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Advice required.
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Hey everyone 
I've been on here 1-2 months, had plenty of interest.
My main problem is, I feel I'm too picky. Or is that just silly of me and if I don't think a guy is attractive there's no point in meeting up?
Wasn't entirely sure how to word this post  |
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"Hey everyone
I've been on here 1-2 months, had plenty of interest.
My main problem is, I feel I'm too picky. Or is that just silly of me and if I don't think a guy is attractive there's no point in meeting up?
Wasn't entirely sure how to word this post "
Not at all. I won't meet anyone I don't find attractive etc. what's the point in that? I'm not desperate so I'm prepared to be selective x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not entirely sure what advice you're after? You've had 2 meets within 6 weeks of joining so there are obviously some guys that are meeting your standards! If you feel there aren't enough guys messaging you though that appeal then maybe seek them out instead?
I won't meet anyone that I don't find attractive...I don't see it as being picky, but it'd be pointless meeting someone who couldn't get me turned on as it wouldn't be fun for either of us |
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By *avindaWoman
over a year ago
North Wales |
"Hey everyone
I've been on here 1-2 months, had plenty of interest.
My main problem is, I feel I'm too picky. Or is that just silly of me and if I don't think a guy is attractive there's no point in meeting up?
Wasn't entirely sure how to word this post
Not at all. I won't meet anyone I don't find attractive etc. what's the point in that? I'm not desperate so I'm prepared to be selective x "
Totally agree with the above comments. Exactly how l feel,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had 4 meets so far. Men just seem to expect sex because I'm on here."
Do you set the ground rules before a meet, I tend to meet socially on a 1st meet and if someone doesn't accept that, then I don't meet them. Yes it's a swinging site but you still have the right to meet someone socially before agreeing to anything else & to be treated with a little respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I meant, men just seem to expect sex right away "come to my hotel room" type thing. And don't want a social meet first..."
.. then, with respect, you need to make that a little clearer in your profile....
ted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You seriously have not found a single attractive guy in 2 months ???  "
two months is a long time, thing is you meet a bloke you find attractive but the sex isnt always any better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I meant, men just seem to expect sex right away "come to my hotel room" type thing. And don't want a social meet first...
.. then, with respect, you need to make that a little clearer in your profile....
ted."
and possible get rid of the 'give me a go'comment too but that's just my opinion! Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You seriously have not found a single attractive guy in 2 months ???
two months is a long time, thing is you meet a bloke you find attractive but the sex isn't always any better."
Being quite 'long in the tooth' when it comes to this strange little world we all inhabit here... and in other places lol! ... I learned a long time ago that swinging is about a sexual connection - not an attraction. Finding someone 'attractive' (apart from being in the eye of the beholder...) is what you do in Vanilla clubs, pubs or anywhere else you go to meet new friends, acquaintances and so on.
The people you meet through a site like this, or at swingers clubs/venues, with whom you 'click' sexually are very often NOT those you would find attractive in any other situation. I have played with women and couples countless times at parties and clubs who press every conceivable sexual button, and yet I do not find them 'attractive'. On the other hand, I have met, been out with, and taken to bed plenty of gorr-juss looking women, only to have my dreams and fantasies dashed... as they turned out to be crap in the Jiggy Dept!!!!!!!
Little saying worth remembering.... All that glisters is not gold..... and being 'picky' is fine... so long as you're being picky about the right things...
ted. |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
Dear OP - there are two ways of looking at this:
1) Do you think by picky you mean looking for "the one"? If so, that may work for vanilla relationship building (match.com style) but this is swinging - the whole idea is explore everything BUT monogamy.
2) On the other hand, if by picky you mean looking for people you're attracted to and connect with, not just anything with apulse just cause he/she/they sent you an email.. in which case that is completely your entitlement.
I've seen women who will not meet anyone unless there's a chance of a "proper relationship" building out of it (run for the hills boys!) - hopefully that's not what you mean.
But if all you keep getting are "Me Tarzan, you Jane, come fuck now" emails,.. then you'd do well to avoid those and wait for better and more fun offers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me too, but recently had sex with a guy I really wasnt bothered about, too short for me too, and wham, the best ever!!!
