FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Does this site actually work?
Does this site actually work?
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community. |
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The site works because you're here using the tools it provides.
The people who use the site are a different matter.
We've been lucky in that almost everyone we've interacted with has been who they claim to be.  |
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I've been here for a few years longer and can confirm that it's possible to meet honest reliable men and others. It does require effort and tailoring your approach, potentially flexed with use of clubs with Fab.
As an open site, there are many people around the world looking for sexual titillation and likely not to tell the truth. Lazy, at home discussions, while gathering wank fodder is successful for many, I presume. Even if not, it doesn't mean that thousands won't try it. |
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It does work op, but relies on how others behave too & unfortunately some flakes and fantasists join along with those who do meet and are who they claim to be.
I'm not sure how the site could police the no shows better really. |
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By *ucka39Man 10 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Sure it works
Given the number of years here myself, I'm still here and has done since joining might be slightly different as people go and new members joining but can vary per town/city
Maybe attend one of the clubs social events |
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I think it works better for some than for others!  But it's better to persevere here than give up entirely. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"The site works because you're here using the tools it provides.
The people who use the site are a different matter.
We've been lucky in that almost everyone we've interacted with has been who they claim to be. "
We’re aware that single men are the largest revenue stream for the owners, so there isn’t really an incentive to regulate their activities here.
In the past we’ve put forward various suggestions that would flag problematic profiles. And we know anecdotally that our experience is shared by many…of course most leave, we’re still here.
It’s interesting that we are blocked from responding to this thread via some links… I presume this was actioned at the moderator level, but just noting that here. |
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Like you OP, we have been on the site over 10 years and only managed 1 meet so now we just use the site for the community and to keep in touch with people we've met at clubs or other locations. |
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As a genuine guy on here for over a year now, I can report that it’s just as difficult finding genuine couples to interact with. The ones I have met have been superb and one in particular have become very good friends.
I think the site takes real effort if you want to make great contacts but it is possible. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Like you OP, we have been on the site over 10 years and only managed 1 meet so now we just use the site for the community and to keep in touch with people we've met at clubs or other locations."
Thanks for sharing your experience here. I think we are going to follow your example. A summer in Cap this year was the turning point for us… wow! |
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"Like you OP, we have been on the site over 10 years and only managed 1 meet so now we just use the site for the community and to keep in touch with people we've met at clubs or other locations.
Thanks for sharing your experience here. I think we are going to follow your example. A summer in Cap this year was the turning point for us… wow! "
....ah now Cap is on another level  |
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I've used this site for over 12 years, and have done very well for meeting likeminded couples, and single ladies. I can honestly say, that I have never failed to turn up for any meet, even though I have been subjected to liars, fakes, flakes and ghosters myself....
The club scene has been a bit of a damp squib for me, and after visiting 8 different clubs, to a total of 19 visits, I won't be visiting any others. I think I am lucky to live in a part of the country with no club locally, so people use Fab 'properly' to meet likeminded others  |
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I struggle getting a reply half the time I don't know if it's my spelling or grammar I get told I'm good looking or i get messages but then i reply and get no messages back I don't understand but I know you popped up as a near me but I was leaving Bridgewater for work so I never messaged as if I was staying id of sent you a message this is the 5th year me being on fab second profile though I just wish I could actually meet like minded people  |
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By *NLOS123Man 10 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
I very much read this as another post saying how poor the behaviour of men is
There are as many couples and woman who waste other peoples times. Maybe not as a number but as a percentage possibly (no stats to back this up)
If you’re ratio of those who actually meet you is that poor maybe you have to look at how you are using the site and carrying out the process of arranging meets with people
There will always be time wasters and fantasists but if it is continually happening to you or to anyone then look at how you are doing things |
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"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community.
I very much read this as another post saying how poor the behaviour of men is
There are as many couples and woman who waste other peoples times. Maybe not as a number but as a percentage possibly (no stats to back this up)
If you’re ratio of those who actually meet you is that poor maybe you have to look at how you are using the site and carrying out the process of arranging meets with people
There will always be time wasters and fantasists but if it is continually happening to you or to anyone then look at how you are doing things "
There you are then - it's all your fault ! |
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By *NLOS123Man 10 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community.
I very much read this as another post saying how poor the behaviour of men is
There are as many couples and woman who waste other peoples times. Maybe not as a number but as a percentage possibly (no stats to back this up)
If you’re ratio of those who actually meet you is that poor maybe you have to look at how you are using the site and carrying out the process of arranging meets with people
There will always be time wasters and fantasists but if it is continually happening to you or to anyone then look at how you are doing things
There you are then - it's all your fault !"
If you read again I didn’t say that but thanks for your input and white knighting
What I said is that we all have a responsibility on how we manage our accounts.
If there is a sign of repetitive behaviour to it then sometimes we need to look at ourselves |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
" There will always be time wasters and fantasists but if it is continually happening to you or to anyone then look at how you are doing things "
That’s primarily why we made the post. And we hear from the genuine single guys that they have similarly poor experiences.
The question is what can be done about it… a negative feedback option would go a long way to dealing with the time wasters. But at this stage, we’re probably just going to hit the clubs.
I see your (new) profile is four months old, and unverified. We genuinely wish you the best of luck with that! |
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By *NLOS123Man 10 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
" There will always be time wasters and fantasists but if it is continually happening to you or to anyone then look at how you are doing things
That’s primarily why we made the post. And we hear from the genuine single guys that they have similarly poor experiences.
The question is what can be done about it… a negative feedback option would go a long way to dealing with the time wasters. But at this stage, we’re probably just going to hit the clubs.
I see your (new) profile is four months old, and unverified. We genuinely wish you the best of luck with that! "
3 verifications and photo verified thank you 🙏 |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
" 3 verifications and photo verified thank you 🙏 "
None published. One of the loopholes here is that a verified couples profile can create and verify any number of self-made profiles, male or female. And folks can choose to withhold verifications from being made public, or published in full.
I am sure you are genuine, but you are in the minority among men here. |
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Hi OP,
I had a quick Look at your profile and you are looking for the most sought after male demographic. The well mannered, hot, young VWE man (and local). Although most men are up against the numbers, the type you seek are the male equivalent of a unicorn and actually have choices themselves.
Mrs OP, you look incredibly hot, but your profile has some gaps and doesn’t really sell you as a couple. Maybe as they get to know you, you are falling short.
Good luck finding your lion. |
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By *NLOS123Man 10 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
" 3 verifications and photo verified thank you 🙏
None published. One of the loopholes here is that a verified couples profile can create and verify any number of self-made profiles, male or female. And folks can choose to withhold verifications from being made public, or published in full.
I am sure you are genuine, but you are in the minority among men here. "
For me this is the issue. There is a verification system. Don’t have any and you’re in the wrong as per your comment to me earlier.
Don’t display them and you’re in the wrong
Display them and then people check out who else you’ve met and won’t meet you (possibly)
Have too many and people won’t meet
There’s not a one stop shop for all answers.
