FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > where am i going wrong?
where am i going wrong?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, just wondering if anyone can give a dude some tips.
I've been on here a little while not having much luck.
My profile, I thinks looks alright, I don't send one liner messages and never a copy and paste of something generic, I always attach a pic (set one to public this morning though), if I don't get a reply or it gets deleted I just move on and only message those who are looking for someone like me.
Not quite sure where I'm going wrong, guess I'm just an ugly git LOL. The pics there, be honest is that where I'm going wrong? I have masks and a I'm sure I can get hold of a few paper bags just in case LOL.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Profile isn't bad but more pics would help as I'm not getting anything exciting about your profile sorry "
Never be sorry for giving an honest opinion, especially when asked for it x
I thought maybe the pics were lacking but most ask for a clear face pic, guess some body shots will help.
Could you elaborate on why my profile seems a tad boring? What would make it more exciting?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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flatshare is OK (hey i live with my dad ffs lol), but U wont go to clubs?-- now if I was reading between the lines, as a swinger...I'd want to know u can do something social!).. I hope that means that u would be able to meet at a public social place/event... I'd also possibly want to meet u in a club ... as u can acciom at home sometime..it still sounds a bit cagey like u have a partner(regarding the club element)
sounds a bit odd really saying u wont visit clubs and not to ask or ask why?
lastly ur a single white male?..I can see that from ur pic...remember it isnt text ads u find in magazines lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"flatshare is OK (hey i live with my dad ffs lol), but U wont go to clubs?-- now if I was reading between the lines, as a swinger...I'd want to know u can do something social!).. I hope that means that u would be able to meet at a public social place/event... I'd also possibly want to meet u in a club ... as u can acciom at home sometime..it still sounds a bit cagey like u have a partner(regarding the club element)
sounds a bit odd really saying u wont visit clubs and not to ask or ask why?
lastly ur a single white male?..I can see that from ur pic...remember it isnt text ads u find in magazines lol"
The picture was only made public today hence why I've put single white male in the profile.
I don't go to the clubs as they are not what I'm looking for, at the risk of sounding very judgmental to me they are sleazy, oh who am I kidding that is judgemental LOL.
I'm more that happy to meet in other public places like coffee shops, bars, pubs etc although I never drink, I'm just not one for swinger clubs. and sex is not expected on a first meet even though that is why we are all here.
I'm looking for a partnership with someone I get on with, not just to have sex with, sort of like dating but with no intention of a full on relationship.
Spend a night together, a weekend away but only as friends who also Fuck of course.
Is this the wrong place to find something like that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think u should reconsider the club aspect...do u think they thousands that attend them over the country(especially down ur way) are sleazy people?..time to get some balls and do something u havent done before..throw poor judgement out the window
I'd say the very same thing to a couple btw
and ur asking how to increase ur meets..Im saying clubs...socials as my advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you think clubs are sleazy you are obviously going to the wrong ones!!!some are still stuck in the dark ages i admit, they think people still want dark poky little hideaways but those that are modern are not sleazy by any means! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think u should reconsider the club aspect...do u think they thousands that attend them over the country(especially down ur way) are sleazy people?..time to get some balls and do something u havent done before..throw poor judgement out the window
I'd say the very same thing to a couple btw
and ur asking how to increase ur meets..Im saying clubs...socials as my advice"
No clubs, end of.
Look I'll be completely honest here, I've have been to a meet myself a few years back.
When I went, paying £50 for the privilege as I was a single male, One guy had to pull another guy off his wife as he wouldn't take no for an answer, another room had a single lady with a line of men waiting their turn, another had about 6 mattresses on the floor with a pile of oiled up bodies looking like maggots crawling over each other is it hard for some to understand that this is not what I'm looking for?
Nice dirty one on one, maybe a threesome with a nice couple but It's fun at my place, your place or I'll pay for an hotel.
Not asking too much or being unreasonable/unrealistic?
What is the big deal with clubs and your your own worst enemy if you don't go to them.
