FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Mistress???
Mistress???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi Fellow Fabsters.
I need some help please so I thought this would be the best place to come for some advice.
I have never done the 'Mistress' thing but one of my regulars wants me to be his Mistress next time I go to see him and I just wondered if anyone could let me know what's to be expected because I don't have a clue.
I don't want to do anything too heavy for the first time though please.
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"what can I help you with , lol is he into bdsm, does he like to be bound "
I'm not sure. He just said he wants me to instruct him. I don't think he'll be into bdsm....I wouldn't want to do that straight off anyway. Sorry. It really is all new to me xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ask him what he wants you to do. He might be thinking of something tame... or something really extreme. Once you know what he wants you can build on that.
In your sternest voice, tell him to get naked. Tie/ cuff his hands behind him. Blindfold him if you think he'd like that. Then make him tell you in great detail about what he wants you to do to him....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Blindfold him....then ask him to do what YOU want him to do and take it from there
You need to ask him what he has in mind...."
Ok...I'll need to chat to him more I think. Not sure I'm even cut out for it to be honest but I guess there's only one way to find out xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ask him what he wants you to do. He might be thinking of something tame... or something really extreme. Once you know what he wants you can build on that.
In your sternest voice, tell him to get naked. Tie/ cuff his hands behind him. Blindfold him if you think he'd like that. Then make him tell you in great detail about what he wants you to do to him....
"
That sounds like a good idea...thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have to talk about it first off, what things do you want out of it? what does he want out of it? Will it be a regular thing? Will he expect you to be domme all the time you meet, or is there a half and half(switch)? What things does it entail ie, spanking, instructions, tying up, humilation, ? Only when you have talked it through, and he is def serious about doing it all, and if you feel comfy with it, then slowly ease into it, especially if you ave never done it before. I do agree with the post sayin about being stern with the instructions, ... when i've been in charge (although with fems) i've found wearing a black colour throughout, sometimes with a hint of colour to show that you can be strict but with a sexual current underneath. Heels work well, and myself personally concentrate on eye makeup to make sure they can see into your eyes (when you want them to lol) that you mean what you say.
Good luck and hope it goes well.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have to talk about it first off, what things do you want out of it? what does he want out of it? Will it be a regular thing? Will he expect you to be domme all the time you meet, or is there a half and half(switch)? What things does it entail ie, spanking, instructions, tying up, humilation, ? Only when you have talked it through, and he is def serious about doing it all, and if you feel comfy with it, then slowly ease into it, especially if you ave never done it before. I do agree with the post sayin about being stern with the instructions, ... when i've been in charge (although with fems) i've found wearing a black colour throughout, sometimes with a hint of colour to show that you can be strict but with a sexual current underneath. Heels work well, and myself personally concentrate on eye makeup to make sure they can see into your eyes (when you want them to lol) that you mean what you say.
Good luck and hope it goes well. "
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to talk about it first off, what things do you want out of it? what does he want out of it? Will it be a regular thing? Will he expect you to be domme all the time you meet, or is there a half and half(switch)? What things does it entail ie, spanking, instructions, tying up, humilation, ? Only when you have talked it through, and he is def serious about doing it all, and if you feel comfy with it, then slowly ease into it, especially if you ave never done it before. I do agree with the post sayin about being stern with the instructions, ... when i've been in charge (although with fems) i've found wearing a black colour throughout, sometimes with a hint of colour to show that you can be strict but with a sexual current underneath. Heels work well, and myself personally concentrate on eye makeup to make sure they can see into your eyes (when you want them to lol) that you mean what you say.
Good luck and hope it goes well. "
That's a great point. OP- wear something that you feel good in. You need to feel confident to be confident. Maybe run some ideas through in your head so that you have a sort of plan of what you will do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have to talk about it first off, what things do you want out of it? what does he want out of it? Will it be a regular thing? Will he expect you to be domme all the time you meet, or is there a half and half(switch)? What things does it entail ie, spanking, instructions, tying up, humilation, ? Only when you have talked it through, and he is def serious about doing it all, and if you feel comfy with it, then slowly ease into it, especially if you ave never done it before. I do agree with the post sayin about being stern with the instructions, ... when i've been in charge (although with fems) i've found wearing a black colour throughout, sometimes with a hint of colour to show that you can be strict but with a sexual current underneath. Heels work well, and myself personally concentrate on eye makeup to make sure they can see into your eyes (when you want them to lol) that you mean what you say.