I am not sure it IP addresses are checked to see if people have multiple accounts and personas or even if that’s possible |
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Sometimes its area related as well.....to far for many to travel. |
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It's works, it's just not as easy as we tend to expect. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
" 3 verifications and photo verified thank you 🙏
None published. One of the loopholes here is that a verified couples profile can create and verify any number of self-made profiles, male or female. And folks can choose to withhold verifications from being made public, or published in full.
I am sure you are genuine, but you are in the minority among men here.
For me this is the issue. There is a verification system. Don’t have any and you’re in the wrong as per your comment to me earlier.
Don’t display them and you’re in the wrong
Display them and then people check out who else you’ve met and won’t meet you (possibly)
Have too many and people won’t meet
There’s not a one stop shop for all answers.
I am not sure it IP addresses are checked to see if people have multiple accounts and personas or even if that’s possible "
This isn’t a thread about right or wrong. Principally, it’s an attempt to understand what is happening and why. Then we can discuss what can be done to improve things for genuine people.
You seem very defensive about all this… or maybe just grumpy generally? Either way, achieving so many verifications from single women in four months makes you a statistical outlier in Fab terms. Well done you! |
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Op you say that you think most single men are "tourists" or in a "frustrated relationship" l have not found that to be the case. Over the 10 years or so I have been on Fab, the vast majority of single men I have met have been just that-single.
I think part of the problem with Fabsters who think the site "isn't working", is that some expect Fan members to be constantly meeting new people. Some of us are happy with 1 or 2 regulars friends though. |
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By *NLOS123Man 10 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
" 3 verifications and photo verified thank you 🙏
None published. One of the loopholes here is that a verified couples profile can create and verify any number of self-made profiles, male or female. And folks can choose to withhold verifications from being made public, or published in full.
I am sure you are genuine, but you are in the minority among men here.
For me this is the issue. There is a verification system. Don’t have any and you’re in the wrong as per your comment to me earlier.
Don’t display them and you’re in the wrong
Display them and then people check out who else you’ve met and won’t meet you (possibly)
Have too many and people won’t meet
There’s not a one stop shop for all answers.
I am not sure it IP addresses are checked to see if people have multiple accounts and personas or even if that’s possible
This isn’t a thread about right or wrong. Principally, it’s an attempt to understand what is happening and why. Then we can discuss what can be done to improve things for genuine people.
You seem very defensive about all this… or maybe just grumpy generally? Either way, achieving so many verifications from single women in four months makes you a statistical outlier in Fab terms. Well done you! "
Not grumpy just don’t like it when someone thinks that it is acceptable to question my profile or verifications when I have not asked for it but you seem persistent in commenting on them.
By making a thread you will get other peoples opinion. Whether you agree or disagree it is all part of it.
At no point have I mentioned your verifications or your length of time here or how successful that makes you.
But I genuinely thank you for all the advice you have given me and wish you a happy evening |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Op you say that you think most single men are "tourists" or in a "frustrated relationship" l have not found that to be the case. Over the 10 years or so I have been on Fab, the vast majority of single men I have met have been just that-single.
I think part of the problem with Fabsters who think the site "isn't working", is that some expect Fan members to be constantly meeting new people. Some of us are happy with 1 or 2 regulars friends though. "
If the site is working for you then we are delighted. It’s certainly possible to meet genuine people here. Our experiences have been somewhat different, but we joined thinking we would find 1-2 regular friends… but this thread is about improving things (our approach or the site itself) for those who find it challenging. |
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"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
Such a sad thing to read when some of us try and try to get a meet
Hey ho it is what it is |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Hi OP,
I had a quick Look at your profile and you are looking for the most sought after male demographic. The well mannered, hot, young VWE man (and local). Although most men are up against the numbers, the type you seek are the male equivalent of a unicorn and actually have choices themselves.
Mrs OP, you look incredibly hot, but your profile has some gaps and doesn’t really sell you as a couple. Maybe as they get to know you, you are falling short.
Good luck finding your lion. "
Thanks for your feedback. For the first five years here we had a very full profile, both in terms of text and photos. We scaled back after a series of very disappointing experiences.
And while it is true we are looking for something specific, that doesn’t change the fact that the site is prone to time wasters and fakes. This thread is about sharing that experience and asking what can be done to improve matters. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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It can be difficult, my wife has been totally put off swinging, due to time wasters , even to the point of providing a post code but no actual address, also dirty houses that we have turned round and left on arrival, dirty house dirty people in our opinion, and people providing photos that are at least 10yrs old and extremely flattering lol , we have had some great times with some great people so the site can and does work , it’s just a people thing , happy fabbing peeps 🤞 |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"It can be difficult, my wife has been totally put off swinging, due to time wasters , even to the point of providing a post code but no actual address, also dirty houses that we have turned round and left on arrival, dirty house dirty people in our opinion, and people providing photos that are at least 10yrs old and extremely flattering lol , we have had some great times with some great people so the site can and does work , it’s just a people thing , happy fabbing peeps 🤞"
Can confirm… |
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The site works well but you have to know how to use it.
If you are frequently being ghosted then you need to change the way that you validate someone is who they say they are - that’s really a you thing.
If you are just going on pictures and “banter” then you will struggle to get genuine males. |
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We also experience a lot of timewasters unfortunately, it is what is is.
Generally whenever we upload new content there's a spike in interest and lot of messages/winks etc from profiles we've not spoken to before. All seem keen to chat/meet however it usually falls off a cliff very quickly when one of two things (sometimes both) occur:
1) it's the male on the couples account and they want to meet me, the female, alone which I don't and won't do for anyone. Or they are very clear they want a full swap or me to participate in bi play with the female, which if they'd read our profile instead of getting hot under the collar of some of our content they'd realise both are not happening.
2) we can't "meet now". I swear some people think this is a hookup site and everyone on here is easy and willing to meet to fuck after a couple of messages.
C xoxo |
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"Op you say that you think most single men are "tourists" or in a "frustrated relationship" l have not found that to be the case. Over the 10 years or so I have been on Fab, the vast majority of single men I have met have been just that-single.
I think part of the problem with Fabsters who think the site "isn't working", is that some expect Fan members to be constantly meeting new people. Some of us are happy with 1 or 2 regulars friends though.
If the site is working for you then we are delighted. It’s certainly possible to meet genuine people here. Our experiences have been somewhat different, but we joined thinking we would find 1-2 regular friends… but this thread is about improving things (our approach or the site itself) for those who find it challenging. "
It does not say that in your original post though does it?
You say
"So what's going wrong?"
And
"But I wondered what experiences other Fabsters have had"
I have given you a snippet of my experiences on Fab but you have made me feel like I have jumped on a thread that I am not allowed to comment on.
You come across as very judgemental to single men in your original post.
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Op you say that you think most single men are "tourists" or in a "frustrated relationship" l have not found that to be the case. Over the 10 years or so I have been on Fab, the vast majority of single men I have met have been just that-single.
