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Wink protocol? Is there an unwritten rule we need to know?
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Just wondering what the consensus is about winks 
We get them and if the profile grabs our interest we’ll wink back. More often than not it kick starts a message to us from the “winker” and chat goes from there, but there are occasions where the same person will send us a wink every few weeks and despite us winking back there is no opening message…
We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.
Anyway, just wondering what others do  |
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"We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird."
Why would you rather not message first?
I may be reading this particular part incorrectly, but it reads as if you are expecting others to make the first move or put that initial effort in.
They could just as easily be expecting the same as you, or are conscious of the amount of messages you get so would rather wink and allow you to initiate conversation if you are really interested
As a side note, I personally think'Thanks for the wink' messages don't really inspire a conversation. |
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"Just wondering what the consensus is about winks
We get them and if the profile grabs our interest we’ll wink back. More often than not it kick starts a message to us from the “winker” and chat goes from there, but there are occasions where the same person will send us a wink every few weeks and despite us winking back there is no opening message…
We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.
Anyway, just wondering what others do "
We get this all the time. Worse is when we decide to message the profile as they also look at us a lot they ignore our message.
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I feel really bad to say it but I don’t check out the winks very often. Like all couples here we get a lot of messages and don’t even have time to read / respond to them all, so winks have no chance  It’s nothing personal at all. |
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"We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.
Why would you rather not message first?
I may be reading this particular part incorrectly, but it reads as if you are expecting others to make the first move or put that initial effort in.
They could just as easily be expecting the same as you, or are conscious of the amount of messages you get so would rather wink and allow you to initiate conversation if you are really interested
As a side note, I personally think'Thanks for the wink' messages don't really inspire a conversation."
Thanks for your insight, it’s exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to get back to challenge our way of thinking, and yes, I reckon we have thought that it’s more of an expectation for the person instigating the wink to then instigate the chat after being given a reciprocal wink if that makes sense 🤷♀️ This is why I’m asking what the general opinion is, because maybe we’re going about it the wrong way.
As for inspiring conversation, when we do make the first chat move we usually follow up the “thanks for the wink” with another question or similar so as to help the other person reply. But maybe we need to think more creatively and would love to hear what you guys do?  |
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"Worse is when we decide to message the profile as they also look at us a lot they ignore our message.
"
This is also a strange thing we find too. Message either goes unread or is read but no reply  |
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By *heelerMan 2 weeks ago
Northants |
"Just wondering what the consensus is about winks
We get them and if the profile grabs our interest we’ll wink back. More often than not it kick starts a message to us from the “winker” and chat goes from there, but there are occasions where the same person will send us a wink every few weeks and despite us winking back there is no opening message…
We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.
Anyway, just wondering what others do "
I think a wink.is a good first step to getting to know people that are interested in you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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If you’re a winker and they wink back then the winker instigating the wink should be the one to commence chat to the initially winked There's no rules though it seems |
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"If you’re a winker and they wink back then the winker instigating the wink should be the one to commence chat to the initially winked There's no rules though it seems "
Loads of “winkers” on Fab it would appear 🤣
But in all seriousness, that’s what we thought too. The initial wink is like an “I’m interested” but maybe not so bold as to just send a message, and the reciprocal wink is like “so are we interested” or “it’s ok, you’ve got the green light to chat” kind of thing.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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"If you’re a winker and they wink back then the winker instigating the wink should be the one to commence chat to the initially winked There's no rules though it seems
Loads of “winkers” on Fab it would appear 🤣
But in all seriousness, that’s what we thought too. The initial wink is like an “I’m interested” but maybe not so bold as to just send a message, and the reciprocal wink is like “so are we interested” or “it’s ok, you’ve got the green light to chat” kind of thing. "
Yep that’s how I would see it as Winks are under estimated imho  |
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I wink, they wink back, I follow up with message which is ignored or I find they’ve sent an unsolicited friend request 🙄
Winks are only useful (in my opinion) if you’re actually going to interact with the person/people who sends them to you and vice versa. Otherwise just don’t bother in the first place. |
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By *WANDTGCouple 2 weeks ago
Borough of Greenwich |
This has occurred numerous times, but we've actually messaged when they've winked, they've read the message and not responded.One couple even messaged again about 5 weeks later. I responded saying I've messaged previously, only to be ignored a second time....that's when we block. |
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"We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.
Why would you rather not message first?
I may be reading this particular part incorrectly, but it reads as if you are expecting others to make the first move or put that initial effort in.
They could just as easily be expecting the same as you, or are conscious of the amount of messages you get so would rather wink and allow you to initiate conversation if you are really interested
As a side note, I personally think'Thanks for the wink' messages don't really inspire a conversation.
Thanks for your insight, it’s exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to get back to challenge our way of thinking, and yes, I reckon we have thought that it’s more of an expectation for the person instigating the wink to then instigate the chat after being given a reciprocal wink if that makes sense 🤷♀️ This is why I’m asking what the general opinion is, because maybe we’re going about it the wrong way.
