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How to say Hello…
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Ladies / Lassies In particular; scrolling through fab as many single guys do, and I see several contradictory status’s about ‘the opening message’.
Ever eager to learn I take the advice on board but realise if I’m confused the chances are someone else is too.
So;
What’s an ideal opener?
I would’ve thought:
Hello,
Compliment
What you’re looking for,
Offer to swap face pictures if interested,
Conclusion.
But; by status’ seen it’s:
*depending on who you ask
-face pic attached
No niceties, when can you meet,
Telling you what they want but without being pushy.
And that’s it.
Please discuss.
Happy to receive messages for more targeted support 😂 |
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"
What’s an ideal opener?
"
There is no such thing, it all depends who is reading it.
The profile is a lot more important for us, we always look, at it before even opening the message. Too many red flags and the msg is deleted without even opening it.
And if the profile pic is a silhouette we don't even get as far as the profile.
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I would start with reading the person's profile as all your answers should be there (for most women). Most of the time, the profile would say exactly who the person is looking for, and would usually give you some clues what you can talk about in your opening message. A lot of women, for safety reasons mostly, prefer to meet in clubs. If that's not your cup of tea, don't bother messaging those profiles as you'd only get ignored or rejected. |
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I genuinely don't know what people expect. As long as someone has read our profile so knows that they're at least compatible in that respect a simple 'hi' is ok by us. It's what follows that counts.
If someone has read our profile, recognises that we're not a match but has something interesting to say that's ok too. |
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"It’s not our job to teach you how to communicate with us.
Then how do we ever hope to improve?"
This is not advice, this is just life - be yourself.
Allow your personality to shine through. If they like it, good. If they don't, it's not gonna work anyway.
Someone might give you advice, you might run with it and it might be shit advice.
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rtfp - read the full profile!
If you're still unsure, read it again. Expect to get things "worng", the wrong wording for the wrong person on the wrong day, it happens. The only guarantee is if you never send anything, you'll never get a reply! But if you can send a "wong" message, equilly you can send a "right" message, and it be the right thing for the right person on the right day.
Good luck, have fun |
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"It’s not our job to teach you how to communicate with us.
Then how do we ever hope to improve?
This is not advice, this is just life - be yourself.
Allow your personality to shine through. If they like it, good. If they don't, it's not gonna work anyway.
Someone might give you advice, you might run with it and it might be shit advice.
"
Have to agree with this. If someone isn't interested when you are being yourself there's no point being something you're not only for everyone to be disappointed later. |
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By *ee-LiteWoman 8 weeks ago
northampton |
I respond to guys who have read my profile and commented on that - a carefully thought out message always gets a response, even if they’re not what I’m seeking
My thoughts are that if an effort is made in a message, a similar effort will be made in the bedroom  |
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By *oxy jWoman 8 weeks ago
somerset |
"It’s not our job to teach you how to communicate with us. "
100% this if you cant communicate then you stand very little chance on this scene ..... you need to be you social skill are very important |
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As the lady, I have to be attracted to you. You can have sent the most well written, nicest message in the world, but if I take a look at your profile and I'm not attracted to you physically, then unfortunately I'm not going to reply or take things further.
Hypothetically, if I was attracted to you, the message I would reply to:
You've read our profile, and actually read it, not clicked on it a few times, got horny over the content, and think "I'd love a bit of that"
You are compatible to what we have listed we're after, and you can explain how and why without going into full detail about your sex life.
You tell us a bit about you yourself - hobbies, interests, pets etc etc. I don't want to read bravado about how good you apparently are in bed, or what you'd love to do to me etc etc.
Pictures are always good - not cock pics or pictures of you in action with others. I know you have a penis and I know you'll have been with others. I don't need proof of either. Pictures of you enjoying hobbies etc go down better than nudes.
Be witty. Don't just go for the bog standard "hi I'm Joe bloggs, your're fit, I would like to meet X Y Z". Throw a joke in there maybe or something interesting that intrigues me.
C xoxo |
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Start with something short and simple. This usually works wonders:
Oh fair maiden, thine eyes are pools of radiant beauty and thou boobies doth remind me of yonder hills. ‘Tis this weary knights last request to place his mighty sword between thee thighs and make such music as the angels do weep. |
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By *an1978Woman 8 weeks ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
Well you've found your way to the forums, so that is good.
You can use it to find people with shared interests.
Not in a
"Hey I see you like sex, I like sex, let's shag"
Kind of way
But in a
"I saw your post on XYZ and wanted to find out more..."
Kinda way ?
Or am I romanticising/expecting too much.
It is very much a numbers game OP.
You'll do well to stand out in the hundreds of messages in some inboxes.
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I think the secret sauce it three things. Having a good profile, timing and just avoiding a really nasty or cringy opening message with or with out an unattractive cock pic (which is 90% of the time).
When I think about the messages that have had success with us Profile is king. The first thing we check or immediately after reading the message is the profile. Their photos, bio and what others have to say about them paints a picture. And why it's so frustrating when a couple message and we can't see what the guy looks like. Don't get us wrong a good message has value, we've had some lovely well written ones that capture our attention. However sometimes we've looked at the profile and it's not been for us (although we always reply to a really decent message even if its a no thanks). On the flip we've had some very brief hello's and winks, looked at the profile and got back to them.
And timing is a real factor for us. We're busy, not always together and not always looking to swing. So the same profile and message may get a bite off us one day and not the other. It's a bit of an opportunist thing. And that's not always a reflection on them. Sometimes it's people we'd be into, just the timing totally wrong. Yet another time we maybe opportunistically looking to meet that day. However occasionally some profiles and messages are so good get communicating with them with a veiw to arranging something down the line. But we have to be very picky about that or we'd have far more people on the back burner than we'd ever get round to meeting. |
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"Ladies / Lassies In particular; scrolling through fab as many single guys do, and I see several contradictory status’s about ‘the opening message’.
Ever eager to learn I take the advice on board but realise if I’m confused the chances are someone else is too.
So;
What’s an ideal opener?
I would’ve thought:
Hello,
Compliment
What you’re looking for,
Offer to swap face pictures if interested,
Conclusion.
But; by status’ seen it’s:
*depending on who you ask
-face pic attached
No niceties, when can you meet,
Telling you what they want but without being pushy.
And that’s it.
Please discuss.
Happy to receive messages for more targeted support 😂"
As you say everyone’s expectations are different. I would say that taking time to read profiles to see if you have commonalities is a good start. Then a message that is individual to that profile. My pet hate is the cut and paste message which isn’t personalised or relevant
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