I think part of the problem with Fabsters who think the site "isn't working", is that some expect Fan members to be constantly meeting new people. Some of us are happy with 1 or 2 regulars friends though.
If the site is working for you then we are delighted. It’s certainly possible to meet genuine people here. Our experiences have been somewhat different, but we joined thinking we would find 1-2 regular friends… but this thread is about improving things (our approach or the site itself) for those who find it challenging.
It does not say that in your original post though does it?
You say
"So what's going wrong?"
And
"But I wondered what experiences other Fabsters have had"
I have given you a snippet of my experiences on Fab but you have made me feel like I have jumped on a thread that I am not allowed to comment on.
You come across as very judgemental to single men in your original post.
"
We have given a very full and genuine account of our experiences here, primarily when looking to meet single guys. We have also made clear that we believe genuine guys are active here, but that (in our experience) they are in the minority.
Your opinion is very welcome … and again, I am delighted the site is working for you. But it isn’t for everyone… as other comments here attest. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"We also experience a lot of timewasters unfortunately, it is what is is.
Generally whenever we upload new content there's a spike in interest and lot of messages/winks etc from profiles we've not spoken to before. All seem keen to chat/meet however it usually falls off a cliff very quickly when one of two things (sometimes both) occur:
1) it's the male on the couples account and they want to meet me, the female, alone which I don't and won't do for anyone. Or they are very clear they want a full swap or me to participate in bi play with the female, which if they'd read our profile instead of getting hot under the collar of some of our content they'd realise both are not happening.
2) we can't "meet now". I swear some people think this is a hookup site and everyone on here is easy and willing to meet to fuck after a couple of messages.
C xoxo"
This completely accords with our experience too… thank you for sharing!
Being based just off the M5, we get a large number of guys messaging us suggesting a meet as they head to Devon, Cornwall, etc… even though we can’t accommodate and (like most here) have busy lives. Maybe we should open a drive through Starfucks? |
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Well as a single fella I'll put my spoke in, now I can't speak for others only myself - I spend most of the time being blanked/deleted/left in the no mans land of read but not responded or deleted that I've come to the conclusion either I'm so niche that I don't fit with anyone or everyone's a fake.
I live an awkward distance away from a lot of the 'happening' clubs which necessitates an overnight, personal circumstances require negotiation with neighbours to look after cats (I try not to push that too far).
So I'm back to swinging (pun) from wild optimism to depression, but still I'm here. Don't know why perhaps I like abuse
This was a tongue in cheek post before someone gets on their high horse  |
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It's a temporary "work" most on here are only looking for a moment because they've never experienced anything consistent. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"The site works well but you have to know how to use it.
If you are frequently being ghosted then you need to change the way that you validate someone is who they say they are - that’s really a you thing.
If you are just going on pictures and “banter” then you will struggle to get genuine males."
We’re not seduced by pictures and banter. Published verifications are the first tick box, followed by an open demeanour. But we’ve been stood up multiple times by really well verified guys… so many in fact, these days we send them a photo of the drinks receipt at the agreed venue and time.
May I ask… how do the couples you meet validate you? |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Well as a single fella I'll put my spoke in, now I can't speak for others only myself - I spend most of the time being blanked/deleted/left in the no mans land of read but not responded or deleted that I've come to the conclusion either I'm so niche that I don't fit with anyone or everyone's a fake.
I live an awkward distance away from a lot of the 'happening' clubs which necessitates an overnight, personal circumstances require negotiation with neighbours to look after cats (I try not to push that too far).
So I'm back to swinging (pun) from wild optimism to depression, but still I'm here. Don't know why perhaps I like abuse
This was a tongue in cheek post before someone gets on their high horse "
Thanks for sharing. You are not alone. We hear from many guys who have had similar experiences. And the problem for both couples and single guys is that it is easy to become cynical. I guess we’re all here still because horny trumps pessimism! |
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Hi OP, I think the ‘tool’ itself is good, pictures, profile blurb, verifications, checks, validations etc. there’s not much more to improve the Fab site for meeting other than (and this my own opinion) to put it entirely behind a paywall. My filters don’t allow anyone without Silver and Gold to contact me and this spares me from a lot of phoney interaction.
What I think has changed is society / culture - there are a growing number that struggle to transfer from an online sex life to actually meeting. They enjoy the energy that comes from online interaction and messaging but panic about the stress of actually physically meeting and can’t go through with it. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Hi OP, I think the ‘tool’ itself is good, pictures, profile blurb, verifications, checks, validations etc. there’s not much more to improve the Fab site for meeting other than (and this my own opinion) to put it entirely behind a paywall. My filters don’t allow anyone without Silver and Gold to contact me and this spares me from a lot of phoney interaction.
What I think has changed is society / culture - there are a growing number that struggle to transfer from an online sex life to actually meeting. They enjoy the energy that comes from online interaction and messaging but panic about the stress of actually physically meeting and can’t go through with it. "
Agree 100%…
The improvement to Fab we are keen on is negative feedback. It would need to be aggregated to avoid a single profile skewing the rating, but repeat offenders would become visible. There is also an argument that new profiles can only receive messages for the first month… it would eliminate most of the day-trippers. |
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Nobody would suggest that Fab is perfect, but there seems minimal agreement on how it should be reformed. A significant issue is the extent to which dissatisfaction is inevitably subjective.
Although I have often clubbed and played as half of an MF couple, these have always been informal pairings. So, never having Fabbed via a couple profile, I'm not qualified to comment.
I certainly do know about the challenges of being a single male. But...
Problems?
I'm very old, not at all fit, with the smallest willy in the West Country and a face like the northern end of a southbound camel. Despite all that, I can't complain. I'm very familiar with the difficulty that single men routinely have in securing meetings. I just don't recognise it, because it's not at all been my own experience.
Anyhow, my point is that we're all different. Whatever delivers results for one couple or individual won't necessarily work for anyone else. If you have problems, ask for help. Consider all of the advice you receive, but don't alter your approach unless you're completely comfortable with the change. You have to stay true to yourself. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Nobody would suggest that Fab is perfect, but there seems minimal agreement on how it should be reformed. A significant issue is the extent to which dissatisfaction is inevitably subjective.
Although I have often clubbed and played as half of an MF couple, these have always been informal pairings. So, never having Fabbed via a couple profile, I'm not qualified to comment.
I certainly do know about the challenges of being a single male. But...
Problems?
I'm very old, not at all fit, with the smallest willy in the West Country and a face like the northern end of a southbound camel. Despite all that, I can't complain. I'm very familiar with the difficulty that single men routinely have in securing meetings. I just don't recognise it, because it's not at all been my own experience.
