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Her first mfm
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I have a new playmate and she'd like to try an mfm - with which I'm overjoyed and am happy to organise.
We've discussed location and she'd prefer it to happen at a club, although neither of us have ever been to a club yet. The theory is that we can play if she feels comfortable but no problem if she doesn't. She also wants it to be a surprise.
So I'm thinking of taking her to Bristol Gardens in Brighton on a couples-only night. I'm expecting that we could find another women who would be willing/happy to allow her man to play with us (I'm straight), but obviously I don't know the score.
I'm expecting that a night with an abundance of single males might be a little off-putting for her as it's her first time, but that's equally a possibility.
All advice welcomed from those with relevant experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi, never been to that club but it's a good idea for someone dipping their toe in the water. Some couples play seperately or you could pick a quiet night at the club where there won't be so many single guys. I'm sure if you tell the staff it's your first visit they'll look after you. Good luck and hope it goes well.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple that attends clubs primarily on couples nights, we would not be interested in playing separately and I think you are being naive in thinking that many couples would be receptive to that suggestion. What do you expect the guys partner to do while you are enjoying an MFM with her partner?
Realsiticaly if you are going on a couples night then you have to be looking at playing with another couple and if you are set on playing with just a male then you need to go on a night when they are allowed |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
You could always try dogging. It is free, apart from the petrol, and you don't have to play until she feels comfortable. If she doesn't then you can either go home, or go somewhere quiet and play on your own.  |
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By *roquoisMan
over a year ago
Portsmouth |
"As a couple that attends clubs primarily on couples nights, we would not be interested in playing separately and I think you are being naive in thinking that many couples would be receptive to that suggestion. What do you expect the guys partner to do while you are enjoying an MFM with her partner?
Realsiticaly if you are going on a couples night then you have to be looking at playing with another couple and if you are set on playing with just a male then you need to go on a night when they are allowed "
Pretty much all of your replies to posts made are condescending, negative or down right insulting to the OP...you should work on your etiquette...this has been pointed out to you several times before but apparently it falls on deaf ears. I trust this one wont. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't see where they have been condescending or negative anywhere in that post. It was an honest answer from experienced club goers that might save the OP and his friend a wasted club visit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our one and only time we went to a club, we ended up playing with a single guy who had come in as part of a couple with his next door neighbour. She was in the sauna and he got bored so went for a walk to look around, he asked if we minded him watching us so we just said why don't you come and join in. A very good time was had by all, but it was more luck than anything else I think. But who knows, they may get lucky too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You'll be fine at bristol gardens, the couples are usually quite accomodating once in the restrooms and if you go during the day you'll be able to pick a bloke your missys likes the look of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple that attends clubs primarily on couples nights, we would not be interested in playing separately and I think you are being naive in thinking that many couples would be receptive to that suggestion. What do you expect the guys partner to do while you are enjoying an MFM with her partner?
Realsiticaly if you are going on a couples night then you have to be looking at playing with another couple and if you are set on playing with just a male then you need to go on a night when they are allowed
Pretty much all of your replies to posts made are condescending, negative or down right insulting to the OP...you should work on your etiquette...this has been pointed out to you several times before but apparently it falls on deaf ears. I trust this one wont."
To be honest I think the answer was spot on we only go to clubs in couples only nights and I agree there are couples who play separately I wouldn't say this is the norm, I think the answer was just being helpful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The trick i think in a club is private rooms as then you select your play mate and not get put off by others watching or wanting to joining in but it all down to your likes and dislikes as all can be fun  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple that attends clubs primarily on couples nights, we would not be interested in playing separately and I think you are being naive in thinking that many couples would be receptive to that suggestion. What do you expect the guys partner to do while you are enjoying an MFM with her partner?
