others' in your first paragraph. That's about it. Reads very well now. If only uni hadn't beaten plagiarism out of me... "
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Your rite about that Matrix Lazy would be only ticking one box because you couldn't be bothered to tick the others that did interest you!
"I'd lose some of the 'interests' (even if they're all true).
Ticking every box can come across as lazy or desperate. I suspect some Fabsters would tick safe sex AND bareback (were there such an option).
I disagree, I dont see it as lazy but someone who is up for trying most things"
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Thank you miss frosty! Now that my profile is much better. Back to further solving the original question.
I understand no woman wants to receive the same generic message nor do they want to receive boring messages like: How are you today? Fancy a fuck? Etc. So what constitutes a good message? Once I'm chatting to someone everything goes really well. People tend to realize I'm creative and interesting it's just the initialization I have trouble with.
Any tips on that?
Thanks!
"I've now updated my profile and would be grateful for any further feedback since the update. Thanks everyone!
Much, much better!! Well done you and I'm not patronising you, I think you will notice a huge difference now!
I would actually read and reply to a message from you based on the new profile
Much better profile "
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I really do think you will notice a huge difference now that you have a decent profile!
However, as a tip, make sure the reciprocate of your messages is made aware, that you have read and understood their profile and then the rest should follow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A good message is one that gives the recipient a reason to reply.
I know that is vague, but it is as simple as that and there is no quick fix. You need imagination and originality to stand out from all the other messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just after some friendly advice as to why im not getting any replies to my msgs? What constitutes a good initial msg? Its frustrating to write long msgs when you don’t get any replies so I have just been keeping mine sweet and to the point after having no success with longer msgs to peopl. Id be gratefull for any advice. Also could it be that my profile is rather short? Again I don’t see the point in going on and on Id much rather people got to know me by having a chat and meeting in person even if just for a social. Thanks again. "
Nice profile, I assume you altered it as suggested. Nice pics too, not loads of cock shots. Re messaging, Hi how are you doesnt cut it. Tell the person you are messaging a bit about yourself and mention something about them or their profile too, specially if they have a word they require in the message, put that in. good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Much better profile and you've also shown a great attitude on here by taking the advice & acting on it, lots of people don't.
Good luck but I doubt you'll need it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a time waster is someone who you chat to for awhile, then changes there mind for a silly reason, often at the last minute"
Totally disagree with this definition.
A Time waster in my book is someone that arranges a meet and doesn't turn up, thats it .
If someone cancels then its not a time waster, its real life just getting in the way. On occasions I've had to cancel a meet at late notice, I don't think that makes me a time waster, I think it means something came up that was more important that a shag.
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Why thank you! Must say I had a little cheeky glimpse at your pics too and liked what I saw. I did also read your profile you’ll be happy to know! I know your not looking for white guys, if you happened to make the occasional exception you know where to find me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks Scorpio girl! I think it's important to take advice from others, no such thing as bad criticism and I'm very happy everyone here has been willing to provide it! "
welcome
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I must agree, it's all in the profile. There has to be something in it that will catch someone's attention.
And I personally get a message from someone I've never chatted to before I will check his/her profile 1st & must confess have either deleted without answering or just sent polite no thanks, just based on the content of a profile. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must agree, it's all in the profile. There has to be something in it that will catch someone's attention.
And I personally get a message from someone I've never chatted to before I will check his/her profile 1st & must confess have either deleted without answering or just sent polite no thanks, just based on the content of a profile. xx"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well done on taking the advice and doing some thing about it Your profile looks really good and a good selection of pics...Not knit picking but which pics are recent as you have hardly no hair in a few and a load in another |
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As for messages, it's really difficult sending a decent message.
Try reading a profile, and popping something in it that shows you have read it, and that gives the recipient something to answer.
I say in mine (when it's on show) that make me laugh, and it's a battle half won, also that I like chatting random bollocks with random strangers. Someone sent me a message asking my opinion on stew. Made me giggle, made him cum 3 days later!!
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Thanks Redangel. I will take this advice on-board and start getting a little more creative with my messages.
"As for messages, it's really difficult sending a decent message.
Try reading a profile, and popping something in it that shows you have read it, and that gives the recipient something to answer.