Think I am on the wrong type of site................. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your not on your own I've tried a couple of clubs and totally not for me. Neither is dogging prefer one on one or a threesome with people I've met socially first. Swinging has a multitude of options not just clubs and quick gang bangs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think u should reconsider the club aspect...do u think they thousands that attend them over the country(especially down ur way) are sleazy people?..time to get some balls and do something u havent done before..throw poor judgement out the window
I'd say the very same thing to a couple btw
and ur asking how to increase ur meets..Im saying clubs...socials as my advice
No clubs, end of.
Look I'll be completely honest here, I've have been to a meet myself a few years back.
When I went, paying £50 for the privilege as I was a single male, One guy had to pull another guy off his wife as he wouldn't take no for an answer, another room had a single lady with a line of men waiting their turn, another had about 6 mattresses on the floor with a pile of oiled up bodies looking like maggots crawling over each other is it hard for some to understand that this is not what I'm looking for?
Nice dirty one on one, maybe a threesome with a nice couple but It's fun at my place, your place or I'll pay for an hotel.
Not asking too much or being unreasonable/unrealistic?
What is the big deal with clubs and your your own worst enemy if you don't go to them.
Think I am on the wrong type of site................."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your not on your own I've tried a couple of clubs and totally not for me. Neither is dogging prefer one on one or a threesome with people I've met socially first. Swinging has a multitude of options not just clubs and quick gang bangs "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your not on your own I've tried a couple of clubs and totally not for me. Neither is dogging prefer one on one or a threesome with people I've met socially first. Swinging has a multitude of options not just clubs and quick gang bangs "
Exactly, I've been told many times I'll get nowhere if I don't go to a club.
I'll wait till I find someone like you closer to me who's looking for someone my age. I'll leave off waxing though, prefur a trim myself waxings a tad painful on the gonads LOL.
Ps lovely boobs and legs.
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Hi all, just wondering if anyone can give a dude some tips.
I've been on here a little while not having much luck.
My profile, I thinks looks alright, I don't send one liner messages and never a copy and paste of something generic, I always attach a pic (set one to public this morning though), if I don't get a reply or it gets deleted I just move on and only message those who are looking for someone like me.
Not quite sure where I'm going wrong, guess I'm just an ugly git LOL. The pics there, be honest is that where I'm going wrong? I have masks and a I'm sure I can get hold of a few paper bags just in case LOL.
"
but then you say.... you don't want to become generic.. but you ask everyone for advice...
the more you then change it based on advice the more generic it will actually become....
the most simple thing i say is this...
if you think your profile reflects you and brings the best out in you... keep it
if not... change it...
no point asking for specifics.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi all, just wondering if anyone can give a dude some tips.
I've been on here a little while not having much luck.
My profile, I thinks looks alright, I don't send one liner messages and never a copy and paste of something generic, I always attach a pic (set one to public this morning though), if I don't get a reply or it gets deleted I just move on and only message those who are looking for someone like me.
Not quite sure where I'm going wrong, guess I'm just an ugly git LOL. The pics there, be honest is that where I'm going wrong? I have masks and a I'm sure I can get hold of a few paper bags just in case LOL.
but then you say.... you don't want to become generic.. but you ask everyone for advice...
the more you then change it based on advice the more generic it will actually become....
the most simple thing i say is this...
if you think your profile reflects you and brings the best out in you... keep it
if not... change it...
no point asking for specifics.... "
I think you misunderstood, I didn't say I don't want to become generic, I said when I send a message to someone I'm intreasted in I send a message to them not a generic message I've sent to ten others where all you have to do is change the name of the recipient.
Asking for advice on what I could add or am failing at is just to get an idea of how to improve the way I express what I'm looking for, what I can offer or just better ways to "sell myself" so to speak. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
only you can do that....
you ask a million and one people... you'll get a million and one answers....
there is no "short cut" to meets.... hate to be blunt, but people seem to think there is some sort of magic formula...
there isn't.....
be open minded (like you weren't before in talking about gangbangs for example... yes people do read what you write in thinking about potential meets!! )
time, patience, common sense... and if you need people to tell you how to sell yourself... then that is only an issue you can deal with.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" What is the big deal with clubs and your your own worst enemy if you don't go to them.
Think I am on the wrong type of site................."
