FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Face pic exchange stalemate
Face pic exchange stalemate
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ? |
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A little from column A, a little from column B.
You have to judge every situation on its merits. If you believe the guy to be genuine, ie he has good veri's and the rest of his pics are good then maybe you should show a little trust and send yours first.
I have sent face pics many times only for the message to be deleted and receive no reply, which I think is pretty crappy really. I can understand why these guys don't want to send theirs first and I can understand your reluctance too but ultimately someone needs to take the plunge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its fine folks having their own preferred ways of doing things on here, but personally I won't send out a face pic without seeing theirs first - my verifications should firmly establish that I'm no timewaster or pic collector. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell them if they wanta meet to show pics.
We had a message of a couple yesterday saying love our pics but have we got face pics.said yes
They replied and asked to see them,then they show theirs
Told them no as they messaged us they show us or move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no qualms about sending first. And if I'm sending the initial message I'll add a couple to solve any problems. But it's your profile, your rules, so stick with your own way of doing things, and you can't go wrong |
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"Tell them if they wanta meet to show pics.
We had a message of a couple yesterday saying love our pics but have we got face pics.said yes
They replied and asked to see them,then they show theirs
Told them no as they messaged us they show us or move on."
I agree with you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We rarely make first contact with guys so it doesn't appear that we're too out of step with opinion in expecting pics first. A lot of guys do send pics without any issues (and without us asking - lol) so when you come across ones who don't it can raise suspicions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ah 'The Big Bang Theory' approach with a slightly different meaning to the 'Bang' 
"Personally, I always work on the basis that whoever makes first contact shows first.
Good way to do it.
Or Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who ever makes first contact should provide theirs first, just my opinion of course x"
I agree. Making first contact means THEY really want the meet. Therefore, THEY should show first. Whether it's single guy, girl, couple doesn't matter. It's whoever most wants the meet who should show first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who ever makes first contact should provide theirs first, just my opinion of course x
I agree. Making first contact means THEY really want the meet. Therefore, THEY should show first. Whether it's single guy, girl, couple doesn't matter. It's whoever most wants the meet who should show first."
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By *ikkiBWoman
over a year ago
Falkirk |
I only show mine to those im either friendly with or who I intend on meeting. I get many random messages askin for pics but I just ignore them mostly. Even had someone offer to pay me for a pic  |
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"We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ? "
We all set our own individual preferences and meet criteria. If others don't respect that, that in itself is a filter! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree that the side that contacts initially should be happy to send the first face pic,never had a situation of im not sending mine until you send yours,if it did I know id end the contact at that point,im not into all that faffing around  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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UPDATE
Guy was too successful to exchange pics and suspiciously, despite having no tattoos, would not show us body pics either. Our suspicions we're probably correct. We've met some really successful people on here and other sites and even they showed body pics! We've moved on.
God this is difficult lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ? "
There's a simple rule that I use. I'm a single guy, and if I find a couple or a single girl who I'm interested in, I always send a message with a face pic attached. Also, if I get a message from a single girl or a couple, which interests me ... I reply with a message and a face pic attached. To be honest, I don't really understand why a guy would not want to send his face pic to you. Equally, why would you not want to send your face pics to him? Modesty, on a swinging site which exists for nsa sex meets, seems to be somewhat misplaced  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ?
There's a simple rule that I use. I'm a single guy, and if I find a couple or a single girl who I'm interested in, I always send a message with a face pic attached. Also, if I get a message from a single girl or a couple, which interests me ... I reply with a message and a face pic attached. To be honest, I don't really understand why a guy would not want to send his face pic to you. Equally, why would you not want to send your face pics to him? Modesty, on a swinging site which exists for nsa sex meets, seems to be somewhat misplaced "
We had someone from work chat with us then send face pic. Almost fell off our seats. Had to make our excuses. We've got good jobs and kids so like most couples we want to hide this part of our life. That's why we're careful with face pics.