Just goes to show, its not about looks, totally knocked me for 6 x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me too, but recently had sex with a guy I really wasnt bothered about, too short for me too, and wham, the best ever!!!
Just goes to show, its not about looks, totally knocked me for 6 x"
There ya go - like I was saying. Not that I am short though...! Lol!
ted. |
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Yes, I just wanted assurance I wasn't being silly by turning down the "I man, you woman, we fuck now" type guys.
I give a lot of guys a shot, but only if we get along well over message.
I think I'll become less hesitant as I meet more people. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Hey everyone
I've been on here 1-2 months, had plenty of interest.
My main problem is, I feel I'm too picky. Or is that just silly of me and if I don't think a guy is attractive there's no point in meeting up?
Wasn't entirely sure how to word this post "
Depends what you want and are looking for. Just indulge your fantasies. Older, younger, body builder, same sex, bald, overly made up, rough looking... There's all types but you have to first know what you want satisfying.
I wouldn't wait too long as good meets will pass you by and you may never dip your toe, or just dip you toe with someone that doesn't do it for you.
Its good, all good!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey everyone
I've been on here 1-2 months, had plenty of interest.
My main problem is, I feel I'm too picky. Or is that just silly of me and if I don't think a guy is attractive there's no point in meeting up?
Wasn't entirely sure how to word this post
Not at all. I won't meet anyone I don't find attractive etc. what's the point in that? I'm not desperate so I'm prepared to be selective x
Totally agree with the above comments. Exactly how l feel, "
And me.. your not alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice is to tidy up your bedroom. It passes the time until you find a fanciable bloke."
Glad i wasnt the only one thinking that lol....sorry but was funny and true  |
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In theory it should be very easy for a single woman on here to be 'selective' due to the ratio of women to guys. Saying men expect sex on here is somewhat harsh though since it is a sex based site after all. One other poster alluded to it in a good reply - this is not match dot com after all.
The thread, and to a degree the site, is an interesting reflection on how Mother Nature has made us.
Even on a site where supposedly simple no strings sex is the aim ,women are still typically far more selective than men and this is evident in the OP's post and the 'supportive' comments from other women.
Biologically speaking women have a far bigger investment in a sex act because they carry the child. Therefore, they must always be selective for the parental genes to have the best chance of survival and be a good match in the first place. Men, however, just need to get their genes out there and in as many place as possible.
Although there will always be individual exceptions this is why there are far more men on here than women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey everyone
I've been on here 1-2 months, had plenty of interest.
My main problem is, I feel I'm too picky. Or is that just silly of me and if I don't think a guy is attractive there's no point in meeting up?
Wasn't entirely sure how to word this post
Not at all. I won't meet anyone I don't find attractive etc. what's the point in
that? I'm not desperate so I'm prepared
to be selective x "
Me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey everyone
I've been on here 1-2 months, had plenty of interest.
My main problem is, I feel I'm too picky. Or is that just silly of me and if I don't think a guy is attractive there's no point in meeting up?
Wasn't entirely sure how to word this post "
Your right to be picky. Your here for your own pleasure..not here to meet anyone and everyone.
Meet those that tickle your fancy. I can say all this, because im picky too lol I want gorgeous eyes, a lovely smile...and a very naughty dirty mind lol
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There has to be an attraction but remember the guys you choose may be picky ad well and you may not be whet thay are looking for.
We started by setting sites too high then decided to at least chat to those that wr werent immediately attracted too and met some nice guys. It doesnt have to be all about looks.
And before people criticise weve had alot more meets than our veries show we choose to show 2 to give people an idea of what we are like to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey everyone
I've been on here 1-2 months, had plenty of interest.
My main problem is, I feel I'm too picky. Or is that just silly of me and if I don't think a guy is attractive there's no point in meeting up?
Wasn't entirely sure how to word this post "
Im picky. I have made a couple of bad decisions previously so yes keep being picky. |
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I was always told never to judge a book by its cover!
I have dated several ladies who could be described as "conventionally unattractive" but were wonderful, warm, lovely people. ( and great fun in bed, too! )
Everybody needs some love, and it is surely very shallow of you or anybody else to judge others purely on looks alone?
Anyway, we are mostly on here for fun and friendship, and for sexy times, not to enter a beauty contest.
