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Enjoy swinging but not sex clubs?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi all.

Me and my partner recently visited a sex club but I (the man) could not get into it at all. What put me off was people who I didn't find attractive watching us (and having sex close to us) and I don't mean that in a nasty way as I'm no oil painting, we are all different body shapes and we all have a right to be there etc. its just when we have private meets it's with people who we find attractive.

Does anyone else feel this way and is there advise that would help the situation as the club scene would suit our situation better. Thanks all.

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By *otwifeHunter808Man over a year ago

Bury

"Hi all.

Does anyone else feel this way and is there advise that would help the situation as the club scene would suit our situation better. Thanks all. "
'now what u mean was at a place the other day and some strange men looking at me ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most clubs have private rooms too: choose one of these with the people you would like to play with. Not everyone likes being watched. You make your rules for you.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I agree with the above. I (f) am not comfortable in group situations I would go so far as to say it turns me right off so a private situation is much more suitable for us. In my opinion if you need to force yourself to do something it isn't for you and there are no hard and fast rules about what you should and shouldn't be doing as a swinger.

Enjoy!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not everyone likes clubs or being watched so if its not for you, don't go again, there are however private rooms like someone has said but the unfortunate thing is that wherever you go, there will be people you don't find attractive and there really is nothing you can do about it, its then your choice to play in front of them or not

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We like private meets and clubs, I the male don't mind being watched but like what had already been said most clubs have private play areas, the big plus for us if we arrange to meet people there and we don't always if you don't find them attractive there is always other people to play with and what we've found we night play with people we wouldn't normally look at on fab because they are out of our he range but people in real life can change your opinion do for us it's a win win

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never been to a club for the same kind of reason.

I also don't like the idea of being leered at as a potential shag and guys getting off on the thought of being with me.

Hence I don't have many pics cos I just don't like the idea of guys wanking over them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

totally know what you mean.I am not that into clubs for the same reason.

prefer the intimacy of private meets too

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"totally know what you mean.I am not that into clubs for the same reason.

prefer the intimacy of private meets too"

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By *anSusieCouple over a year ago

Midlothian

You have discovered that you are not an exhibitionist.It's good to try new things to discover what you like and what you don't.

Now it's just a case of playing the way you like but if your partner does enjoy beeing watched than may be compromise by using a closed room with a 2 sided mirror or window on ocasion.

(susie)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it depends on the club and the night, as couples only/bi nights have a very different feel than a night with single guys.

I do most of my meets in clubs and always use private rooms, I dont see the 'men as looking at me for sex' more that I am looking at them for sex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We like private meets and clubs, I the male don't mind being watched but like what had already been said most clubs have private play areas, the big plus for us if we arrange to meet people there and we don't always if you don't find them attractive there is always other people to play with and what we've found we night play with people we wouldn't normally look at on fab because they are out of our he range but people in real life can change your opinion do for us it's a win win "

This.

The chance to meet people is why we use clubs and if you don't like being watched go to a private room.

We love being watched but also nice to have some private time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In my experience there is often not enough private rooms at clubs .as for the mix of people you might find People there that aren't on fab but just swingers in general.I think of you want to be particular who you play with you need to make that clear as the orgy rooms can become a free for all on occasions if your not direct about what who your willing to play with .

Believe it or not we prefer private meets or smaller parties to play at rather than clubs .i think for the same reason the op said you can chose who will be present and who you want to play with or watch.poppyxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We're happy with either smaller parties or home meets with couples generally...we attended a club once before and I hated it...going to try a different one this weekend which has been recommended as much better but if it's not for us, we won't bother again...just because were part of this lifestyle doesn't mean all aspects of it are for us...

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By *riendly foeWoman over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"Most clubs have private rooms too: choose one of these with the people you would like to play with. Not everyone likes being watched. You make your rules for you. "

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By *aveandkate35Couple over a year ago

telford

Like has already been mentioned, do whatever you feel comfortable with

and do try other nights because different nights in the same club can have completely different vibes to them.

We enjoy clubs because of the variety, and like already mentioned, you can end up playing with people you may have blocked on fab!

As for playing next to people you don't find attractive, everyone has their thing, if your in a public room you take your chance with who may pitch up next to you, but there is nothing stopping you, getting up and taking a break, and then going back when the crowds changed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all.

Does anyone else feel this way and is there advise that would help the situation as the club scene would suit our situation better. Thanks all. "

I have gone to sex clubs never played just usually sat in the bar and chatted i like to play in privacy plus to be truthful I have not found any clubs as clean as my bed or my car lol

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

We have tried a couple of clubs and both decided they are just not for us for a few reasons.

Yet we love small private parties..

It can make finding meets more difficult as lots of people (or the ones we are often interested in) will only meet at clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I first went to clubs I was terrified as never been in group situation before and could never find a private room .

