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How low can you go??
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*puts on kevlar, for all the bullets*
Seriously though, have you had a similar situation and what did you do? or do do? ....ha dodo!!  | |||
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"Funny this just looking at a profile and thought they looked nice then checked there verifications and thought no not for us, but it's ridiculous in clubs we don't check through verifications or do an age check etc etc " I know, crazy right?. I hear you 110%, there are a lot of factors. This is why I would like to hear some other views. I love hearing all the exploits of other people, so I guess you have to take the good ones with the cringey ones....but yet also can't help thinking I need a brillo pad haha  | |||
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"Cate, you waffly woman!! Yes, if I had a Friends With Benefits who subsequently had sex with someone I couldn't respect, then I would stop seeing that FWB. If he doesn't respect himself enough to choose his partners carefully, then I don't respect him enough to get intimate again. Plenty more fish in the sea!" Hee-hee Sunny....See you use the word 'respect' and it is all about respect, for ones self, and that's how I judge myself. On the other hand, we all have to make mistakes, to learn from them. Its all down to that "what you don't know, you don't know!!" lol....but when you do, its all a little eeeek! Those pesky fish!!!  I need a more sterile net haha!! | |||
"That's a hard one !! I've done the same , but what if you and your FWB get on well have great sex .... And he really does it for you ... Isn't that cutting of your nose to spite your face ??? " times this font by 65pts!!! and YES!!!! this is why it poses a quandary, but how much can you turn a blindeye/ear to? I am not a great fan of picking up dropped food up of the floor, even with the "god kissed it, devil missed it" saying, I'd still heave lol.....but! I am a great one for cutting my nose off, to spite myself...a master in fact  I think its more widely known as a 'stubborn twat!'  | |||
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"the be honest thats almost like playing "six degrees of seperation" on a website the only reason i would use it would be for example if someone was lying (for example saying they play safe... but then had loads of veri's that said they played bareback) but not just because they had played with someone I didn't like... thats sounds very "playground" to me.... Just because I don't particularly like someone, it doesn't mean everyone has to have to same taste as me......" Think that's what I meant but put better haha  | |||
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"Well I have had offers and I have declined and not because of their looks. I just felt that I would be breaking my principles and lowering my morals if I slept with that type of woman. Pros and cons for doing that and my mind always goes back and fore to whether I made the right choice "What type of woman? | |||
"Well I have had offers and I have declined and not because of their looks. I just felt that I would be breaking my principles and lowering my morals if I slept with that type of woman. Pros and cons for doing that and my mind always goes back and fore to whether I made the right choice
What type of woman? "They tended to be married and their husbands don't know anything about it. | |||
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"What would you do? *IF* When looking to meet, you look at the persons, profile, pictures, etc. Also you read their verifications and some if not more of the people's who have left them theirs. If when doing so you see someone who wouldn't be your cup of tea, you decline to meet the person. (if you think this is silly, that's cool, I still have a question) So with this in mind, you have a friend with benefits, who at the time of first meeting, hadn't bumped uglies with anyone you personally wouldn't, or at least had no verifications showing so. Yes, I know, there could be ones you haven't seen and yes I also know this may sound a bit twatty or a little stuck-up. But, we all have standards, they just differ on height..........So, after all of this waffle, my questions is. Do you carry on seeing the FB? Its certainly not a steak and burger situation, more of a laying with dogs and getting fleas, kinda thing
*puts on kevlar, for all the bullets*
Seriously though, have you had a similar situation and what did you do? or do do? ....ha dodo!! "oh hell thought it was a thread on limbo dancing .....tiptoes out like an elephant bk to the list | |||
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"Well I have had offers and I have declined and not because of their looks. I just felt that I would be breaking my principles and lowering my morals if I slept with that type of woman. Pros and cons for doing that and my mind always goes back and fore to whether I made the right choice
What type of woman?
They tended to be married and their husbands don't know anything about it."Oh I see, if it goes against your moral code then you've made the right decision I would say. | |||
"Well I have had offers and I have declined and not because of their looks. I just felt that I would be breaking my principles and lowering my morals if I slept with that type of woman. Pros and cons for doing that and my mind always goes back and fore to whether I made the right choice
What type of woman?
They tended to be married and their husbands don't know anything about it.
Oh I see, if it goes against your moral code then you've made the right decision I would say."On an average day i say I have. On a bad day. I think "it wouldn't have been bad if I did it once or twice" as it wouldn't have happened again and I can that experience into the real world or even use it to get more meets off here. But I think I may end up regretting it. So its all or nothing with me. | |||
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"Well I have had offers and I have declined and not because of their looks. I just felt that I would be breaking my principles and lowering my morals if I slept with that type of woman. Pros and cons for doing that and my mind always goes back and fore to whether I made the right choice
What type of woman?
They tended to be married and their husbands don't know anything about it.
Oh I see, if it goes against your moral code then you've made the right decision I would say.
On an average day i say I have. On a bad day. I think "it wouldn't have been bad if I did it once or twice" as it wouldn't have happened again and I can that experience into the real world or even use it to get more meets off here. But I think I may end up regretting it. So its all or nothing with me."I see, can you see the slight irony in referring to "that type of woman"? | |||
"the be honest thats almost like playing "six degrees of seperation" on a website the only reason i would use it would be for example if someone was lying (for example saying they play safe... but then had loads of veri's that said they played bareback) but not just because they had played with someone I didn't like... thats sounds very "playground" to me.... Just because I don't particularly like someone, it doesn't mean everyone has to have to same taste as me...... Think that's what I meant but put better haha "Its not about liking or disliking them as a person, as you rightly said, I don't know them. Bareback is in there as well, which is partially what raised this initial question, but this also goes back to what someone else said, you meet people in clubs and they could of been fucking, whilst indulging in sexual roulette (bareback) themselves, that same, day, week, year.....Still flummoxed to be fair, but all good to hear other points of view  | |||
"I have been put off meeting new men due to an existing verification, but I would never dictate meets to an existing regular meet, especially if we got on enough for me to want to meet regularly." Ohhh NO!! neither would I...I come here for the craic and SEx!! I am under no illusions, as to why *honest* people are really here. I would never dream of dictating, to someone who they could and couldn't meet. Well other than my wife, but we have unwritten rules, which we both adhere to | |||
"the be honest thats almost like playing "six degrees of seperation" on a website the only reason i would use it would be for example if someone was lying (for example saying they play safe... but then had loads of veri's that said they played bareback) but not just because they had played with someone I didn't like... thats sounds very "playground" to me.... Just because I don't particularly like someone, it doesn't mean everyone has to have to same taste as me......" I'm with Fabio on this!
It would have to be something pretty friggin major for me to try and enforce my opinion on a FB or regular play buddy - just as I expect them to allow me the freedom to do as I wish, so long as it puts them at no risk!
But then to put them at risk - i'd be putting myself at risk!
And that just isn't going to happen! | |||
"the be honest thats almost like playing "six degrees of seperation" on a website the only reason i would use it would be for example if someone was lying (for example saying they play safe... but then had loads of veri's that said they played bareback) but not just because they had played with someone I didn't like... thats sounds very "playground" to me.... Just because I don't particularly like someone, it doesn't mean everyone has to have to same taste as me...... I'm with Fabio on this!
It would have to be something pretty friggin major for me to try and enforce my opinion on a FB or regular play buddy - just as I expect them to allow me the freedom to do as I wish, so long as it puts them at no risk!
But then to put them at risk - i'd be putting myself at risk!
And that just isn't going to happen! "No opinions being forced, from this end...but RISK! very good point | |||
"Well I have had offers and I have declined and not because of their looks. I just felt that I would be breaking my principles and lowering my morals if I slept with that type of woman. Pros and cons for doing that and my mind always goes back and fore to whether I made the right choice
What type of woman?
