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Single women attitude
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As a single guy, I'm looking to meet up with a single lady. I am not disrespectful when I approach anyone and am articulate. However, I seem to get a lot of rejections.
I don't know what's the problem really? I have a lot of winks and friend requests when I upload pictures but that's just to perv on my private gallery.
I'm not the richest guys, I don't drive but the little time I am free I just wish to have fun doing what I think I'm really good at and love. Yet in the few weeks I've been here, I have had so much bs thrown at me I do wonder what it takes to recognise some of us are genuine. Anyway, not really a rant. Just articulating the challenges men face here every now and then. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Its not attitude if people don't want to meet you, its preference. And I assure you single women face challenges too, mainly from men not reading their profile before messaging.
Having said that, if I were nearer you would definitely be my type. Always the way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No, they actually correspond and then suddenly block you or make excuse after excuse not to meet. I'm well aware of the challenges women face. Its just a shame though |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"No, they actually correspond and then suddenly block you or make excuse after excuse not to meet. I'm well aware of the challenges women face. Its just a shame though"
That happens to me too. It's just the way it goes, and at least they haven't arranged to meet then stood you up. Just keep looking and you'll find what you're after. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got the same problem mate. Been here two weeks and actually feel worse about myself....and I'm a pretty confident guy!
Think the problems may be the small majority giving genuine people a bad name? We shouldn't be tarred with the same brush though. |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
Well OP those pics in your public gallery made my eyes water!
Everyone gets random friends requests. I just leave them. It's up to you if you accept.
I often chat to guys with a view to meet, but change my mind as I get to know them better. Nothing puts me off more than a pushy guy who wants me to fix a date I can see him.
Perhaps they just simply changed their mind. If it happens a lot you need to look at yourself. What is putting them off. Obviously there was the initial attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As has been said many times and no doubt will be many times again - the world of Fab and similar internet sites is so much more enjoyable for all if everyone respects peoples right to say no at any time, decide to cease contact, not be rushed / pressured into meeting and have their preferences recognized!
Enter into the world of net based swinging with any sense of expectancy, entitlement or god given right to a meet, a reply to a message - or anything at all - and you'll often find yourself seriously disappointed!
If you're not enjoying things - take a break, adjust your approach - or consider whether this kind of scene is really right for you! |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
Here's the thing. Us girls aren't attracted to everyone. Nor do we want to meet or even chat to everyone that sends us a message.
Yes I am picky, as are the vast majority of women on here. I often trade a few messages with someone only to lose interest. It happens. You may initially find someone attractive in their pic but then after a few messages realise there just is no spark so there is no point in continuing the conversation.
What I DESPISE is when some men think that just because I have replied to their message that we are going to meet. Often after my first message to them they are giving me their phone number and pressuring to set a date. That turns me off immediately.
What a lot of guys fail to realise is that it takes a lot more for many women to feel comfortable enough to meet a guy off here. We have so many more things to consider, our personal safety and wellbeing being one. I need to feel 100% sure I want to meet someone before I do.
I enjoy messaging quite a few people that I know I will never meet. But I enjoy the social side of the scene as well, and the banter and the chatting, as do a lot of other people. And if you can get that right then the more fun stuff follows.
Anyway, that's just mt own personal take on it. Every woman is different of course. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the space of five mins i've had two seperate message from different blokes that would make even the calmest of women annoyed.
Bloke 1 sent an informative friendly message. I click on his profile before opening the message, look at pic, look at distance, look at verifications, click on his message and reply no thanks. He sent me an abusive reply and blocked me.
Bloke 2 sends me a friendly message with questions that he would not have asked if he had read my profile. I click on his, read it all, look at pucs and then open message and reply - read the profile. He sent another message obviously not reading, i get annoyed, he then puts a friends invite through and asks to see my private pics . There was a lot more to bloke 2 messaging ...
But its shows just a tad some of the things women have to contend with when they respond ( or not) to messages.
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
I once got message late one night before I went to bed and thought oh that's a nice message, I'll respond tomorrow after work. When I logged on after work the next day I had in my inbox about 5 or 6 messages of abuse calling me a rude c**t (among other things) because I read his message and didn't bother responding. AND.... BLOCK. |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
Alas,..where do I start - I've been on other swing sites, had the equivalent verification from there, but got on Fab and STILL took me a year to get my first meet.
Then there's women/couples that with no email or introduction send a friend invite, and my failing to accept this "blind" friend invite is met with abuse with words "since you're too arrogant to accept a friend request, I/won't meet you" (or words to that effect). nice, for a first email from someone I haven't spoken to.
Then there's the ones that insist I send pic after pic (in the case of one couple, a video!) of me in "action" before they decided if I met their criteria. Before you say "collector", they happen to have very good verifications from people I happen to know, makes me think "so did all these guys comply with their demands?"
