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First time
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So me and gf are looking to attend a club. Both have never been before. She is a bit shy at the idea as she "would get jealous if somebody tried it on with me".
I explained that at clubs you just decline and it is taken well by whoever wanted in on the action, is this 100% true?
I told her i would decline but tell them they can have her squirt in their faces which she liked the sound of.
After a couple of visits i think she would be willing to have more than just my cock, i wouldn't object but would make some rules which would need to be followed, ie no kissing, would this be followed or do people take the p*ss abit and try things on when they shouldn't? |
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As i thought, thanks for that. What is the general scene like? Could we just attend for a drink like it was a pub/club take a look around to dip our toes in? Would we walk into the place and see people at it with each other or does that just happen in private rooms? |
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Different nights have different vibes, different etiquette, different rules, different clientele.
Look into what newbie specific nights are going on in your local area. Or check the forums here to see what's going on that looks like the kind of vibe you're hoping for.
Probably wouldn't recommend a greedy girls or fuckfest kind of event for a first timer if you're both not certain yet.
Unfortunately several of my favourite clubs pretty much shut down for January for renovations and staff training, so it's not the best time to find good events. |
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My advice would be to take a day off work and go to an event at a club where there will be less people and less pressure as a single guy l often go and couples are treated with respect chat chill in sauna have a drink few games of pool if anything else happend it's a bonus happy to chat about my experiences one to one on telegram |
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Just go for it.
Be clear with anyone who approaches you, in what you aren't and aren't looking for.
You can do as much or as little as your gf is happy with, ie just play together and let others watch. Or try some soft play if she wants to.
It depends who you're looking for as to when /where to go. Have a browse in swingers club section and see what's on in your area etc. |
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Yes make sure you are both comfortable to do this and your relationship is good if one partner seems to have more fun. Discuss what you like or not and the boundaries. Also how to deal with some rude guys thinking can do what like. It sounds like you doing all of those anyway. Good luck |
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By *SandASCouple 6 days ago
Bishop Auckland |
Hey, female half here!! I can 100% see where she is coming from with the jealousy thing. I was the same, think I was a bit crazy at times lmao
Going to a club genuinely was the best decision we ever made!! Our relationship reached a whole new level of connection, and now we go most weekends.. |
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"Yes make sure you are both comfortable to do this and your relationship is good if one partner seems to have more fun. Discuss what you like or not and the boundaries. Also how to deal with some rude guys thinking can do what like. It sounds like you doing all of those anyway. Good luck "
Thanks for the advice. Yer we've spoke alot already we bith just feel abit anxious towards what to expect. |
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"Hey, female half here!! I can 100% see where she is coming from with the jealousy thing. I was the same, think I was a bit crazy at times lmao
Going to a club genuinely was the best decision we ever made!! Our relationship reached a whole new level of connection, and now we go most weekends.. "
Thank you, this has made her and me feel abit better about the idea.
We think we will give one a go in the new year |
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"Yes make sure you are both comfortable to do this and your relationship is good if one partner seems to have more fun. Discuss what you like or not and the boundaries. Also how to deal with some rude guys thinking can do what like. It sounds like you doing all of those anyway. Good luck
Thanks for the advice. Yer we've spoke alot already we bith just feel abit anxious towards what to expect. "
It’s very understandable to be anxious first time. It’s difficult to relax when all so new when first go. If it does get too much don’t worry about leaving. You don’t want have sex just for the sake of it in my view. Best to enjoy first time. I was lucky as not at club and I did not initiate. Was nervous as hell but ended so good |
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"So me and gf are looking to attend a club. Both have never been before. She is a bit shy at the idea as she "would get jealous if somebody tried it on with me".
I explained that at clubs you just decline and it is taken well by whoever wanted in on the action, is this 100% true?
I told her i would decline but tell them they can have her squirt in their faces which she liked the sound of.
After a couple of visits i think she would be willing to have more than just my cock, i wouldn't object but would make some rules which would need to be followed, ie no kissing, would this be followed or do people take the p*ss abit and try things on when they shouldn't?"
It's always good to talk and set yourself ground rules and if she's going to play with others maybe a word she can say (presumably you'd be in the room) if she got a sudden panic .
