FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Age issue
Age issue
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
My girlfriend and I are very serious about swinging. I check the site everyday and I talk to a lot of people but mostly our age can be an issue to some people. Its been a long time since we have met someone and its becoming frustrating. There are a lot of people that have on their profile that they will meet a person as young as 18 and then tell me we're too young. Please do something about this! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What do you expect the admin to do make people meet you "
No, thats silly but something needs to be done because this isnt fair at all. And yes I know life isnt fair but we're serious about this and its stupid when people "shoot us down" so to speak. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"What do you expect the admin to do make people meet you
No, thats silly but something needs to be done because this isnt fair at all. And yes I know life isnt fair but we're serious about this and its stupid when people "shoot us down" so to speak."
What isn't fair exactly? That people have age preferences? What exactly do you want to be done?
I think you're being a bit silly really. And very naive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think the lower 18 limit is just there because people don't bother changing it when they set up their profile!
As for thinking its not fair. From what I've seen the vast majority of couples on this site are mid 30's and over and don't want to meet with people who's age are close to their children. So there's not much you can do about it. Just search for young couples who are looking for young couples. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think the lower 18 limit is just there because people don't bother changing it when they set up their profile!
As for thinking its not fair. From what I've seen the vast majority of couples on this site are mid 30's and over and don't want to meet with people who's age are close to their children. So there's not much you can do about it. Just search for young couples who are looking for young couples. "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think the lower 18 limit is just there because people don't bother changing it when they set up their profile!
As for thinking its not fair. From what I've seen the vast majority of couples on this site are mid 30's and over and don't want to meet with people who's age are close to their children. So there's not much you can do about it. Just search for young couples who are looking for young couples. "
Thats what is stupid. It reminds them of family. We know the difference between family and swingers. We dont mind meeting people that are old enough to be our parents. Its a "two way street" so to speak. So whats the deal? We're swingers, we like it, and we're active. Age is just a number, its all about maturity. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"I think the lower 18 limit is just there because people don't bother changing it when they set up their profile!
As for thinking its not fair. From what I've seen the vast majority of couples on this site are mid 30's and over and don't want to meet with people who's age are close to their children. So there's not much you can do about it. Just search for young couples who are looking for young couples.
Thats what is stupid. It reminds them of family. We know the difference between family and swingers. We dont mind meeting people that are old enough to be our parents. Its a "two way street" so to speak. So whats the deal? We're swingers, we like it, and we're active. Age is just a number, its all about maturity."
So hold on a minute, let me get this straight. You are criticising peoples' personal preferences because they see you as too young for them to meet? That's just not on and will not do you any favours. Not everyone wants to go that much younger or older than them!
On your profile you say "we respect any wishes you may have". I think you need to have a good hard think about what you mean by this. As if someone states that their wish is to not meet someone as young as yourselves, what do you say to them exactly? You should just respect someone's wishes and move on.
And how dare you say that someone's preference about age is stupid. That will not make you any friends.
You are both VERY young. You need to accept that the majority of folk on here are much older than you and will not meet with someone so young.
Just suck it up and search for couples that are closer to you in age. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think the lower 18 limit is just there because people don't bother changing it when they set up their profile!
As for thinking its not fair. From what I've seen the vast majority of couples on this site are mid 30's and over and don't want to meet with people who's age are close to their children. So there's not much you can do about it. Just search for young couples who are looking for young couples.
Thats what is stupid. It reminds them of family. We know the difference between family and swingers. We dont mind meeting people that are old enough to be our parents. Its a "two way street" so to speak. So whats the deal? We're swingers, we like it, and we're active. Age is just a number, its all about maturity.
So hold on a minute, let me get this straight. You are criticising peoples' personal preferences because they see you as too young for them to meet? That's just not on and will not do you any favours. Not everyone wants to go that much younger or older than them!
On your profile you say "we respect any wishes you may have". I think you need to have a good hard think about what you mean by this. As if someone states that their wish is to not meet someone as young as yourselves, what do you say to them exactly? You should just respect someone's wishes and move on.
And how dare you say that someone's preference about age is stupid. That will not make you any friends.
You are both VERY young. You need to accept that the majority of folk on here are much older than you and will not meet with someone so young.
Just suck it up and search for couples that are closer to you in age."