So get over yourself, stop being a spoilt brat, and consider the 95% of people on here who don't quite come up to your "perfect standards", and then maybe you will start having some REAL fun!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey everyone
I've been on here 1-2 months, had plenty of interest.
My main problem is, I feel I'm too picky. Or is that just silly of me and if I don't think a guy is attractive there's no point in meeting up?
Wasn't entirely sure how to word this post "
...Nothing wrong with being picky...you have to be on here   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...it is surely very shallow of you or anybody else to judge others purely on looks alone?
Anyway, we are mostly on here for fun and friendship, and for sexy times, not to enter a beauty contest.
So get over yourself, stop being a spoilt brat, and consider the 95% of people on here who don't quite come up to your "perfect standards", and then maybe you will start having some REAL fun! "
A bit harsh, Gentleman Jack!
The OP said she doesn't want to meet men unless she finds them "attractive" - she didn't say she chooses them just on their looks.
"Attractive" is a combination of factors, including some which can be apparent from profiles and mails received - e.g. a sense of humour and intelligence.
OP you're right to be 'picky' - what's the point in meeting someone, if you know he's not gonna get your knickers wet! And those who think they're getting guaranteed sex, just because you're on a swingers site? Ignore them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The number of blocks i got because i said 'no i wont meet straight away..i dont even know you'..and the strop they go into before the abuse hahaha.
They think they're the best thing since sliced bread lol whats wrong with a social first?
..you choose who you meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You seriously have not found a single attractive guy in 2 months ???
two months is a long time, thing is you meet a bloke you find attractive but the sex isn't always any better.
Being quite 'long in the tooth' when it comes to this strange little world we all inhabit here... and in other places lol! ... I learned a long time ago that swinging is about a sexual connection - not an attraction. Finding someone 'attractive' (apart from being in the eye of the beholder...) is what you do in Vanilla clubs, pubs or anywhere else you go to meet new friends, acquaintances and so on.
The people you meet through a site like this, or at swingers clubs/venues, with whom you 'click' sexually are very often NOT those you would find attractive in any other situation. I have played with women and couples countless times at parties and clubs who press every conceivable sexual button, and yet I do not find them 'attractive'. On the other hand, I have met, been out with, and taken to bed plenty of gorr-juss looking women, only to have my dreams and fantasies dashed... as they turned out to be crap in the Jiggy Dept!!!!!!!
Little saying worth remembering.... All that glisters is not gold..... and being 'picky' is fine... so long as you're being picky about the right things...
ted."
 Well said |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"The number of blocks i got because i said 'no i wont meet straight away..i dont even know you'..and the strop they go into before the abuse hahaha.
They think they're the best thing since sliced bread lol whats wrong with a social first?
..you choose who you meet."
I'm with you on that one - countless couples (and the odd single female) over the years that have "sent a friend invite" but not communicated what they wanted, yet when I didn't accept they threw their toys out the pram and hurled abuse.
Personally, I think they are as bad as the very same "I've paid my money, I deserve sex" single guys they hate. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I was always told never to judge a book by its cover!
I have dated several ladies who could be described as "conventionally unattractive" but were wonderful, warm, lovely people. ( and great fun in bed, too! )
Everybody needs some love, and it is surely very shallow of you or anybody else to judge others purely on looks alone?
Anyway, we are mostly on here for fun and friendship, and for sexy times, not to enter a beauty contest.
So get over yourself, stop being a spoilt brat, and consider the 95% of people on here who don't quite come up to your "perfect standards", and then maybe you will start having some REAL fun! "
I am not ashamed to say I must be shallow then.
Yes we are here for fun but I am not about to get naked with someone I don't find sexually attractive. Whether they need some love or not!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was always told never to judge a book by its cover!
I have dated several ladies who could be described as "conventionally unattractive" but were wonderful, warm, lovely people. ( and great fun in bed, too! )
Everybody needs some love, and it is surely very shallow of you or anybody else to judge others purely on looks alone?
Anyway, we are mostly on here for fun and friendship, and for sexy times, not to enter a beauty contest.