Realsiticaly if you are going on a couples night then you have to be looking at playing with another couple and if you are set on playing with just a male then you need to go on a night when they are allowed
Pretty much all of your replies to posts made are condescending, negative or down right insulting to the OP...you should work on your etiquette...this has been pointed out to you several times before but apparently it falls on deaf ears. I trust this one wont."
we can't see anything wrong with the ops post. Its informative, helpful and to the point. Wouldn't it have been better to message him privately explaining your opinion of his post instead of trying to publicly berate him? I presume you are a moderator, I thought mods always conducted moderation in private? |
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"You'll be fine at bristol gardens, the couples are usually quite accomodating once in the restrooms and if you go during the day you'll be able to pick a bloke your missys likes the look of. "
OP: this. It's a relaxing spa and a chance for your friend to pick out a guy she likes in the spa area before going to the restrooms for a 3sum. More choice of men on a non couples night. |
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in no particular order -
she doesn't want to go dogging yet - maybe later . . .
i've read quite a few reviews stating that single guys at clubs can be a right pain in the backside, following women around like lost puppies, occupying the playrooms & refusing to leave, rattling the doors of locked playrooms, taking "no" to mean "yes" and interpreting "fuck off & die" to mean "yes please i'm gagging for it". i'm expecting single males to be rather over-represented at mixed sex evenings, and i'm concerned about it being a less than pleasant experience for her.
i should've mentioned that she is bi/bi-curious.
my suggestion of borrowing a male was off-kilter . . . perhaps it would be better to think along the lines of we could all play together as mfmf, mfm, fmf, etc. my principal concern is that she gets to experience her first taste of mfm in a relaxed environment - anything else is a bonus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well if you choose the right club, they limit the amount of single males and they know how to behave, if you are willing to play with another couple in our experience couples only nights have a more relaxed feel about them |
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"Well if you choose the right club, they limit the amount of single males and they know how to behave"
don't suppose that you could recommend one/some in the south-east that limit single males, could you?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go with my partner to mixed nights and have to be honest the single men always listen to him, I've never had to say a word myself, never felt pressured or uncomfortable, only ever suck guys off in glory holes and we go in there for that reason and expect it!
Go and have a bit of time at the club and chill ad relax and go with the flow is what I suggest, or if its just a Man U want have a look through the local ish verified guys to u as have a social first then back to Urs or a hotel if u feel the urge to rip his clothes off!
We have made some lovely friends at the club so it's worth going just for that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple that attends clubs primarily on couples nights, we would not be interested in playing separately and I think you are being naive in thinking that many couples would be receptive to that suggestion. What do you expect the guys partner to do while you are enjoying an MFM with her partner?
Realsiticaly if you are going on a couples night then you have to be looking at playing with another couple and if you are set on playing with just a male then you need to go on a night when they are allowed
Pretty much all of your replies to posts made are condescending, negative or down right insulting to the OP...you should work on your etiquette...this has been pointed out to you several times before but apparently it falls on deaf ears. I trust this one wont."
So what part of my post do you disagree with and why? Most other posters appear to think that it was valid advice... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"in no particular order -
she doesn't want to go dogging yet - maybe later . . .
i've read quite a few reviews stating that single guys at clubs can be a right pain in the backside, following women around like lost puppies, occupying the playrooms & refusing to leave, rattling the doors of locked playrooms, taking "no" to mean "yes" and interpreting "fuck off & die" to mean "yes please i'm gagging for it". i'm expecting single males to be rather over-represented at mixed sex evenings, and i'm concerned about it being a less than pleasant experience for her.
i should've mentioned that she is bi/bi-curious.
my suggestion of borrowing a male was off-kilter . . . perhaps it would be better to think along the lines of we could all play together as mfmf, mfm, fmf, etc. my principal concern is that she gets to experience her first taste of mfm in a relaxed environment - anything else is a bonus."
Don't fall in to the trap of believing that all the bad reviews are representative of single males at all clubs. Most decent clubs won;t tolerate the sort of behaviour that you describe and it appears to be a trait of a minority of clubs. We are regulars at VA and Tease and have never experienced any real problems, though we do tend to go on couples only nights (though not exclusively) and GillyHicks makes a very valid comments that there is a different atmosphere on couples only nights.