Anyhow, my point is that we're all different. Whatever delivers results for one couple or individual won't necessarily work for anyone else. If you have problems, ask for help. Consider all of the advice you receive, but don't alter your approach unless you're completely comfortable with the change. You have to stay true to yourself. "
Thanks. Our approach is more cautious than the early days, but we are still quite open when we dialogue with someone new. That said, I think the problems are not necessarily subjective. Being ghosted, or stood up, for example, are not subjective. A means by which this behaviour could be noted against a profile would improve things for everyone… single guys AND couples. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Works well for me. "
So I see… you can ignore this thread then. |
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Fab is just a tool to.use to meet people. The problem.is people, not Fab.
I go to clubs be it alone or with my wife, I / we get results. I / we use fab and we get no results.
Attraction isn't a few photos and a few messages. It's meeting the people and seeing if you click.
And since very fee acctually want to meet through fab let alone even message with the end to meet...pointless using fab for anything other than events/ keeping in touch with those we have met. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Fab is just a tool to.use to meet people. The problem.is people, not Fab.
I go to clubs be it alone or with my wife, I / we get results. I / we use fab and we get no results.
Attraction isn't a few photos and a few messages. It's meeting the people and seeing if you click.
And since very fee acctually want to meet through fab let alone even message with the end to meet...pointless using fab for anything other than events/ keeping in touch with those we have met. "
Sadly, we would agree. Obviously it is marketed quite differently. |
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By *959femxCouple 10 weeks ago
Weston super mare |
"We also experience a lot of timewasters unfortunately, it is what is is.
Generally whenever we upload new content there's a spike in interest and lot of messages/winks etc from profiles we've not spoken to before. All seem keen to chat/meet however it usually falls off a cliff very quickly when one of two things (sometimes both) occur:
1) it's the male on the couples account and they want to meet me, the female, alone which I don't and won't do for anyone. Or they are very clear they want a full swap or me to participate in bi play with the female, which if they'd read our profile instead of getting hot under the collar of some of our content they'd realise both are not happening.
2) we can't "meet now". I swear some people think this is a hookup site and everyone on here is easy and willing to meet to fuck after a couple of messages.
C xoxo
This completely accords with our experience too… thank you for sharing!
Being based just off the M5, we get a large number of guys messaging us suggesting a meet as they head to Devon, Cornwall, etc… even though we can’t accommodate and (like most here) have busy lives. Maybe we should open a drive through Starfucks? "
Loving this comment ✅ could I suggest maybe a sister site “ Quick fucks are us “ .
( Time limited offer ) 😂 |
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Sorry to things aren't working out for you, OP - it can be frustrating!
We've been here over 10 years, had a couple of previous profiles and our approach changed as we became more experienced and confident. This has lead to a huge increase in no-shows, ghosts and last minute "my nan was abducted by aliens". When we first joined, we'd only use fab on a weekend evening, usually after we'd had a couple of drinks and felt a bit adventurous. In those days, finding a guy to meet there and then was pretty easy! Don't think we were let down once.
Then we changed tact, tried to develop a rapport beforehand, planned meets in advance etc. Lots of interesting guys, all very well verified, yet most of those meets never happened.
A few years ago, we bumped into a guy who let us down, at an event and decided to straight up ask what the problem was - he said he felt intimidated by us, and was worried that after all the conversations he'd never live up to what we had imagined in our heads. It was a reasonable, if incorrect, view - but it definitely helped us change our approach.
Now, we tend to keep the preamble chats to a minimum and save it for (if/when) we meet. So far, it's working quite well, although admittedly we've walked away from a few guys due to them not passing the vibe check.
Also, we now avoid the really well verified, popular guys for several reasons: those verifications tend to come with an ego, and they always get a better offer.
Keep the faith and best of luck! ❤️ |
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"Works well for me.
So I see… you can ignore this thread then. "
Yeah, I probably will. But not yet. I answered the threads’ question. You got good advice from people. Maybe reconsider your selection process if you’re getting loads of time wasters. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Loving this comment ✅ could I suggest maybe a sister site “ Quick fucks are us “ .
( Time limited offer ) 😂"
And if the toys don’t work there’s always DIY
D and queue
Hoebase
😉 |
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By *oxy jWoman 10 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
its by far the best site on the internet and for couples and women it works if they can find others they are sexually attracted to and compatibility the hard bit is finding the match and avoiding the fakes n dreamer...
for guys its a different story for most they will simply get no where and its down to the fact that they outdo couples and women by silly percentages and more flood it daily meaning simple maths will tell you most wont stand a chance .... then add in all the fakes /wankers / dreamer and those who pretend to be couples n women then men have it all againts them from the moment they join...
the scene is changing more private parties now like there was 30 years ago only those in the know will know and hardly any men .... we go to private parties but at the end of the day i like and need guys more so my little black book or fab is great for me but im very fussy sexual attraction is a must before compatibility and that rules out 99% or more... |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Works well for me.
So I see… you can ignore this thread then.
Yeah, I probably will. But not yet. I answered the threads’ question. You got good advice from people. Maybe reconsider your selection process if you’re getting loads of time wasters. "
Genuinely… how? We only chat with verified guys who have published verifications. Aren’t they supposed to be reliable? We always confirm the date and place ahead of the meeting. We always send them a picture of us that verifies we are genuine. What else can we do? We’re not alone in this here… many couples have the same experiences. |
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We first joined over ten years ago. The site is DEFINITELY worse than it used to be !. Many fakes, timewasters, fantasists, pic collectors and if you get past them there's the ghosters and no-shows. Incredibly difficult now to find genuine folk who are suitable with attraction on both sides too !  |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"We first joined over ten years ago. The site is DEFINITELY worse than it used to be !. Many fakes, timewasters, fantasists, pic collectors and if you get past them there's the ghosters and no-shows. Incredibly difficult now to find genuine folk who are suitable with attraction on both sides too ! "
Our experience too… but apparently our selection process is at fault!
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"
…
Now, we tend to keep the preamble chats to a minimum and save it for (if/when) we meet. So far, it's working quite well, although admittedly we've walked away from a few guys due to them not passing the vibe check.
…
"
I think that is an important observation. I find that people who are serious about meeting will want to get a social date arranged quite quickly. The actual date may be sometime away, due to diaries. But people who don’t talk dates relatively early on usually never do.
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"
…
Now, we tend to keep the preamble chats to a minimum and save it for (if/when) we meet. So far, it's working quite well, although admittedly we've walked away from a few guys due to them not passing the vibe check.
…
I think that is an important observation. I find that people who are serious about meeting will want to get a social date arranged quite quickly. The actual date may be sometime away, due to diaries. But people who don’t talk dates relatively early on usually never do.
"
We usually push for a meeting within five or six messages. If they blink, we deprioritise them.
Admittedly, some Fabbers have specific interests and sometimes it’s important to establish common ground ahead of a social/meet, but we tend to avoid lengthy conversations about fantasy scenarios.
