FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > unsure how to write that first message properly
unsure how to write that first message properly
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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago
Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;) |
Ill be honest bud, no fella is going to share his secrets with you..
The old adage pays off, try and try again.. ( That doesnt mean at the same lass though)
Only piece of wisdom I will give, is try and pair the msg to someone you think you'll click with.. That means reading the profile and wording it to that..
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't have a 'cut and paste' message, read the recipients' profiles and take the time and effort to make each one individual. And don't be disappointed when you don't get a reply."
Or even- do not expect a reply  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Cheers dude, I was more aiming for a womans point of view as I knew men wouldn't reveal their ways lol. "
nope..... with the greatest of respect...
different people are going to like different things, there is no right or wrong way.. just your way
and it isn't your way if you are listening to everyone else....
there are no quick fixes or magic formulas.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say don't type out huge long messages.
That way when they get ignored you won't be as bothered.
Genereally people are attracted to you or not as a result of your pictures so I usually just send a short and hopefully relevant message with some pics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't have a 'cut and paste' message, read the recipients' profiles and take the time and effort to make each one individual. And don't be disappointed when you don't get a reply."
I disagree with this.
If someone isn't attracted to your photos then putting time and effort into each post is pointless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Messages that would make me take notice are at least a few sentences long but not a lengthy essay, are polite but funny and state clearly what the persons is looking for and why they are messaging me. Good spelling and grammar would give you bonus points  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A message could be a work of art that would make literary critics weep with envy but if the profile is rubbish or.doesn't appeal then it won't make a scrap of difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't have a 'cut and paste' message, read the recipients' profiles and take the time and effort to make each one individual. And don't be disappointed when you don't get a reply.
I disagree with this.
If someone isn't attracted to your photos then putting time and effort into each post is pointless."
But on the other hand a generic:
"Hi hun, love your profile and pics. What are you looking for on here? Get in touch if you fancy a chat or a meet."
I've had 43 varients of that since I revised my profile last Sunday morning from single men and couples. It's pretty obvious if you read my profile why I can tell these were copy and paste messages. |
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Hi ours usually say...
Usually we wink first. If we get a wink back we send a message saying something along the line of....
Great pics, we will send you a friends invite, if you are not scared off once you have seen us above the shoulders feel free to message back. If not happy swinging.......
Also we don't go for just cock pics ....love to see the body that I will be having fun with xxxx |
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"Don't have a 'cut and paste' message, read the recipients' profiles and take the time and effort to make each one individual. And don't be disappointed when you don't get a reply.
I disagree with this.
If someone isn't attracted to your photos then putting time and effort into each post is pointless."
An individual message takes no more than a few minutes. I consider that a good investment of my time if it helps me stand out from the rest even a little bit. |
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I admit that I am tonight too lazy to read the previous posts...so my apologies if I am repeating what has already been said.
OP...read the profile then understand it so you can write your message accordingly!  |
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We get loads of messages from single guys. We rarely read the message fully - we usually go straight to his profile. If he's our 'type' then we will read the whole message and start a conversation, but otherwise we either send a polite 'no thanks' reply (if the message is literate and friendly) or delete and block if it's crass, rude or disrespectful! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't have a 'cut and paste' message, read the recipients' profiles and take the time and effort to make each one individual. And don't be disappointed when you don't get a reply.
I disagree with this.
If someone isn't attracted to your photos then putting time and effort into each post is pointless.
But on the other hand a generic:
"Hi hun, love your profile and pics. What are you looking for on here? Get in touch if you fancy a chat or a meet."
I've had 43 varients of that since I revised my profile last Sunday morning from single men and couples. It's pretty obvious if you read my profile why I can tell these were copy and paste messages."
"Idiots blocked: 51"... pure genius, I might add one of these to our profile... |
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"Don't have a 'cut and paste' message, read the recipients' profiles and take the time and effort to make each one individual. And don't be disappointed when you don't get a reply."