Point taken. But the people our age (and local too!) arent serious it seems. I send them messages, they read them but they dont reply...really? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I think the lower 18 limit is just there because people don't bother changing it when they set up their profile!
As for thinking its not fair. From what I've seen the vast majority of couples on this site are mid 30's and over and don't want to meet with people who's age are close to their children. So there's not much you can do about it. Just search for young couples who are looking for young couples.
Thats what is stupid. It reminds them of family. We know the difference between family and swingers. We dont mind meeting people that are old enough to be our parents. Its a "two way street" so to speak. So whats the deal? We're swingers, we like it, and we're active. Age is just a number, its all about maturity."
Yes age is just a number, but some people like their numbers bigger
You can't expect people to meet you just because you say it isn't an issue for you. People have a choice of who they meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"
Point taken. But the people our age (and local too!) arent serious it seems. I send them messages, they read them but they dont reply...really?"
So basically you are just here for a moan. You complain in your post that something needs to be done. What would you propose? We can't exactly change people's preferences to make you fit their criteria now can we? We can't exactly force people to reply to your messages or meet you.
You are being very naive. Just keep sending messages. Get yourself in the chatroom to get to now people, join in the forums banter. There is no other way to to get people to notice you.
But there is one way to get people to pass you by - a moaning forum thread comes to mind. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think the OP has 3 separate issues here,his first is that when he contacts people who as far as he can see would not be put off the age thing, is knocked back because of age.
That would be like me putting 'looking for tv/ts/cd and then when messages saying sorry no 'tv/ts/cd' That part is a legitimate moan about profiles. If those people also have 99 as their upper limit, take it with a pinch of salt.
The second issue is a lot more to do with age. I was lucky that I had some liberal male and female friends when I was 16+ and we experimented a lot.
The problem is a lot (not all) young couples are still finding themselves, some are not interested in swinging etc, swinging with a partner takes trust and understanding and the ability to let go of insecurities.
This is harder for younger people as naturally their relationships have not had time to get to that point.
Finally, if people don't reply it generally means they are not interested. That could be something in your profile, looks or the message itself.Everyone has their tastes. In the same way I doubt you message every profile you search and find. Maybe look at couples similar to you, UK wide, who have had meets on here and read their profiles (even if you don't want to meet) You could be selling gold but if it's in a tin marked chicken turds no-one gunna buy it. My 2c
Hope you find what you want
Rover |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Point taken. But the people our age (and local too!) arent serious it seems. I send them messages, they read them but they dont reply...really?"
Have you considered one important point? They may just not be attracted to you and therefore not interested in meeting/replying? 
You've used the word 'maturity' in this thread - but with all due respect - and this is in no way related to your age - maturity is not a word I'd associate with much of what I have read on this thread!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Also what I forgot to put was some younger couples may like the idea but when genuine active swingers contact them like yourselves. It gets real, and then the issues above come into play.
Not all young couples, and some older couples. but my 2c  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Point taken. But the people our age (and local too!) arent serious it seems. I send them messages, they read them but they dont reply...really?
So basically you are just here for a moan. You complain in your post that something needs to be done. What would you propose? We can't exactly change people's preferences to make you fit their criteria now can we? We can't exactly force people to reply to your messages or meet you.
You are being very naive. Just keep sending messages. Get yourself in the chatroom to get to now people, join in the forums banter. There is no other way to to get people to notice you.
But there is one way to get people to pass you by - a moaning forum thread comes to mind."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe look at couples similar to you, UK wide, who have had meets on here and read their profiles (even if you don't want to meet) "
I doubt many couples would travel to Texas!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"
You've used the word 'maturity' in this thread - but with all due respect - and this is in no way related to your age - maturity is not a word I'd associate with much of what I have read on this thread!!"
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *cott katieCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury Shropshire |
I think the point trying to be made is if you don't want to meet anyone around your children's age then change the age preferences on your profile to state that x don't just presume that because your 40 a younger couple wouldn't be interested x and same goes for younger swingers not wanting to meet older people x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think the lower 18 limit is just there because people don't bother changing it when they set up their profile!
As for thinking its not fair. From what I've seen the vast majority of couples on this site are mid 30's and over and don't want to meet with people who's age are close to their children. So there's not much you can do about it. Just search for young couples who are looking for young couples.
