FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > how long do u wait?
how long do u wait?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Had a social meet planned 4 today, we messaged several times but hes hardly on line, so left a message with my number on. He came on line and read it, I waited an hour for him to confirm place and time, it was 7pm by then......left a message on line again, waited 15 mins again......so told him to do one! Just had a message saying I was in the shower sorry for trying to get ready....WTF? How long wud u have waited?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Had a social meet planned 4 today, we messaged several times but hes hardly on line, so left a message with my number on. He came on line and read it, I waited an hour for him to confirm place and time, it was 7pm by then......left a message on line again, waited 15 mins again......so told him to do one! Just had a message saying I was in the shower sorry for trying to get ready....WTF? How long wud u have waited? "
You were more patient than i would have been - if he read your message he should have replied as time was marching on by then - not to worry, more fish in the sea! Z |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Had a social meet planned 4 today, we messaged several times but hes hardly on line, so left a message with my number on. He came on line and read it, I waited an hour for him to confirm place and time, it was 7pm by then......left a message on line again, waited 15 mins again......so told him to do one! Just had a message saying I was in the shower sorry for trying to get ready....WTF? How long wud u have waited? "
if he didn't reply to the message shortly after reading it we would have given up. Experience has taught us that people who slow up on replies close to a meet usually pull out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn't have waited til the last minute to arrange a social in the first place.
Confirm yes, but arrange no.
In terms of what you had arranged tho, if my mail had been read and unanswered I would assume it was off.
Why anyone would get a shower b4 replying is beyond me. Sounds like he was buying time maybe after a shitty day and didn't have the heart to say he was tired.
Either way, he could have mailed and said thanks for the message, tough day, just gonna head for the shower ........
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't have waited til the last minute to arrange a social in the first place.
Confirm yes, but arrange no.
In terms of what you had arranged tho, if my mail had been read and unanswered I would assume it was off.
Why anyone would get a shower b4 replying is beyond me. Sounds like he was buying time maybe after a shitty day and didn't have the heart to say he was tired.
Either way, he could have mailed and said thanks for the message, tough day, just gonna head for the shower ........
I think u are right, prob tired or was scared, was his first meet.....but just say so FFS lol....jammies on, wine in hand, masterchef soon, all not lost eh?
"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
I usually sort all that out when Im making the arrangements - say something like 'Ill be logged on at 5, if I havent heard from you by then Ill assume its not happening'. And I leave it at that.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I usually sort all that out when Im making the arrangements - say something like 'Ill be logged on at 5, if I havent heard from you by then Ill assume its not happening'. And I leave it at that.
"
Good tip, tks will use that  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By * Jay69Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
From a different perspective, If I've agreed to meet and arrangements have been agreed and finalised, I know I will be there.
I have had repeated requests (text and PMs) to confirm it's still on.
How many times should one have to say 'Yes, still on as arranged'?
What's reasonable, what's annoying?
Mind you, I know I'm not a timewaster  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Had a social meet planned 4 today, we messaged several times but hes hardly on line, so left a message with my number on. He came on line and read it, I waited an hour for him to confirm place and time, it was 7pm by then......left a message on line again, waited 15 mins again......so told him to do one! Just had a message saying I was in the shower sorry for trying to get ready....WTF? How long wud u have waited? "
If he had read the message but not responded I would have left it and gone and done something else....if he was interested he would have responded straight away... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I think they wait for us to message them something just so they can come back and say 'well I was coming but now I won't!' so now, if they haven't replied or texted confirming then no meet. I block and move on after that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I like to have things arranged before hand but will always send a message a little before to see if its all still going ahead.
He could have dropped you a message or a txt before the shower,id have assumed it was off also |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Now I've got this problem going on now. Was chating with a lady for about an hour or so today (we've talked before) while I was on site delivering, she asked me if I was free tonight and that she wanted to come visit me in my truck. As soon as I read her message I had to get out and help move some stuff, so 20 mins later I replied saying sorry I had to go but yes I'd love to meet up.
Guess what, I got back the 'well your obviously not interested now then' message and blocked !!
What's that all about ?
Three weeks we've been talking and finally plan and have the time to meet and I get that.
Draw a line, move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I refuse to be at another person's beck and call, as I have a life of my own.
I would rather not meet than to meet someone in a hurry, only to regret not having vetted the person thoroughly beforehand.
I usually plan my meets weeks in advance, and ask for confirmation a few days before the meet. If the gent no longer wants to meet, then so be it.
I seldom give second chance.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
usually i chat to someone for quite awhile before arranging a meet, once a meet is finalized i like to stay in touch until we actually meet. They also text me when they are leaving so i know estimated time of arrival. Not to bothered about the contact afterwards, but keeping in touch beforehand is part of the build up for me. I wouldnt dream of arranging to meet someone in a few days time and not being intouch until the given time.
But thats me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"usually i chat to someone for quite awhile before arranging a meet, once a meet is finalized i like to stay in touch until we actually meet. They also text me when they are leaving so i know estimated time of arrival. Not to bothered about the contact afterwards, but keeping in touch beforehand is part of the build up for me. I wouldnt dream of arranging to meet someone in a few days time and not being intouch until the given time.
But thats me"
Now Diamond, I am so glad you have said that, as I have/had a meet arranged for Saturday, I did warn him to stay in touch, as we were speaking before he disappeared previously, to which he replied, most definitely, nothing in the last 7 days! So it looks like I will be cancelling, and yes this was a play meet not just a social one! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had a social meet planned 4 today, we messaged several times but hes hardly on line, so left a message with my number on. He came on line and read it, I waited an hour for him to confirm place and time, it was 7pm by then......left a message on line again, waited 15 mins again......so told him to do one! Just had a message saying I was in the shower sorry for trying to get ready....WTF? How long wud u have waited? "
3 mins 42 seconds.....max. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Firm up on specifics beforehand. WELL beforehand. And the "after a certain time, if i haven't had confirmation from you, then i assume it isn't happening" line is always a good one too.
Although a polite confirmation just before a meet should be second nature to most i feel.
And just to throw this in there, i've seen a similar situation/ story from a guy in the reverse position to this one who got accused of being "pushy" when the couple he was going to meet that night slowed their responses to a crawl (despite logging on and reading them)
That's not a slight, just something to consider. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"If a meet is arranged then repeated requests to confirm it are a bit bunny-boilerish in my opinion. "
But your a couple! It is a bit different when you are single! I wasn't after constant confirmation, just a simple build up to the meet, if they can't be arsed then neither can I, it's the way I do things and my meets are more than aware of it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If a meet is arranged then repeated requests to confirm it are a bit bunny-boilerish in my opinion.
But your a couple! It is a bit different when you are single! I wasn't after constant confirmation, just a simple build up to the meet, if they can't be arsed then neither can I, it's the way I do things and my meets are more than aware of it! "
I was thinking more of an incident that happened when I was single. A social meet was arranged in the West End, and we had spoken on the phone at lunch time on the day of the meet. When I got off the tube, 20 mins before the meet, I had about 10 text messages and 4 increasingly manic voice messages. All in the space of about 45 minutes. The final text message was just a rant. Needless to say I took that as a sign.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
how long does a guy need to 'get ready'