Bang on is that^^^^
We like someone to read our profile fully and write their message accordingly. And if they do that it will get read and go to our next stage of selection as, if we like the look of you.
Good luck and be yourself. And have patience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sections is prob the best way, about 2 sentences each
Opener - hi liked profile etc
You After - what you are looking for first message so keep it simple
Them after - mention something from their profile in a sentance
Finish - thanks for reading etc
It's easy to read and to get to the bit you want to read, that's the principle what I work on anyway.
But above all else be polite there is enough in here that arnt use that to your advantage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi folks I'm just looking for some advice on how to write a decent first message as mine don't seem to be working that well. Help lol. "
I prefer a message from a guy who reads profiles and sends a message with some info and not just a hi how are you? Hope this helps
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By *tuAvrCouple
over a year ago
SOUTHAMPTON |
we wink first then go on from there. If I see a photo I like my send a wow but do not expect a reply from that. That its just showing gratatude.
Nana taught me manners cost nothing but will get you any where. So be polite or make it clear its a joke.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ensure your message is grammatically correct and check your spelling and punctuation. "
Yes, there's nothing worse than missing the question mark off 'Fancy a fuck?', is there.....
ted.  |
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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago
Bristol, Thornbury |
"Don't have a 'cut and paste' message, read the recipients' profiles and take the time and effort to make each one individual. And don't be disappointed when you don't get a reply.
I disagree with this.
If someone isn't attracted to your photos then putting time and effort into each post is pointless."
Ignore this he has been on fab over a yeat take a guess if you want this advice lol |
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"Ensure your message is grammatically correct and check your spelling and punctuation.
Yes, there's nothing worse than missing the question mark off 'Fancy a fuck?', is there.....
ted. "
.....is there? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I recently received a very well-wrought first message, but as it was not really referring to my profile, I asked for a more specific follow-up, as it could still have been part of a mailshot. The author was offended and disappeared.
Pity, really.
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"I recently received a very well-wrought first message, but as it was not really referring to my profile, I asked for a more specific follow-up, as it could still have been part of a mailshot. The author was offended and disappeared.
Pity, really.
"
I guess that a feature of a well constructed message should be that it is specifically addressing your profile to begin with... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ensure your message is grammatically correct and check your spelling and punctuation.
Yes, there's nothing worse than missing the question mark off 'Fancy a fuck?', is there.....
ted. .....is there? "
Works for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'l be prefectly honest and say it doesnt matter what message people send us, if the photos look good then " fancy a fuck" works for us "
Seriously, this is what I keep saying to all those who moan about getting the 'Fancy a fuck' (or the more upmarket Fancy a Fuck'?') messages - if you're simply up for a bot of eye candy with a big cock (say...) then who is honestly bothered about the gravitas of the message? That's why guys send them. 1 in 100 will press the Reply button and they've scored. Simple.
Horses for courses, innit...
ted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'l be prefectly honest and say it doesnt matter what message people send us, if the photos look good then " fancy a fuck" works for us
Seriously, this is what I keep saying to all those who moan about getting the 'Fancy a fuck' (or the more upmarket Fancy a Fuck'?') messages - if you're simply up for a bot of eye candy with a big cock (say...) then who is honestly bothered about the gravitas of the message? That's why guys send them. 1 in 100 will press the Reply button and they've scored. Simple.
Horses for courses, innit...
ted"
Oh tis very true Ted |
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Write whatever you like because chances are it will be ignored or deleted. There is no secret as others have said so just be yourself, be honest and keep your fingers crossed. I have written everything from a couple of paragraphs to a couple of words, funny, serious, rude or polite. I pick out and comment on what the person has said in the profile or even on the forums and I probably get one response in twenty and most of them are negative. Just keep trying and you eventually make a connection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I recently received a very well-wrought first message, but as it was not really referring to my profile, I asked for a more specific follow-up, as it could still have been part of a mailshot. The author was offended and disappeared.
Pity, really.
"
Can I have a copy please |
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