Thats what is stupid. It reminds them of family. We know the difference between family and swingers. We dont mind meeting people that are old enough to be our parents. Its a "two way street" so to speak. So whats the deal? We're swingers, we like it, and we're active. Age is just a number, its all about maturity."
If age is just a number may I ask why you have your upper age range set to 49? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would strongly suggest you move to Ireland the country of a thousand welcomes. When you land just ask anybody to point you in mr and mrs houch direction. We would make you feel very warm and welcome....  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arry50Man
over a year ago
northern jersey |
Age is nothing but a number and there are older couples that will swing with young couples. You just have to find them. Why would any body put age up to 99. Lol my age cut off is 70. A least she maybe can still get her leg up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Age is nothing but a number and there are older couples that will swing with young couples. You just have to find them. Why would any body put age up to 99. Lol my age cut off is 70. A least she maybe can still get her leg up."
Again, if age is nothing but a number why have minimum 30 and upper 70? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I read your opening thread and posted a response. I then went back and read all the other posts. Jeez Louise....some people just seem to like to jump down others throats.
Respect guys....please....
Nowhere in their post have they asked Admin to do anything. And the ageist comments are just unfair. Not exactly a great way to encourage new blood into the swinging fraternity. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the lower 18 limit is just there because people don't bother changing it when they set up their profile!
As for thinking its not fair. From what I've seen the vast majority of couples on this site are mid 30's and over and don't want to meet with people who's age are close to their children. So there's not much you can do about it. Just search for young couples who are looking for young couples.
Thats what is stupid. It reminds them of family. We know the difference between family and swingers. We dont mind meeting people that are old enough to be our parents. Its a "two way street" so to speak. So whats the deal? We're swingers, we like it, and we're active. Age is just a number, its all about maturity."
actually that's not what it's about for me as I don't have children. Age really really isn't just a number, it's a general indication about all kinds of things we may or may not have in common. I work with a lot of people your ages and while I get on with them fine, I don't choose to socialize with them and I don't find them at all sexually attractive.
You mention maturity but your sense of entitlement and your childish insistence that it's somehow unfair and admin's responsibility to sort this out for you and your utter dismissal of peoples right to express a preference because it excludes you mentionjust confirms to me that my choice is the correct one |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"
You mention maturity but your sense of entitlement and your childish insistence that it's somehow unfair and admin's responsibility to sort this out for you and your utter dismissal of peoples right to express a preference because it excludes you mentionjust confirms to me that my choice is the correct one"
To be fair, I don't think they were aiming their comment of 'something needs to be done' at admin. I think they were telling people to have their age preferences set appropriately on their profile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nowhere in their post have they asked Admin to do anything.
The post was originally posted in the site help section, it is probably why people commented on that bit "
Exactly this if posted in the site help section it's infered that the site needs to fix the issue |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Point taken. But the people our age (and local too!) arent serious it seems. I send them messages, they read them but they dont reply...really?
Have you considered one important point? They may just not be attracted to you and therefore not interested in meeting/replying?
You've used the word 'maturity' in this thread - but with all due respect - and this is in no way related to your age - maturity is not a word I'd associate with much of what I have read on this thread!!"
Couldn't have put it better..... so I won't.
ted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Point taken. But the people our age (and local too!) arent serious it seems. I send them messages, they read them but they dont reply...really?
Have you considered one important point? They may just not be attracted to you and therefore not interested in meeting/replying?
You've used the word 'maturity' in this thread - but with all due respect - and this is in no way related to your age - maturity is not a word I'd associate with much of what I have read on this thread!!"
This, all of it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My girlfriend and I are very serious about swinging. I check the site everyday and I talk to a lot of people but mostly our age can be an issue to some people. Its been a long time since we have met someone and its becoming frustrating. There are a lot of people that have on their profile that they will meet a person as young as 18 and then tell me we're too young. Please do something about this!"
okay for most swingers a mature mental attitude is more important. However i have to say you have not shown a mature attitude with this post.
Also you may message people but maybe you are not just their type and maybe age isnt the main issue. however if your messages contain anything along the lines of age shouldnt matter you may be coming across as not mature enough.
I really dont get who you expect to do what.. you cant make people meet anyone. that is not the correct attitude for this lifestyle. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Age is just a number, it's about maturity.