They tended to be married and their husbands don't know anything about it.
Oh I see, if it goes against your moral code then you've made the right decision I would say.
On an average day i say I have. On a bad day. I think "it wouldn't have been bad if I did it once or twice" as it wouldn't have happened again and I can that experience into the real world or even use it to get more meets off here. But I think I may end up regretting it. So its all or nothing with me.
I see, can you see the slight irony in referring to "that type of woman"?"I can't | |||
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"I cant believe how mortalist some people are on here. " i didnt realise upon joining this site i had to leave my morals at the door  | |||
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"I cant believe how mortalist some people are on here. i didnt realise upon joining this site i had to leave my morals at the door " | |||
"the be honest thats almost like playing "six degrees of seperation" on a website the only reason i would use it would be for example if someone was lying (for example saying they play safe... but then had loads of veri's that said they played bareback) but not just because they had played with someone I didn't like... thats sounds very "playground" to me.... Just because I don't particularly like someone, it doesn't mean everyone has to have to same taste as me......" | |||
"Well I have had offers and I have declined and not because of their looks. I just felt that I would be breaking my principles and lowering my morals if I slept with that type of woman. Pros and cons for doing that and my mind always goes back and fore to whether I made the right choice
What type of woman?
They tended to be married and their husbands don't know anything about it.
Oh I see, if it goes against your moral code then you've made the right decision I would say.
On an average day i say I have. On a bad day. I think "it wouldn't have been bad if I did it once or twice" as it wouldn't have happened again and I can that experience into the real world or even use it to get more meets off here. But I think I may end up regretting it. So its all or nothing with me.
I see, can you see the slight irony in referring to "that type of woman"?
I can't "You're implying that "that type of woman" is going against your moral code but you consider doing it once or twice to get experience and improve your chances of meeting on here....makes you teh same as them doesn't it? | |||
"Well I have had offers and I have declined and not because of their looks. I just felt that I would be breaking my principles and lowering my morals if I slept with that type of woman. Pros and cons for doing that and my mind always goes back and fore to whether I made the right choice
What type of woman?
They tended to be married and their husbands don't know anything about it.
Oh I see, if it goes against your moral code then you've made the right decision I would say.
On an average day i say I have. On a bad day. I think "it wouldn't have been bad if I did it once or twice" as it wouldn't have happened again and I can that experience into the real world or even use it to get more meets off here. But I think I may end up regretting it. So its all or nothing with me.
I see, can you see the slight irony in referring to "that type of woman"?
I can't
You're implying that "that type of woman" is going against your moral code but you consider doing it once or twice to get experience and improve your chances of meeting on here....makes you teh same as them doesn't it?"No as they do it without a thought about the consequences and they really aren't gaining out of doing it. Also as I said I didn't agree to doing so for this very reason. So I am not the same. | |||
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"I cant believe how mortalist some people are on here. i didnt realise upon joining this site i had to leave my morals at the door
" | |||
Got to be that trust though i suppose. | |||
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"I only really check verifications to see theres nothing fake..as for who and how they play?- none of my business then where does it end?- Ive slept with someone too old? someone too fat? or both... if people dont like who I meet/met...they can fuck off...simple." i think its more on the cleanliness side of the person not age , height , weight etc... if you know the person they have met are not very hygienic then me personally wouldnt go there afterwards..  | |||
"I only really check verifications to see theres nothing fake..as for who and how they play?- none of my business then where does it end?- Ive slept with someone too old? someone too fat? or both... if people dont like who I meet/met...they can fuck off...simple. i think its more on the cleanliness side of the person not age , height , weight etc... if you know the person they have met are not very hygienic then me personally wouldnt go there afterwards.. " | |||
"I only really check verifications to see theres nothing fake..as for who and how they play?- none of my business then where does it end?- Ive slept with someone too old? someone too fat? or both... if people dont like who I meet/met...they can fuck off...simple. i think its more on the cleanliness side of the person not age , height , weight etc... if you know the person they have met are not very hygienic then me personally wouldnt go there afterwards.. "its came up in a similar post...unless uve met the person in question, how can u know they are unclean???????- hearsay? great start! lol | |||
"I only really check verifications to see theres nothing fake..as for who and how they play?- none of my business then where does it end?- Ive slept with someone too old? someone too fat? or both... if people dont like who I meet/met...they can fuck off...simple. i think its more on the cleanliness side of the person not age , height , weight etc... if you know the person they have met are not very hygienic then me personally wouldnt go there afterwards..