None of this has made any difference to the outcome. |
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By *oxy jWoman 10 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
theres a large group of swingers i think the majority mainly couples who dont do socials they just meet n play after several messages and pics most swinging couples we know do this most couples dont get time for socials ... very few get let down ..
us/me if im arranging a play meet/social its organized within 5 to 7 day or its not happening ive zero interest in long term planning thats where 99% of your messers are .... also if you keep getting messed around then you have to look at why why are you always being messed around maybe change the way you look for people ... ive had this chat with many of our friends and most of us just dont get messers and we all meet regularly ... it also seem as most the couples who get messed around are male led couples dont know if that anything to do with it or not ...
i cant _emember our last letdown got to be 7 or 8 years ago now but i guess 30 +++ years on the scene gives you more senses to bullshit maybe |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Sorry to things aren't working out for you, OP - it can be frustrating!
We've been here over 10 years, had a couple of previous profiles and our approach changed as we became more experienced and confident. This has lead to a huge increase in no-shows, ghosts and last minute "my nan was abducted by aliens". When we first joined, we'd only use fab on a weekend evening, usually after we'd had a couple of drinks and felt a bit adventurous. In those days, finding a guy to meet there and then was pretty easy! Don't think we were let down once.
Then we changed tact, tried to develop a rapport beforehand, planned meets in advance etc. Lots of interesting guys, all very well verified, yet most of those meets never happened.
A few years ago, we bumped into a guy who let us down, at an event and decided to straight up ask what the problem was - he said he felt intimidated by us, and was worried that after all the conversations he'd never live up to what we had imagined in our heads. It was a reasonable, if incorrect, view - but it definitely helped us change our approach.
Now, we tend to keep the preamble chats to a minimum and save it for (if/when) we meet. So far, it's working quite well, although admittedly we've walked away from a few guys due to them not passing the vibe check.
Also, we now avoid the really well verified, popular guys for several reasons: those verifications tend to come with an ego, and they always get a better offer.
Keep the faith and best of luck! ❤️"
Thanks for sharing your experience here. It’s clear we’re not alone.
We too have reviewed our process over the years, but I think now we are going to move forward with club meets.
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It’s been an interesting read…some of it seems a bit scratchy and defensive and other parts quite rational but overall it feels like the consensus is that there are just too many people (men!) on the site to make it functional. My own experience is that when I first joined up 12 years ago it was a lot easier to make a connection with a single woman. I think fab was a lot more fun back then and I know that age, height, receding hair, normal looks etc have all made me less attractive these days and more reliant on personality and banter which sometimes is hard to maintain when fab feels like a desert! I guess as I am not a hardened swinger, just someone who likes good sex, I shouldn’t really be on fab but there really isn’t any other site that I have found where you are guaranteed a sense of adventure in the bedroom, great outdoors, or wherever takes your fancy! |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
Just looking through these comments… it seems that 44% have experienced similar difficulties to us, and 56% have found success here.
I suspect the success stories are due to location and availability, coupled with developing a local network, perhaps through clubs and private parties.
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I've been on here for over 2 years and yet to meet anyone..Yes I have been close and then everything goes quiet, it could be nerves get the better of the couple or they received a better offer, either way that's their choice...I certainly don't take it to heart.. |
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Forgive my ignorance, as I’ve not read every message on the thread, so this may have been mentioned.
I was only talking about this with a friend on here, and we said that definitely over the last 12 months, it’s not as it was. I’ve seen a difference since Covid, but is it an age thing?
Being a single male here has always been uphill, I believe a straight one more so, but the scene in my experience is less transparent theses days. We use to meet for fun, and if you got on, perhaps you’d meet again, it was a sexual experience that was craved on here. My next point isn’t to show I’d play with anyone, there has to be a connection somewhere, but too many on here want marriage material, and the name of the site gives it away to what brought the majority of the longer established people here.
The site works, but not like it use to basically.
Tin hat on! |
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By *oxy jWoman 10 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
"Forgive my ignorance, as I’ve not read every message on the thread, so this may have been mentioned.
I was only talking about this with a friend on here, and we said that definitely over the last 12 months, it’s not as it was. I’ve seen a difference since Covid, but is it an age thing?
Being a single male here has always been uphill, I believe a straight one more so, but the scene in my experience is less transparent theses days. We use to meet for fun, and if you got on, perhaps you’d meet again, it was a sexual experience that was craved on here. My next point isn’t to show I’d play with anyone, there has to be a connection somewhere, but too many on here want marriage material, and the name of the site gives it away to what brought the majority of the longer established people here.
The site works, but not like it use to basically.
Tin hat on!"
been on this scene 30+++ years and i dont know of any couples or women who would play with anyone its always been sexual attraction first and then compatibility theirs no chance im fucking anyone never have never will and i seek sexual partners only...
its always men that suggest that women / couples are too picky i wonder why that is ??? any hole a goal as long as its wet is generally a mans thing ...not all but enought |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Forgive my ignorance, as I’ve not read every message on the thread, so this may have been mentioned.
I was only talking about this with a friend on here, and we said that definitely over the last 12 months, it’s not as it was. I’ve seen a difference since Covid, but is it an age thing?
Being a single male here has always been uphill, I believe a straight one more so, but the scene in my experience is less transparent theses days. We use to meet for fun, and if you got on, perhaps you’d meet again, it was a sexual experience that was craved on here. My next point isn’t to show I’d play with anyone, there has to be a connection somewhere, but too many on here want marriage material, and the name of the site gives it away to what brought the majority of the longer established people here.
The site works, but not like it use to basically.
Tin hat on!"
We would agree. And the problem is not limited to Fab… we live in a post-truth era, apparently. Nothing is what it seems, and some people live vicariously through their fantasy-self… be they influencers or OF stars. It’s similar here.
I guess my post was an attempt to measure our experiences against others. |
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"Forgive my ignorance, as I’ve not read every message on the thread, so this may have been mentioned.
I was only talking about this with a friend on here, and we said that definitely over the last 12 months, it’s not as it was. I’ve seen a difference since Covid, but is it an age thing?
Being a single male here has always been uphill, I believe a straight one more so, but the scene in my experience is less transparent theses days. We use to meet for fun, and if you got on, perhaps you’d meet again, it was a sexual experience that was craved on here. My next point isn’t to show I’d play with anyone, there has to be a connection somewhere, but too many on here want marriage material, and the name of the site gives it away to what brought the majority of the longer established people here.
The site works, but not like it use to basically.
Tin hat on!
We would agree. And the problem is not limited to Fab… we live in a post-truth era, apparently. Nothing is what it seems, and some people live vicariously through their fantasy-self… be they influencers or OF stars. It’s similar here.
