FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > finding this hard work
finding this hard work
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Over a year and no verifications.
We assume anyone with this is either an internet fantasist (after pics and dirty chat etc), a time waster or a fake.
Obviously its not always the case but better safe than sorry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know that guy already left but for everyone else who happens to check out this topic i have a little advice. Be yourself dont try to be what you think people want. Even when your just messaging someone at first be respectful and remember one line messages are a dime a dozen, instead put some thought into them and your response chances will go up.
Good Luck ,
Josh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over a year and no verifications.
We assume anyone with this is either an internet fantasist (after pics and dirty chat etc), a time waster or a fake.
Obviously its not always the case but better safe than sorry!"
What absolute nonsense. Single guys find it very difficult to get any responses on here. Typical of a couple taking the higher ground. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over a year and no verifications.
We assume anyone with this is either an internet fantasist (after pics and dirty chat etc), a time waster or a fake.
Obviously its not always the case but better safe than sorry!
What absolute nonsense. Single guys find it very difficult to get any responses on here. Typical of a couple taking the higher ground. "
So so so TRUE |
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"Over a year and no verifications.
We assume anyone with this is either an internet fantasist (after pics and dirty chat etc), a time waster or a fake.
Obviously its not always the case but better safe than sorry!
What absolute nonsense. Single guys find it very difficult to get any responses on here. Typical of a couple taking the higher ground. "
I really sympathise with single guys and appreciate how difficult it can be, but you don't help yourselves with comments like this.
Couples and yes single women find it just as hard! - stop thinking others have the "higher ground", we're all in the same boat and use whatever techniques (as the couple mentioned above) we can to minimise the amount of time we spend sorting out the chaff.
D
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't agree it's nonsense and it would put me off too. I've known loads of single guys on here and Mr has had his own profile and it's not that difficult to get verified. Could be from a social meet or via webcam. Ms |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hard work? I only joined 3 weeks ago and have had 2 meets. Chances are you're sending out generic 'hey, how's you?' messages that don't warrant reply.
Mix it up a bit, reference their profile text so it at the very least shows you've taken an interest. |
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"Over a year and no verifications.
We assume anyone with this is either an internet fantasist (after pics and dirty chat etc), a time waster or a fake.
Obviously its not always the case but better safe than sorry!
What absolute nonsense. Single guys find it very difficult to get any responses on here. Typical of a couple taking the higher ground.
So so so TRUE "
both of those comments are ridiculous.
There is no reason on this planet why anyone cant get meet veris if they are serious about the site. Just go to a fab social and meet and chat to other members at least sone if them will be more than happy to verify you as normal and not a lunatic.
Yes not easy going in on your own maybe but then as happens here quite often there will be a few meet in a pub nearby and all go in together and first timers (to socials ) can do that too.
Big stumbling block for single guys is no veris and that doesn't have to be a problem if they put the effort in to get to social etc.
Its just as hard for single women and couples finding genuine people to meet. so no it was not a couple taking the moral high ground it was the truth. but the truth does mean you get out of the site what you put in.
Too many single guys as well as others want to sit back amd let meets come to them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plenty of successful single gents on this site.
However, they are often self-starters with individualities, who seldom moan or groan about inequality on this site, or seek advise on their profiles, or pics or whatever.
IMHO, of course.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plenty of successful single gents on this site.
However, they are often self-starters with individualities, who seldom moan or groan about inequality on this site, or seek advise on their profiles, or pics or whatever.
IMHO, of course.
"
I'd agree with that. I've never seen the point of complaining when it comes to non-replies on unsolicited messages. The old addage of 'manners should still exist online' doesn't wash with me. I wouldn't go up to a woman in the street just dressed in a towel and with a stupid look on my face would I!
The logic should be all encompassing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with Funcouple, it's not always easy for us single women either. I live in a gorgeous part of the country right on the west coast BUT it's miles from everyone. Cardiff is two and a half hours away so an organised social event is not a realistic option. Having said that, I still manage ok  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hard work? I only joined 3 weeks ago and have had 2 meets. Chances are you're sending out generic 'hey, how's you?' messages that don't warrant reply.