If I (male of couple) was a single guy I wouldn't be as worried. Single guy looking for NSA sex wouldn't make the local papers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We had someone from work chat with us then send face pic. Almost fell off our seats. Had to make our excuses. We've got good jobs and kids so like most couples we want to hide this part of our life. That's why we're careful with face pics.
If I (male of couple) was a single guy I wouldn't be as worried. Single guy looking for NSA sex wouldn't make the local papers "
You're right, and thanks for the kind response. I keep forgetting, as a single guy, that couples have to be careful with jobs/kids etc.. Its a shame though, because the guy from work that you mentioned was interested. Hope you let him down gently |
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"UPDATE
Guy was too successful to exchange pics and suspiciously, despite having no tattoos, would not show us body pics either. Our suspicions we're probably correct. We've met some really successful people on here and other sites and even they showed body pics! We've moved on.
God this is difficult lol "
As others have said...sounds fishy, if he wants to meet he should forward photo first, would steer well clear.... Plenty of other guys would love a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ?
There's a simple rule that I use. I'm a single guy, and if I find a couple or a single girl who I'm interested in, I always send a message with a face pic attached. Also, if I get a message from a single girl or a couple, which interests me ... I reply with a message and a face pic attached. To be honest, I don't really understand why a guy would not want to send his face pic to you. Equally, why would you not want to send your face pics to him? Modesty, on a swinging site which exists for nsa sex meets, seems to be somewhat misplaced
We had someone from work chat with us then send face pic. Almost fell off our seats. Had to make our excuses. We've got good jobs and kids so like most couples we want to hide this part of our life. That's why we're careful with face pics.
If I (male of couple) was a single guy I wouldn't be as worried. Single guy looking for NSA sex wouldn't make the local papers "
Depends on what said single guy did for a living! |
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"We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ? "
i think if you are looking for single guys it should be you who puts your face pics on first,however if its them looking it is there turn. but who called who and why would either contact someone who did not have a face pic on in the first place  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest, I don't really understand why a guy would not want to send his face pic to you. "
because then they have you body/cock pic and your face pic and csn put the two together. That's fine if there is trust but at the initial stages its a risk. Several folk on here i sent both two i never heard from. They could do anything with those pics. And whilst it might not make the local papers, i'd probably lose my job if they went public
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I work on the basis that whoever sends the first message is responsible for the face picture first except the guy that has said that when we meet, he will THEN send me a face picture   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I work on the basis that whoever sends the first message is responsible for the face picture first except the guy that has said that when we meet, he will THEN send me a face picture "
what? after the meet? haha  |
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"We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ? "
Webcams are good if you find yourself in this situation, that way it's 1, 2, 3 show! |
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"A little from column A, a little from column B.
You have to judge every situation on its merits. If you believe the guy to be genuine, ie he has good veri's and the rest of his pics are good then maybe you should show a little trust and send yours first.
I have sent face pics many times only for the message to be deleted and receive no reply, which I think is pretty crappy really. I can understand why these guys don't want to send theirs first and I can understand your reluctance too but ultimately someone needs to take the plunge. "
Been here myself mate, stinks doesn't it? Common courtesy costs nothing, I was taught. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I work on the basis that whoever sends the first message is responsible for the face picture first except the guy that has said that when we meet, he will THEN send me a face picture
what? after the meet? haha "
Yep and I am still trying to understand why, and make him understand that I am not making arrangements to meet without seeing it, still waiting |
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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago
folkestone |
Face pics in my experience are overrated anyway. How do you know how recent they were taken? I much prefer doing a cam to cam with both of the couple there on cam. It gives a much better idea of what they look like and what i look like now, rather than say 2 years ago.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"UPDATE
Guy was too successful to exchange pics and suspiciously, despite having no tattoos, would not show us body pics either. Our suspicions we're probably correct. We've met some really successful people on here and other sites and even they showed body pics! We've moved on.
God this is difficult lol "
I really don't get people who use excuses like this. At the end of the day we are all (supposedly) here for the same reasons. To meet new friends and have some fun in the process. If someone is genuine they will have no problem sharing pics, if not there is obviously something dodgy. If your job of any kind prevents you sharing pics as details then your in the wrong place and need to move along. It isn't illegal so there's nothing to hide. |
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"A little from column A, a little from column B.