Speaking of demands, brings me to the "no (face) pictures, no reply" group, who funny enough fail to have (face) pics themselves... usually due to "job" or the other (as thought my work is any less important than theirs).
My point in all of this? Some people (women,men, couples,.. doesn't matter) are just funny that way - the only thing you can do is (try) to take it in your stride, dust yourself off and move on to the next email. Good luck with it! |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"I once got message late one night before I went to bed and thought oh that's a nice message, I'll respond tomorrow after work. When I logged on after work the next day I had in my inbox about 5 or 6 messages of abuse calling me a rude c**t (among other things) because I read his message and didn't bother responding. AND.... BLOCK."
Ouch!! |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"I once got message late one night before I went to bed and thought oh that's a nice message, I'll respond tomorrow after work. When I logged on after work the next day I had in my inbox about 5 or 6 messages of abuse calling me a rude c**t (among other things) because I read his message and didn't bother responding. AND.... BLOCK.
Ouch!!"
And that wasn't even the worst one... |
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"Its not attitude if people don't want to meet you, its preference. And I assure you single women face challenges too, mainly from men not reading their profile before messaging.
Having said that, if I were nearer you would definitely be my type. Always the way."
Ditto this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's the thing. Us girls aren't attracted to everyone. Nor do we want to meet or even chat to everyone that sends us a message.
Yes I am picky, as are the vast majority of women on here. I often trade a few messages with someone only to lose interest. It happens. You may initially find someone attractive in their pic but then after a few messages realise there just is no spark so there is no point in continuing the conversation.
What I DESPISE is when some men think that just because I have replied to their message that we are going to meet. Often after my first message to them they are giving me their phone number and pressuring to set a date. That turns me off immediately.
What a lot of guys fail to realise is that it takes a lot more for many women to feel comfortable enough to meet a guy off here. We have so many more things to consider, our personal safety and wellbeing being one. I need to feel 100% sure I want to meet someone before I do.
I enjoy messaging quite a few people that I know I will never meet. But I enjoy the social side of the scene as well, and the banter and the chatting, as do a lot of other people. And if you can get that right then the more fun stuff follows.
Anyway, that's just mt own personal take on it. Every woman is different of course."
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
time.... patience.... common sense
would you call being on here 2 or 3 weeks as "giving it time".... or "having patience"......
to be honest... I wouldn't....
as _habs said, there are loads of single blokes who have to go months before they get a meet.... who do give it time, and show patience...
I do wonder what the expectation is sometimes when I read these types of post and they have only been here but a few weeks..... just because swingers like sex, it doesn't mean they like sex with just anyone...
in fact, it could be said to be tougher here because you do have to find a way of standing out, and people know what they are looking for in potential partners and don't settle for less.....
the perception of swingers vs the expectation of what people think is a non-stop sex-fest vs the reality of most peoples swinging experiences.......
you get out what you put in... old adage, but more true than most in swinging... i don't think 2 or 3 weeks is time enough to put in what you need...... |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"time.... patience.... common sense
would you call being on here 2 or 3 weeks as "giving it time".... or "having patience"......
to be honest... I wouldn't....
as _habs said, there are loads of single blokes who have to go months before they get a meet.... who do give it time, and show patience...
I do wonder what the expectation is sometimes when I read these types of post and they have only been here but a few weeks..... just because swingers like sex, it doesn't mean they like sex with just anyone...
in fact, it could be said to be tougher here because you do have to find a way of standing out, and people know what they are looking for in potential partners and don't settle for less.....
the perception of swingers vs the expectation of what people think is a non-stop sex-fest vs the reality of most peoples swinging experiences.......
you get out what you put in... old adage, but more true than most in swinging... i don't think 2 or 3 weeks is time enough to put in what you need......"
Fabio talking sense as always.
If you want a comparison, when I first got into swinging, it took me well over a month to get my first meet and I'm a single girl!  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
Fabio talking sense as always.
If you want a comparison, when I first got into swinging, it took me well over a month to get my first meet and I'm a single girl! "
I took 5 months to get my first meet... that was after been on sites, having a wonder, surveying the landscape, watching for the common mistakes and generalisations that other made and not repeating them
basically getting myself known a little to the point people would trust me....
trust for some people is a long voyage.. some are so fixated of the final product that they forget about the journey to that point...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a single guy, I'm looking to meet up with a single lady. I am not disrespectful when I approach anyone and am articulate. However, I seem to get a lot of rejections.
I don't know what's the problem really? I have a lot of winks and friend requests when I upload pictures but that's just to perv on my private gallery.
I'm not the richest guys, I don't drive but the little time I am free I just wish to have fun doing what I think I'm really good at and love. Yet in the few weeks I've been here, I have had so much bs thrown at me I do wonder what it takes to recognise some of us are genuine. Anyway, not really a rant. Just articulating the challenges men face here every now and then."
