It’s a Friday night, I am obviously looking gorgeous, I go online to talk to men about possibly meeting. A gurl has needs.
On Fab:
I update my status
I peruse the recently viewed
I fish out men with same interests nearby
I rarely get a successful meet but I endure the countless time wasting messages.
Often I encounter:
Men who ask random questions and get in touch, but obviously have no intentions to meet
Men who chat, ask you for your address, and then never login again that night
Men who and ask for super niche fetish requests and pictures
Can you hit me with your top tips on how I make this work better?
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Commiserations, fabmin is very time-consuming! If anything I'd suggest you post about your meet a couple days in advance so there's time for the nonsense to blow over. You sound like you can definitely pick out who is a potential meet from those mainly having a look (my guy friend who was pro once told me, when an interested guy asks too many questions they're just having a wank, you'll never get to see them!). So when advertising a meet, ignore the chatters and concentrate on those who talk logistics. Arrange with one, ask a couple others if they'd be around/if they're ok with a last minute booty call in case first choice goes missing (or hell, invite all three and see who shows up???). On the day confirm arrangements, in case of a no-show call your reserves.
Ideally within a few weeks of doing this you will have put together a list of interested guys, add them as friends so they never miss your updates. Sometimes schedules take a while to align but reliable guys will eventually come see you, and until they do they tend to be clear about their availability (eg. can't do this Friday, how about the next).
I hope people that have success with arranging on the fly will post some advice, I'm curious too. |
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It sounds as though you’re putting all your effort into a short burst of Fab activity on a Friday evening when you’re horny and setting yourself up to fail.
Have you considered creating a hotlist when you have more time and then filtering that hot list even further with some meaningful exchange?
By the time you get to Friday you’ll have hopefully sorted most of the wheat from the chaff. |
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Thank you!
"Commiserations, fabmin is very time-consuming! If anything I'd suggest you post about your meet a couple days in advance so there's time for the nonsense to blow over. You sound like you can definitely pick out who is a potential meet from those mainly having a look (my guy friend who was pro once told me, when an interested guy asks too many questions they're just having a wank, you'll never get to see them!). So when advertising a meet, ignore the chatters and concentrate on those who talk logistics. Arrange with one, ask a couple others if they'd be around/if they're ok with a last minute booty call in case first choice goes missing (or hell, invite all three and see who shows up???). On the day confirm arrangements, in case of a no-show call your reserves.
Ideally within a few weeks of doing this you will have put together a list of interested guys, add them as friends so they never miss your updates. Sometimes schedules take a while to align but reliable guys will eventually come see you, and until they do they tend to be clear about their availability (eg. can't do this Friday, how about the next).
I hope people that have success with arranging on the fly will post some advice, I'm curious too."
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A common mistake here is assuming that people online are actually looking to meet.
Reality is, the vast majority aren’t.
Sending silly messages , tossing themselves off and general attention seeking are what it’s all about for the vast majority. |
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"It sounds as though you’re putting all your effort into a short burst of Fab activity on a Friday evening when you’re horny and setting yourself up to fail.
Have you considered creating a hotlist when you have more time and then filtering that hot list even further with some meaningful exchange?
By the time you get to Friday you’ll have hopefully sorted most of the wheat from the chaff."
Best advice I've seen for a long time. We do those now and it's working so much better. |
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As someone who is actively looking to meet its frustrating I've had my time and fuel wasted once, msged to ask if available ues was answer asked for address, guess the first red flag was the facr I only got a postcode but went through a anyway msged to say there and I was blanked for more than an hour, waited 30 mins then left.
It's frustrating to here us real and legit seekers aren't finding each other enough we keep going for timewasters. |
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Your location is Brighton!! The lgbtqia+ capital of the south east.
Fuck this trawling FAB for a meet. There has got to be plenty of venues and clubs you can go to meet peeps.
The real world is were it is at...
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