As for inspiring conversation, when we do make the first chat move we usually follow up the “thanks for the wink” with another question or similar so as to help the other person reply. But maybe we need to think more creatively and would love to hear what you guys do? "
To be honest, I don't think there necessarily is the right way. Receiving winks, for us, has started to border on pointless. We normally just a message to the person right out the gate. I can see it from both sides and I don't think youre wrong by any means. We still check winks but more as a glance than anything.
For us, we have a bit of a system using fabbed photos. If they are liking G's photos, but haven't liked T's, then we know who they are really interested in meeting. Pretty much all winks we get are not because of T's photo, put it that way 😂 |
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"
For us, we have a bit of a system using fabbed photos. If they are liking G's photos, but haven't liked T's, then we know who they are really interested in meeting. Pretty much all winks we get are not because of T's photo, put it that way 😂"
I feel your pain there for sure! 🤣 |
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"
For us, we have a bit of a system using fabbed photos. If they are liking G's photos, but haven't liked T's, then we know who they are really interested in meeting. Pretty much all winks we get are not because of T's photo, put it that way 😂
I feel your pain there for sure! 🤣 "
It’s because us men are visual creatures. This happens on my couples profile too. Some fabs of my girlfriend’s pics are in the 100’s, some of mine on the other hand are lucky to get into double figures |
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"Uh.
I don't look at or send winks.
That's my protocol 💜"
This. Just send me a bloody message. A wink could be for anything. Like the profile, like a picture, want to meet, like an outfit etc etc. |
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I don't see an established protocol but follow my own. I return winks and view standard human interaction to then alternate who's turn it is next.
The next step ought to be a written message. Some fail here for me, by sending a friend request.
If they don't message, my interest reduces. Were they just chancers, flooding locals with winks?
Subsequent winks may or may not get a response. |
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I guess rhe idea is to wink to see if there is a mutual appreciation, if so message. Saves messaging somebody that has no intrest at all. However if it isn't taken rhat way why dont fab just remove the function |
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Winks are... not a waste of time.
I get a lot of winks from people very far away, which I ignore. And a few from people who can't accom and are generally unsuitable. Again, mostly ignored.
But... I do get winks from ideal guys who think that I'm unobtainable for some reason and if they match what I need I will reply and I've made some of my best contacts and meets this way.
Going the other way, I generally wink the same way. People who I kinda match with but I think aren't going to reply back to a message.
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For me it depends on who I am looking at I wink sometimes first to see if there interested as in the past I have sent massages and seen that they have been read but got no reply it not hard to reply with a no thank you |
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"If you’re a winker and they wink back then the winker instigating the wink should be the one to commence chat to the initially winked There's no rules though it seems
Loads of “winkers” on Fab it would appear 🤣
But in all seriousness, that’s what we thought too. The initial wink is like an “I’m interested” but maybe not so bold as to just send a message, and the reciprocal wink is like “so are we interested” or “it’s ok, you’ve got the green light to chat” kind of thing. "
That's pretty much how we use them.
We don't delete them though so if we're not interested but can't be arsed to block or exactly what you described arises...they can't wink again... |
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I'm not a fan of winks, mine are usually from men miles from me who havent read my bio, so I tend to bulk delete them.
I'm quite harsh in that I'll block those who keep winking, despite no response. |
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By *entenTeaCouple 2 weeks ago
Buckley North Wales |
Winking can open up conversations I think it is less intrusive or tricky than open messages. If you are unsure about winking someone either don't or seek guidance from tarrot cards, runes, tealeaves or a Fab Druid. |
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"
For us, we have a bit of a system using fabbed photos. If they are liking G's photos, but haven't liked T's, then we know who they are really interested in meeting. Pretty much all winks we get are not because of T's photo, put it that way 😂"
That's interesting, Ms. L2L may well fab the bloke's photo, when she looks through any couples we are in contact with at that time, but that's likely to be some time after I've sifted through all the fake profiles and picture collectors to arrive at people who might actually want to meet up; which is likely to be some time after I might have fabbed photos of the alluring lady. |
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If someone winks me … I send them a message back thanking them for the wink and then I proceed to make conversation …. If I wink and they wink back …. the same .
Winks have worked for me so I can’t complain |
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"Just wondering what the consensus is about winks
We get them and if the profile grabs our interest we’ll wink back. More often than not it kick starts a message to us from the “winker” and chat goes from there, but there are occasions where the same person will send us a wink every few weeks and despite us winking back there is no opening message…
We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.
Anyway, just wondering what others do
We get this all the time. Worse is when we decide to message the profile as they also look at us a lot they ignore our message.
"
Or what's even worse is they've winked and hidden their profile so you can't wink back or message directly! |
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