I guess my post was an attempt to measure our experiences against others. "
Funny, I was just thinking that one of the big changes I have seen is the increase in ‘content creators’ on the site. |
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By *oxy jWoman 10 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
most of the guys i/we meet have come from meeting them at clubs and then exchanging phone numbers leading to private meets and before there were local clubs it was the dogging world (bristol/bath) as nearest club back then was west midlands as there was no real internet sites then either ... fab was alway for us just a different avenue id say from the time we used fab (from the first week of its arrival) less than 10% of men we meet / met have come from fab ...
i think as a couple the worse thing anyone can do is put all your eggs in one basket we do a club once a month |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"most of the guys i/we meet have come from meeting them at clubs and then exchanging phone numbers leading to private meets and before there were local clubs it was the dogging world (bristol/bath) as nearest club back then was west midlands as there was no real internet sites then either ... fab was alway for us just a different avenue id say from the time we used fab (from the first week of its arrival) less than 10% of men we meet / met have come from fab ...
i think as a couple the worse thing anyone can do is put all your eggs in one basket we do a club once a month "
That’s good advice, thanks. We’ve attended a few clubs over the years, but nothing regularly. That seems to be the key… |
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it works for us. We met on here. We have met some lovely people who have become our friends. We have met some then gone our separate ways, and we;ve encountered some complete and utter idiots and time wasters.
Best not to take it too seriously. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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It does work but for guys it's really a waiting game and you need a thick skin especially if your not 6',tonned and have a 9"cock. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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Is sending winks totally pointless ? |
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It worked for us before covid now not so much.
Their is definitely a big increase in fantasists and people just wanting a quick wank which is why we have now set filters and we prefer to meet single bi men at events and clubs.
I can't _emember the last time we actually used fab for meeting new couples or singles we tend to now just use it for group social meets and club events.
Their are definitely nice genuine single men on fab sadly they are very outnumbered by the fakes and timewasters. |
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"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
We have found the site to be quite reliable. Have only been stood up once and every meet we have arranged has turned up and have had nothing but a wonderful experience. Don’t give up hope, statistically speaking you are due a wonderful date  |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"It does work but for guys it's really a waiting game and you need a thick skin especially if your not 6',tonned and have a 9"cock."
Agreed. And from the couple’s standpoint: every time we post a picture we get 100+ messages from guys who either haven’t read the (very brief) profile, or perhaps think our preferences should be no obstacle to an encounter. Clubs are surely the best way… but in the past, when attending Xtasia (for example) most guys have been too nervous to approach us. It’s not a turn-on… |
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"I struggle getting a reply half the time I don't know if it's my spelling or grammar I get told I'm good looking or i get messages but then i reply and get no messages back... ...I just wish I could actually meet like minded people "
•
I can assure you it's not your "spelling or grammar"... ... ... ☮️ |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community.
We have found the site to be quite reliable. Have only been stood up once and every meet we have arranged has turned up and have had nothing but a wonderful experience. Don’t give up hope, statistically speaking you are due a wonderful date "
Thanks! |
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
" 3 verifications and photo verified thank you 🙏
None published. One of the loopholes here is that a verified couples profile can create and verify any number of self-made profiles, male or female. And folks can choose to withhold verifications from being made public, or published in full.
I am sure you are genuine, but you are in the minority among men here.
For me this is the issue. There is a verification system. Don’t have any and you’re in the wrong as per your comment to me earlier.
Don’t display them and you’re in the wrong
Display them and then people check out who else you’ve met and won’t meet you (possibly)
Have too many and people won’t meet
There’s not a one stop shop for all answers.
I am not sure it IP addresses are checked to see if people have multiple accounts and personas or even if that’s possible
This isn’t a thread about right or wrong. Principally, it’s an attempt to understand what is happening and why. Then we can discuss what can be done to improve things for genuine people.
You seem very defensive about all this… or maybe just grumpy generally? Either way, achieving so many verifications from single women in four months makes you a statistical outlier in Fab terms. Well done you! "
OP I've lived in Somerset for a dozen years now.
Never had a problem meeting. Either locals or people from further away.
The site works. You just need to use it the right way. 🤷♂️ |
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By *w214Couple 10 weeks ago
Wirral |
Hey, were in the decade club too! Most of the problems here we've never experienced because we only meet at clubs and parties.
We rarely commit to anyone ahead of time, we just see who we vibe with. We've had a couple of poor experiences at both clubs and parties.
But on the whole they, and therefore our experience of using this site to meet others for sex, have been excellent. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
" OP I've lived in Somerset for a dozen years now.
Never had a problem meeting. Either locals or people from further away.
The site works. You just need to use it the right way. 🤷♂️ "
Yes… a several people have said that, but never seem to specify what the ‘right way’ might be. |
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By *oxy jWoman 10 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
" OP I've lived in Somerset for a dozen years now.
Never had a problem meeting. Either locals or people from further away.
The site works. You just need to use it the right way. 🤷♂️
Yes… a several people have said that, but never seem to specify what the ‘right way’ might be. "
to be bluntly honest the right way will always be your own way your rules dont ever be tempted to change from your way neither its about you 2 nobody else unless someone fits the puzzle 10 years on this scene is not alot when you take in the covid years and how its not the same since ... if a guy has to jump thru hoops to meet you then hes not your guy |
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
" OP I've lived in Somerset for a dozen years now.
Never had a problem meeting. Either locals or people from further away.
The site works. You just need to use it the right way. 🤷♂️
Yes… a several people have said that, but never seem to specify what the ‘right way’ might be. "
OK. Here's my take.
You can help yourself by making sure people can get a vague idea if you're likely to be someone that they might want to meet. That means a detailed bio and a variety of photos - of both of you if you're a couple.
Being proactive helps. Don't sit back and wait for people to approach you. Sure, as a couple looking for men you'll get plenty of attention, but is it from people you'd actually consider meeting? Likely not. So go and browse yourselves, send winks and messages to those that catch your eye. You'll at least then be more likely to be engaging with those you've an initial interest in.
And if you can't accomodate then that's your choice, but it will limit your options. Many will be in the same boat, which means hotels or clubs - both of which come with an added expense.
Don't rely purely on Fab to find company. There's plenty of options for organised events, socials and club trips where you can meet people face to face with no commitment. Honestly the best way to get to know people.
Fab is just one part of many options to boost your chances of enjoying the scene. Not the sum of it. 🤷♂️ |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
" OP I've lived in Somerset for a dozen years now.
Never had a problem meeting. Either locals or people from further away.
The site works. You just need to use it the right way. 🤷♂️
Yes… a several people have said that, but never seem to specify what the ‘right way’ might be.
OK. Here's my take.
You can help yourself by making sure people can get a vague idea if you're likely to be someone that they might want to meet. That means a detailed bio and a variety of photos - of both of you if you're a couple.
Being proactive helps. Don't sit back and wait for people to approach you. Sure, as a couple looking for men you'll get plenty of attention, but is it from people you'd actually consider meeting? Likely not. So go and browse yourselves, send winks and messages to those that catch your eye. You'll at least then be more likely to be engaging with those you've an initial interest in.
And if you can't accomodate then that's your choice, but it will limit your options. Many will be in the same boat, which means hotels or clubs - both of which come with an added expense.
Don't rely purely on Fab to find company. There's plenty of options for organised events, socials and club trips where you can meet people face to face with no commitment. Honestly the best way to get to know people.
