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Tricky situation!
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So I'm in a bit of a tricky situation and I was wondering if anyone has any (constructive) advice. I'm in a great relationship but I'm on here because there are a couple of facets to my 'turn-ons' that I'm just not comfortable discussing with my other half. I'm sure many will regard me as weird but I'm rather turned on by women's farts. So I've created a profile on here and tried to explain my situation as best I can.
My problem is, because of my need to be totally discreet I can't upload face pics on here, nor do I want to upload pictures of just my cock, which I think most women would find a turn off (not my cock of course, the presence of pictures of it!). I'm photo-verified and I'm polite and well spoken but I rarely get replies, especially from females. Now I'm sure the farts thing puts a lot off as it conjures images of a fat sweaty man wanking behind his computer (which I am very definitely not!) but I was under the impression that this is a very open minded community, does anyone have any helpful suggestions? |
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Well in regards to the photo thing I'm sure there is more to you than your face and cock??
As for the farting thing... I had a message from a guy into similar a few days ago, maybe you could fart on each other??   |
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Haha thanks but the farting thing only applies to you ladies! Yes maybe I need to think more creatively! Difficult though, I'm quite self conscious about my body... I do have good legs though! Maybe a sexy leg! Haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ms here. I like to see erotic pics. Shirt unbuttoned, tie loosened, nice chest or bum pic that kind of thing. Cock pics are boring imo. Try not to worry about being body conscious. Personality counts for more with a lot of ladies. Good luck. |
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HA! oh the irony, I'm not sure ladies would see a picture of an arse as my profile picture and think "hey who's this guy?" The beans are an option though...  I can see where this thread is heading... down the toilet (thought I'd get it in before anyone else!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"HA! oh the irony, I'm not sure ladies would see a picture of an arse as my profile picture and think "hey who's this guy?" The beans are an option though... I can see where this thread is heading... down the toilet (thought I'd get it in before anyone else!)"
Seriously bud - have you never seen the reaction when Funky Monkey posts in a forum thread?
Knickers get moist and start warming ankles across the land - and there's never anything on show BUT his bum!! 
*except of course on a Thursday! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"phew!
I thought with that user name that you had a fetish for balding American billionaires in bad wigs.
"
Or perma-tanned, fame hungry, shopaholic, tall blondes who've been under the knife more times than a chessemongers most used cheesboard! |
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Haha thanks folks! Oh what a burden it is to find something like this such a turn on! But seriously, do people think a picture of my bottom is a good idea? (All be it an excellent bottom if I do say so myself!) I think i need to be creative, ladies already run a mile at the thought of it so I need to tackle it in a sensitive way... or am I just thinking about it too much? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While I certainly don't want to put you off this site, your kink is a little unusual and I'd have thought you may have difficulty meeting your needs on here.
Of course I could be wrong and in fact *I* could be the odd one out in not being turned on by passing gas.
You might be better served looking at sites that cater to more unusual fetishes. You could try googling fetlife as a starting point?
Good luck whatever. |
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Thanks Jenny,
It is an odd one, the problem with other fetish sites is from past experience they seem to be focused mainly on (what I consider) the more hardcore stuff. I'm not into bondage, I don't like being humiliated and I'm certainly not into pain. Without going into too much detail, for me it's about the intimacy and naughtiness surrounding it. The very fact that 'girls don't fart' is part of why I like it.
Either way, I think I'll relax about it, I'm sure someone will pop up at some point, even if they're not necessarily into the same thing. Everyone here seems lovely and very open minded otherwise I'd have been chased away with pitchforks already! |
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"Thanks Jenny,
It is an odd one, the problem with other fetish sites is from past experience they seem to be focused mainly on (what I consider) the more hardcore stuff. I'm not into bondage, I don't like being humiliated and I'm certainly not into pain. Without going into too much detail, for me it's about the intimacy and naughtiness surrounding it. The very fact that 'girls don't fart' is part of why I like it.
Either way, I think I'll relax about it, I'm sure someone will pop up at some point, even if they're not necessarily into the same thing. Everyone here seems lovely and very open minded otherwise I'd have been chased away with pitchforks already!"
Lol. I'm not into the whole fet scene really but give me a leather gimp suit, ball gag and a good thrashing any day of the week. My ex farted in my face one. So I punched him in the balls. He never did it again!! Lol.
OP I don't fancy your chances much but hope you find what your looking for. |
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I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable discussing this with your partner but the greatest compliment you can pay a loved one in my opinion is to make yourself vulnerable to them. Have you got reason to think she would baulk at this because I feel it would be far better for you and your relationship if you could at least try and include her in it. Otherwise I forsee a lifetime of secrecy ahead of you. |
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You do speak the truth, Sadly my gf is very 'vanilla' it took me a year to ease her into letting me give her oral so I think dropping something like this on her could ruin what we have. I know a lifetime of secrecy isn't ideal and could be damaging, but for the moment, I think it's the only option. Maybe one day I'll come clean! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"HA! oh the irony, I'm not sure ladies would see a picture of an arse as my profile picture and think "hey who's this guy?" The beans are an option though... I can see where this thread is heading... down the toilet (thought I'd get it in before anyone else!)