its came up in a similar post...unless uve met the person in question, how can u know they are unclean???????- hearsay? great start! lol"no not hearsay ... people i would of met in person so therefore know for a fact... or sometimes you can tell by someones surroundings on pictures etc on their cleanliness... if someones house looks like the local tip i wouldnt say their personal hygiene was up to much either ... | |||
"I only really check verifications to see theres nothing fake..as for who and how they play?- none of my business then where does it end?- Ive slept with someone too old? someone too fat? or both... if people dont like who I meet/met...they can fuck off...simple. i think its more on the cleanliness side of the person not age , height , weight etc... if you know the person they have met are not very hygienic then me personally wouldnt go there afterwards..
its came up in a similar post...unless uve met the person in question, how can u know they are unclean???????- hearsay? great start! lol
no not hearsay ... people i would of met in person so therefore know for a fact... or sometimes you can tell by someones surroundings on pictures etc on their cleanliness... if someones house looks like the local tip i wouldnt say their personal hygiene was up to much either ... "am off to tidy my room...fancy a fuck? | |||
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"This is a typical example of a person who has a higher opinion of herself than others may have. Some women get a superiority complex on here due to the amount of males chasing for sex spparently has the op has. Using terminology such as meeting uglies. You should show people more respect. It may be your fwb prefers the others to you and may well be happy youd no longer want to fuck him. You dont have to lower your standards if you feel your better than them just respect your fwb choice of who he wants to play with. I expect if you were out dining with him and he chose a meal you didnt like would you refuse to eat with him again." some women have a superiority complex, not because they are on here but because they are good looking and they have always been treated like they are special because of that. I suppose its better than having an inferiority complex though.  | |||
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"I am also with Fabio on this. However, in the past I had a FB (not on this site) and stopped seeing him because he was having regular meets with people who played BB and he still is. I don't know if he plays safe or goes BB but I do know the people he is meeting do play BB and advertise that is what they prefer. Now I know some will say that as long as I played with condoms when with him then what difference did it make? But I don't use condoms for oral, so like to think that the people I am playing with are sensible in who they meet (I know there are no guarantees and I doubt any of us ask about this kind of things in a club situation) but knowing he was willing to take those kinds of risks, and also put me at risk, made me uncomfortable, and no matter how good he was, I will never play with him again, no matter how much I miss the meets. So yes, I suppose I cut my nose off to spite may face, but I have my own standards and I for my own peace of mind, I had to keep to them. Cate, if it don't feel right carrying on meeting the person, and you dislike the other person they are meeting, for whatever reason, then, don't go back there. Its your body and only you can decide who you do and don't play with." | |||
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"What would you do? *IF* When looking to meet, you look at the persons, profile, pictures, etc. Also you read their verifications and some if not more of the people's who have left them theirs. If when doing so you see someone who wouldn't be your cup of tea, you decline to meet the person. " OP - your 'not my cup of tea' phrase encapsulates the problem - and the problem lies with you, not your FB/FWB. I'm assuming (dangerous, I know) that you have no more of a relationship with your FB/FWB other than you get on, and have mutually satisfying sex together? In other words, there's no hint of a vanilla/loving element to the relationship? If that IS the case, what business is it of yours who else he sees? - other than if he's blatantly lying about something which could potentially do you physical harm - ie. playing bareback and lying to you about it and running the STI risks associated with it. My partner Ruby has a little group of guys now who she sees (individually! Lol!) when she wants/they want. Now, there may be one or two who I don't care for very much (she may not care for the women I see on my own either), but she sees them because they press the right buttons for HER - not ME. It's the same as when your kids start school - they will develop friends, some of whom you may not like, but your kids like them and they are THEIR friends. They are not YOUR friends and never will be. It's the same with your FB/FWB - the other people he sees are HIS 'friends'/meets and not YOURS. If the people he's meeting ARE affecting you to such an extent that you felt the need to offload here, then I would respectfully (there's that word again..) suggest you need to examine more closely YOUR feelings and ask yourself what it is you are really looking for from your FB/FWB.... Just a thought or five..... ted. | |||
