FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single Males; reply?
Single Males; reply?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling.
Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
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This is the reason I don't reply. I've had reactions like that from single guys and couples before. It's a shame because I don't get so many messages that would make a 'thanks but no thanks' reply too time consuming to send but I'm fed up of hassle or being asked to justify my reasons so now I don't bother at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you should accept those guys are just rude and ignorant. Block them after you have said no. If couples reply to me, I always thank them for the reply and wish them well. Too many people just hit the delete button. Life is too short and this is supposed to be fun.
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We don't bother when it comes to messages like that or people who have clearly failed to read our profile.
Messages that are well constructed and personal will get a polite "No thanks" if we're not interested. - We've had mostly "Thank you for the reply"'s but if we do get any who come back with abuse, we just report, block and delete.
It does state in the site rules though that it is NOT rude not to reply.
- Amy. x |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Nope! It is not rude to not reply to crap messages, I've had two messages today, asking for hotel & truck meets for tonight, they have clearly not bothered to read my profile, so I am not being rude ignoring their messages, otherwise you can open yourself up for abuse or ping pong messages trying to convince you otherwise!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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NO you don't. I've stopped answering if they've obviously not read my profile, send me those boring cut and paste drivel, live miles away and the fancy a shag / nice pins one liners. I've been called all sorts and although I can live with old and fat [at a push] I was always taken aback when they called me ugly without seeing a face pic and a miserable cow just for saying no! Now I delete and don't think twice about it. if they come back and complain, block!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling.
Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
"
This is why we put up our rules, so many single males(and the odd couple) just thought they had the right to be either abusive or completely disregard what we wanted. Our view, it is our ball and we will take it away when we want. Mind despite making it clear in our rules we still end up blocking, on average, 6 males a day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you should accept those guys are just rude and ignorant. Block them after you have said no. If couples reply to me, I always thank them for the reply and wish them well. Too many people just hit the delete button. Life is too short and this is supposed to be fun.
"
See having sent loads of thanks but no thanks to then get loads of 'thanks any ways' back into the inbox  (great twice as much to delete)
I used to feel guilty about blocking and never just deleted. Not anymore.
A delete is a thanks but no thanks, but then I'm only quoting the site rules |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having recently ventured into the world of couples profiles (don't panic - just FB's!!) - I've heard many a tale of such messages but being a mere mortal single guy, obviously never been on the receiving end of such utter crap until now!
But since setting up the new profile there's been a steady flow of "how are you", "nice tits" and "when can we meet" style messages. Admittedly I've had a whale of a time sending the odd sarcastic reply to people who assume its not me logged on - but I now see the reason many couples have the views they do!
That said - we've had many very nice, chatty and humorous messages too. So we've adopted the "crap message = delete" approach, "nice message = reply" - whether we're interested or not. A pretty simple policy and one that causes no stress at all!
So OP's - don't feel guilty in hitting delete and/or blocking - sometimes it's well deserved. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, you shouldn't feel the need to reply. more so if that is what happens.
Sorry you had to face that, block and move on"
We are trying to be polite.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The frustration with this is that they sent the message then blocked us so we now can't either block or report them!"
Yeah you can, type their username into your block list, so then they cant unblock you and email again or perv your profile  You should be able to report the email from the email |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If its a well though out message that you feel warrants a reply then yes.
However if its a shit message written by a neanderthal goons along the lines of "How r u? U lk sukn dik?" then I wouldn't even bother. They haven't put the effort in so why should you?
In fact, block, block, blockedy block block!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do understand that ladies get lots of pm and cannot reply to them all ..Has a single male i do get frustated when i put a lot of time and thought into a message and it just gets deleted .. x |
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Sigh...