It's your profile and you can use the site as you wish. People keep harping on about socials and clubs in these forums but they're not for everyone! They're not my choice either. I live too far away for a start, the nearest one being nearly two hours away but I prefer 1 on 1 at my home after a social meet in a public place. I'm not knocking clubs or socials, each to their own but I don't think it's a drawback that you don't want to go to them! Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Profile looks fine to me. Maybe some more pics in public might help. Men vastly outnumber women and couples on here so patience is key. Not all ladies on here are looking for regular meets so that will narrow your field down. Good luck and hope you find what you're looking for. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
the point i would make would be a subtle one......
there is a huge difference between trying clubs and socials and then finding they are not for you......... and dismissing them out of hand if you have never been..
irony is for such "open-minded" folks, thats a lots of networking and avenue opening oppotunites being slammed shut before you have even knocked on the doors so to speak........
they are not for everyone...
I see socials as the "behaving like normal people in public" test.... I go to my local and never stay more than an hour usually.... but at least I can put names to faces and profiles..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"only you can do that....
you ask a million and one people... you'll get a million and one answers....
there is no "short cut" to meets.... hate to be blunt, but people seem to think there is some sort of magic formula...
there isn't.....
be open minded (like you weren't before in talking about gangbangs for example... yes people do read what you write in thinking about potential meets!! )
time, patience, common sense... and if you need people to tell you how to sell yourself... then that is only an issue you can deal with...."
So me not liking gangbangs or my opinion on the way that one was set up makes me closed minded? No, it just means I didn't like the look of it and it wasn't for me. The same as the rest of it, each to their own as they say.
That meeting seemed sleazy, at no point did I say the people there or here are sleazy, or that other clubs are sleazy, it was just the set up with that meeting that put me off ever going to another, however I am a strong believer in that we are all free to do as we please the same as we are all free not to do something that doesn't please us.
I don't like gangbangs, I don't like clubs but I think you'll find I'm one of the most open minded people you are ever likely to meet. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I don't like gangbangs, I don't like clubs but I think you'll find I'm one of the most open minded people you are ever likely to meet. "
I agree that someone who doesn't want to go to clubs shouldn't have to go to clubs, but basing an opinion about all clubs on one club is a bit disingenuous. There are so many and they are all so different. What you hated about one might not be the case at another. It might be worth checking out a couple more, then you at least have made a decision on a good cross section.
If you really really don't want to do that, then consider a social. No pressure to play, just a friendly gathering, usually at a pub or vanilla club, where you can chat to other swingers and network. If you get known 'on the scene' then you'll get meets and invites, and off you go!
How you meet is up to you, but you do have to be open-minded for any chance that comes along. If what you are doing now is not working, then you should consider changing it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I may have come across as an advert for getting out to clubs( I rarely attend them anyway), what I was trying to say as in clubs/socials..its about getting to meet people..whether u play or not.A little exposure is what alot of people dont understand helps ur profile in the long run..and thus normally increases the likelihood of people thinking ud be worthy to meet on less people populated terms... its how I started, and I consider myself successful enough.
really only basing it on the original posting..and as I say, I'd say the same to anyone regardless of gender/relationship status, if they feel they arent getting 'enough' of what they want...a change of outlook is as open minded as one should be able to grasp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Where are you going wrong ?
Expecting\ thinking you should have had a shag by now maybe
You most probably have not messaged any women that find you attractive yet which wont help you too much.
On a plus side you have a full face pic which many guys dont have but then that enables women you message to see you before reading your message and deleting if they dont like what they see.
Just keep sending messages, you might find someone willing to meet you, there again you might not, no one can really help you TBH. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Where are you going wrong ?
Expecting\ thinking you should have had a shag by now maybe
You most probably have not messaged any women that find you attractive yet which wont help you too much.
On a plus side you have a full face pic which many guys dont have but then that enables women you message to see you before reading your message and deleting if they dont like what they see.
Just keep sending messages, you might find someone willing to meet you, there again you might not, no one can really help you TBH."
Wasn't expecting a shag by now, lol. Just thought I'd get a few more replies at least. As I said to a member.
Just a case of waiting me thinks, I'm not in a rush just thought that the way I message and do what people request when sending a first message I would receive a few more replies, I've sent out about 20-30 messages(not one liners either) and only had one reply, we had a conversation, I gave my number when asked, got a message saying she wasn't free till the 23rd them her profile read "no longer a site member
Trail and error. |
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