So get over yourself, stop being a spoilt brat, and consider the 95% of people on here who don't quite come up to your "perfect standards", and then maybe you will start having some REAL fun! "
Dating is totally different to meeting for casual sex...you can develop an attraction over time when dating, but with swinging there isn't a courtship as such so the attraction needs to be more instantaneous. I need attraction to get wet...what's the point in meeting someone for sex I don't find attractive and to be unable to play because I'm just not feeling it (or for a guy to meet someone who can't get him hard)...or should I just grin and bear it despite the fact I'm not enjoying myself at all?
You state you're here for fun and friendship...it's impossible to be friends with everyone, just as it's impossible to want to shag everyone that sends a message asking for a shag!
As for the spoilt brat comment...think a mirror may be required!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was always told never to judge a book by its cover!
I have dated several ladies who could be described as "conventionally unattractive" but were wonderful, warm, lovely people. ( and great fun in bed, too! )
Everybody needs some love, and it is surely very shallow of you or anybody else to judge others purely on looks alone?
Anyway, we are mostly on here for fun and friendship, and for sexy times, not to enter a beauty contest.
So get over yourself, stop being a spoilt brat, and consider the 95% of people on here who don't quite come up to your "perfect standards", and then maybe you will start having some REAL fun!
Dating is totally different to meeting for casual sex...you can develop an attraction over time when dating, but with swinging there isn't a courtship as such so the attraction needs to be more instantaneous. I need attraction to get wet...what's the point in meeting someone for sex I don't find attractive and to be unable to play because I'm just not feeling it (or for a guy to meet someone who can't get him hard)...or should I just grin and bear it despite the fact I'm not enjoying myself at all?
You state you're here for fun and friendship...it's impossible to be friends with everyone, just as it's impossible to want to shag everyone that sends a message asking for a shag!
As for the spoilt brat comment...think a mirror may be required! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was always told never to judge a book by its cover!
I have dated several ladies who could be described as "conventionally unattractive" but were wonderful, warm, lovely people. ( and great fun in bed, too! )
Everybody needs some love, and it is surely very shallow of you or anybody else to judge others purely on looks alone?
Anyway, we are mostly on here for fun and friendship, and for sexy times, not to enter a beauty contest.
So get over yourself, stop being a spoilt brat, and consider the 95% of people on here who don't quite come up to your "perfect standards", and then maybe you will start having some REAL fun!
Dating is totally different to meeting for casual sex...you can develop an attraction over time when dating, but with swinging there isn't a courtship as such so the attraction needs to be more instantaneous. I need attraction to get wet...what's the point in meeting someone for sex I don't find attractive and to be unable to play because I'm just not feeling it (or for a guy to meet someone who can't get him hard)...or should I just grin and bear it despite the fact I'm not enjoying myself at all?
You state you're here for fun and friendship...it's impossible to be friends with everyone, just as it's impossible to want to shag everyone that sends a message asking for a shag!
As for the spoilt brat comment...think a mirror may be required! "
Well said!!!
Couldn't agree more, I wouldn't meet anyone if there wasn't an attraction, and wouldn't want anyone to meet me either if they weren't attracted to me. Don't see the point whatsoever. Obviously we can't all be attracted to each other, everyone has preferences, or so I thought haha, but the 'any holes a goal' mentality exists so it seems, no matter how it's explained or glossed over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was always told never to judge a book by its cover!
I have dated several ladies who could be described as "conventionally unattractive" but were wonderful, warm, lovely people. ( and great fun in bed, too! )
Everybody needs some love, and it is surely very shallow of you or anybody else to judge others purely on looks alone?
Anyway, we are mostly on here for fun and friendship, and for sexy times, not to enter a beauty contest.
So get over yourself, stop being a spoilt brat, and consider the 95% of people on here who don't quite come up to your "perfect standards", and then maybe you will start having some REAL fun! "
You're a one aren't you?!
Are you trying to say she's a spoilt brat for not fucking anyone that mails? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Each to there own ! Its not a dating site but I look fit attraction on all levels , looks ... ( what I find attractive might not b for the next person) good conversation , decent body ( I'm no super model !) but I friendly ans sexy personality ! .... I'm not looking for notches on bed posts , so I'm a bit picky .... But I'm not desparate ..... So I must b a spoilt brat .... And so b it ! Good job were not all alike !!!! |
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