Its not fair.
Take a good long look at these two telling phrases you use and you may gain an understanding of
a) maturity
b) age"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the lower 18 limit is just there because people don't bother changing it when they set up their profile!
As for thinking its not fair. From what I've seen the vast majority of couples on this site are mid 30's and over and don't want to meet with people who's age are close to their children. So there's not much you can do about it. Just search for young couples who are looking for young couples.
Thats what is stupid. It reminds them of family. We know the difference between family and swingers. We dont mind meeting people that are old enough to be our parents. Its a "two way street" so to speak. So whats the deal? We're swingers, we like it, and we're active. Age is just a number, its all about maturity."
For some of us maturity doesn't come into it, it is wholly about age |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"it's not fair"
and
"it's stupid"
.... two very immature comments.
People meet whoever they choose to meet. Just because my profile says 18 to 99 doesn't mean I will meet all kids who ask. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"You can be young but be mature for you age. I was teenager and hangout with peoples old than me and I grow up fast. Maturity is the best age"
No they just think they are. Simple as. Genuine maturity only comes with age. Someone may well have a lot of 'life experiences' but how they deal with them will differ according to age. The older people are the more likely they are to cope better due to maturity gained through the wisdom of age. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We're NOT looking for a one night fling"
umm you do know what swingers do don't you?? i mean it great to make friends, but this line would put me right off. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A preference be it age or otherwise is there for a reason. You just have to respect it and move on and find someone that suits you.
..if someone is not interested. Dont spit your dummy out. Just move forward to your next interest..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I read your opening thread and posted a response. I then went back and read all the other posts. Jeez Louise....some people just seem to like to jump down others throats.
Respect guys....please....
Nowhere in their post have they asked Admin to do anything. And the ageist comments are just unfair. Not exactly a great way to encourage new blood into the swinging fraternity. "
great post.
have found that there is some arrogant opinionated peeps on here who think they are the mutts nutts and seem to take pleasure in jumping down peeps throats.
the op are just having a rough time which no doubt will pass. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I kinda get where the OP is coming from regarding people having age range starting at 18 on the profile then saying that they are too young. This is because the default setting when you first join is 18 - 99 and I'm sure many folk just forget to actually change it so they will turn up on searches...perhaps a suggestion to Admin to make the age limit boxes blank to force an entry would aid in stopping this happening |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I read your opening thread and posted a response. I then went back and read all the other posts. Jeez Louise....some people just seem to like to jump down others throats.
Respect guys....please....
Nowhere in their post have they asked Admin to do anything. And the ageist comments are just unfair. Not exactly a great way to encourage new blood into the swinging fraternity.
great post.
have found that there is some arrogant opinionated peeps on here who think they are the mutts nutts and seem to take pleasure in jumping down peeps throats.
the op are just having a rough time which no doubt will pass. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I will admit, the messages I receive that disagree with my age preference doe piss me off! And I am sick and tired of being quoted 'age is just a number'
To me it isn't and I don't even have kids! I just work with people in their 20's and hear the everyday conversations and that is enough to make me stick to my own age group.
Do I apologise for this? Not a chance in hell, I decide who I meet and when  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think the point trying to be made is if you don't want to meet anyone around your children's age then change the age preferences on your profile to state that x don't just presume that because your 40 a younger couple wouldn't be interested x and same goes for younger swingers not wanting to meet older people x"
Thank you for understanding me. Thats basically what I was trying to say. If your profile says you are interested in ages as low as 18 and you're within driving distance then ill message you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Age is nothing but a number and there are older couples that will swing with young couples. You just have to find them. Why would any body put age up to 99. Lol my age cut off is 70. A least she maybe can still get her leg up.
Again, if age is nothing but a number why have minimum 30 and upper 70?"
If their minimum is set to 30 then I will keep on scrolling but again if its set to where we fall within range then its not my fault if their not interested. They need to fix that so it doesnt happen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
You mention maturity but your sense of entitlement and your childish insistence that it's somehow unfair and admin's responsibility to sort this out for you and your utter dismissal of peoples right to express a preference because it excludes you mentionjust confirms to me that my choice is the correct one
To be fair, I don't think they were aiming their comment of 'something needs to be done' at admin. I think they were telling people to have their age preferences set appropriately on their profile."