Fab is just one part of many options to boost your chances of enjoying the scene. Not the sum of it. 🤷♂️"
What you have described is the approach we took here for the first five years: a detailed and good humoured biography, plenty of photos, including hubby too. We proactively searched, we messaged, we winked, we offered to video chat, but only ever with fully verified profiles. The results of that approach have listed in my opening comment.
A young family has prevented us hosting (not a choice) but even when that has been possible it hasn’t changed the outcome.
It seems clear that clubs are the way forward… thanks for your input!
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By *ee69Man 10 weeks ago
glasgow |
Been ghosted on here many a time , use it as best you can as a tool , end of day it the other folk using it and your luck , rather than the site itself |
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"Works well for me.
So I see… you can ignore this thread then.
Yeah, I probably will. But not yet. I answered the threads’ question. You got good advice from people. Maybe reconsider your selection process if you’re getting loads of time wasters. "
You're completely missing other factors here.
Things like location and population density play a part. You for example are in Brighton yes? Brighton alone has a population of 280k people or there abouts AND a high turn over of visitors to the area. I for example live in Darlington. Less than 100k people and is not by any stretch of the imagination a tourist destination.
I have (if I search a 20.mile radius) a total of about 50 single female accounts who have been active in the last 7 days (quite a few of whom I know through clubs anyway). There's at least 2000 active men today alone though.
We can sit and argue it's a person's "selection" process all we want but that's not really the issue. Its just part of the issue.
I'm surrounded by a lot of countryside and I wouldn't change it for the world...but that means less people to interact unless I'm willing to travel 20 or more miles.
I do fine at clubs with or without my wife. I don't do fine on fab be it on this account or my couples account. We get nothing on here anymore. Its not complaining, it's just reality.
The math isn't in our favour anymore than its in other people's favour depending where they live.
We can't always assume it's the other parties fault when they may not have the options others have.
If you live in a heavily populated area then you're going to have more options than someone who does not when it comes to fab.
So the only solution is to go where the swingers are....and for me..that's clubs amd I can only assume that will be the same for a lot of others as well.
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As a single male that’s been on the site for several years now, it’s only the last year or so that I meets have actually started to happen.
As I think someone else has said, you get ignored, or people back out when it comes to arranging a meet, I’ve have even had a few occasions where I have arrived a meet and no one has shown and just blocked me. I recently had a meet with a couple and when chatting with them was surprised how they often they found guys would back out last min or not even arrive at all.
I think the reasons I am having more success now, is partly that I understand the site and scene a lot more so can spot the more genuine people better. I also make it clear from the start without being pushy that ultimately I am looking to meet, but happy to chat give the other person time and work on there terms.
I think a lot of people back out last min. or even just don’t arrive as suddenly they feel the pressure of what might be expected. So when arranging a first meet I’ve found that discussing and agreeing your intentions, and what you would all like to get out of the meet, but make it know there are no expectations and it’s ok to change your mind once you are there. I have found doing this has resulted in more meets actually happening in the first, most of which have actually ended up going somewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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No, well not for me anyway. |
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Definitely does not work that well for me either lots chat and say they want to meet then at last minute change their minds or were not wha tand who they said they were in their profile
I just want to meet people who understand you can stil be active and enjoy fun being a wheelchair user |
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By *oxy jWoman 10 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
i forgot to add those few men ive met from fab were me messaging first guys whom i sought out as thinking wow hot and messaging first those guys were not only hot but had very detailed profiles and could communicate ... that something missing from most guys they simply cant communicate / socialize |
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seems to be more and more fake couples and timewasters |
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By *AB74Man 10 weeks ago
Midlands |
It definitely works because I've had a few meets but it seems to be getting harder and definitely a lot more fake profiles, Can see them a mile off. |
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I think fab is a decent site to use. But I wouldn’t solely rely on it for meeting others. As you are relying on others far too much.
I’d rather use fab as a more social tool and go to clubs x |
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It works perfectly well if you are clear about what you are looking for, and read the profile of those you might want to meet. Look also at any verifications they have displayed.
Think then about how you have presented your self or your selves in your "front window '. Would you be attracted to what you see there?
Get some good photos photos done. Raunchy if that is how you want to present to the world or more subtle.
Tell your story on your page just how you want to appeal to those you want to meet. Think advertising!
Then harden yourself to timewasters. Don't be nasty about them most are dreamers and we can all dream.
Then enjoy the meets with the genuine people on here.
Single guys. The same applies just _emember not to pester, probably best to let the couples or women approach you. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 10 weeks ago
Somerset |
"It works perfectly well if you are clear about what you are looking for, and read the profile of those you might want to meet. Look also at any verifications they have displayed.
Think then about how you have presented your self or your selves in your "front window '. Would you be attracted to what you see there?
Get some good photos photos done. Raunchy if that is how you want to present to the world or more subtle.
Tell your story on your page just how you want to appeal to those you want to meet. Think advertising!
Then harden yourself to timewasters. Don't be nasty about them most are dreamers and we can all dream.
Then enjoy the meets with the genuine people on here.
Single guys. The same applies just _emember not to pester, probably best to let the couples or women approach you. "
We’ve done all of this… and a few things you haven’t mentioned. But our experiences have not been good, and we are not alone… roughly 45% of others here have experienced the same. |
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By *JandCMCouple 10 weeks ago
cardiff |
We have never had a problem with guys not turning up n we're not exactly the youngest or best looking couple on here.
Normally get a feel for who's real n not on the phone.
But then again we're not into the social meeting side of things.
If we plan a meet then it's a meet for sex not a drink or chat n we let it be known, wife isn't interested too much in that side of things, as she said she knows what this site is about n if she wants a drink n a chat she'll meet a regular friend.
We have had a few people have to cancel, but they have always let us know beforehand n we have rearrange it.
Wonder if that maybe the reason some people don't, maybe there nervous about meeting to talk about it n maybe the thought of maybe being told their not good enough to join in. |
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By *exfordMan 10 weeks ago
discombobulated land |
"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
Having just viewed your photos and video I'm just amazed that this site isn't working for you. You are absolutely perfect, just beautiful.
My response generally though having been on here for over 10 years..
The good thing about this site is also the bad thing. You can log on and make a profile, free of charge and be searching profiles within 1 minute. How fantastic is that? Sadly though it means every dreamer, idiot, faker and self pleasurer is on here too.
My best advice, only engaged with profiles at least 3 months old and with at least verifications and some pics. Talk to then and move on straight away if it's all text speak or illiterate nonsense. One longer responses are also a great red warning signal. Beyond that it's just down to the same as everything else in life.. You make a judgement call on them and hope you've placed your bet correctly. Hope my two penneth helps and good luck in your search. Steve xxx |
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By *exfordMan 10 weeks ago
discombobulated land |
"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community.
Having just viewed your photos and video I'm just amazed that this site isn't working for you. You are absolutely perfect, just beautiful.