With regards to 4 sums, you are thinking in the right way, although we have had pretty much straight partner swaps most do evolve in to at times MFM and FFM as well as MFMF. |
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"As a couple that attends clubs primarily on couples nights, we would not be interested in playing separately and I think you are being naive in thinking that many couples would be receptive to that suggestion. What do you expect the guys partner to do while you are enjoying an MFM with her partner?
Realsiticaly if you are going on a couples night then you have to be looking at playing with another couple and if you are set on playing with just a male then you need to go on a night when they are allowed
Pretty much all of your replies to posts made are condescending, negative or down right insulting to the OP...you should work on your etiquette...this has been pointed out to you several times before but apparently it falls on deaf ears. I trust this one wont.
So what part of my post do you disagree with and why? Most other posters appear to think that it was valid advice..."
We did. We thought it was bang on the money and good sensible advice.
Criticising someone else's etiquette by berating them in public lol... Classic.
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"in no particular order -
she doesn't want to go dogging yet - maybe later . . .
i've read quite a few reviews stating that single guys at clubs can be a right pain in the backside, following women around like lost puppies, occupying the playrooms & refusing to leave, rattling the doors of locked playrooms, taking "no" to mean "yes" and interpreting "fuck off & die" to mean "yes please i'm gagging for it". i'm expecting single males to be rather over-represented at mixed sex evenings, and i'm concerned about it being a less than pleasant experience for her.
i should've mentioned that she is bi/bi-curious.
my suggestion of borrowing a male was off-kilter . . . perhaps it would be better to think along the lines of we could all play together as mfmf, mfm, fmf, etc. my principal concern is that she gets to experience her first taste of mfm in a relaxed environment - anything else is a bonus."
Check out Vanilla Alternative.
We think its perfect for what you are looking for to.
It's in Bedfordshire so may mean a but of travel but they have an attached hotel that's reasonable and it is worth the distance. We are origionally from Kent and used to make the trip for that club.
It's the perfect way to see what it's all about without being comitted to anything. It's a great night out wether you play or not  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple that attends clubs primarily on couples nights, we would not be interested in playing separately and I think you are being naive in thinking that many couples would be receptive to that suggestion. What do you expect the guys partner to do while you are enjoying an MFM with her partner?
Realsiticaly if you are going on a couples night then you have to be looking at playing with another couple and if you are set on playing with just a male then you need to go on a night when they are allowed
Pretty much all of your replies to posts made are condescending, negative or down right insulting to the OP...you should work on your etiquette...this has been pointed out to you several times before but apparently it falls on deaf ears. I trust this one wont.
To be honest I think the answer was spot on we only go to clubs in couples only nights and I agree there are couples who play separately I wouldn't say this is the norm, I think the answer was just being helpful "
We agree! As a couple only after Single Guys we would never dream of going to a Couples Night and expecting only one half to play so stick to nights that aren't Couples Only. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's a great idea to do the club thing OP so theres no pressure to play. Whilst we're not regular club goers we have been many times over the years and never found single guys that much of a problem. All I would say is as the guy, if any man did start to pester / follow it would be the gentlemanly thing for you to make it known the attention is unwelcome.
You have gone on to say that a mfmf scenario is okay but your original post is for mmf. As the fem half of a couple I would not be happy being side lined, so I'd proceed with caution there if this is your ultimate plan.
I really would suggest a club night with single guys so you can pick and choose. We've met and played with lots of lovely guys this way and as its mmf you really want, you should all go home very happy.  |
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thank you all for the advice - and here's an update for you -
spontaneously went to bristol gardens and had a ball. we went mid afternoon until early evening so we were there during both mixed sex & mixed couple sessions - lovely people all round.
we didn't play with anyone else as we were both first-timers and therefore a bit nervous . . . but we'll be going back and the lady intends to be naughty, naughty, very very naughty
surprisingly, it was with a different woman from the one that i was thinking about when i started this thread but i'm not complaining |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go to clubs on cpl and single nights.
Yes single men try their luck some know when they not wanted,some haven't got a clue and need telling firmly to do one.
I'd say go on a single night,filter through the fatties and uglies untill you spot someone you like and ask them if they want to play |
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