Go at your own pace
Enjoy |
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Most clubs have a social area where you can just sit and chat ..you can dress up or down whatever you feel is right for you. Then when you are ready pop into the play areas.? You do not have to participate) .these areas are monitored by staff who insure everything is above board and rules are adhered to. in every club NO means NO . GO AT YOUR OWN PACE .first night could just be to see how things work .. Nobody forces anyone to participate.. |
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"Most clubs have a social area where you can just sit and chat ..you can dress up or down whatever you feel is right for you. Then when you are ready pop into the play areas.? You do not have to participate) .these areas are monitored by staff who insure everything is above board and rules are adhered to. in every club NO means NO . GO AT YOUR OWN PACE .first night could just be to see how things work .. Nobody forces anyone to participate.."
This is exactly what we wanted to know, thank you |
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"This is a really good post and thank you to everyone also for contributing, helpful for those of us looking/ considering a first time visit to a club."
Some great advice here really thankful to the good folk who have committed time into good responses |
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"So me and gf are looking to attend a club. Both have never been before. She is a bit shy at the idea as she "would get jealous if somebody tried it on with me".
I explained that at clubs you just decline and it is taken well by whoever wanted in on the action, is this 100% true?
I told her i would decline but tell them they can have her squirt in their faces which she liked the sound of.
After a couple of visits i think she would be willing to have more than just my cock, i wouldn't object but would make some rules which would need to be followed, ie no kissing, would this be followed or do people take the p*ss abit and try things on when they shouldn't?
It's always good to talk and set yourself ground rules and if she's going to play with others maybe a word she can say (presumably you'd be in the room) if she got a sudden panic .
Go at your own pace
Enjoy "
Thank you so much, yes it will be a shock to me to see her taking another D for the first time but i have fantasised alot about the idea. She gets going when we speak about it but once she has climaxed and done her thing she tells me she's a little unsure if she would or wouldn't... i think she would/does but end of the day it is her decision.
*female here and yes I do and I don't, as I'm greedyish girl but more than happy with his D and what he does to me, maybe I will maybe I won't, I just think we should see what the club is like but hopefully we can go, be left alone, let him turn me on while there and then see what happens- I definitely won't seperate from him but it turns me on the thought of people masturbating over us two at it* |
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"So me and gf are looking to attend a club. Both have never been before. She is a bit shy at the idea as she "would get jealous if somebody tried it on with me".
I explained that at clubs you just decline and it is taken well by whoever wanted in on the action, is this 100% true?
I told her i would decline but tell them they can have her squirt in their faces which she liked the sound of.
After a couple of visits i think she would be willing to have more than just my cock, i wouldn't object but would make some rules which would need to be followed, ie no kissing, would this be followed or do people take the p*ss abit and try things on when they shouldn't?"
You'll see everything eventually. Lots of dicks, lots of tits on display, thin fat, tall short, young and old, straight, bi, and trans in all kind of outfits.
Lots go for the vibe, the friendship while some go purely to have sex. It doesn't often occur openly but you WILL probably see it eventually. Or someone getting a blown etc
No one is going to pounce on you but just like vanilla life, women will always be the chased, sometimes persistently. Everyone should follow the rules but if they don't, then raise it with the staff.
I'm short, think of it as a fancy dress party with occasional fucking on show.
And if you see a trans girl with a flashing butt plug, day hi, that'd be me :😜 |
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Don't jump ahead of yourself and remember pressure kills a lady boner.
Just go to a club together with the veiw of purely taking in the ambiance and what's going on. It's a great night out being in a relaxed atmosphere with sexy people and seeing what goes on. It sounds like you're sold on the lifestyle already so just let her take the lead in terms of what she wants to see and do in the club. If all that happens is you have a nice night together and she comes back horny from what she's seen and wants to go again that is still a massive win. And who knows where that will lead going forward as long as you continue to go at her speed.
Hopefully you will as time goes on work out what works and what doesn't. Like most couples we're not in the same place with the same boundaries as when we started. A lot of the fun of this as a couple is exploring together and growing into this lifestyle. What's really hot is growing in that trust and security in eachother to be free and not to be threatened by their desires or lustful encounters with others. To be free and celebrate and support each others desires.
On a point of first clubs I would highly recommend the Attic. It's a very easy going, no pressure club. No membership or paperwork. It's dress as you like which maybe best for someone dipping their toe in (you don't want to scare her off before she comes through the door). There is great social areas with a mix of people in various levels of undress. A wet area which is a great no play are if she's feeling brave enough to be naked infront of others and socialise without sexaul pressure. There a whole range of different play areas so she can see the full spectrum of dynamics and depravity going on or even join in if the moods takes. Basically it's a great playground for whatever level you're at or dynamic. |
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