Thank you! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Personally I think that age is indeed a number, however I can see both sides of the coin re the age issue.
It might be how your profile comes across in this I am not saying that it is good or bad just an idea of trying a different tact.
I am sure that there are plenty of people who will meet and play with you guys. From what you are saying it seems that you feel that albeit you have tried to arrange meets etc that it seems non existent. Do you guys go to clubs?. Do you have social events for the swinging community?.
Just idea's for you both to get known within your local swinging community.
I wish you both all the luck in the world, keep plugging away and am sure it will all come to fruition for you both. x  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You mention maturity but your sense of entitlement and your childish insistence that it's somehow unfair and admin's responsibility to sort this out for you and your utter dismissal of peoples right to express a preference because it excludes you mentionjust confirms to me that my choice is the correct one
To be fair, I don't think they were aiming their comment of 'something needs to be done' at admin. I think they were telling people to have their age preferences set appropriately on their profile.
Thank you!"
Why was the post originally posted in the site help section then ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"My girlfriend and I are very serious about swinging. I check the site everyday and I talk to a lot of people but mostly our age can be an issue to some people. Its been a long time since we have met someone and its becoming frustrating. There are a lot of people that have on their profile that they will meet a person as young as 18 and then tell me we're too young. Please do something about this!"
not everyone want to play with people old enough to be their mums or dads...
conversely..
not everyone wants to play with people young enough to be their sons and daughters...
after all, even you both have an age range..... if you want people to respect yours, then you have to respect others.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try clubs!!are they old enough to get in"
I am, she is not. Thats why we're on this site. Plus there arent any clubs that I know of around us. All I ask is for some help. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My girlfriend and I are very serious about swinging. I check the site everyday and I talk to a lot of people but mostly our age can be an issue to some people. Its been a long time since we have met someone and its becoming frustrating. There are a lot of people that have on their profile that they will meet a person as young as 18 and then tell me we're too young. Please do something about this!
not everyone want to play with people old enough to be their mums or dads...
conversely..
not everyone wants to play with people young enough to be their sons and daughters...
after all, even you both have an age range..... if you want people to respect yours, then you have to respect others...."
This is not a case of them not respecting people's age range, indeed they say if the age range is 30 then they simply move on. Having your age range set at 18 to 99 (as ours is) leaves you open to receiving mail from people within these age ranges. If you then respond to them saying your too young then you need to adjust your settings. Again the op has done nothing wrong in mailing these people it's the receivers of the mail that need to change their profile details.
I do think that we as an adult group of people, we need to look at ourselves and reply appropriately to anybody coming into or thinking of coming into the swing scene regardless of age, after all there is no such thing as a stupid question, only a stupid answer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
This is not a case of them not respecting people's age range, indeed they say if the age range is 30 then they simply move on. Having your age range set at 18 to 99 (as ours is) leaves you open to receiving mail from people within these age ranges. If you then respond to them saying your too young then you need to adjust your settings. Again the op has done nothing wrong in mailing these people it's the receivers of the mail that need to change their profile details.
I do think that we as an adult group of people, we need to look at ourselves and reply appropriately to anybody coming into or thinking of coming into the swing scene regardless of age, after all there is no such thing as a stupid question, only a stupid answer. "
i disagree....
if you are going to make a complaint with regards to other peoples age ranges about who they meet...... and they have an age range of their own, then it is absolutely valid to bring it up......
it is about choice... with regard to respecting others, just as you would like your respected.....
for example... you aren't looking for men, so if i mail you am i not respecting your choice????
so people wont look at age, but you have to recognise that some people will.... that isn't denegrating one age group or another... that is life, and who you may or may not feel comfortable around...hence the choices we all make!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
This is not a case of them not respecting people's age range, indeed they say if the age range is 30 then they simply move on. Having your age range set at 18 to 99 (as ours is) leaves you open to receiving mail from people within these age ranges. If you then respond to them saying your too young then you need to adjust your settings. Again the op has done nothing wrong in mailing these people it's the receivers of the mail that need to change their profile details.
