FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Too hardcore?
Too hardcore?
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So, we get a nice message from a couple we like the look of, and begin chatting back and fore.
We swap general chat, and seem to be getting on great, and the chat moves to our swinging history and our availability, etc.
Then they obviously go back to check our profile in some detail, especially the verifications, as the next message is along the lines of "Wow, you guys are professionals!", and I get the feeling that this has scared them off a little.
So, (and I can't believe I'm doing this!) can you guys take a look at our profile, and be honest, does our profile seem a bit too hardcore, have we wandered into the realms of being seen as "hardened" swingers, which some may find a little daunting? Should we maybe hide a few verifications?  |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
profile seems like any other profile I see really (no offence) .. They may have been put off by the number of your veris, but the content of them isnt anything off putting.
What they probably didnt realise is that you meet at parties/groups so receive a lot of verifications as a result, althought it doesnt necessarily mean youve shagged them all they may be a little immature to the party scene.
Doesnt seem hardcore to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've been on the site for 4 years.. what do they expect? One meet a year? 
Perhaps they are newbies and a little daunted. Personally I would never change my profile to suit others needs.
I am what I am.. take it or leave it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is one of the longer lists of veri's I've seen... Not sure if that's a good or bad thing to be honest. You're being upfront about things, shouldn't they have read your first? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile looks good to me,
could it be that there new to the scene or a little inexperienced in the swinging scene and maybe a little bit daunting to meet a couple that's being doing it for years and are experienced whereas there not? They may feel that they could be out their depth so to speak. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, we get a nice message from a couple we like the look of, and begin chatting back and fore.
We swap general chat, and seem to be getting on great, and the chat moves to our swinging history and our availability, etc.
Then they obviously go back to check our profile in some detail, especially the verifications, as the next message is along the lines of "Wow, you guys are professionals!", and I get the feeling that
this has scared them off a little.
So, (and I can't believe I'm doing this!) can you guys take a look at our profile, and be honest, does our profile seem a bit too hardcore, have we wandered into the realms of being seen as "hardened" swingers, which some may find a little
daunting? Should we maybe hide a few verifications? "
it didnt put us off mart.lol.i don't think your hardcore .i think your both sweet people .poppyxx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only thing.. and I mean the 'only' thing... on your veris is that you have a few multiples from one or two couples you've met. It's purely my thing, but that's something I'm not overly keen on, so I would remove the older ones that are multiples so only the most recent from someone is/are visible. But, as I said, it's my preference.
As for their reference to you being 'professionals'.... WTF is that about? Have they got an inferiority complex or something? Your veris clearly show that you've been meeting for a few years, what were they expecting? A monk and a nun???
Brings us back to the whole flippin veri debate which is driving me nuts at the moment. It's far too open to subjectivity and few people seem to be applying objectivity to reading them. Still say it was better on a site where there was no veri system - you never got all this crap about it from people!
ted. |
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By *9MarkMan
over a year ago
North Cheam |
The big question is! Is how many verifications Does one really need? In my opinion I think one or two It's only to confirm your a genuine couple, man or woman You don't really need to be getting verified on every fuck you have do you!? That's not aimed anyone is just a question.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see the need to display the info.. Its obvious you aren't newbies... And you don't need to justify yourselves.
But I also wonder how you find time/energy for each other.... |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"I don't see the need to display the info.. Its obvious you aren't newbies... And you don't need to justify yourselves.
But I also wonder how you find time/energy for each other...."
maybe they eat superfoods |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well...as a couple newish to the scene (who's only ever swung twice before)....yeah all those verifications are a little intimidating.
Not because of the number but as relative newbies we'd feel like we where gonna be terrible compared to more experienced swingers. Wouldn't stop us wanting to meet someone with all those verification's though!
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
"So, we get a nice message from a couple we like the look of, and begin chatting back and fore.
We swap general chat, and seem to be getting on great, and the chat moves to our swinging history and our availability, etc.
Then they obviously go back to check our profile in some detail, especially the verifications, as the next message is along the lines of "Wow, you guys are professionals!", and I get the feeling that this has scared them off a little.