1. Set filters.
2. State on profile you'll only respond to those that meet what you're looking for.
3. DON'T reply to those outwith what you're looking for!
Honestly, it really is that easy! |
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TBH...we have had the same, it has got to the stage where we would not meet any of the single blokes from this site. Haven't chatted to a single one who gets the concept of 'swinging' most treat it as a free nsa fuck site. So we are just here for the social side of things now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree as a single guy if i get a no thanks i just reply with a thanks for getting back and take care"
That's what I do as I know everyone has a type and its polite to reply to people as well. Even if you aren't interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having recently ventured into the world of couples profiles (don't panic - just FB's!!) - I've heard many a tale of such messages but being a mere mortal single guy, obviously never been on the receiving end of such utter crap until now!
But since setting up the new profile there's been a steady flow of "how are you", "nice tits" and "when can we meet" style messages. Admittedly I've had a whale of a time sending the odd sarcastic reply to people who assume its not me logged on - but I now see the reason many couples have the views they do!
That said - we've had many very nice, chatty and humorous messages too. So we've adopted the "crap message = delete" approach, "nice message = reply" - whether we're interested or not. A pretty simple policy and one that causes no stress at all!
So OP's - don't feel guilty in hitting delete and/or blocking - sometimes it's well deserved. "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling.
Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
"
Had it plenty of times even when had old profile on here...
Simple really just block and don't reply to messages that you don't like...
Wouldn't get that bothered about it that I felt the need to name and shame on my profile tho x |
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By *iguy197Man
over a year ago
st albans |
personally as a single male, i would appreciate a 'no thank you' message. At least you then know. if im not someones type for whatever reason, then that's fair enough, i don't expect everybody to want to be with me (though i'm sure that would be nice, if not tiring?!)
but i wouldn't want a load of abuse back either if i declined someone. you wouldn't do it if you met someone in a club or the pub and they said no, so its no different on here, if they don't like you and say no thank you, then i personally wish them well with their search and hope someone else out there does like me more |
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling.
Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
"
Yes def lots of us appreciate a thanks but no thanks as well as a yes.
Dont let "their problem" become your problem. dont get upset or angry just get even BLOCK them after all you wouldnt want to meet them after that now would you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The vast majority of couples and females here don't reply even to polite, non-copypasted, considered messages - so you shouldn't feel bad about not replying to the morons! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling.
Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
"
Don't bother replying unless they're of interest, we discovered if you do you end up with abuse or questions why!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just gives the genuine guys a bad name and puts of women /couples from chatting to people . I would always be respectful in my response "
See I disagree with the whole "gives genuine guys a bad name" school o thought.
In fact I think the genuine guys actually look more appealing when compared to the imbecilic fuckwits.
Now I don't purport to be any remarkable kind of chap really. But next to these drooling baboons I look like Sir Galahad himself, trotting into view on a noble white steed and carrying your most beloved pet that he has just rescued from a house fire.
Which can only be a good thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just gives the genuine guys a bad name and puts of women /couples from chatting to people . I would always be respectful in my response
See I disagree with the whole "gives genuine guys a bad name" school o thought.
In fact I think the genuine guys actually look more appealing when compared to the imbecilic fuckwits.
Now I don't purport to be any remarkable kind of chap really. But next to these drooling baboons I look like Sir Galahad himself, trotting into view on a noble white steed and carrying your most beloved pet that he has just rescued from a house fire.
Which can only be a good thing. "
Think I meant to say it doesn't help the genuine guys cause but you are right if you are up front and honest you can't go far wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling.
Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
"
I've stopped replying now unless its a really really nice message but now I just delete if they try and send again block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We politely turned a guy down. He became really abusive and made all sorts of threats, so after some teasing blocked him. 20 mins later he had made a new profile and started again!
Bless him, he is so wound up!
Playing with him a bit more, but will block again later.
We have nooooo idea why he would behave like that? So funny!
Treat them with distain! Laugh at them
X x x
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By *hocmanxMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
"
I'm going to dare to stick my neck out and hope I don't get slaughtered for saying this;
I think if someone is coming across rude or abusive then you should tell them how they are making you feel. Some people don't even realise that people will take offence to their messages.