I do think that we as an adult group of people, we need to look at ourselves and reply appropriately to anybody coming into or thinking of coming into the swing scene regardless of age, after all there is no such thing as a stupid question, only a stupid answer.
i disagree....
if you are going to make a complaint with regards to other peoples age ranges about who they meet...... and they have an age range of their own, then it is absolutely valid to bring it up......
it is about choice... with regard to respecting others, just as you would like your respected.....
for example... you aren't looking for men, so if i mail you am i not respecting your choice????
so people wont look at age, but you have to recognise that some people will.... that isn't denegrating one age group or another... that is life, and who you may or may not feel comfortable around...hence the choices we all make!!"
If someone has on their profile that they wish to only meet people between 18 and 99 and then say sorry your too young when a cpl 21/19 mail them then they have not disrespected their wishes. It is the receiver that needs to change their profile details. The op has an age limit on their profile of 18-49. This is their wish and should be respected. If people haven't adjusted their age range on their profile from the standard 18-99 and then receive a mail from the op then I fail to see how the op has disrespected their wishes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the point trying to be made is if you don't want to meet anyone around your children's age then change the age preferences on your profile to state that x don't just presume that because your 40 a younger couple wouldn't be interested x and same goes for younger swingers not wanting to meet older people x
Thank you for understanding me. Thats basically what I was trying to say. If your profile says you are interested in ages as low as 18 and you're within driving distance then ill message you."
But what you also said quite clearly is that you think people who choose not to meet people of your age are...let me just check the wording...oh yeah...stupid...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the point trying to be made is if you don't want to meet anyone around your children's age then change the age preferences on your profile to state that x don't just presume that because your 40 a younger couple wouldn't be interested x and same goes for younger swingers not wanting to meet older people x
Thank you for understanding me. Thats basically what I was trying to say. If your profile says you are interested in ages as low as 18 and you're within driving distance then ill message you.
But what you also said quite clearly is that you think people who choose not to meet people of your age are...let me just check the wording...oh yeah...stupid...
"
They haven't called anybody stupid just the concept. Perhaps not the best turn of phrase but the haven't called anybody stupid. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try clubs!!are they old enough to get in
I am, she is not. Thats why we're on this site. Plus there arent any clubs that I know of around us. All I ask is for some help."
I'm assuming that you have to be 21 to go into an adult club in the USA..??? It's 18 in the UK although you will find 18yr olds make up a very tiny percentage (if any) of those who go.
The 'we don't shag people young enough to be our kids' stand point aside, the number one reason which would prevent anyone wanting to meet you is what some of us have already touched on - Maturity.
Take you, the guy, first. You're 21. Now, are you 21 going on 35..?, or are you 21 going on 15..? and (as Forumites will know..) as I have said before... are you going to turn up paying more attention to your Nintendo DS or the couple you are meeting..??? And before you protest - it HAS happened!
Given the apparent age restrictions in the USA on club entry, I have to say I think you are going to have to suck it up and accept you have got nearly 24 months to wait before you can really get going in the Swinging world. It will pass by quicker than you think, and the two of you will have plenty of time to talk about everything and really understand what you both want to get out of it.
Sorry to sound like your Dad, but.....
ted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" If their minimum is set to 30 then I will keep on scrolling but again if its set to where we fall within range then its not my fault if their not interested. They need to fix that so it doesnt happen."
I disagree, sorry!
My age range is set as 18 to 99. I won't HAVE SEX with an 18 year old or a 99 year old, but this site is about more than just sex. I will happily chat with anyone of any age.
I'm not going to filter out youngsters or people who are older than me, because it's likely they're gonna say things that I find interesting and informative. Likewise, I ain't gonna filter out women or couples (who I won't have sex with) and that's because I think they are valuable human beings who likely have something interesting to say. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Take you, the guy, first. You're 21. Now, are you 21 going on 35..?, or are you 21 going on 15..? and (as Forumites will know..) as I have said before... are you going to turn up paying more attention to your Nintendo DS or the couple you are meeting..??? And before you protest - it HAS happened!
I'm really aghast at some of the comments from adults in this thread. I know lots of 40 yr old men who regularly play some form of Xbox/play station or Nintendo games. Does playing these games show a lack of maturity....I think not. I think what is immature is to try make an attachment between playing these games, the age of the op and coming up with 5. The op is an adult just like the rest of us on this site and should be treated accordingly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *cott katieCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury Shropshire |
I think most of us reading this would agree some people have misunderstood the original thread x
If your not willing to meet young swingers say so on your profile, same with meeting older swingers x
I hope you guys get to meet some sexy understanding swingers x enjoy the site, have fun and stay safe guys xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" If their minimum is set to 30 then I will keep on scrolling but again if its set to where we fall within range then its not my fault if their not interested. They need to fix that so it doesnt happen.