So, (and I can't believe I'm doing this!) can you guys take a look at our profile, and be honest, does our profile seem a bit too hardcore, have we wandered into the realms of being seen as "hardened" swingers, which some may find a little daunting? Should we maybe hide a few verifications? "
We always thought the Welsh are a randy lot lol!
It don't seem to be affecting your meets guys so don't worry about it as your profile looks fine to us. |
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"It is one of the longer lists of veri's I've seen... Not sure if that's a good or bad thing to be honest. You're being upfront about things, shouldn't they have read your first?"
Really?
Lol, I think you need to look around a bit more, theres quite a few with loads more!  |
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"So, we get a nice message from a couple we like the look of, and begin chatting back and fore.
We swap general chat, and seem to be getting on great, and the chat moves to our swinging history and our availability, etc.
Then they obviously go back to check our profile in some detail, especially the verifications, as the next message is along the lines of "Wow, you guys are professionals!", and I get the feeling that
this has scared them off a little.
So, (and I can't believe I'm doing this!) can you guys take a look at our profile, and be honest, does our profile seem a bit too hardcore, have we wandered into the realms of being seen as "hardened" swingers, which some may find a little
daunting? Should we maybe hide a few verifications? it didnt put us off mart.lol.i don't think your hardcore .i think your both sweet people .poppyxx "
Thanks Poppy, we luvs ya too!
Thing is, when people meet meet us, they soon find we are just your average, everyday shagaholics lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, we get a nice message from a couple we like the look of, and begin chatting back and fore.
We swap general chat, and seem to be getting on great, and the chat moves to our swinging history and our availability, etc.
Then they obviously go back to check our profile in some detail, especially the verifications, as the next message is along the lines of "Wow, you
guys are professionals!", and I get the feeling that
this has scared them off a little.
So, (and I can't believe I'm doing this!) can you guys take a look at our profile, and be honest, does our profile seem a bit too hardcore, have we wandered into the realms of being seen as
"hardened" swingers, which some may find a little
daunting? Should we maybe hide a few verifications? it didnt put us off mart.lol.i don't think your hardcore .i think your both sweet people .poppyxx
Thanks Poppy, we luvs ya too!
Thing is, when people meet meet us, they soon find we are just your average, everyday shagaholics lol! "
but very loveable ones yummy.with lots of energy .poppyxx |
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"The only thing.. and I mean the 'only' thing... on your veris is that you have a few multiples from one or two couples you've met. It's purely my thing, but that's something I'm not overly keen on, so I would remove the older ones that are multiples so only the most recent from someone is/are visible. But, as I said, it's my preference."
See, I kinda like having multiple verifs, shows a bit of continuity, but I take your point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is one of the longer lists of veri's I've seen... Not sure if that's a good or bad thing to be honest. You're being upfront about things, shouldn't they have read your first?
Really?
Lol, I think you need to look around a bit more, theres quite a few with loads more! "
like us .we get people telling us all the time we got too many veries.i like them .i aiming for two hundred and then i might retire !lol.pmsl .poppy retire i don't think i can ! Poppyxx |
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"I don't see the need to display the info.. Its obvious you aren't newbies... And you don't need to justify yourselves.
But I also wonder how you find time/energy for each other...."
I guess you could think that we spend lots of time getting jiggy with others looking at our verifs, but actually we tend to do it in bursts, with loads of time in-between for some "us" time lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't see what the problem is.....
Yes there are plenty of verifications....but you have been to clubs and parties and these will attract verifications that someone has met you but not necessarily played with you.
Bear in mind that's 4 years worth of verifications aswell so its nothing excessive!!
Wouldn't put us off in the slightest
K&A xx |
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Ok, well, as I hoped, the general consensus seems to be that we should leave it, and that given the length of time we have been swinging the number of verifs isnt excessive, so thanks to everyone who replied here and via PM. |
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"All i can say is Lucky You for getting so many meets, all we seem to attract are nutters and time wasters lol....."
