FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Friend with benefits wants more - what to do
Friend with benefits wants more - what to do
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi, hope you wise people of the forum can help with my dilema. I have a friend with benefits who is dropping big hints that she wants a relationship. I made it very clear from the start what the situation would be. I enjoy the sex with her, but i am not looking for a relationship and I know it sounds bad, she is not someone i would want a relationship with (not that she is a bad person or anything, but just not for me). I am thinking of ending it before i hurt her feelings. Any advice or anyone gone through something similar, would be greatly received. Many thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be really honest and stop shagging her lol women are delicate and she will blame herself no doubt
In our experience unless you are both swingers with experience u can't have friends with benefits without someone's feelings getting hurt
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be really honest and stop shagging her lol women are delicate and she will blame herself no doubt
In our experience unless you are both swingers with experience u can't have friends with benefits without someone's feelings getting hurt
Good luck "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you have already answered your own question. If you don't want to be with her long term, don't be cruel and waste her time by letting her think you do. "
+1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm quite sad for her really. I appreciate that you don't want to have a relationship at the moment, but how can you have regular sex with someone who would be 'not for you' in terms of a relationship?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi, hope you wise people of the forum can help with my dilema. I have a friend with benefits who is dropping big hints that she wants a relationship. I made it very clear from the start what the situation would be. I enjoy the sex with her, but i am not looking for a relationship and I know it sounds bad, she is not someone i would want a relationship with (not that she is a bad person or anything, but just not for me). I am thinking of ending it before i hurt her feelings. Any advice or anyone gone through something similar, would be greatly received. Many thanks "
As the scope of your situation was agreed mutually as "no strings attached sex", I'd suggest that you tell the lady that, for you, it is still the same. And that you are not interested in anything different. If she does want something different now, then you mutually agree not to meet again. Good luck |
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"I'm quite sad for her really. I appreciate that you don't want to have a relationship at the moment, but how can you have regular sex with someone who would be 'not for you' in terms of a relationship?
"
Nature of the beast some women tend to overlook as they too just want a shag.
You only need to read the forums to see what some men think but they still get meets. It took someone telling me he didn't meet people of here in his house for me to change my selection criteria.
If I'm not good enough to be seen going into your house you're not good enough to come into mine! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm quite sad for her really. I appreciate that you don't want to have a relationship at the moment, but how can you have regular sex with someone who would be 'not for you' in terms of a relationship?
"
It is sad and i dont feel great about it, but i did'nt want to hurt her feelings. But having sex with her and her still having the idea there could be more with me, is'nt right.
In terms of a relationship, there are lots of other things other than sex and attraction such as a persons aims in life, values, interests, personality etc. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes end it now before you get yourself into an even bigger hole
Thanks for your posts, i have ended it today.
How did it go? "
As well as can be expected. it was'nt a happy situation, but it is right in the long run. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes end it now before you get yourself into an even bigger hole
Thanks for your posts, i have ended it today.
How did it go?
As well as can be expected. it was'nt a happy situation, but it is right in the long run. "
Good luck ! All will be well soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be honest and end it, soon.
Disagree: end it now!
Sadly, if she's dropping hints and he continues to fuck her he's sending mixed messages. "
Don't try reading between the lines, I wasn't suggesting he carries on as they are for a while.
Suggesting he end it and soon, soon as he can, soon as he has the words. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Hi, hope you wise people of the forum can help with my dilema. I have a friend with benefits who is dropping big hints that she wants a relationship. I made it very clear from the start what the situation would be. I enjoy the sex with her, but i am not looking for a relationship and I know it sounds bad, she is not someone i would want a relationship with (not that she is a bad person or anything, but just not for me). I am thinking of ending it before i hurt her feelings. Any advice or anyone gone through something similar, would be greatly received. Many thanks "
In the words of the song; "Keep on running"! |
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"I'm quite sad for her really. I appreciate that you don't want to have a relationship at the moment, but how can you have regular sex with someone who would be 'not for you' in terms of a relationship?
"
Quite easy. It is sex without emotional attachment. Physical attraction and emotional attachment aren't the same thing.
We all have the capacity for casual sex. Some are just more in tune with that than others.
The act of pleasurable sex, with a gratifying end does not have to equate to wanting to have a relationship with the person you are sleeping with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been in this situation some years ago, I can understand the lines for her have been blurred and what started out as just sex means more now. My "friend" was just honest with me...hurt like hell at the time but looking back rather that then spending more time having sex and trying to let me down gently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes end it now before you get yourself into an even bigger hole
Thanks for your posts, i have ended it today. "
can I have her profile name , mmm I might get her on the rebound ,
only joking xx |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"Be really honest and stop shagging her lol women are delicate "
Awww Im feeling all girlie now. Ive been called some things in my time - but 'delicate' aint one of them... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think you have to stop as everyone else has said. It happened to me about two years ago, she wanted more than I did and it was very difficult to get her to let it go, caused me some difficulties at the club where we met as well for a while. |
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