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By *xcum OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on the lady or ladies your being dommed by.. I attended 'strapped' (in Walsall)over the new year to satiate my curiosity about all things BDSM... Perhaps not the wisest event to attend as a first timer... I still can't believe I did it!
Once there, I felt so very vanilla, dressed in jeans and a shirt, hiding behind my smartphone, whilst everyone else was donning any combination of latex, big boots, spiky heels and bits of rope!
However my anti-socialness didnt last long...I apparently caught the eye of a very sexy lady who decided she'd had enough of shyness and somehow, managed to get me down to my undies within 5 minutes!!
I was completely naked soon thereafter..and was subjected to intense scratching, caressing, spanking, flogging and the most sensual kissing.. I'm still not sure how I feel about it all.. I do know I'm not cut out for too much pain..and my bottom is very sensitive.. In fact, at one point my screams were so loud, another mistress got annoyed, left the sub she was working on and gave me a spanking session ill soon not forget!!
So...um..yep... Ultimately it all is dependent on the understanding and attitudes of those in charge. My mistresses knew I was a novice and really helped me explore and reach my limits in a sensual albeit ouchie way. The lingering kiss I received when she told me how proud she was of me, still remains memorable.
Personally, my experience taught me two things. I'm very open to trying new things, and that my pain threshold isn't made for BDSM.
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"I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one"
Respect is very important. I would say you don't quite have the correct outlook for a sub. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one"
Are you going to full on fem-domme events? Not all play events are like that. |
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"I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one
Respect is very important. I would say you don't quite have the correct outlook for a sub."
I agree with this, my partner is my Master, and I still address him as Sir, it is the respect.
If your looking for just play then it may work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one"
There should be no need for you to say Mistress unless you choose to attend a high protocol event. If it is not a high protocol event and women are demanding to be called Mistress, that (in my eyes) is non consentual. If you call a lady Mistress at a low protocol event without consent, that's not right either.
Why don't you look for munches (meetings for kink friendly people usually held in vanilla venues) where you can meet people and get to know your local crowd. Not everyone is into the high protocol, 24/7, TPE full on D/s style relationship-there is a whole spectrum of kinksters so you are more likely to find someone on your wavelength by meeting more people.
Just because you don't want to call someone Mistress, that doesn't not make you a submissive. Everyone is different and likes their D/s in different doses. I respect those that choose to call their Dom/Master Sir/Daddy/Master or Domme/Mistress Ma'am/Madam/Mummy as much as those who choose to practice D/s solely in the bedroom. It doesn't make their relationship any less valid or important.
Get out there and have fun! Keep it safe, sane and consentual-you can't go wrong.
crystal |
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Crystal beat me to it.
Everyone is different and wants different things from their play. There are a lot of Dom's/Domme's out there that are not bothered about a term of address.
For example I don't require any term of address apart from my name. However if a sub I am playing with feels a desire to use a more formal term of address then that's all good to , you know it's amazing how people slip into using those terms without even realising it when they are with a Dom/Domme on their wavelength.
I do agree with the respect statements above, just think of this. Imagine the person that you would choose to use those terms with.... They'd have to be pretty special to you I'd imagine
It is all weird and strange at first. You haven't done much atall how can anything feel natural and normal.
You do have a say on what form any relationship or play would take aswell. You may get refused play because of it but then you may not aswell lol.
Explore in a way you want but don't just write it all off because of one thing. You'll wonder for the rest of your life if you do.... |
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By *xcum OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
Ok thanks for the advice but I'm still very confused by it all, it's like learning a new lifestyle , but yes I so much want this. The meets I've been to have been proper jobs even went to a private house but all the people where all very experienced and been in it for years but every time I've had a play I've been corrected to address them by master, mistress so I've had to go along with it Wish there was a local amateur group I could join that way I could grow with it and find my own path. I've looked into paying for this as a service but again I get "yes what ! Yes mistress " and everytime it just kills it Is there any such thing as a silent order lol thanks all for the replies x |
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Get to munches and the like you need to meet people on your wavelength that are prepared to let you find your feet.
There is a thought pattern that a Dom/Domme has to be a certain way so you will see a lot of people behaving in that way.... Doesn't make it right or what you are after though... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love posts like these they are my fav ones to read as im still learning this kinda life as well but I take my hat of to op for going and trying out the munchesI have yet to go to one of these . Good luck op and dnt be put off xx |
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I love posts like these myself, I am a learner and have a male friend who is introducing me into the scene, he has been into the scene for many years..It is a whole new world to me but a very interesting one.. |
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