(That pretty much sums up my point but feel free to read on if you want see where my thoughts are coming from)
Example; I received a message from a gay guy recently which made me cringe and there was no way I was going to respond to that. After reading the message back again I realised that I was on the sending end I would have thought this was an "okay" message to send. It's only when you're on the receiving end that you realise how poor the message is.
I think if we tell people how their messages makes us feel it will do two important things:
1) It gives them a chance to apologise and change for the better
2) If they do change then we have actually saved someone else from receiving the same kind of messages from that person
So I personally think that just blocking someone doesn't really help...it's just sweeping the problem under the carpet. |
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Its not your fault they dont read your profile or they are morons,we still get messages even tho it says we only play with single guys at clubs,or we will contact them ,use your deleteas a stress Burton simples  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you're nor looking to meeting 'single male use the filters...simple really"
That doesn't work as we sometimes do want to find single males so we don't want to block them all.
But like someone has mentioned D is not sat at home frothing at the gash 24-7 and meets random men who send one line messages. People just don't seem to put any effort in and fail to see swinging isn't just sex.
Pity there is not a bellend filter! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do the moderators not have a system where people found to be sending abusive messages can have their account suspended or something? ?"
Yes but people need to report abusive messages as there's no way admin can screen every message and decide if it's abusive or not. I have known them to act swiftly when I've reported someone so I'd definitely encourage people to use the report button as well as the block button |
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling.
Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
"
Dissapointing ! Another single male bashing . Bad behaviour is not the exclusivity of single males . I was recently conversing with a couple , they wanted me to meet , but once they found out I did not do bareback , they immediately got abusive and then blocked me . Maybe us single guys should start more posts off about couples and single females . I fear it may crash the website !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My messages start all the same hi or how you doing you don't need to send more than that then if the like what they see you'll get a messages back simple shit my friends keep it simple, keep it clean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
I'm going to dare to stick my neck out and hope I don't get slaughtered for saying this;
I think if someone is coming across rude or abusive then you should tell them how they are making you feel. Some people don't even realise that people will take offence to their messages.
(That pretty much sums up my point but feel free to read on if you want see where my thoughts are coming from)
Example; I received a message from a gay guy recently which made me cringe and there was no way I was going to respond to that. After reading the message back again I realised that I was on the sending end I would have thought this was an "okay" message to send. It's only when you're on the receiving end that you realise how poor the message is.
I think if we tell people how their messages makes us feel it will do two important things:
1) It gives them a chance to apologise and change for the better
2) If they do change then we have actually saved someone else from receiving the same kind of messages from that person
So I personally think that just blocking someone doesn't really help...it's just sweeping the problem under the carpet."
Just to play the other side of the coin here...how would sending a message which basically told me that he'd 'love to meet me...if I lost a few stone' in any way shape or form come across as an "okay message to send". Not everyone does it and it's not exclusive to single guys but due to messages like this I no longer bother to reply to those I'm not interested in as, despite the abusive messages being limited, I got sick of them and it hasn't exactly helped my pre-existing confidence issues. Yes I do need to lose weight, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fuck everyone that feels they're doing me a favour by offering me what they see as a sympathy shag! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking as a single male I would never just message someone fancy a fuck! I always try to be polite and I always add a face pic to show I'm genuine and if I get a no thanks I always message back thanks for the reply and it is people like them that can't be arced trying to wright a nice message that make it so hard for the rest of use. So I would say anyone that messages fancy a fuck ect you should just block them rant over lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get it all the time, that and messages directed at Alice only. One guy became very abusive when Rabbit pointed out that he did not have the right parts of the body to do what he was suggesting, then he said Rabbit should sit and watch Alice be used by a real man.....very polite! Sent a last message that was so verbally abusive we had to report him. Only for him to BLOCK US lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question is now should we even bother replying at all?
I'm going to dare to stick my neck out and hope I don't get slaughtered for saying this;
I think if someone is coming across rude or abusive then you should tell them how they are making you feel. Some people don't even realise that people will take offence to their messages.
