FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Sub/Dom and bondage

Sub/Dom and bondage

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi there, im finding myself more and more curious about the Sub/Dom scene and bondage but im unsure where to start, any advice from those who know about this kind of thing?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you sub or Dom? Have you any experience?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Im totally new to it. (Bar a little hand tying) I am not really sure to be honest wanted to try both sides of it but just unsure how to start.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Find someone you can build up a rapport and trust with and explore slowly at your own pace. Always have a safety word and discuss any limits you think you may have.

Communication and trust is imperative. Good luck and remember have fun!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Find someone you can build up a rapport and trust with and explore slowly at your own pace. Always have a safety word and discuss any limits you think you may have.

Communication and trust is imperative. Good luck and remember have fun!!

I have to say that I think safeword play should only be encouraged between people who are experienced. My current Dominant and I have only recently brought safeword play into our relationship.

You must be able to trust the person you're with. I actually think one of the best things to do is to get yourself to a local munch (BDSM social) and watch displays.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nkySwitchTV/TS over a year ago

Stirling

"Find someone you can build up a rapport and trust with and explore slowly at your own pace. Always have a safety word and discuss any limits you think you may have.

Communication and trust is imperative. Good luck and remember have fun!!

I have to say that I think safeword play should only be encouraged between people who are experienced. My current Dominant

and I have only recently brought safeword play into our relationship.

You must be able to trust the person you're with. I actually think one of the best things to do is to get yourself to a local munch (BDSM social) and watch displays.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Me and my OH enjoy elements of sub dom play, although we are by no means experts in the scene.

We enjoy expermenting with play, role play, pain, electrplay etc. Reading each others body language and ensuring we are both happy with what is happenin.

We do have a safe word but its ever been used. I cant see the harm in having a word that brings you both out of the moment.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We do have a safe word but its ever been used. I cant see the harm in having a word that brings you both out of the moment."

I agree with you Evie, but you and letsbe have been together a while. My concern with people who are green or new to a relationship having a safeword is because in a safeword environment, no doesn't mean no.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We do have a safe word but its ever been used. I cant see the harm in having a word that brings you both out of the moment.

We've never had a safeword. We just know and trust each other. When we play with someone new I always check what they will and won't do. Never had a safeword with new people either.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

"Hi there, im finding myself more and more curious about the Sub/Dom scene and bondage but im unsure where to start, any advice from those who know about this kind of thing?"

try thistle shoes

bed of nails

sandpaper showers

rainy day t-shirts

spons for forks

forks for knives

knifes for spoons

a bat for self-flagellation

empty bottle of lube

a gargantuan dildo

a contract

and horse hair underware

Get these sorted and youll be well on the way

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We do have a safe word but its ever been used. I cant see the harm in having a word that brings you both out of the moment.

We've never had a safeword. We just know and trust each other. When we play with someone new I always check what they will and won't do. Never had a safeword with new people either. "

Its a strange one - I'm a bit of a bitch for saying no and not meaning it with my Dominant (its part of our play that we really enjoy) so for us a safeword works really well. I've never used it, I haven't needed to, but I know that if push comes to shove I can say it and I'll be out of the scene.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We do have a safe word but its ever been used. I cant see the harm in having a word that brings you both out of the moment.

We've never had a safeword. We just know and trust each other. When we play with someone new I always check what they will and won't do. Never had a safeword with new people either.

We always behave when it's our turn to be sub.

Suppose that's just the way we play though. He knows when I'm not happy and he's always stopped.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We do have a safe word but its ever been used. I cant see the harm in having a word that brings you both out of the moment.

We've never had a safeword. We just know and trust each other. When we play with someone new I always check what they will and won't do. Never had a safeword with new people either.

We always behave when it's our turn to be sub.

Suppose that's just the way we play though. He knows when I'm not happy and he's always stopped. "

Ahh see I'm a lifestyle sub, there's no Domme in me, never switch!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We do have a safe word but its ever been used. I cant see the harm in having a word that brings you both out of the moment.

We've never had a safeword. We just know and trust each other. When we play with someone new I always check what they will and won't do. Never had a safeword with new people either.

We always behave when it's our turn to be sub.

Suppose that's just the way we play though. He knows when I'm not happy and he's always stopped. "

Whenever I have played D/s play I have had a safeword but never used it...having it does put me at ease though as I know that if I do need to escape a scene it's there as a back up plan.

OP - Fet is a good site for speaking to people with similar kinks and fantasies and maybe exploring some of yours, but the main benefit to it is the Munch listings so you can get out and meet local people too.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As mentioned join a more fetish site, and attend munch's and events in the area, or travel out.

Do some read up on the scene theres plenty of decent ish books out there and a lot of the fet sites have write ups on there pages.

Wont get into the debate over safe words or not, but what we do think is you should know that person before play happens and talk about limits, hard limits, what you both want from the experience.

We use a safe word well a few to be honest, like amber so she lets me know im close to her limit so instead of stopping play I will take it down a notch or change area to give a break and safes us stopping the scene, though I do try to push her boundaries but we haven't gone too far with each other, while we are learning to understand her body reactions etc

Then our stop safe word is a simple red.

But we cant stress enough to go out on the scene and play at events, venues pick up tips at demo's munch's first,

we find the whole idea of meeting strangers and putting trust into someone you don't know to be a very dangerous risk.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nkySwitchTV/TS over a year ago

Stirling

Nods @ collared sins

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks everyone, very helpful!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *pecifically1Woman over a year ago

Hull

"Thanks everyone, very helpful! "

Do research,..read.....get on other sites such as though mentioned above. take your time, there is no rush to figure out whether you are Dom/sub/switch

Munches are always good...

don't rush.....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

I've never had a safe word with any of my subs, they've trusted me and I've never betrayed that trust.

What do you want: control or relinquish control? There are so many variables it takes time to find out what your boundaries are.

There are "specialist" sites you can use, but beware of wannabes and the sadistic...unless that's your thing!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

"I've never had a safe word with any of my subs, they've trusted me and I've never betrayed that trust.

What do you want: control or relinquish control? There are so many variables it takes time to find out what your boundaries are.

There are "specialist" sites you can use, but beware of wannabes and the sadistic...unless that's your thing!"

One of the most reasoned replies I've ever seen on the subject.

Nice.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *atelotmanMan over a year ago

Chatham

I agree make sur you have a safe word an always repect the others limit.Ive been a Dom for year an have at all times repected limits

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *obbywizzMan over a year ago

Dunstable

But what if there mouths full .......

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eavenNhellCouple over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"But what if there mouths full .......

"
put some thing in there hand like a bell or a bunch of keys they can make a noise with should they need to safeword

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am Sub and would love to meet someone that's experienced in bondage and needs a Sub.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic