FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Confidence
Confidence
Jump to: Newest in thread
So.. I’ve never been the most confident person especially sexually. But my confidence has definitely grew over the past year but still not as confident as I would like to be in my mind. I see so many beautiful women on here that ooze sex appeal and their verifications just confirm just how sexy they are 😍Is there any tips on being more confident in yourself I feel when people message me a lot of the time I think no way they could actually find me sexy and it’s frustrating me because I’m horny and a girl has needs 🙈 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Positive thinking. This world is full of people that are attracted in all different kinds of people.
Most people will tell you that visiting a club improved their body confidence.
"
Aww definitely couldn’t got to a club 🙈 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It begins in the mind first.
Loving and owning all aspects of yourself xx
Hang around with positive, confident ppl.
Lastly, get yourself to a club, maybe an event that caters to women like us.
P.s. Chams bbw bash is a great place to start xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It begins in the mind first.
Loving and owning all aspects of yourself xx
Hang around with positive, confident ppl.
Lastly, get yourself to a club, maybe an event that caters to women like us.
P.s. Chams bbw bash is a great place to start xx"
A club just seems so daunting to me! But yeah maybe a more specific night might be easier 😬 thank you! Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *eper61Couple 2 weeks ago
Berks/Hamps/surrey |
When trying something new taking the first step is always start. (and you have). then keep repeating it until your comfortable, then push a boundary, one thing at a time. Think about when you start a new job. Most of the time, you wont know how to do things, but over time you build up knowledge and confidence and it becomes natural. Try a club. Your first visit will be scary, but the staff are (usually) extremely helpful and will guide you. There is no obligation to get involved just watch. Perhaps find someone to go with you as a chaperone. I'm sure you will get plenty of offers off here (couples or singles) as long as you make it clear nothing else will happen (unless you change your mind of course) but ultimately its down to you. you're in charge, remember that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *xixWoman 2 weeks ago
Coventry |
I just joined Fab in the spring, after a long post-divorce dry spell... and the attention I've received has done wonders for my confidence; particularly discovering men in their early 30s are into me, and want to come back again
So my advice... lap it up! Whenever you discover something has made you feel good, feel a little taller, do more of that! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When trying something new taking the first step is always start. (and you have). then keep repeating it until your comfortable, then push a boundary, one thing at a time. Think about when you start a new job. Most of the time, you wont know how to do things, but over time you build up knowledge and confidence and it becomes natural. Try a club. Your first visit will be scary, but the staff are (usually) extremely helpful and will guide you. There is no obligation to get involved just watch. Perhaps find someone to go with you as a chaperone. I'm sure you will get plenty of offers off here (couples or singles) as long as you make it clear nothing else will happen (unless you change your mind of course) but ultimately its down to you. you're in charge, remember that."
Thank you appreciate the advice 🥰 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Lots of clubs have night where sexual happens. They literally have quiz nights and social events.
Other than that, look for socials in your area. "
Oh really I’ve never really looked into the club side so didn’t really know what they are like. Maybe need to look into it more! Thanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I just joined Fab in the spring, after a long post-divorce dry spell... and the attention I've received has done wonders for my confidence; particularly discovering men in their early 30s are into me, and want to come back again
So my advice... lap it up! Whenever you discover something has made you feel good, feel a little taller, do more of that!"
Aww I know I just need to get out my own head and enjoy it! Seems easier said than done lol but thank you! X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *elkieWoman 2 weeks ago
Durham |
The right partners help. Fucking men who are specifically into BBWs and who will worship tummies and thighs as well as tits and ass is really good for me. How would you feel about posting in the BBW chat thread so people can see how amazing you are?
And maybe looking at a BBW night at a club? I have no idea about the Scottish clubs, but Flaunt Thy Curves is worth travelling for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hey, I feel ya. I think like this! We've only been on Fab a few weeks but ngl, it's done wonders for our sex life (which was amazing before anyway) and my confidence. I have social anxiety (sounds weird af in this LS huh), so meeting new people is daunting enough. Really consider a club night. That's next on our to-do's. No pressure to perform. Find a night you're most comfortable with, see if there's like-minded folk on here you'd like to meet and have them show you the ropes 
~ Mrs. DS |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So.. I’ve never been the most confident person especially sexually. But my confidence has definitely grew over the past year but still not as confident as I would like to be in my mind. I see so many beautiful women on here that ooze sex appeal and their verifications just confirm just how sexy they are 😍Is there any tips on being more confident in yourself I feel when people message me a lot of the time I think no way they could actually find me sexy and it’s frustrating me because I’m horny and a girl has needs 🙈"
What you should realise is when the "beautiful" women post photo's they may have took 20 and chose the best one (as most of us do!). Also many are filtered, they may look beautiful and wrinkle free but in real life they look very different (we've seen women in clubs who look VERY different). Don't assume most people want a certain size woman with a certain look because that's not the case. Take verifications with a pinch of salt, people like to be complimentary (Who doesn't like a compliment?). You look sexy and hopefully you'll find some nice people to make you feel sexy and confident. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP - just go and enjoy the sex. It’s sex - not an eternal commitment to true love or some kind of validation of your worth as an individual. It’s two people enjoying each others bodies. Don’t overthink it.
If someone you like the look of has contacted you then just go and shag their brains out. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Set yourself free and enjoy the orgasms. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The right partners help. Fucking men who are specifically into BBWs and who will worship tummies and thighs as well as tits and ass is really good for me. How would you feel about posting in the BBW chat thread so people can see how amazing you are?
And maybe looking at a BBW night at a club? I have no idea about the Scottish clubs, but Flaunt Thy Curves is worth travelling for. "
Didn’t know there was a bbw thread will have a look at it ☺️ yeh think it’s just getting the confidence to go to a club seems very daunting
! X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey, I feel ya. I think like this! We've only been on Fab a few weeks but ngl, it's done wonders for our sex life (which was amazing before anyway) and my confidence. I have social anxiety (sounds weird af in this LS huh), so meeting new people is daunting enough. Really consider a club night. That's next on our to-do's. No pressure to perform. Find a night you're most comfortable with, see if there's like-minded folk on here you'd like to meet and have them show you the ropes
~ Mrs. DS"
Yeah I totally get how you feel! I will defo look into it thank you ☺️ x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So.. I’ve never been the most confident person especially sexually. But my confidence has definitely grew over the past year but still not as confident as I would like to be in my mind. I see so many beautiful women on here that ooze sex appeal and their verifications just confirm just how sexy they are 😍Is there any tips on being more confident in yourself I feel when people message me a lot of the time I think no way they could actually find me sexy and it’s frustrating me because I’m horny and a girl has needs 🙈
What you should realise is when the "beautiful" women post photo's they may have took 20 and chose the best one (as most of us do!). Also many are filtered, they may look beautiful and wrinkle free but in real life they look very different (we've seen women in clubs who look VERY different). Don't assume most people want a certain size woman with a certain look because that's not the case. Take verifications with a pinch of salt, people like to be complimentary (Who doesn't like a compliment?). You look sexy and hopefully you'll find some nice people to make you feel sexy and confident."
Aww I know think I just got in my head a bit. But thank you! ☺️ x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Positive thinking. This world is full of people that are attracted in all different kinds of people.
Most people will tell you that visiting a club improved their body confidence.
Aww definitely couldn’t got to a club 🙈 "
Yeah you could.
Make a trip to Club F in Stanley, north east england. We have a few ladies from Glasgow make the trip and stay for the weekend.
They love it, you will too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Like most ladies I have good days and bad days with self image and self worth, and that affects my confidence no end.
Bad hair day, bit of clothing to tight, spot on the chin, tired, etc etc all happen.
The key to it for me is being objective. We all have our "bits" we would like to change.
But equally we all have things that we should celebrate.
If I focus on them (and hubby bless him is good at pointing these out) confidence is improved and I would strongly suggest self confidence is the key to feeling sexy, desirable and wanting to be coveted.
It can just be a question of convincing yourself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hey I believe it starts in loving yourself first, which I'm myself is still learning to do although I'm getting there.
I'm waiting on a day time club event or social to attend for my first time, would you fancy maybe going together?
Also I'm one of the guys that finds you sexy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It begins in the mind first.
Loving and owning all aspects of yourself xx
Hang around with positive, confident ppl.
Lastly, get yourself to a club, maybe an event that caters to women like us.
P.s. Chams bbw bash is a great place to start xx
A club just seems so daunting to me! But yeah maybe a more specific night might be easier 😬 thank you! Xx"
Personally, I would suggest a fem only night for your first one. Especially if you are only looking for FF play. There are loads around. There is a thread on the forums which has some excellent F only nights. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I would say I come across as extremely confident, and my top tip would be to fake it!! Start my acting out the part of a super confident person and the more you do it the more it becomes your default mindset |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Honestly I’d say a lot of us fake the confidence. I’ve seen women I would consider to be way more attractive/slimer/sexier than me who are a bag of nerves in a club changing room or stressing on how they look. Most people have insecurities but some just cover it well.
Just be yourself and trust that there will be people who are drawn to you. Focus on the parts of you that you and others do love.
Kx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
|
Stop comparing yourself to others. For all you know all those beautiful women could be the sort that eat their own nose goblins, stink of BO, have webbed toes, or halitosis. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This whole thing has helped with my confidence. Being in a relationship. You never really think about others finding you attractive both me and him. I've never been more confident with my body than I am now. The club scene helps too. Never did I ever imagine walking around half naked infront of so many people- never mind fucking infront of others 🔥
Don't compare- just embrace ✨️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *HUSH-Man 1 week ago
London |
Body confidence grows over time and everyone has good and bad days. Comparing yourself to others is also a pernicious trap that we so easily fall into.
Taking mental notes of when you find yourself doing it and taking breaks here and there if FAB starts to get a bit too much can really help. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sWyldWoman 1 day ago
Edinburgh |
Honestly I fake it until I make it. I could have written this post myself.
I think we all need to remember that verifications, pictures and profiles here are much like social media, it's only a snap shot.
No one sees me slumming about in leggings, t shirt, wellies with no make up and unwashed hair on a dog walk, but that's my reality most weekends. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *JohnMan 1 day ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I didn't see this thread at the time, so apologies for my late contribution.
My journey towards confidence (knocked a bit by lockdown) started by realising that there were actually people who wanted me. And that happened by me putting myself into situations where they had a chance to show it.
Clubs worked for me, but they aren't necessarily for everyone. For a new single woman it can be very intimidating. Some clubs and some events are less scary than others. My regular has been having 'newbie nights', weekend daytime social events, and they're bringing back their "Curvy Girls" night. That was originally started to help women feel sexy, and was always a great night.
There are also socials. Find one nearby that you're comfortable with (for me, that'd be a smaller quieter one) and keep going. Get to know people. Stay in the same hotel as everyone, and grab opportunities that look appealing. Remember that everyone else might be as shy and nervous as you, even if they don't look it.
This is a bit outside my direct personal experience, but from what I've seen, women can be very supportive of other women. Make some friends and let them push you into the path of opportunity when you need it. Everything's better when you have good friends |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I lost some confidence, after family losses and went to clubs, for the break from routine and social engagement. You could decide to go, for a month or so, not for any sexual shenanigans but just for the craic. You'll probably find a new sense of being around others that's uplifting. You could find others beforehand, who would not have any sexual compatibility but could just be your friend, for a giggle. You can chat about people you like the look of, or just any old random stuff.
Sure, you can take a look around but aim for your time to be passed in the bar/social area
You'll likely find that people will give you positive vibes that will nurture your self confidence.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Don't forget that a fab profile is just a veneer that each person chooses to present. Some profiles ooze appeal and confidence and then when you meet them in person you realise they are just as vulnerable and have the same needs as everyone else who's set up an account. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
