So, tomorrow we celebrate 10 years together. We met in the strangest way, through a rather dodgy hookup site that made it almost impossible to share personal contact information. But, we persevered. And finally got together on November 11th 2014.
Just to make it even harder, the pub we were supposed to meet in was closed during the days, so we first saw each other in an empty car park 😂 anyway we laughed about it and found a restaurant nearby and spent the next 4 hours sharing a lovely meal. With an instant connection, we just chatted and laughed our way through and don't even know where the time went.
Eventually, when we were the last people there, they looked like they were ready to kick us out 😂 In the car park we had our first kiss. It was absolutely electric. I don't know how long it lasted but it felt like forever until we disentangled from each other. We headed for a local pub, got the drinks and continued to snog away in the corner, with distasteful looks coming from all the locals. Honestly not sure how we didn't get booted out 😂
After a fumble back in one of our cars we found that it was about 2 weeks before we could meet up again. So we booked a hotel for the weekend. Well, that is still the most memorable weekend of both our lives. I think it took 30 seconds from entry to finding ourselves in bed. We only left that bedroom about twice during the whole weekend. It was amazing, neither of us had ever known anything like it before.
We quickly learnt how compatible we were in almost every way. Neither of us had been very good at monogamy and, yes, we would end up cheating eventually. So we agreed to be very open with each other and COMMUNICATE!
We quickly realised that this was the problem in our previous relationships. We could never express our fantasies and needs to previous partners. They just didn't understand, so we had stopped trying. And just cheated. Not proud but sadly the physical needs will always prevail. It is said that sex will not make a relationship but lack of it (or the right type) will sure break it!
Within a month we were madly in love and together all the time. We discussed in detail what had gone wrong in previous marriages/relationships and agreed to be open and honest with each other. We knew we would both want to sleep with other people at some point, so we decided it would always be together. That hasn't changed to this day and is the bedrock of everything.
Cheating has never again even crossed either of our minds. If either of us feels the need for something extra, we just talk about it to each other and then make it happen. Simple. It is all about honesty, openness and being realistic about each others needs and wants.
Our first meet was with a single girl and it was very hot. Then Lola suggested some clubs. She had been to them before but Atilla hadn't. She was quite nervous how he would react. Imagine her delight when he took to it like a duck to water. We still enjoy this a lot and try to visit clubs 2-3 times a year.
The amazing thing is that in those 10 years we have had more sexual playmates than either of us have had in total in the past. And we have both played out almost every fantasy we ever had. But it has always been together and that in itself is rather hot. We had truly found our soulmates in each other. We would never dream of "cheating" which is actually quite amazing.
Relationships come in all shapes and sizes. But honesty, openness and communication are absolutely the key. Some people look on a swinging lifestyle with trepidation and even horror and say it can never work.
Frankly we cannot disagree more with this viewpoint. The openness it creates actually makes our relationship stronger. We hate the analogy but it is actually accurate, however much you love steak, you couldn't eat it every night of your life.
For those couples out there, setting out and feeling nervous, the best advice we can give is talk, talk and talk to each other frankly about what you both want. Jealousy will crop up so that's the important part of it all. You have to be 100% honest with each other and only do anything that you are both comfortable with. And don't be afraid to give new things a try, you never know if you are going to like something if you don't try it. Variety is really the spice of life.
Don't do it again if either of you don't. There's plenty of different ways to have fun, with both enjoying that fun. There really is no need to do anything that makes another person uncomfortable. We have ended meets where we felt that one partner or the other was being pushed into something. That is very unhealthy.
If any couple wants to chat and discuss, feel free to drop us a line.
Happy swinging 😘 |