Seriously bud - have you never seen the reaction when Funky Monkey posts in a forum thread?
Knickers get moist and start warming ankles across the land - and there's never anything on show BUT his bum!!
*except of course on a Thursday! "
Why what happens on Thursdays? Will check tomorow  |
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"You do speak the truth, Sadly my gf is very 'vanilla' it took me a year to ease her into letting me give her oral so I think dropping something like this on her could ruin what we have. I know a lifetime of secrecy isn't ideal and could be damaging, but for the moment, I think it's the only option. Maybe one day I'll come clean! "
This is not a judgement or criticism of you just trying to be constructive but you might want to think about the long term effects this will have on you and your relationship not to mention your partner. If you were willing to spend a year getting her to accept oral sex couldn't you make a start on this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex farted in my face one. So I punched him in the balls. He never did it again!! Lol. "
My ex farted once while I was going down on her. The shock wave broke my jaw in three places and I lost a tooth. |
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"You do speak the truth, Sadly my gf is very 'vanilla' it took me a year to ease her into letting me give her oral so I think dropping something like this on her could ruin what we have. I know a lifetime of secrecy isn't ideal and could be damaging, but for the moment, I think it's the only option. Maybe one day I'll come clean!
This is not a judgement or criticism of you just trying to be constructive but you might want to think about the long term effects this will have on you and your relationship not to mention your partner. If you were willing to spend a year getting her to accept oral sex couldn't you make a start on this?"
No I appreciate your input, I totally get where you're coming from, it's not something I could just come out with, I'd have to go for a very gentle approach! It's not totally out of the question though... sometimes I wish I had a fetish for shoes or s&m! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex farted in my face one. So I punched him in the balls. He never did it again!! Lol.
My ex farted once while I was going down on her. The shock wave broke my jaw in three places and I lost a tooth."
|
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"My ex farted in my face one. So I punched him in the balls. He never did it again!! Lol.
My ex farted once while I was going down on her. The shock wave broke my jaw in three places and I lost a tooth."
Lol!! My coffee just came out my nose x |
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"So I'm in a bit of a tricky situation and I was wondering if anyone has any (constructive) advice. I'm in a great relationship but I'm on here because there are a couple of facets to my 'turn-ons' that I'm just not comfortable discussing with my other half. I'm sure many will regard me as weird but I'm rather turned on by women's farts. So I've created a profile on here and tried to explain my situation as best I can.
My problem is, because of my need to be totally discreet I can't upload face pics on here, nor do I want to upload pictures of just my cock, which I think most women would find a turn off (not my cock of course, the presence of pictures of it!). I'm photo-verified and I'm polite and well spoken but I rarely get replies, especially from females. Now I'm sure the farts thing puts a lot off as it conjures images of a fat sweaty man wanking behind his computer (which I am very definitely not!) but I was under the impression that this is a very open minded community, does anyone have any helpful suggestions? "
I thought women NEVER farted. Virtually all the women I know will never admit to farting  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"HA!
Hmm, I feel it's not fair to discriminate against any particular expulsion, but I must say I do have rather a penchant for the modest cheeky 'toot' as opposed to a 'spluttering bumsplosion' "
I see...more of a fan of a modest bottom burping poot?
How about the smell? Suphurous eggy or the ones that smell like the bins at the back of the Co-Op? |
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"Haha, the smell is a tricky one, it depends entirely on my mood... and a woman's dietary preferences...
"
I have to say OP, all credit to you for posting this thread in the first place and even more credit to you for taking the jokes and general ribbing on the chin! Xx |
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Ah I'm a tough cookie and I'm very easy going, one never get's anywhere by taking things to heart and too seriously! It's all good fun and everyone seems nice enough! I was worried that I'd just get a tonne of abuse and chased from here by an angry mob with pitchforks! Thankfully it's actually being very helpful... otherwise I'd fly like the wind... |
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"Ah I'm a tough cookie and I'm very easy going, one never get's anywhere by taking things to heart and too seriously! It's all good fun and everyone seems nice enough! I was worried that I'd just get a tonne of abuse and chased from here by an angry mob with pitchforks! Thankfully it's actually being very helpful... otherwise I'd fly like the wind..."
Haha!! Well I'm glad it's gone well x |
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I think you would be better served on a bona fide fetish site...but good luck finding what you seek.
