FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How to ask "Are you on Fab?"
How to ask "Are you on Fab?"
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In my opinion the only appropriate time or place to ask someone if they are on fab would be if they were at a swinger club or event. It's just too risky to ask someone this question unless the you know they are in the lifestyle.
I'm not sure you could necessarily tell someone was in the lifestyle simply by what they are wearing unless it's some kind of swinger jewellery or tattoo maybe?, even then it could be a coincidence and leave you red faced if you are in public. Not everyone is willing to discuss the lifestyle outside of a lifestyle event or venue.
Mrs x |
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"In my opinion the only appropriate time or place to ask someone if they are on fab would be if they were at a swinger club or event. It's just too risky to ask someone this question unless the you know they are in the lifestyle.
I'm not sure you could necessarily tell someone was in the lifestyle simply by what they are wearing unless it's some kind of swinger jewellery or tattoo maybe?, even then it could be a coincidence and leave you red faced if you are in public. Not everyone is willing to discuss the lifestyle outside of a lifestyle event or venue.
Mrs x"
This. 👌
The best time and place to ask if someone is on Fab, outside of a swingers club/event is when they're logged in on Fab. But then you already know the answer.
Aside from that? Just don't. |
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People rightly expect discretion, so assume that outside of the site, unless you are at a swingers club, you'd not discuss others' potentially using it
Sure, you can disclose whatever you want about yourself to anyone but don't include others in your disclosures. |
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"In a situation where you think someone is on Fab. Probably from the way they dress or the situation/location, what's your best way to avoid embarrassment?  "
Probably the best way to avoid embarrassment is not to ask the question in the first place!
How you can assume that someone is on Fab just because of the way they dress is completely beyond me. Plenty of men can be seen wearing suits on their profiles, but no one assumes that every man wearing a suit is on Fab.
You have taken time to to quote quasi legal mumbo jumbo on your profile regarding your privacy and you have said on your profile that you are discreet. So, as someone that wants his own privacy and says he will respect others' privacy, would you think it a good idea to ask someone publicly if they are on Fab?
Even if you did ask, and not get a slap, what do you think you would achieve? I'm guessing an awkward conversation, some embarrassment and maybe even a block because of your indiscretion. I would suggest it would be unlikely to end up as anything more.
Unless you are at a club or social, ie somewhere where Fab would be discussed quite openly, the only way to find out if someone is on Fab would be to message their profile if you can find it and ask, 'Are you sat in the dog and duck wearing a red dress atm?'.
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From the way they dress? Don't ask.
From the situation/location where it is primarily a swingers event happening and you're already talking to them, just ask.
From the situation/location where they're looking at pineapples in Tesco or on holiday somewhere that we know has a certain reputation but most people certainly don't, don't ask. |
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If they have there pineapple upside down in the Trolley In the supermarket then they might be on FAB but I still wouldn’t ask them. It might be a hint but also the way it’s landed.
We have had a couple approach us and say we think we recognise you from last night but didn’t get your names….. that was in Costa and thankfully M did remember them but it was embarrassing all very whispering. |
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Recognized a work colleague after my fwb was arranging a couples thing. He told the partner I had clocked them so had no choice but to say something the next day. Had a good laugh and swapped notes. We didn’t get together! |
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By *elkieWoman 10 weeks ago
Durham |
"If they have there pineapple upside down in the Trolley In the supermarket then they might be on FAB but I still wouldn’t ask them. It might be a hint but also the way it’s landed.
We have had a couple approach us and say we think we recognise you from last night but didn’t get your names….. that was in Costa and thankfully M did remember them but it was embarrassing all very whispering. "
Ooh no. What happens at the club stays at the club. |
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I come across a girl that lives in the same village as me, I could not reply as I was over her age range, one day I bumped in to her in the supermarket, I knew she would have seen me on there as I had fab,d her photos, |
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We've tested the waters a few times out and about and on holiday. The main thing is to ability to read the room and the vib. Also remember there are actually a lot of swingers or people open to swingers not on fab.
Us being swingers is not top secret. However on the other hand we don't go about wearing t-shirts or telling everyone. First we chat, we flirt a little and see what's coming back. If vibes are good we just drop into the conversation we're swingers or just sort of bring swinging up in the conversation. Then sometimes we're bang on the money and they're swingers or open to it (we've made a couple of converts/been their first over the years). And even if it's a not our thing reply no one's ever taken the hump or fallen out with us over approaching the subject. To be fair I think attitudes towards swinging are far better than they used to be or we just tend to find ourselves gravitated towards more open minded people. |
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By *mg 321Man 4 weeks ago
Blackpool |
"I like the idea of a universally recognised phrase. Or maybe a secret handshake or dance you'd only know if you were 'in the know'."