I say in mine (when it's on show) that make me laugh, and it's a battle half won, also that I like chatting random bollocks with random strangers. Someone sent me a message asking my opinion on stew. Made me giggle, made him cum 3 days later!!
"
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"I'd lose some of the 'interests' (even if they're all true).
Ticking every box can come across as lazy or desperate. I suspect some Fabsters would tick safe sex AND bareback (were there such an option).
I disagree, I dont see it as lazy but someone who is up for trying most things"
Prime example of why these types of posts are pointless: you CAN'T please everyone so don't try! Sell you, with a view of attracting likeminded people for hedonistic pleasure. |
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"Is this a post about not getting meets or a cunning way to get a critique on someone's profile so improvements can be made? If the latter, can I ask why so many of my messages go unanswered??? "
Your age, you are married, some of a few things that will go against you on this site.
Unfortunate, but that's the way it is at times. |
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"Is this a post about not getting meets or a cunning way to get a critique on someone's profile so improvements can be made? If the latter, can I ask why so many of my messages go unanswered???
Your age, you are married, some of a few things that will go against you on this site.
Unfortunate, but that's the way it is at times. "
Tell me about it!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A simple no ty would be gd huh "
Not judging the standard of your messages, but we had 2 today, one was 12 words long (well I say words some were just letters or numbers) and the other was 3 words long. I know for a fact that some women get countless messages like that, what possible reason is there to reply? |
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By *ombowieMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"A simple no ty would be gd huh
Not judging the standard of your messages, but we had 2 today, one was 12 words long (well I say words some were just letters or numbers) and the other was 3 words long. I know for a fact that some women get countless messages like that, what possible reason is there to reply?"
I wright longish massages lots of effort and no reply soviets no wonder some guys only wright one or two lines |
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It was originally for the latter but part of that problem was due to my profile content hence why allot of it is profile criticism productive criticism i should add! Anyway since I have added some more accurate content to my profile description I’ve had one couple contact me out of the blue so that is a great success! |
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Point taken thanks! I guess its when you make the effort to write personal messages after really taking the time to read others profiles and getting no reply you start to think what is the point in taking the time. Hopefully this was due to profile content so we'll see how it goes from here on! |
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Ok sorry about that Alan. I'm still fairly new to the forum on the site.
"Hehe. Yes that's a good guess! You are correct!
If you click on the word "quote", we will all understand to which post you are responding."
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"Ok sorry about that Alan. I'm still fairly new to the forum on the site.
Hehe. Yes that's a good guess! You are correct!
If you click on the word "quote", we will all understand to which post you are responding."
No need to say sorry. I was just being helpful. |
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We don't meet single guys a a couple but we have friends who do, and we also have met "couples" at clubs who are actually 2 singles who turn up as a couple - and we swap with them.
So if you're a single guy and you would like to be chosen by the couples, by the single ladies, and to go as the male half of a "couple" to clubs and enjoy the swaps you need to do what the successful guys do.
The guys we have met who do this are outstanding gentlemen and we mean this literally, the Stand Out.
Their profile is not about what they want and what they are looking for, they are about what they offer.
Have a look at the profiles of the single guys here, look at a lot of them. Now which one has a long list of veris from single ladies and couples? What do the say about him? How can YOU be that guy? What in his profile makes him outstanding, different from the guys you'll see with no veris.
Why is the ONE guy who seems to be fucking all the ladies and 5O guys getting nowhere?
Go figure it out
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Thanks for taking the time to give such a detailed response Neo and Trin. I will take a better look around and I also plan on attending allot more organized events from now on.
"We don't meet single guys a a couple but we have friends who do, and we also have met "couples" at clubs who are actually 2 singles who turn up as a couple - and we swap with them.
So if you're a single guy and you would like to be chosen by the couples, by the single ladies, and to go as the male half of a "couple" to clubs and enjoy the swaps you need to do what the successful guys do.
The guys we have met who do this are outstanding gentlemen and we mean this literally, the Stand Out.
Their profile is not about what they want and what they are looking for, they are about what they offer.
Have a look at the profiles of the single guys here, look at a lot of them. Now which one has a long list of veris from single ladies and couples? What do the say about him? How can YOU be that guy? What in his profile makes him outstanding, different from the guys you'll see with no veris.
Why is the ONE guy who seems to be fucking all the ladies and 5O guys getting nowhere?
Go figure it out
"
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