But now I have found my fav club where I know a lot of people I don't mind so much . Their policy is only 5 single guys on a play night , and I never feel pressured .I play as single or have one of my male friends with me .

I do remember looking up when I was playing with my fav buddy to see about 5 or 6 blokes in a row , watching us , with their knobs in their hand and laughing to myself at the sight

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all the replies. Some good advise and glad to hear it isn't just me. Meeting loads of new people is the appeal to us but once we've found someone to play with I don't want to be watched by the people we've said no to. Think as whats been said I'm not an exhibitionist to the masses but prefer my smaller gathering. Think we might try some private parties (or organise our own),which has been suggested.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for all the replies. Some good advise and glad to hear it isn't just me. Meeting loads of new people is the appeal to us but once we've found someone to play with I don't want to be watched by the people we've said no to. Think as whats been said I'm not an exhibitionist to the masses but prefer my smaller gathering. Think we might try some private parties (or organise our own),which has been suggested. "

We have a small meet on Friday, come along!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like the social aspect of going to a club, but I don't really like being watched and I'm too damn fussy to just shag someone I've met that night, just because it's there. I would much rather meet someone I've been chatting to and want to meet at a club, get a pvt room, shut the door and explore

However, that's not to say I might not come out of my shell one day, and just bite the bullet, they'd have to be pretty hot tho

I do like to put faces to the names of ppl I've spoken to tho

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do like clubs but I have been in situations where I have felt uncomfy, I like playing in open rooms but that does not mean i will shag any guy who comes in or i'm a open invite and some guys just don't understand that, I have many times got off a bed and left a room mid play because a guy I have not wanted to play with wont take no for a answer and rather than resort to telling him to fuck off and killing everyone elses mood and play because a polite no does not seem to worked I have just left

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like the social aspect of going to a club, but I don't really like being watched and I'm too damn fussy to just shag someone I've met that night, just because it's there. I would much rather meet someone I've been chatting to and want to meet at a club, get a pvt room, shut the door and explore

However, that's not to say I might not come out of my shell one day, and just bite the bullet, they'd have to be pretty hot tho

I do like to put faces to the names of ppl I've spoken to tho

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all.

Does anyone else feel this way and is there advise that would help the situation as the club scene would suit our situation better. Thanks all. "
You can always go in a private room in the clubs if you dont want certain people near to you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hello, as you're both bi, we'd recommend coming down to Chams on a Monday where its a little quieter than some other nights, but still plenty of others to choose from. Private rooms become available on regular basis so you don't need to feel awkward.

Good luck

C&D xx

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By *pen2offersxCouple over a year ago

kettering

Love the club scene but quite agree !

Trouble is you won't get let down when you go to a club - even if the other couple don't turn up you have an agenda for the evening with other people to socialise or play with so the club gets our vote !

Try staying in the social areas until you find someone you like, then sneak off to a private room or take up a defensive position in a quiet corner !!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

organise your own and only invite people you like, that way you know you will be happier

we have been to 3 private house parties and at all we didnt want to play with any of the guests lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've recently started going to clubs and have found a fave as it has a couple of private couples rooms and I do tend to keep the door open but I go on quiet times and its with arranged meets. I'm sure there are plenty of clubs with similar set up so it might be easier to play on less busy days.

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By *avindaWoman over a year ago

North Wales

"I do like clubs but I have been in situations where I have felt uncomfy, I like playing in open rooms but that does not mean i will shag any guy who comes in or i'm a open invite and some guys just don't understand that, I have many times got off a bed and left a room mid play because a guy I have not wanted to play with wont take no for a answer and rather than resort to telling him to fuck off and killing everyone elses mood and play because a polite no does not seem to worked I have just left"

Thats exactly how l feel. Just because are in an open room its not an open invitation. I will decide who l let play.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/05/13 14:48:04]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all.

Does anyone else feel this way and is there advise that would help the situation as the club scene would suit our situation better. Thanks all. "

I thought i was the only one or at lease one of very few people who feel that way....played at sex clubs with an ex but it never was an ideal environment, now even worse that i'm single! I find private meets way more relaxed!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just use the darkrooms, doesnt matter what anyone looks like then

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By *llie RoseWoman over a year ago

By the seaside

I love the club scene. Have to say I prefer it to arranging a one on one meet now a days. I regularly attend a club where there are an assortment of private and open play areas. That way I can go with the flow on how I'm feeling.

This lifestyle is about finding what works for you and swinging is a different thing for each individual.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We also love clubs ,not too fussed about watchers as long as they keep there distance.

I've had to tell a few single guys to back off but most swinging folk know where the lines drawn

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By *llie RoseWoman over a year ago

By the seaside

Voyeur rooms are great. Can be watched but keeping your audience at a non-touching distance. Perfect

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