FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How to ask "Are you on Fab?"
How to ask "Are you on Fab?"
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In my opinion the only appropriate time or place to ask someone if they are on fab would be if they were at a swinger club or event. It's just too risky to ask someone this question unless the you know they are in the lifestyle.
I'm not sure you could necessarily tell someone was in the lifestyle simply by what they are wearing unless it's some kind of swinger jewellery or tattoo maybe?, even then it could be a coincidence and leave you red faced if you are in public. Not everyone is willing to discuss the lifestyle outside of a lifestyle event or venue.
Mrs x |
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By *bi HaiveMan 3 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"In my opinion the only appropriate time or place to ask someone if they are on fab would be if they were at a swinger club or event. It's just too risky to ask someone this question unless the you know they are in the lifestyle.
I'm not sure you could necessarily tell someone was in the lifestyle simply by what they are wearing unless it's some kind of swinger jewellery or tattoo maybe?, even then it could be a coincidence and leave you red faced if you are in public. Not everyone is willing to discuss the lifestyle outside of a lifestyle event or venue.
Mrs x"
This. 👌
The best time and place to ask if someone is on Fab, outside of a swingers club/event is when they're logged in on Fab. But then you already know the answer.
Aside from that? Just don't. |
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People rightly expect discretion, so assume that outside of the site, unless you are at a swingers club, you'd not discuss others' potentially using it
Sure, you can disclose whatever you want about yourself to anyone but don't include others in your disclosures. |
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"In a situation where you think someone is on Fab. Probably from the way they dress or the situation/location, what's your best way to avoid embarrassment?  "
Probably the best way to avoid embarrassment is not to ask the question in the first place!
How you can assume that someone is on Fab just because of the way they dress is completely beyond me. Plenty of men can be seen wearing suits on their profiles, but no one assumes that every man wearing a suit is on Fab.
You have taken time to to quote quasi legal mumbo jumbo on your profile regarding your privacy and you have said on your profile that you are discreet. So, as someone that wants his own privacy and says he will respect others' privacy, would you think it a good idea to ask someone publicly if they are on Fab?
Even if you did ask, and not get a slap, what do you think you would achieve? I'm guessing an awkward conversation, some embarrassment and maybe even a block because of your indiscretion. I would suggest it would be unlikely to end up as anything more.
Unless you are at a club or social, ie somewhere where Fab would be discussed quite openly, the only way to find out if someone is on Fab would be to message their profile if you can find it and ask, 'Are you sat in the dog and duck wearing a red dress atm?'.
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From the way they dress? Don't ask.
From the situation/location where it is primarily a swingers event happening and you're already talking to them, just ask.
From the situation/location where they're looking at pineapples in Tesco or on holiday somewhere that we know has a certain reputation but most people certainly don't, don't ask. |
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If they have there pineapple upside down in the Trolley In the supermarket then they might be on FAB but I still wouldn’t ask them. It might be a hint but also the way it’s landed.
We have had a couple approach us and say we think we recognise you from last night but didn’t get your names….. that was in Costa and thankfully M did remember them but it was embarrassing all very whispering. |
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Recognized a work colleague after my fwb was arranging a couples thing. He told the partner I had clocked them so had no choice but to say something the next day. Had a good laugh and swapped notes. We didn’t get together! |
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By *elkieWoman 3 weeks ago
Durham |
"If they have there pineapple upside down in the Trolley In the supermarket then they might be on FAB but I still wouldn’t ask them. It might be a hint but also the way it’s landed.
We have had a couple approach us and say we think we recognise you from last night but didn’t get your names….. that was in Costa and thankfully M did remember them but it was embarrassing all very whispering. "
Ooh no. What happens at the club stays at the club. |
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I come across a girl that lives in the same village as me, I could not reply as I was over her age range, one day I bumped in to her in the supermarket, I knew she would have seen me on there as I had fab,d her photos, |
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We've tested the waters a few times out and about and on holiday. The main thing is to ability to read the room and the vib. Also remember there are actually a lot of swingers or people open to swingers not on fab.
Us being swingers is not top secret. However on the other hand we don't go about wearing t-shirts or telling everyone. First we chat, we flirt a little and see what's coming back. If vibes are good we just drop into the conversation we're swingers or just sort of bring swinging up in the conversation. Then sometimes we're bang on the money and they're swingers or open to it (we've made a couple of converts/been their first over the years). And even if it's a not our thing reply no one's ever taken the hump or fallen out with us over approaching the subject. To be fair I think attitudes towards swinging are far better than they used to be or we just tend to find ourselves gravitated towards more open minded people. |
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