You sound like me. But don't worry, there are a few gems out there. Have patience.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the whole cuckholding bull stuff really doesnt cut it with me OP, I see the meet u have up...and I just cant help but think this is mostly about u, I prefer the sharing aspect of swinging..so that means if I advertized for a couple to meet me, I'd be more inclined to enjoy the male have partake in his partners sexual enjoyment also
nothing strict about it, and in fact I turn away those i think just wanna shag without some form of interaction
the whole sex thing should come when uve at least stimulated someone
a few pics of a big cock wont always get u that many meets, itll help...but U have to understand there is lots of groundwork needed on many prospective meets and that means patience, with ur three weeks fab status and one social meet, u are lacking that so far
I have the feeling u wouldnt be around many clubs, unless u change that strict cuckhold manner
thats my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" However, I seem to get a lot of rejections.
I don't know what's the problem really? "
There may be no 'problem' at all. They may not be attracted to you. You may not share the same interests. They may have a certain type of person in mind to get naked with. You'll never know - so don't try to over-analyse things!
The only 'problem' appears to be a lack of understanding re peoples right to choice and preferences! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here's the thing. Us girls aren't attracted to everyone. Nor do we want to meet or even chat to everyone that sends us a message.
Yes I am picky, as are the vast majority of women on here. I often trade a few messages with someone only to lose interest. It happens. You may initially find someone attractive in their pic but then after a few messages realise there just is no spark so there is no point in continuing the conversation.
What I DESPISE is when some men think that just because I have replied to their message that we are going to meet. Often after my first message to them they are giving me their phone number and pressuring to set a date. That turns me off immediately.
What a lot of guys fail to realise is that it takes a lot more for many women to feel comfortable enough to meet a guy off here. We have so many more things to consider, our personal safety and wellbeing being one. I need to feel 100% sure I want to meet someone before I do.
I enjoy messaging quite a few people that I know I will never meet. But I enjoy the social side of the scene as well, and the banter and the chatting, as do a lot of other people. And if you can get that right then the more fun stuff follows.
Anyway, that's just mt own personal take on it. Every woman is different of course."
Some very good points made ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a single guy, I'm looking to meet up with a single lady. I am not disrespectful when I approach anyone and am articulate. However, I seem to get a lot of rejections.
I don't know what's the problem really? I have a lot of winks and friend requests when I upload pictures but that's just to perv on my private gallery.
I'm not the richest guys, I don't drive but the little time I am free I just wish to have fun doing what I think I'm really good at and love. Yet in the few weeks I've been here, I have had so much bs thrown at me I do wonder what it takes to recognise some of us are genuine. Anyway, not really a rant. Just articulating the challenges men face here every now and then."
Look at your skills with women in the real world outside fab .....do get as many rejections there two ? My moto is if you can't get lucky in the real world e.g. Normal bars/clubs , day to day life etc...then what chance have you got online !! |
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"Here's the thing. Us girls aren't attracted to everyone. Nor do we want to meet or even chat to everyone that sends us a message.
Yes I am picky, as are the vast majority of women on here. I often trade a few messages with someone only to lose interest. It happens. You may initially find someone attractive in their pic but then after a few messages realise there just is no spark so there is no point in continuing the conversation.
What I DESPISE is when some men think that just because I have replied to their message that we are going to meet. Often after my first message to them they are giving me their phone number and pressuring to set a date. That turns me off immediately.
What a lot of guys fail to realise is that it takes a lot more for many women to feel comfortable enough to meet a guy off here. We have so many more things to consider, our personal safety and wellbeing being one. I need to feel 100% sure I want to meet someone before I do.
I enjoy messaging quite a few people that I know I will never meet. But I enjoy the social side of the scene as well, and the banter and the chatting, as do a lot of other people. And if you can get that right then the more fun stuff follows.
Anyway, that's just mt own personal take on it. Every woman is different of course."
That is exactly how I feel, and could put this in my profile, (hope do not get done for copyright)
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"I've got the same problem mate. Been here two weeks and actually feel worse about myself....and I'm a pretty confident guy!
Think the problems may be the small majority giving genuine people a bad name? We shouldn't be tarred with the same brush though."
And how does somebody know any different? Dont be discouraged, use the chat rooms as well as the forums and people will be able to form an opinion about you.
It takes time and effort to become known as genuine but it's worth it. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Its not attitude if people don't want to meet you, its preference. And I assure you single women face challenges too, mainly from men not reading their profile before messaging.
Having said that, if I were nearer you would definitely be my type. Always the way."
^^^What Wyrdwoman said (ooh, predictive text brings your name up when I type wyr - guess I'm agreeing with you too much)  |
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