You have to judge every situation on its merits. If you believe the guy to be genuine, ie he has good veri's and the rest of his pics are good then maybe you should show a little trust and send yours first.
I have sent face pics many times only for the message to be deleted and receive no reply, which I think is pretty crappy really. I can understand why these guys don't want to send theirs first and I can understand your reluctance too but ultimately someone needs to take the plunge. "
+1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ? "
I just think we all have rights to be discreet. I find most people will show their photo to me first if not ..... next |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Face pics in my experience are overrated anyway. How do you know how recent they were taken? I much prefer doing a cam to cam with both of the couple there on cam. It gives a much better idea of what they look like and what i look like now, rather than say 2 years ago.
"
True and I find most people look different in the flesh anyway but I don't like cam either |
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"I have no qualms about sending first. And if I'm sending the initial message I'll add a couple to solve any problems. But it's your profile, your rules, so stick with your own way of doing things, and you can't go wrong "
This. |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ? "
I'm trying to avoid forums but this one interests me having been in similar stalemates
If i may propose a scenario to you (one i have encountered and think is wrong) if a member approaches you and sends a pic would you send one back even if it was a 'no thank you' ?
I only ask as personally (& this is just my opinion) if i send/receive a pic then i will always respond with one in return. Whether there is mutual attraction and that attraction remains in person is another question i think it's rude, impolite and untrustworthy to ask for one and not send one back.
I don't think you're being harsh and have every right to privacy just as single guys or girls. If they do not wish to send one then that's their loss, the above was just my wayward thoughts on the topic
*crawling back under my rock before i get spotted for writing too much  *
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Being a couple we get approached from guys more than we approach them. We always tell guys who approach us that we need to find out about them first and they shouldn't send us face pics until we feel we may want to meet. We are then honest and say that if they send us a pic and we like then we will return a pic. If we don't fancy them then we won't return a pic (but they have been warned).
We don't see the point in sending pics to guys who we arent going to meet (remember they knew the rules before exchanging pics). Like most things in swinging the female holds all the power and if she doesn't like the guys pic then she chooses not to show hers. May seem cruel but just practical and up front. |
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By the same token, i've contacted, and met couples who have sent their face pics to me first, with no issues.
As someone mentioned, weigh each case up based on its merits. I don't always send my pics first, especially in situations where i'm not 100% sure of the person/ people i'm in contact with.
If you reach a stalemate, touch cookie. Find someone else that will happily bend to your will (as it appears) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"By the same token, i've contacted, and met couples who have sent their face pics to me first, with no issues.
As someone mentioned, weigh each case up based on its merits. I don't always send my pics first, especially in situations where i'm not 100% sure of the person/ people i'm in contact with.
If you reach a stalemate, touch cookie. Find someone else that will happily bend to your will (as it appears)"
There is no will to bend to. We make the way we interact pretty clear to anyone who wants to exchange pics. We state what we want to do and they can do likewise. If we both match then great. If we don't feel comfortable on either side then so be it. They don't bend to our will as they have their own mind and we respect that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who ever makes first contact should provide theirs first, just my opinion of course x
I agree. Making first contact means THEY really want the meet. Therefore, THEY should show first. Whether it's single guy, girl, couple doesn't matter. It's whoever most wants the meet who should show first."
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"We have reached a couple of stalemates with single guys recently where they won't show their face pic until we show ours. We understand couples have no more rights than single guys to discretion. However we have come across lots of single guys who seem to be pic collectors (much more than couples) and our view (right or wrong) is that society judges a couple with kids on a sex site more harshly than a single guy.
For that reason we always ask for the guys face photo first then return the favour. We've recently talked to some guys who won't do this (we've got good verification so hopefully they can see we're genuine).
Are we being harsh or are we right to be careful ? "
My rule is simple. I send a first message then I add a face pic. They send a first message, I expect the same in return. |
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