Good luck and hope it goes well.
That's a great point. OP- wear something that you feel good in. You need to feel confident to be confident. Maybe run some ideas through in your head so that you have a sort of plan of what you will do. "
Got the outfit sorted. That's what started it. He saw one of my new pics in a black PVC outfit   |
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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago
warwickshire |
One of your "regulars"? WTF??? Do you have a round?
Erm, anyway, if you really are at a loss how to proceed, that's not going to change just like that, you won't suddenly become a stern Domme when you put on a PVC dress. It's either within you, waiting to be released...or it's not.
One of the worst things is someone trying to play a part for which they have no natural inclination, BOTH parties end up disappointed and embarrassed. You need to sit down with him first and discuss what floats his boat, limits etc, then work on it from there.
He may just like the PVC look and want to say "Yes Mistress" a couple of times before ripping your knickers off and fucking you. If he tried that with any of the Mistresses I know, his knackers would be floating past the International Space Station very shortly after he touched her.
Failing that, buy some urethral sounds, a violet wand, some of Dr Pinch's CBT equipment, some restraints, a selection of hitty things and tell him to get on his fucking knees, NOW. Just don't ask him if that's what he meant, and if he's ok with it. You might find you are a natural...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One of your "regulars"? WTF??? Do you have a round?
Erm, anyway, if you really are at a loss how to proceed, that's not going to change just like that, you won't suddenly become a stern Domme when you put on a PVC dress. It's either within you, waiting to be released...or it's not.
One of the worst things is someone trying to play a part for which they have no natural inclination, BOTH parties end up disappointed and embarrassed. You need to sit down with him first and discuss what floats his boat, limits etc, then work on it from there.
He may just like the PVC look and want to say "Yes Mistress" a couple of times before ripping your knickers off and fucking you. If he tried that with any of the Mistresses I know, his knackers would be floating past the International Space Station very shortly after he touched her.
Failing that, buy some urethral sounds, a violet wand, some of Dr Pinch's CBT equipment, some restraints, a selection of hitty things and tell him to get on his fucking knees, NOW. Just don't ask him if that's what he meant, and if he's ok with it. You might find you are a natural... "
Thank you! I'll let you know how it goes. And I only have a couple of regulars lol |
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"One of your "regulars"? WTF??? Do you have a round?
Erm, anyway, if you really are at a loss how to proceed, that's not going to change just like that, you won't suddenly become a stern Domme when you put on a PVC dress. It's either within you, waiting to be released...or it's not.
One of the worst things is someone trying to play a part for which they have no natural inclination, BOTH parties end up disappointed and embarrassed. You need to sit down with him first and discuss what floats his boat, limits etc, then work on it from there.
He may just like the PVC look and want to say "Yes Mistress" a couple of times before ripping your knickers off and fucking you. If he tried that with any of the Mistresses I know, his knackers would be floating past the International Space Station very shortly after he touched her.
Failing that, buy some urethral sounds, a violet wand, some of Dr Pinch's CBT equipment, some restraints, a selection of hitty things and tell him to get on his fucking knees, NOW. Just don't ask him if that's what he meant, and if he's ok with it. You might find you are a natural... "
 .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can find a worth of information in the net , im a submissive ... And I frequently have to research topics given to me , google is a great thing ,
But comunication between u both is essential ...
Have fun , sounds like a new experience for u both enjoy xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You can find a worth of information in the net , im a submissive ... And I frequently have to research topics given to me , google is a great thing ,
But comunication between u both is essential ...
Have fun , sounds like a new experience for u both enjoy xxx "
Thank you xxx |
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Hmm.. Whatever you do don't show that you don't know what to do.. If at any moment you don't know what to do, just stay quiet and think on your own. Keep him waiting, as if its part of the game..
With Vince, I tend to do whatever he's done to me..
Just be confident. He can't complain since it was his idea in the first place.. So just Domme him!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hmm.. Whatever you do don't show that you don't know what to do.. If at any moment you don't know what to do, just stay quiet and think on your own. Keep him waiting, as if its part of the game..
With Vince, I tend to do whatever he's done to me..
Just be confident. He can't complain since it was his idea in the first place.. So just Domme him! "
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