"This is a typical example of a person who has a higher opinion of herself than others may have. Some women get a superiority complex on here due to the amount of males chasing for sex spparently has the op has. Using terminology such as meeting uglies. You should show people more respect. It may be your fwb prefers the others to you and may well be happy youd no longer want to fuck him. You dont have to lower your standards if you feel your better than them just respect your fwb choice of who he wants to play with. I expect if you were out dining with him and he chose a meal you didnt like would you refuse to eat with him again." I feel you have the wrong end of the stick, I am far from stuck up, my own arse....maybe re-read what I actually wrote, as I called nobody ugly! | |||
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. A sense of humour is needed for this site especially with some of the emails and request that you women get. Just be yourself go relax and if you get some fun Happy Days but if not theres always next time. It works for me and im a bloke.xx | |||
"Im with _abio on this everyone has their own taste some you fancy some you don't ....some people are fussy some are not fussy.......each to their own....let people set their own standard to meets everyone is different .. "I agree too. Try not to judge too much on profiles at all - we've actually played with people in clubs, gone to add them when we get home and find we've already blocked them in the past! Best to just see how you get on when you meet - everything else roles into insignificance.
D | |||
"This is a typical example of a person who has a higher opinion of herself than others may have. Some women get a superiority complex on here due to the amount of males chasing for sex spparently has the op has. Using terminology such as meeting uglies. You should show people more respect. It may be your fwb prefers the others to you and may well be happy youd no longer want to fuck him. You dont have to lower your standards if you feel your better than them just respect your fwb choice of who he wants to play with. I expect if you were out dining with him and he chose a meal you didnt like would you refuse to eat with him again. I feel you have the wrong end of the stick, I am far from stuck up, my own arse....maybe re-read what I actually wrote, as I called nobody ugly! "She is referring to the comment you made in your original post where you have said 'hadn't bumped uglies' | |||
"She is referring to the comment you made in your original post where you have said 'hadn't bumped uglies'" 'Bumping uglies' is a euphemism for having sex, the OP didn't call anyone ugly! Cate, I'm with you on this one, I frequently 'cut off my nose to spite my face' but ultimately I rarely regret it...I've turned down repeat meets with guys because of veris received since our fun (and not because the fems were old/ugly/better than me, but because they played bareback and were extremely active and seemingly unfussy). Judgemental and moralistic? Maybe. But I won't risk my health or lower my standards just because a guy is great in bed...as they say there's plenty more fish in the sea, some of us just use a finer net! | |||
"She is referring to the comment you made in your original post where you have said 'hadn't bumped uglies' 'Bumping uglies' is a euphemism for having sex, the OP didn't call anyone ugly! Cate, I'm with you on this one, I frequently 'cut off my nose to spite my face' but ultimately I rarely regret it...I've turned down repeat meets with guys because of veris received since our fun (and not because the fems were old/ugly/better than me, but because they played bareback and were extremely active and seemingly unfussy). Judgemental and moralistic? Maybe. But I won't risk my health or lower my standards just because a guy is great in bed...as they say there's plenty more fish in the sea, some of us just use a finer net! "finally someone who actually read the post | |||
