FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Cold meets
Cold meets
Jump to: Newest in thread
"I like to be sociable and friendly on meets. Why are some people into fuck and go scenarios? Is it a shame or guilt feeling perhaps.
Nice replies only please."
I don't think it's shame or guilt. I'd say people who enjoy 'fuck and go' scenarios are probably quite relaxed in their attitude to sex and are able to enjoy it without negative feelings.
I've always thought that people who insist on 'intimacy' are sometimes trying to make casual sex out to be more meaningful than it actually is in order to subdue feelings of shame.
We like to socialise with our casual partners on a superficial basis but let's not pretend that it makes what we do any better than 'fuck and go'. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I like to be sociable and friendly on meets. Why are some people into fuck and go scenarios? Is it a shame or guilt feeling perhaps.
Nice replies only please."
Preference... I'd say 95% of my meets on fab have been fuck and go.. its fun and works for me. Even as a couple I do prefer club meets where there is no awkward bits after... to be honest it's one reason I prefer club random meets in general. As everyone tends to just wander off.
Ive also never found it cold... just fun and exciting...
Probably works as I don't do 121...
although once had an amazing sexual time with a guy whom I shall never know who he was... and have never met at a club again.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I like to be sociable and friendly on meets. Why are some people into fuck and go scenarios? Is it a shame or guilt feeling perhaps.
Nice replies only please."
For me it’s a protective mechanism. If i don’t get to know the person then there’s no risk of attachment from either side. I had a weird experience a few years back, where a lot of flings started developing feelings for me - I had to “break up” with 4 people in one summer, and I found the whole experience very stressful.
I’d like to say I’m a nice guy, but that also leads to me giving off the wrong signals to people.
So for me no strings now includes no meaningful friendship, unfortunately. (Though of course still polite and chat and open to being friends at a distance). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
People like what they like, some like a cum & go, some are a any holes a goal type and some like more of a connection, none are wrong but some may not be compatible, choose meets wisely.
Personally I'm a friend/connection/attraction is needed to meet kinda person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *irsSubCouple 4 weeks ago
Darlington |
For us it's dependent on the scenario and who we are meeting.
With couples we would tend to have a bit more craic. And with all people in clubs we would tend to be talkative
With single guys you always run the risk that they become too familiar, and hound you after you've met. Plus when we meet single guys it's often to fulfil a specific fantasy, and having a 2 hour chat beforehand isn't the fantasy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I used to have fuck and go meets it worked for me, now after one of my last meets last year went to a guys house we had spoken for weeks about likes and dislikes etc got on great, spoke about what we would like to happen on our meet.. i got there we fucked he came got up got dressed and went to the living room my que to leave all in a was there about 20 mins left feeling used there was nothing about what wed spoke about it was all about him getting his dick wet, i wasnt looking for intamacy or caring or that but a wee bit more than what i got. Ive not met since its made me look at myself in a different light about what i want and how i just felt like a hole for him to use. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lan157Man 4 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"Fuck and go" is what happens in clubs and is acceptable to me. However if I have invited a woman to my home then it's much more than that . Yes it is about exploring connection and sharing ideas and socialising as well as intimacy . When I have been to someone else's house then I take my lead from the other person . Their house their rules etc . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
No guilt or shame for me ...on random meets I just like to get things done,both or more people get what they want...no lingering around etc ...
If I see someone on a more regular basis and you build up a connection that changes the demographic and the desire to experience more ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Each to their own. Those type of meets would never be for me, but I've seen a few couples who like them, because they get the other stuff from their partner.
Also many just use fab as a sex site/hook up now and that's what they like.
Even when I meet with my other half, we always do a social first meet, then arrange another time if there's a mutual interest. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I like to be sociable and friendly on meets. Why are some people into fuck and go scenarios? Is it a shame or guilt feeling perhaps.
Nice replies only please."
Why did you think shame or guilt would be a factor? Genuine question, as I like to understand a perspective. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m being pestered so much for Fuck&Go, it never used to be like this. Like why the hell would I want to? "
can't beat a cuddle afterwards and a conversation I've never understood this fuck and go scenario
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't fancy men but I like to be fucked by them.
I've had good interactions and even made friends.
And... TBF, it's always ended up with some kind of social interaction.
I don't think it's ever been 'fuck and go'
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It all depends what you both want from the situation. I've had meets in the past that have happened after only a couple of messages where I know it'll be a quick encounter. And it was fine. Usually, these are the fiesta, rip each others clothes off and have raw passionate horn filled sex ones.
On the other hand, I've had longer build ups which have been more intimate because I've got to know them better.
Both are fine and are dictated by what both people want. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Agree it’s just what some people like and their choice. You should be able to mostly avoid if chat before meet on what you all like or not. That’s what I do as much prefer longer meets. On occasion a quicky is also fun when in mood for one. Those types of meets usually not from here though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello fabbers, having problems can't seam to find fun on here is it my profile or am I saying the wrong things when I leave messages, for I am not be nasty, just nice ?