(That pretty much sums up my point but feel free to read on if you want see where my thoughts are coming from)
Example; I received a message from a gay guy recently which made me cringe and there was no way I was going to respond to that. After reading the message back again I realised that I was on the sending end I would have thought this was an "okay" message to send. It's only when you're on the receiving end that you realise how poor the message is.
I think if we tell people how their messages makes us feel it will do two important things:
1) It gives them a chance to apologise and change for the better
2) If they do change then we have actually saved someone else from receiving the same kind of messages from that person
So I personally think that just blocking someone doesn't really help...it's just sweeping the problem under the carpet.
Just to play the other side of the coin here...how would sending a message which basically told me that he'd 'love to meet me...if I lost a few stone' in any way shape or form come across as an "okay message to send". Not everyone does it and it's not exclusive to single guys but due to messages like this I no longer bother to reply to those I'm not interested in as, despite the abusive messages being limited, I got sick of them and it hasn't exactly helped my pre-existing confidence issues. Yes I do need to lose weight, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fuck everyone that feels they're doing me a favour by offering me what they see as a sympathy shag!"
i just had a quick look at your pics and I don't think you need to loose any weight you are a sexy woman xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few Single males will always create a bad reputation on here. But mf, ff and all types of couples are the same. You get good meets as well as time wasters and fakes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My messages start all the same hi or how you doing you don't need to send more than that then if the like what they see you'll get a messages back simple shit my friends keep it simple, keep it clean. "
Yes but personally think you do need to do more than that.
The amount of messages that say "hi how you doing or " hi want to chat" ect ect...I want to see something that stands out and catches my attention x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My messages start all the same hi or how you doing you don't need to send more than that then if the like what they see you'll get a messages back simple shit my friends keep it simple, keep it clean.
Yes but personally think you do need to do more than that.
The amount of messages that say "hi how you doing or " hi want to chat" ect ect...I want to see something that stands out and catches my attention x"
yes I agree you need to put more of a effort in to your messages mate it's the only way you will stand out from the hundreds of men on hear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont get many replies even though i consider my msgs to be polite how. do you make your msg stand out really. capitals are 1 way i suppose i worry if you say the wrong thing sorry if this msg seems short |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My messages start all the same hi or how you doing you don't need to send more than that then if the like what they see you'll get a messages back simple shit my friends keep it simple, keep it clean.
Yes but personally think you do need to do more than that.
The amount of messages that say "hi how you doing or " hi want to chat" ect ect...I want to see something that stands out and catches my attention x"
yes I agree you need to put more of a effort in to your messages mate it's the only way you will stand out from the hundreds of men on hear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont get many replies even though i consider my msgs to be polite how. do you make your msg stand out really. capitals are 1 way i suppose i worry if you say the wrong thing sorry if this msg seems short |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
OP don't stop doing what you previously did. 1 or 2 stupid messages I bet are in the minority not the majority. I try to reply to every message I receive even if it is to say no thank you. Most people on here are very polite in my experience. When I had someone set up a fake profile giving out my real details, a guy I had said no to previously was the person who alerted me and reported it. The fake account was closed within an hour of it being opened because of him.
Don't let 1 or 2 silly messages but you off being yourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont get many replies even though i consider my msgs to be polite how. do you make your msg stand out really. capitals are 1 way i suppose i worry if you say the wrong thing sorry if this msg seems short"
A lot of people look at the senders profile before deciding what to do with the message so if your profile is rubbish, sending the most beautifully crafted piece of prose as a message won't make any difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single bloke myself it is nice to get a reply even if it is a no thanks, I don't see the point in pointless name calling and impolite behaviour. I have had no thanks messages before and I just wished them well. I have rejected repeated single guys requesting meets whom must never even read any of my profile and said no thanks but the consistently requested a meet so I just blocked them. In truth do what makes you feel happy, no one here is to be abused by improper behaviour by the few. You could always report them if you see fit |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP don't stop doing what you previously did. 1 or 2 stupid messages I bet are in the minority not the majority. I try to reply to every message I receive even if it is to say no thank you. Most people on here are very polite in my experience. When I had someone set up a fake profile giving out my real details, a guy I had said no to previously was the person who alerted me and reported it. The fake account was closed within an hour of it being opened because of him.