Mix it up a bit, reference their profile text so it at the very least shows you've taken an interest."
You are hot though lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hard work? I only joined 3 weeks ago and have had 2 meets. Chances are you're sending out generic 'hey, how's you?' messages that don't warrant reply.
Mix it up a bit, reference their profile text so it at the very least shows you've taken an interest.
You are hot though lol "
.
That certainly helps I am sure!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See that's it - hot guys will always find it easier as long they are not too full of themselves.
Seen it time and time again, where an average looking or ugly guy makes a comment and is jumped all over.
Week or so later, a hottie makes a similar comment and gets all ooohs and aaahs and the comment gets a far more constructive response.
There is a great deal of 'fickle' goes on in these here forums.
Not a whinge or a moan, merely an observation. |
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"The same applies to women, hence all the BBW threads by BBWs, IMHO!  "
Good point, to a degree. The numbers mean that even some guys who don't like BBWs will inevitably loosen their criteria to include them.
On the other hand, many BBWs don't need to adopt such an approach as they'd still be inundated by messages by virtue of being female. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
The BBW threads, where the author asks if people find them attractive are usually by someone with list of verifications... so they already know the answer, just reassurance. The fact that they have a vagina, is a starter for ten. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be nice.
Don't be a Dick.
Respect who your chatting to.
(You should be nice by default anyway.)
I'm chatting to a couple of nice ladies at the moment and going to a few events with them over the next couple of weeks.
I'm finding the site pretty good at the moment, I'm here cos I'm a renegade against the Status Quo muahaha! 
Cheers
Ben |
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There is ONE thing you can do that will vastly increase both the chances of getting a meet, and the number of verifs you have, and its also fun.
Are you ready?
Its a secret, passed down through generations of Ninja swingers, and it is made up of three parts...
Part one... go to a social.
Part two... go to a social.
Part three... is a test, if you can guess what it it, you are 90% of the way there !!
YES... it really is that easy!
And... for every excuse you make about how you cant get to one, distance, travel, shy, in public... yadda yadda... deduct ten "real swinger" points... but here's the bind, you only have ten points to start with!
If you wont make the effort, then you are probably a single guy/girl/cpl we don't want to meet.
You gets out what ya puts in! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See that's it - hot guys will always find it easier as long they are not too full of themselves.
Seen it time and time again, where an average looking or ugly guy makes a comment and is jumped all over.
Week or so later, a hottie makes a similar comment and gets all ooohs and aaahs and the comment gets a far more constructive response.
There is a great deal of 'fickle' goes on in these here forums.
Not a whinge or a moan, merely an observation."
And an accurate one too Bussy!
However - there's a great deal of variation in the way assistance is sought, questions asked and advice requested.
Many will come to the forums looking for a 'secret formula' or magic wand to be waved to solve their problems. Others will chosse to blame external influences for their lack of 'success' - be that alleged timewasters, not getting replies to mails, 'rude couples', 'fussy females' or a myriad of things that are apparently beyond their personal control. The posts often display an unrealistic sense of expentancy of what the site itself is for and what it can do for them.
Then you get those that are inexperienced and still finding their feet, genuinly looking for advice, tips and guidance.
You can usually spot the difference immediately. You can also often tell - by later comments from the OP, clicking the little green arrow and indeed the odd peek at a profile - whether any feedback or comments from others have been taken on board. Many are wise enough to take things on board and change their approach. Many more sadly, seem reluctant to!
And often the only change you see after this kind of post is "user no longer on site".
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"See that's it - hot guys will always find it easier as long they are not too full of themselves.
Seen it time and time again, where an average looking or ugly guy makes a comment and is jumped all over.
Week or so later, a hottie makes a similar comment and gets all ooohs and aaahs and the comment gets a far more constructive response.
