Hey all just wondering about a problem I have, I've been seeing this girl for a bit now doesn't know I'm on here however we talked about sex one day and she said that she just likes normal sex(me on top and that it) and thinks anything else is just a performance..I didn't know ow what to say so just agreed how do I bring up that I'd want more that just me on top  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In my experience setting out on an ideally permanent relationship where there is a fundamental sexual incompatibility is a fools errand. It will come back to bite you later no matter how lovely the person is. Trust me, been there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Why did you agree if you actually don't? Now she thinks you're happy with how she likes things and you're not. Now you're talking to strangers about her instead of clearing up this misunderstanding.
Revisit the conversation, tell her you agreed because you didn't want to upset the apple cart but you won't be happy long term with how she likes sex and is there any way you can work things out together.
Do you want to continue swinging? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
What's wrong with a bit of performance?
Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, it's supposed to be fun.
If aliens don't exist as far as we know we're the only species in existence for whom the act of procreation is enjoyable so why the hell not enjoy the damn thing?
perform for each other, have fun, have a laugh.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *hirleyMan 8 hours ago
somewhere |
"What's wrong with a bit of performance?
Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, it's supposed to be fun.
If aliens don't exist as far as we know we're the only species in existence for whom the act of procreation is enjoyable so why the hell not enjoy the damn thing?
perform for each other, have fun, have a laugh.
"
Think there's other mammals that fuck for pleasure, think dolphins are one that springs to mind, but don't quote. Not to mention the other ape species. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey all just wondering about a problem I have, I've been seeing this girl for a bit now doesn't know I'm on here however we talked about sex one day and she said that she just likes normal sex(me on top and that it) and thinks anything else is just a performance..I didn't know ow what to say so just agreed how do I bring up that I'd want more that just me on top "
Your mistake was that you "just agreed" with her in the first place. Your obviously dissatisfied and should have talked about it and found out why she had that outlook. If you say anything now she's likely to ask why you've never said anything about it before, which could put you on the back foot and make things awkward depending how deep your feelings are for her. If something not right for you it's always best to sort things out in the early stages of a relationship before getting in too deep. Lifes too short for living in a relationship your not happy in or a partner you can't be honest with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hirleyMan 7 hours ago
somewhere |
"Hey all just wondering about a problem I have, I've been seeing this girl for a bit now doesn't know I'm on here however we talked about sex one day and she said that she just likes normal sex(me on top and that it) and thinks anything else is just a performance..I didn't know ow what to say so just agreed how do I bring up that I'd want more that just me on top
Your mistake was that you "just agreed" with her in the first place. Your obviously dissatisfied and should have talked about it and found out why she had that outlook. If you say anything now she's likely to ask why you've never said anything about it before, which could put you on the back foot and make things awkward depending how deep your feelings are for her. If something not right for you it's always best to sort things out in the early stages of a relationship before getting in too deep. Lifes too short for living in a relationship your not happy in or a partner you can't be honest with. "
Not sure if I agree with that entirely, I think it's never too late to try rectify a situation and there's always something that will be highlighted over the years of knowing another that you didn't have to raise before. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey all just wondering about a problem I have, I've been seeing this girl for a bit now doesn't know I'm on here however we talked about sex one day and she said that she just likes normal sex(me on top and that it) and thinks anything else is just a performance..I didn't know ow what to say so just agreed how do I bring up that I'd want more that just me on top
Your mistake was that you "just agreed" with her in the first place. Your obviously dissatisfied and should have talked about it and found out why she had that outlook. If you say anything now she's likely to ask why you've never said anything about it before, which could put you on the back foot and make things awkward depending how deep your feelings are for her. If something not right for you it's always best to sort things out in the early stages of a relationship before getting in too deep. Lifes too short for living in a relationship your not happy in or a partner you can't be honest with.
Not sure if I agree with that entirely, I think it's never too late to try rectify a situation and there's always something that will be highlighted over the years of knowing another that you didn't have to raise before. "
Well I've been in a 3 way relationship for the last 13 years and with my longest term partner for 40. All 3 get along great, no problems at all and we put that down to total honesty and sorting any potential problems out at the get go. It's worked for us, honesty is definitely the best policy in any relationship. As I said before, lifes too short to live a lie. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In my experience setting out on an ideally permanent relationship where there is a fundamental sexual incompatibility is a fools errand. It will come back to bite you later no matter how lovely the person is. Trust me, been there. "
Agreed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The foundation of a fulfilling, long lasting relationship is honesty and acceptance of each other.
If the foundation isn't there, anything you build on top of that will innevitably fall down around you.
Being honest at the start of a relationship shouldn't be viewed as a hurdle. It should be seen as a chance to save you both years of incompatibility and unhappiness.
The quicker you figure out if you're compatible or not, the quicker you can move towards either building upon that compatibility, or finding someone who you both deserve.
It's not just you who would be suffering in an incompatible relationship, they'd eventually pick up on your unhappiness too.
Do you both deserve to feel not good enough?
Because that's the reality that comes from dishonest communication. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *JCRoseWoman 2 hours ago
Caversham |
"In my experience setting out on an ideally permanent relationship where there is a fundamental sexual incompatibility is a fools errand. It will come back to bite you later no matter how lovely the person is. Trust me, been there. "
This is sooo true, you either need to discuss this with her or move on. You will not be truly happy if your not honest with yourself. Does she like foreplay?? Could you bring in a game and start with something different that way? But in all honesty of she just wants to lay on her back and not do anything that is not fun for anyone long term. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