There was a bloke on a forum on another site Im on with exactly the same thing but his fetish was 'smell specific' |
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Wow, 'smell-specific'? I'm far less picky! I'm just a bit scared of proper fetish sites, because my 'thing' is in no way related to bdsm or any of the 'traditional' kinks. I'm just looking for a normal bit of fun where the odd fart is invited to the party! (By that I don't mean geriatrics...) |
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If I were you I would start making your girlfriends dinner using lots of beans, cabbage etc. if she lets one rip then just laugh about it and say I bet you can't do that again. Just build it up from there eventually getting to the god you will think I'm crazy but your actually turning me on doing that. |
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"A fetish site is just that....for fetishes of which BDSM is simply one of thousands.
There are BDSM sites also but the well known fet site is like Facebook for kinksters "
Ah cool, I might give it a try to keep my options open! Thanks! |
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"If I were you I would start making your girlfriends dinner using lots of beans, cabbage etc. if she lets one rip then just laugh about it and say I bet you can't do that again. Just build it up from there eventually getting to the god you will think I'm crazy but your actually turning me on doing that. "
Haha, well its funny you should say that, because I do encourage her to let rip as much as I can, it's just building up the courage to admit the effect it has on me! |
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"If I were you I would start making your girlfriends dinner using lots of beans, cabbage etc. if she lets one rip then just laugh about it and say I bet you can't do that again. Just build it up from there eventually getting to the god you will think I'm crazy but your actually turning me on doing that.
Haha, well its funny you should say that, because I do encourage her to let rip as much as I can, it's just building up the courage to admit the effect it has on me!"
Every time she lets go kiss her or touch her. You could try to condition her into thinking she is getting love and attention when she does it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable discussing this with your partner but the greatest compliment you can pay a loved one in my opinion is to make yourself vulnerable to them. Have you got reason to think she would baulk at this because I feel it would be far better for you and your relationship if you could at least try and include her in it. Otherwise I forsee a lifetime of secrecy ahead of you. "
 ... and possible one of trapped wind too....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont you worry one might make you gag ?
"
maybe that all part of it ...... you do read about some fetishes that are very different and I think how could people be into them . It would really make me gag if I had a man doing this when having fun and if I ever god for bid pass wind I would feel bad , lol And put me right off sex , would be a killer . |
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"Do fanny farts count ? if so get your girlfriend to do doggy
I do love a good fanny fart yeah and doggy does always have a good effect! Oh so many options..."
Ah...well now Im confused....is it the sound your turned on by or the smell
Two different fetishes there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do fanny farts count ? if so get your girlfriend to do doggy
I do love a good fanny fart yeah and doggy does always have a good effect! Oh so many options...
Ah...well now Im confused....is it the sound your turned on by or the smell
Two different fetishes there "
And if it the sound I know someone that can make themselves fanny fart and no its not me lol |
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To answer a few questions... it's difficult to explain, I admit I do like the smell IF it's from someone I find attractive, I like the sound too, but it's both and neither that are the thing that actually turns me on. I like that as a rule, girls don't fart, but when they do, I find it cheeky and naughty. I like women to be ladylike and feminine but relaxed enough to let one rip if they know it turns me on. It's not about being submissive, or being humiliated or anything like that. It's just a bit naughty and a bit dirty and that's what get's me going ladies and gents! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not sure its a serious one tbh....but lets roll with it  "
well going on the OP name on his profile he loves it . It takes all sorts .. and we cant all like same things now can we be as boring as hell if we did .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha, the smell is a tricky one, it depends entirely on my mood... and a woman's dietary preferences...
I have to say OP, all credit to you for posting this thread in the first place and even more credit to you for taking the jokes and general ribbing on the chin! Xx "
I was just thinking exactly the same thing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ms here. I like to see erotic pics. Shirt unbuttoned, tie loosened, nice chest or bum pic that kind of thing. Cock pics are boring imo. Try not to worry about being body conscious. Personality counts for more with a lot of ladies. Good luck."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been well amused at this thread in a funny way and very pleased at the lovely way everyone has treated the op, I have a few times farted little toots with well known guys and although slightly embarrassed at the time it has never stopped me, it's a natural body function and if the op gets a kick out of it all well and good I say! Good luck finding a girl to help u and also telling ur oh, try looking up the episode of the Big Bang theory where Sheldon uses positive reinforcement on penny to modify her behaviour, it's hilarious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must say, thanks to the folks on here, I really didn't expect such a decent reaction! Thanks!"
OP you got a decent reaction because you set out your stall without a hint of arrogance, stupidity, attitude, moaning or whingeing. You just played it straight, and people reacted to it positively in the main.
Always makes me grin at some of the topics which result in an open and in-depth discussion on here.... and Farts? who'd have thought it..???
Can't wait for your next thread... Lol!
Ted |
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"Is it particularly erotic if the lady does a particularly wet sharty one?
Or are you more into the Krakatoa thunder clap type?"
Dunno about anything else, but I have just gone one further than a fart my sides are splitting so much..... |
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