There is a great deal of 'fickle' goes on in these here forums.
Not a whinge or a moan, merely an observation.
And an accurate one too Bussy!
However - there's a great deal of variation in the way assistance is sought, questions asked and advice requested.
Many will come to the forums looking for a 'secret formula' or magic wand to be waved to solve their problems. Others will chosse to blame external influences for their lack of 'success' - be that alleged timewasters, not getting replies to mails, 'rude couples', 'fussy females' or a myriad of things that are apparently beyond their personal control. The posts often display an unrealistic sense of expentancy of what the site itself is for and what it can do for them.
Then you get those that are inexperienced and still finding their feet, genuinly looking for advice, tips and guidance.
You can usually spot the difference immediately. You can also often tell - by later comments from the OP, clicking the little green arrow and indeed the odd peek at a profile - whether any feedback or comments from others have been taken on board. Many are wise enough to take things on board and change their approach. Many more sadly, seem reluctant to!
And often the only change you see after this kind of post is "user no longer on site".
"
  |
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"Hard work? I only joined 3 weeks ago and have had 2 meets. Chances are you're sending out generic 'hey, how's you?' messages that don't warrant reply.
Mix it up a bit, reference their profile text so it at the very least shows you've taken an interest."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"See that's it - hot guys will always find it easier as long they are not too full of themselves.
Seen it time and time again, where an average looking or ugly guy makes a comment and is jumped all over.
Week or so later, a hottie makes a similar comment and gets all ooohs and aaahs and the comment gets a far more constructive response.
There is a great deal of 'fickle' goes on in these here forums.
Not a whinge or a moan, merely an observation."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hard work? I only joined 3 weeks ago and have had 2 meets. Chances are you're sending out generic 'hey, how's you?' messages that don't warrant reply.
Mix it up a bit, reference their profile text so it at the very least shows you've taken an interest."
we always get interested when someone references our profile. Shows they've taken the time to actually read it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rule 1 of success: be attractive
Rule 2: don't be unattractive.
*tongue might be in cheek over here before someone tells me they're a minger and still get meets*
Oh wait, that's me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over a year and no verifications.
We assume anyone with this is either an internet fantasist (after pics and dirty chat etc), a time waster or a fake.
Obviously its not always the case but better safe than sorry!
What absolute nonsense. Single guys find it very difficult to get any responses on here. Typical of a couple taking thehigher ground.
Totally agree , and single guys to get a bad rep .... In my experience those single ladies can b just as bad .....
I really sympathise with single guys and appreciate how difficult it can be, but you don't help yourselves with comments like this.
Couples and yes single women find it just as hard! - stop thinking others have the "higher ground", we're all in the same boat and use whatever techniques (as the couple mentioned above) we can to minimise the amount of time we spend sorting out the chaff.
D
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Over a year and no verifications.
We assume anyone with this is either an internet fantasist (after pics and dirty chat etc), a time waster or a fake.
Obviously its not always the case but better safe than sorry!
What absolute nonsense. Single guys find it very difficult to get any responses on here. Typical of a couple taking the higher ground. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Over a year and no verifications.
We assume anyone with this is either an internet fantasist (after pics and dirty chat etc), a time waster or a fake.
Obviously its not always the case but better safe than sorry!
What absolute nonsense. Single guys find it very difficult to get any responses on here. Typical of a couple taking the higher ground.
"
I can see where you're coming from but its not me taking the higher ground "as a couple"-its just a logical conclusion. After a year, if the person hasnt even been photo verified or gone in the chat rooms (that only takes two mins) then we just assume they arent serious about meeting-we dont care if they havent got an in person veri
Loads of GREAT single guys on this site, fab is what you make of it! |
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Myself n other half wanted to see what this would offer but find both our shyness and what we actually want quite hard to put across. I think the fear of the unknown us what makes it difficult so my advice would be clench teeth, and power through lol. X |
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*wipes slaver off chin* ms