" I frequently 'cut off my nose to spite my face' but ultimately I rarely regret it...I've turned down repeat meets with guys because of veris received since our fun (and not because the fems were old/ugly/better than me, but because they played bareback and were extremely active and seemingly unfussy). Judgemental and moralistic? Maybe. But I won't risk my health or lower my standards just because a guy is great in bed...as they say there's plenty more fish in the sea, some of us just use a finer net! "My thoughts exactly and if that makes me judgemental and moralistic, then so be it but at least I know I am doing all I can to protect my health. | |||
"Cate, you waffly woman!! Yes, if I had a Friends With Benefits who subsequently had sex with someone I couldn't respect, then I would stop seeing that FWB. If he doesn't respect himself enough to choose his partners carefully, then I don't respect him enough to get intimate again. Plenty more fish in the sea!" Thank goodness you explained that - I read it 3 times and still didn't understand the question...lol | |||
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"What would you do? *IF* When looking to meet, you look at the persons, profile, pictures, etc. Also you read their verifications and some if not more of the people's who have left them theirs. If when doing so you see someone who wouldn't be your cup of tea, you decline to meet the person. (if you think this is silly, that's cool, I still have a question) So with this in mind, you have a friend with benefits, who at the time of first meeting, hadn't bumped uglies with anyone you personally wouldn't, or at least had no verifications showing so. Yes, I know, there could be ones you haven't seen and yes I also know this may sound a bit twatty or a little stuck-up. But, we all have standards, they just differ on height..........So, after all of this waffle, my questions is. Do you carry on seeing the FB? Its certainly not a steak and burger situation, more of a laying with dogs and getting fleas, kinda thing
*puts on kevlar, for all the bullets*
Seriously though, have you had a similar situation and what did you do? or do do? ....ha dodo!! "I afraid I lost track of what you were waffling about after the first paragraph | |||
.......Yes, ok. So maybe I say sixty words instead of 6, but I am not regretful in asking the original question. I have answered some of the replies, in here, rather than flood the thread. But come on, you can't really blame me, for wanting to respond........
HotRubyandBigTed:-
All good points you make, even if somewhat irrelevant. Its not about relationships or offloading, last time I checked the forums are here for myself and fellow Fabsters to pose, ponder and pound away at?? But thanks for your five thoughts all the same.
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Angeleus:-
Thank you
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Miss Dee Vine:-
Give that girl a HUGE gold star!! and thank you for reading past my waffle 
It's a term we use in these parts lol...straight from good old Urban...'Sex between a male and a female "C'mon baby, lets got get a pizza and bump uglies back at my place"'
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Somersets secrete:-
This is very very true, and trust me I am not behind the door. When I wrote the original question, there are so many factors, I hadn't considered, and ALL of the comments have been food for thought.
I always stand by, 'you can only believe, what someone tells you' and he has as far as I am aware, been very honest, which is great, but also left me feeling a bit icky, under the skin. Why?, because I DON'T fuck bareback, I am not a fan of sexual roulette!...Do I judge people that do? fucking damn straight I do!! I would also like to point out, that the guy has also read this thread, as I also don't tell lies. It was always about "how can you not value yourself? and health, not more, but at all!!?"....Never about saying, you can't this! or can't that! (who am I to lay that kind of shit down!)
In the words of Jerry Springer (oh yeh, I am going there!)....It's just a show. It's not the end of Western Civilization. It's chewing gum....spit it out and move on | |||
"She is referring to the comment you made in your original post where you have said 'hadn't bumped uglies' 'Bumping uglies' is a euphemism for having sex, the OP didn't call anyone ugly! Cate, I'm with you on this one, I frequently 'cut off my nose to spite my face' but ultimately I rarely regret it...I've turned down repeat meets with guys because of veris received since our fun (and not because the fems were old/ugly/better than me, but because they played bareback and were extremely active and seemingly unfussy). Judgemental and moralistic? Maybe. But I won't risk my health or lower my standards just because a guy is great in bed...as they say there's plenty more fish in the sea, some of us just use a finer net! "Except I am commenting on a comment Cate was commenting on so I wasn't saying she had | |||