Can anyone help me please "
Perhaps start your own thread. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello fabbers, having problems can't seam to find fun on here is it my profile or am I saying the wrong things when I leave messages, for I am not be nasty, just nice ?
Can anyone help me please "
You’re verified this week, so you’re doing something right. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello fabbers, having problems can't seam to find fun on here is it my profile or am I saying the wrong things when I leave messages, for I am not be nasty, just nice ?
Can anyone help me please
You’re verified this week, so you’re doing something right. "
Its a person I met last time I was here but she was the only person that I met |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello fabbers, having problems can't seam to find fun on here is it my profile or am I saying the wrong things when I leave messages, for I am not be nasty, just nice ?
Can anyone help me please
You’re verified this week, so you’re doing something right.
Its a person I met last time I was here but she was the only person that I met "
Keep your replies here, there no need to DM us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello fabbers, having problems can't seam to find fun on here is it my profile or am I saying the wrong things when I leave messages, for I am not be nasty, just nice ?
Can anyone help me please
You’re verified this week, so you’re doing something right.
Its a person I met last time I was here but she was the only person that I met
Keep your replies here, there no need to DM us. "
new to all this i will keep to forum thankyou |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Your question is rather loaded and judgmental op. We very much enjoy our cum and go meets. We find them exciting, raw, and fun. Once our guest has departed the love making between ourselves is very reaffirming and satisfying. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Shame because you are doing something you are not really comfortable with, I have experienced this with new bi guys.
Guilt, perhaps you are cheating on a partner but you want to do it anyway.
Only thoughts folks, please don't crucify me ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Shame because you are doing something you are not really comfortable with, I have experienced this with new bi guys.
Guilt, perhaps you are cheating on a partner but you want to do it anyway.
Only thoughts folks, please don't crucify me !"
You're entitled to your thoughts, there's no need to apologise for them.
People do feel shame and guilt around sex for loads of reasons. It's not something they have control over but I think that people who enjoy one off 'fuck and go' probably feel less shame and guilt than those who need to make it more meaningful.
It's just sex after all and reading too much into casual interactions isn't wise |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't think it's shame or guilt. I'd say people who enjoy 'fuck and go' scenarios are probably quite relaxed in their attitude to sex and are able to enjoy it without negative feelings.
I've always thought that people who insist on 'intimacy' are sometimes trying to make casual sex out to be more meaningful than it actually is in order to subdue feelings of shame.
We like to socialise with our casual partners on a superficial basis but let's not pretend that it makes what we do any better than 'fuck and go'. "
Best response on the thread as far as we're concerned. We don't need (want) intimacy with our playmates, that's why we have each other - fab is about adding extra FUN not feelings.
We've found that there does seem to be a lot of intimacy starved guys on here lately, and personally I don't think this is a healthy place or way of trying to fulfil those needs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I like to be sociable and friendly on meets. Why are some people into fuck and go scenarios? Is it a shame or guilt feeling perhaps.
Nice replies only please."
Yes many here and in clubs like that. We're looking for something regular/frequent and much prefer a 'connection' before getting intimate, seemingly a very rare thing these days  . Maybe some find you're not exactly what they're looking for, a hard pill to swallow... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Shame because you are doing something you are not really comfortable with, I have experienced this with new bi guys.
Guilt, perhaps you are cheating on a partner but you want to do it anyway.
Only thoughts folks, please don't crucify me !"
what are we not comfortable with.... we feel no guilt... most of our liaisons are cum and go... don't even know names half the time but it's fun..
Then on the flip side is our long standing friends
. Some we were intimate with but no longer are.. some we still have fun with from time to time.. some we never have and never will get jiggy with xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Stranger sex is the best sex. And the cum and go situations are the best.
Sex doesn’t have to be an intimate thing, it can just be primal, just raw sucking, licking and fucking.
Everyone has there preference, but I always search for the cum and go type meets, outdoor is even better, but that’s a different story lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't think it's shame or guilt. I'd say people who enjoy 'fuck and go' scenarios are probably quite relaxed in their attitude to sex and are able to enjoy it without negative feelings.
I've always thought that people who insist on 'intimacy' are sometimes trying to make casual sex out to be more meaningful than it actually is in order to subdue feelings of shame.
We like to socialise with our casual partners on a superficial basis but let's not pretend that it makes what we do any better than 'fuck and go'.
Best response on the thread as far as we're concerned. We don't need (want) intimacy with our playmates, that's why we have each other - fab is about adding extra FUN not feelings.
We've found that there does seem to be a lot of intimacy starved guys on here lately, and personally I don't think this is a healthy place or way of trying to fulfil those needs. "
I'd agree with this! I like fuck and go meets- I have my partner and friends for intimacy. I don't need nor want to be friends with those I fuck and I have no shame around causal sex. I have noticed lately though a lot of men- despite saying they are ok with this- do seem to want a little more intimacy and something regular / meaningful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