I disagree, sorry!
My age range is set as 18 to 99. I won't HAVE SEX with an 18 year old or a 99 year old, but this site is about more than just sex. I will happily chat with anyone of any age.
I'm not going to filter out youngsters or people who are older than me, because it's likely they're gonna say things that I find interesting and informative. Likewise, I ain't gonna filter out women or couples (who I won't have sex with) and that's because I think they are valuable human beings who likely have something interesting to say."
Think some valid points are being made. Personally I've got my preference set as age range I'd sleep with. But ill chat to any age/gender/sexuality maybe could change preferences so this is reflected |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If their minimum is set to 30 then I will keep on scrolling but again if its set to where we fall within range then its not my fault if their not interested. They need to fix that so it doesnt happen."
No. It's not your fault if they're not interested - nor is it theirs!! It's called choice!! As I said before - you won't be to everybody's taste and that is beyond your control.
I'm confused as to what needs fixing? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Take you, the guy, first. You're 21. Now, are you 21 going on 35..?, or are you 21 going on 15..? and (as Forumites will know..) as I have said before... are you going to turn up paying more attention to your Nintendo DS or the couple you are meeting..??? And before you protest - it HAS happened!
I'm really aghast at some of the comments from adults in this thread. I know lots of 40 yr old men who regularly play some form of Xbox/play station or Nintendo games. Does playing these games show a lack of maturity....I think not. I think what is immature is to try make an attachment between playing these games, the age of the op and coming up with 5. The op is an adult just like the rest of us on this site and should be treated accordingly. "
A phrase containing the words 'point','missed' and 'totally' (but not necessarily in that order..) comes to mind.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Take you, the guy, first. You're 21. Now, are you 21 going on 35..?, or are you 21 going on 15..? and (as Forumites will know..) as I have said before... are you going to turn up paying more attention to your Nintendo DS or the couple you are meeting..??? And before you protest - it HAS happened!
I'm really aghast at some of the comments from adults in this thread. I know lots of 40 yr old men who regularly play some form of Xbox/play station or Nintendo games. Does playing these games show a lack of maturity....I think not. I think what is immature is to try make an attachment between playing these games, the age of the op and coming up with 5. The op is an adult just like the rest of us on this site and should be treated accordingly.
A phrase containing the words 'point','missed' and 'totally' (but not necessarily in that order..) comes to mind.... "
Your point was not missed at all actually I full understood your point and respect it, however it was made (imho) in a condescending way.
I would doubt you would use the same 'point' regarding the fantastic and brave soldiers (some as young as 18) being sent abroad. 'Sorry guys you can't be trusted in war as you might start playing your Nintendo at an inappropriate time'.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago
Rockford |
"
Point taken. But the people our age (and local too!) arent serious it seems. I send them messages, they read them but they dont reply...really?
Have you considered one important point? They may just not be attracted to you and therefore not interested in meeting/replying?
You've used the word 'maturity' in this thread - but with all due respect - and this is in no way related to your age - maturity is not a word I'd associate with much of what I have read on this thread!!"
This ..... OP I feel for you because you have a few life lessons to learn yet. I'm not being condescending. Just relax and keep reading forums and learning. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
so the age thing aside, because you can't do anything about other people's preferences as much as you might like to... you really need to edit your profile.
Where's the paragraphs? people are Moore likely to read it then. and you list your interests inn the text, when you don't need to because they're listed in your interests. And tell people something about you not about your sex life.
Maybe that'll help. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Take you, the guy, first. You're 21. Now, are you 21 going on 35..?, or are you 21 going on 15..? and (as Forumites will know..) as I have said before... are you going to turn up paying more attention to your Nintendo DS or the couple you are meeting..??? And before you protest - it HAS happened!
