FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Lost Mojo! (Sob)......

Lost Mojo! (Sob)......

By *for Biggun OP Man over a year ago

Mid/ North Wales/ Shropshire

Hi. Have lost my swinging mojo... Can anyone help me rediscover it?!

The gist of it is this... had three fantastic years on this site, met some amazing people, fantastic experiences & made some firm friends.... Then it all went Pete Tong about 2 months ago.

don't want to go into to much detail, but had a major fallout with a couple I was very good friends with. A large chunk of it was my fault, happy to put my hands up to it... but not all... there was plenty of blame to go around!

Mutual friends took their side, without even at least asking for my take on proceedings.... So there was a chunk of my swinging fraternity suddenly missing.

Took a major step of actually deleting my account, felt I had to get out of the madness a while. Drawn back in as I have a swing camp, next weekend, already paid for & don't want to let down the organiser, who's also a good friend.

Got a lot of support from friends when I was away from Fab, was very hearteing to hear, still felt I was coming back way to early though!

But... since I have been back I feel my Confidence has been shattered. I seem to question every move I make, nothing is "flowing" naturally as it used to.

Went to a new club with friends, that "buzz" of excitment & nerves I used to get before a meet or Club visit was gone.... just emptiness. Had a nice night when I got there but by the end of the Weekend felt down in the dumps again!

Have "bumped" into my former friends in chat, real sense of awkwardness all round & we have spoken briefly on the phone. Have texted to see if we can at least have a civil conversation about what happened, to at least clear the air.... no joy....

I feel I can't carry on with my Swinging fun until this is resolved, hence the loss of my mojo I reckon!

Any sound words of advice would be most helpful! Thank You!

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By *livia_KWoman over a year ago

South London

Sounds like you have not had a great time of it. Been there done that myself.

But speaking from personal experience, It's best to keep these things out of the forums. Doesn't do anyone any favours in the end as you could be opening yourself up to too much comeback...

Good luck though. The mojo does return I promise. Might just take a little bit of time.

Oli xx

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By *for Biggun OP Man over a year ago

Mid/ North Wales/ Shropshire

Thanks Oli! Appreciated! Hope you are right as far as the Mojo! X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you should just try and move past it. They might never forgive you so why let it keep getting you down. Obviously its had a major affect on your mood and enjoyment but the only way to get though it is to carry on. It should get easier and one day hopefully very soon you'll be back in your stride. It also helps if you tell yourself you don't give a shit and eventually you'll believe it. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mojo's come and go as does general confidence...usually it returns once you have learnt to relax and start putting yourself first..not others!..Then it will return in abundance!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Life is an endless circle - until it ends, what comes, goes, and visa versa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Friends come and go, life goes on, and the world does not stop spinning etc...

Let go and move on, as life really is too short.

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By *for Biggun OP Man over a year ago

Mid/ North Wales/ Shropshire

Thanks for the advice everyone! Much appreciated. Think it's time to draw a line under the whole episode,learn from it & move on!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you are still trying to rediscover the vibe you had with the previous couple but that sounds as if its gone long term. You need to create a new vibe with new people and stop looking behind you at what was.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We do fall out with it all from time to time and we often have a crisis of confidence to why anyone would actually want to meet us.

Only natural unless you have an extraordinarily thick skin.

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

If you bumped into your former friends in chat then I assume they are still members here, in which case its not really appropriate to be discussing your 'fall-out' in the forums so Im closing this sorry

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