I like this idea too. If they knew what it meant and liked you they would reply appropriately. If they didn’t like you they could pretend they didn’t know. If they didn’t know they didn’t know. |
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I go to like one regular event.
The constant I've been asked is 'do you have a FetLife account'
Never been asked about Fab and when I've mentioned it it's been "what's that?"
Maybe I'm going to the wrong event...
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As others have said, the only acceptable place to ask would be in a club or a location where it is known most people are swingers.
Just because someone dresses provocatively, it doesn't mean they are on Fab. Going by this logic, I should have asked a few ladies at my local Wetherspoons last Friday whether they were on Fab...
I also had a very creepy experience recently. Me, my partner and our lady friend have just come out of a club and we were going to our cars that were left at a public car park a short walk from the club. There was a guy there, standing by his car, who started talking to us saying he saw us in the club but was too shy to approach. I couldn't see his face so I couldn't tell whether he was in the club or not, also the club was rather busy that night so I probably wouldn't even see him there anyway. Then the guy asked us if we were on Fab! I was the first one who regained the power of speech, as this question came as a bit of a shock, from, in my eyes, just a random guy who could have, possibly, just been trying his luck instead of actually having been to the club, and I just said "nope" and walked to the car. My partner and our friend followed suit.
So please, OP, don't even dream of asking in "vanilla land". It's only acceptable, in my opinion, at swingers events. |
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By *oxy jWoman 4 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
and how many folk use the word fab in the vanilla world ?? after all its just a normal word ... the answer is simply there is no way of asking other than being to the point...
theres no sign or codeword or symbol never has been never will be real swingers wont want to be pestered by those they are not interested in end off ..
another thing to think about not all swingers are on fab i know loads of couples who just use clubs / private parties
#justmyopinion |
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Ask if they have a,swing hammock in the garden.
If 'yes', make a risque joke and see where it leads!
Obviously only do this with likely targets.
Might even work with some who say no but wish they did have one!
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"I had to do a speech at a presentation the other week. I said fabulous on a few occasions and couldn't help have chuckle to myself when I seen the wife's face. She knew what I was doing 🤣"
Fabulous???
I've always assumed this Fab to be short for fabricated/fabrication! |
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You could keep an eye open for small details like jewellery or tattoos. Ankle bracelets with symbols like ❤️, cock, or even explicitly saying hotwife, or a small ace of spades tattoo. It’s probably better just to lead with “I like your bracelet/tattoo” rather than a direct question about their sexual habits. |
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"In a situation where you think someone is on Fab. Probably from the way they dress or the situation/location, what's your best way to avoid embarrassment? "
Use the secret fab handshake
Shhhhhhhhhhh though it can’t get into public knowledge |
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Code phrases like spy’s during ww2 or the Cold War you say something and they respond if they’re on fab in a set way
Example
An undercover agent was sent to an Irish village and told to make contact with their local man called O’Reilly who knew the code phrase “The birds will be flying high tomorrow.”
He asked someone in the street where he could find Mr O’Reilly and got the answer “Well, there’s O’Reilly the butcher, O’Reilly the postman and sure my own name is O’Reilly.”
The agent decided to take a risk and said: “The birds will be flying high tomorrow.”
“Oh! It’s O’Reilly the spy you’re wanting! He’ll be down in the pub.”
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"Code phrases like spy’s during ww2 or the Cold War you say something and they respond if they’re on fab in a set way
Example
An undercover agent was sent to an Irish village and told to make contact with their local man called O’Reilly who knew the code phrase “The birds will be flying high tomorrow.”
He asked someone in the street where he could find Mr O’Reilly and got the answer “Well, there’s O’Reilly the butcher, O’Reilly the postman and sure my own name is O’Reilly.”
The agent decided to take a risk and said: “The birds will be flying high tomorrow.”
“Oh! It’s O’Reilly the spy you’re wanting! He’ll be down in the pub.”
"
Wasn't it Jones in Wales and "The coracles are rising"? |
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Why didn't I think of that.
What a Fab answer 