I'm really aghast at some of the comments from adults in this thread. I know lots of 40 yr old men who regularly play some form of Xbox/play station or Nintendo games. Does playing these games show a lack of maturity....I think not. I think what is immature is to try make an attachment between playing these games, the age of the op and coming up with 5. The op is an adult just like the rest of us on this site and should be treated accordingly.
A phrase containing the words 'point','missed' and 'totally' (but not necessarily in that order..) comes to mind....
Your point was not missed at all actually I full understood your point and respect it, however it was made (imho) in a condescending way.
I would doubt you would use the same 'point' regarding the fantastic and brave soldiers (some as young as 18) being sent abroad. 'Sorry guys you can't be trusted in war as you might start playing your Nintendo at an inappropriate time'. "
It wasn't condescending - it was illustrating a point. And it is far from an unreasonable question for anyone to have in their minds about someone who is very much at the lower end of the age range of Swingers. And what, exactly, do you think a combination of Army recruitment and training is deigned to do? It is to give those who can handle the demands of the battlefield at such a young age all the skills they need to survive and, hopefully, return unscathed. BUT... it's also there to out those who are not sufficiently mature to handle being in battle - and many don't make it through that process. In Swinging, there is no 'selection process' or formal, in-depth training (would be interesting if there was...) to make anyone aware of the reality of what they are going into like there is in the military.
Again, it was to get the point over. No more than that.
ted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Were young, we've never really had an issue we search for younger swingers or people who are interested in the younger ones, if we succeed happy days let's all get naked! If we don't we move on untill we do find someone that makes it happy days! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Take you, the guy, first. You're 21. Now, are you 21 going on 35..?, or are you 21 going on 15..? and (as Forumites will know..) as I have said before... are you going to turn up paying more attention to your Nintendo DS or the couple you are meeting..??? And before you protest - it HAS happened!
I'm really aghast at some of the comments from adults in this thread. I know lots of 40 yr old men who regularly play some form of Xbox/play station or Nintendo games. Does playing these games show a lack of maturity....I think not. I think what is immature is to try make an attachment between playing these games, the age of the op and coming up with 5. The op is an adult just like the rest of us on this site and should be treated accordingly.
A phrase containing the words 'point','missed' and 'totally' (but not necessarily in that order..) comes to mind....
Your point was not missed at all actually I full understood your point and respect it, however it was made (imho) in a condescending way.
I would doubt you would use the same 'point' regarding the fantastic and brave soldiers (some as young as 18) being sent abroad. 'Sorry guys you can't be trusted in war as you might start playing your Nintendo at an inappropriate time'.
It wasn't condescending - it was illustrating a point. And it is far from an unreasonable question for anyone to have in their minds about someone who is very much at the lower end of the age range of Swingers. ."
People really ask the question in their minds when meeting a younger swinger " I wonder if they will play on their playstation instead of playing"?
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People really ask the question in their minds when meeting a younger swinger "I wonder if they will play on their playstation instead of playing"?
"
No. The question is 'how emotionally mature is this person?'. Doing that from a profile can be difficult - in person at a club it is far easier, but the OP cannot go to a club yet due to the age of his partner and what appears to be a different minimum age in the U.S., hence they are having problems getting meets.
Okay my Nintendo reference may have been inappropriate or even condescending. If it was, then it was. I do not play, and have never played, the 'you're younger than our kids' card when it comes to deciding whether to meet anyone, but I DO always ask myself the 'emotional maturity' question. To me it has always been one of the key questions anyone has to ask themselves before venturing into the Swinging world. And that goes for anyone at any age - but more so for those at the lower end of the range as not all people mature as fast as others. Having said that, I have come across 40 and 50 year-olds who will NEVER be mature enough to do this, so it doesn't just apply to people in the OP's age bracket.
ted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Were young, we've never really had an issue we search for younger swingers or people who are interested in the younger ones, if we succeed happy days let's all get naked! If we don't we move on untill we do find someone that makes it happy days!"
An excellent attitude to have |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
After reading a lot of comments on here I have come to the conclusion that my girlfriend and I are fortunate to have gotten into swinging at such a young age. That means, perhaps, as we get older in the next couple of years we can have more experiences than others who have otherwise gotten in at an older age. I appreciate all of you who have commented even though I dont agree with everybody but I do agree with the fact that nothing can be done about peoples choices and the same with our choices. I guess we'll just wait and see what the future holds. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