Don't let 1 or 2 silly messages but you off being yourselves. "
Yes I suppose so. We send replies as we have our standards of behaviour but it is disappointing when others cant be as civilised.
And yes we direct this equally at men, couples and single females. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people look at the senders profile before deciding what to do with the message so if your profile is rubbish, sending the most beautifully crafted piece of prose as a message won't make any difference."
Thats exactly what i do, if its not what im looking for then i just delete and move on to the next message
Guys if you want to get more meets then spend a little bit of time looking through other guys profile who have a few verifications and see what they are doing right ! Had a guy message me the other day just saying "hi" so just deleted it 5 mins later i get from him "so you dont like fit young guys then?" deleted again and blocked
Put some effort in please xx |
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O dear, as a single gentleman this really muddies the water for the rest of us decent folk.
Good manners and courtesy cost nothing,and after all we are all looking for fun and friendship.
Please remember that I, and I hope many like me, are really lovely people, and would never behave improperly
Good luck and best wishes,
Gentleman Jack XXX  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is very sad that there indeed are people who for want of a better word are just plain n simple muppets.
There are a lot of normal - nice single males on here who can actually take rejection without it being a full on assault of their manliness and take the time to reply cordially with a thanks.
We are not all the same some of us are really nice people. As frustrating and irritating as it is please bear in mind the good one's are out there.
Happy Swinging xx |
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Please block these moronic idiots as they wreck it for us genuine guys. I believe that anyone who sends a polite mail invitation etc deserves a yes or no reply however brief. It's courtesy and good manners and takes seconds to do.
When I met as a couple we always replied and yes it annoys me when folks just delete you within seconds of erceiving a mail you haev thougth carefully over.
If you get rude initial mails then go ahead block or delete.
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"My messages start all the same hi or how you doing you don't need to send more than that then if the like what they see you'll get a messages back simple shit my friends keep it simple, keep it clean. "
Couldn't disagree more. The 'Hi/What you up to/How's it going' messages make me hit the delete button. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is hard enough for a man on this site to get a meet on this site with out the idiots making it harder grrr "
Surely they are the ones who only spoil it for themselves???
The guys who read profiles before sending fancy a fuck or think that just because I'm online means I want a shag don't do them selves any favours but the guys who do read profile and send me a message that is original and well written defiantly stand out from the others with me x |
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By *r ManxMan
over a year ago
NeverWhere |
Is their no way off getting these multiple abusive single male trolls band from the site something like three complaints with evidence and your band ? This would I hope free up some time for us nice guys to shine ! |
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By *ypfunWoman
over a year ago
Cyprus |
I must admit I usually reply to all messages, even the crap really short ones, my parents taught me to be polite! I've never had any rude messages back yet - hopefully they realise I answered instead of deleting! |
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"I must admit I usually reply to all messages, even the crap really short ones, my parents taught me to be polite! I've never had any rude messages back yet - hopefully they realise I answered instead of deleting!"
Good for you, wish everyone had your manners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must admit I usually reply to all messages, even the crap really short ones, my parents taught me to be polite! I've never had any rude messages back yet - hopefully they realise I answered instead of deleting!"
Maybe the fact your in cyprus means they don't have much expectation and therefore aren't crushed when you say no.. Where as us who are local to them are meant to drop our knickers cos they message us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single male I'm always appreciative to receive a reply even if its a 'no thank you' - n I usually drop a quick 'thanks for the courtesy of a reply ' bak. Sending a load of abuse is absolutely unnecessary n defo ain't gonna help the situation. Nor does it incline people to bother sending anything at all if they keep being on the receiving end of abuse.
Like any sort of 'shopping' we all seek someone we hope to b compatible with. |
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