We go to loads of socials, we have made loads of friends.
From there we get party invites, and we go clubbing too, so I guess over the years we have honed our "dickhead" filter pmsl!
From our list, we have only actually played with half those that had verified us, but also there are quite a few that have left that we had verifs from.
Socials are definitely the way to go, we book a hotel, and make a night of it, followed by a day out the next day.
Great way to make friends, catch up on the gossip..... and yes, maybe have some fun lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to get lots of newbie couples contacting me and my profile is just as busy lol... I do get mostly people talking to me about club stuff though.
Just carry on and don't worry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, we get a nice message from a couple we like the look of, and begin chatting back and fore.
We swap general chat, and seem to be getting on great, and the chat moves to our swinging history and our availability, etc.
Then they obviously go back to check our profile in some detail, especially the verifications, as the next message is along the lines of "Wow, you guys are professionals!", and I get the feeling that this has scared them off a little.
So, (and I can't believe I'm doing this!) can you guys take a look at our profile, and be honest, does our profile seem a bit too hardcore, have we wandered into the realms of being seen as "hardened" swingers, which some may find a little daunting? Should we maybe hide a few verifications? "
The way I see it is...
If you are honest on your profile it allows others to judge for themselves if they want to meet you, if you HIDE info, then you're preventing them from doing that, you would be actively trying to steer their judgment in your own favour, If you hide one thing, I would assume there's more and would avoid, don't change a thing on your profile if it serves YOUR purpose! |
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I would rather see your profile the way it is, at least by all the veris you are real lol. But we have been around this scene for alot of years
can see how it could/would put a newbe off as they are nervous, us personally would rather meet seasoned swingers than newbies as you know what you are getting |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
Some reckon we are hardcore swingers but in reality we are here to swing, do we quiten our profile for the meek and mild and remove Verdi's...no chance we are here to have fun lol!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The big question is! Is how many verifications Does one really need? In my opinion I think one or two It's only to confirm your a genuine couple, man or woman You don't really need to be getting verified on every fuck you have do you!? That's not aimed anyone is just a question. "
I would whole heartedly agree with this. Surely verifications are to prove you are genuine and do meet. Rather than an erotic tale of how it's the best bj you've ever had and how she looks like Britain's Next Top model. Verifications should be taken with a massive pinch of salt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with all the points made above.
This is more a question towards how others define 'hardcore'
The way that others choose to use/decipher the verification function complicates matters further. You can be seen by others as 'hardcore' by one graphically writen summery.
Lets be honest, when you allow others the ability to express themselves, they will.
According to the verification function all fofos are so tight that people can deseed grapes with them and all cocks are huge and/or at the very least, hard all night. I have yet to see a negative verification but understand the reasons why.
For others tinkering with what you display will be seen as hedging your bets in your favour, or for others, a less than favorable, reason. Others will not give it a second thought.
The more experienced people will, as others have commented, take the verifications with a pinch of salt.
I do wonder who is more likely to see others as hardcore, males, couples or females ? personally I would discount the males as many can't afford too lol
Maybe people would be happier with a maximum amount displayed at anyone time, this would be automatically adjusted ?
A roll on roll off system (by most recent order) this may save having to answer any questions about meets.
It has its drawbacks, as all things do, but would make things level without you being seen as hardcore/manipulating things.
Probably not, as I can think of reasons why people would disapprove.
Ignore me as I have a toothache and wish I hadn't posted this, but, I've taken the time to write it so I'm bloody posting it lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You cant win, if you have no veris or pics you have no chance but if you have been swinging for a while and have experience it can back fire. I was recently chatting with a lovely couple and they said I was too 'professional' and then blocked me, I couldnt believe it and felt quite hurt that i came across that way to them, so you have no experience and you have no chance and now if you have experience your running into probs. Wtf? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some reckon we are hardcore swingers but in reality we are here to swing, do we quiten our profile for the meek and mild and remove Verdi's...no chance we are here to have fun lol!
"
People are too quick to judge. This is a swinging site not a pure as the driven snow site |
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