My response generally though having been on here for over 10 years..
The good thing about this site is also the bad thing. You can log on and make a profile, free of charge and be searching profiles within 1 minute. How fantastic is that? Sadly though it means every dreamer, idiot, faker and self pleasurer is on here too.
My best advice, only engaged with profiles at least 3 months old and with at least verifications and some pics. Talk to then and move on straight away if it's all text speak or illiterate nonsense. One longer responses are also a great red warning signal. Beyond that it's just down to the same as everything else in life.. You make a judgement call on them and hope you've placed your bet correctly. Hope my two penneth helps and good luck in your search. Steve xxx"
Correction.. One *liner* responses... |
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By *AB74Man 10 weeks ago
Midlands |
Like I said before it's been ok for me but even to get a conversation started now is hard work.
Some decent people on here too mind |
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"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
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"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
Well. In four evenings this week i was messaged asking to meet by twelve guys. ( Both here and fabguys). After agreeing everything ten of them abruptly disappeared and one blocked me. The other one wants to meet at some future date. |
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Fab works for me. OP, that’s a “bad run of form”. |
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It works well. Suggest attending a few socials. |
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I seem to get what I want from the site |
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I've not really had issues most if the time.
I chat and work out if there is interest and a connection first generally.
I've met some good people here. |
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Not for me - it really is a woman’s world lol |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I’ve not found what I’m looking for yet |
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By *oufou OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Fab works for me. OP, that’s a “bad run of form”. "
It seems typical for around 45% of users, just FYI. You’ve been lucky. |
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Like everything this site has its ups and downs. However, for a couple like us who don’t have the fortune of a 6-pack and body from a lingerie catalogue, we think we get by OK.
Ps we are glass half full kind of people as you could probably tell |
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By *oufou OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Like everything this site has its ups and downs. However, for a couple like us who don’t have the fortune of a 6-pack and body from a lingerie catalogue, we think we get by OK.
Ps we are glass half full kind of people as you could probably tell "
It probably helps your in Wokingham: Reading to the West, London to the East… plenty of Fabbers around. It gets thinner and harder the more rural you are. |
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"Like everything this site has its ups and downs. However, for a couple like us who don’t have the fortune of a 6-pack and body from a lingerie catalogue, we think we get by OK.
Ps we are glass half full kind of people as you could probably tell
It probably helps your in Wokingham: Reading to the West, London to the East… plenty of Fabbers around. It gets thinner and harder the more rural you are."
That is very true, location is a huge factor on what is available to you… we’d love to come to Somerset |
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The site works depending how you use it as far as guys it could be nervous that they might not perform well and out of fear cancel or they got offered for another meet that caught there attention more could be many things just gotta make sure when you set up a meet they show some sort of proof or confirmation they will come |
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By *oufou OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Somerset |
"The site works depending how you use it as far as guys it could be nervous that they might not perform well and out of fear cancel or they got offered for another meet that caught there attention more could be many things just gotta make sure when you set up a meet they show some sort of proof or confirmation they will come "
We suspect most of the guys we’ve been interested in are probably in a relationship. It’s the most likely reason they cancel. We’re tempted to list them by their username: it would surprise most reading this thread. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
It does work, but most guys like the idea of playing with a couple or get scared when they start to overthink it. Ladies and couples aren't any more reliable, tbh. I got stood up so many times that I lost count, so now it's cheating married women (they know what they want and make time for it) and couples at clubs for me. |
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By *DW1983Man 9 weeks ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
Maybe I'm just noticing it more but there does seem to be a lot more threads like this these days than a few years back. As a single guy I'd say my experience here has been "average" over the years. Getting a reply is hard enough, let alone maintaining a conversation when a woman's inbox is receiving hundreds of messages a day.
I've had plenty of success in clubs but never through here. I don't think I'm the worst guy on here but I'm not sure what might make me stand out above the hundreds of others, other than someone just seeing my picture and liking it.
From the way you speak on here you sound like a couple I'd be interested in, and you're very attractive - and I can tell you all day long I'm genuine, sane, etc, but that's not much use if I'm not your type. Having seen your pictures (stunning!) and read your profile, I'd assume I'm probably not what you're looking for. The site seems to have grown but it does feel like lots of people on here aren't 'genuine' any more. |
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"Works well for me.
So I see… you can ignore this thread then.
Yeah, I probably will. But not yet. I answered the threads’ question. You got good advice from people. Maybe reconsider your selection process if you’re getting loads of time wasters.
Genuinely… how? We only chat with verified guys who have published verifications. Aren’t they supposed to be reliable? We always confirm the date and place ahead of the meeting. We always send them a picture of us that verifies we are genuine. What else can we do? We’re not alone in this here… many couples have the same experiences. "
My experience, as a single male, is that the vast majority of messages I send never get read, and very rarely get any reply. I guess it is a numbers game as I’m probably going for similar woman and couples as many others.
Just to add some confusion here, there is also a bug in the system. I have only ever had one verified meet, which went really well and we both posted a lovely verification which were visible. The lady in question then left the site and the verification disappeared with her. So now it shows I am verified but I can’t display it as it doesn’t exist any more.
OP, can I ask, how many messages you get sent, and how many you reply to? I reply to all but get sent none 😞 |
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Looks like you gave up over 2 years a go by your verifications, Unless you've had over 2 years of no shows?.
But I find that clubs is the way forward.
You have to be clever on here, personally most seasoned fabsters can spot the fakers.
I hope your luck changes
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By *oufou OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Looks like you gave up over 2 years a go by your verifications, Unless you've had over 2 years of no shows?.
But I find that clubs is the way forward.
You have to be clever on here, personally most seasoned fabsters can spot the fakers.
I hope your luck changes
"
We took 2022 out for family reasons. Since January 2023 we’ve had one very successful meet and six no shows: all of them guys with multiple published verifications. And we’re clearly not alone. This site needs an option for negative feedback. |
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By *aza888Man 9 weeks ago
East Grinstead |
Foufou if you’re getting no where even with the looks of your lady then my chances as a 67 year old straight male have got to be very slim. I’m new to site, rarely get a reply and those few seem to be wind ups.
Hoping to network and also doing socials and Spa’s.
Still hopeful but not counting on anything.
Good luck. |
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"...Just to add some confusion here, there is also a bug in the system. I have only ever had one verified meet, which went really well and we both posted a lovely verification which were visible. The lady in question then left the site and the verification disappeared with her. So now it shows I am verified but I can’t display it as it doesn’t exist any more."
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That is not a bug, it's a normal outcome. If someone leaves the site your verification 'text' is deleted accordingly, but your verification 'tally' remains unaffected. That's a feature we all live with, not just you. |
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By *oufou OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Foufou if you’re getting no where even with the looks of your lady then my chances as a 67 year old straight male have got to be very slim. I’m new to site, rarely get a reply and those few seem to be wind ups.
Hoping to network and also doing socials and Spa’s.
Still hopeful but not counting on anything.
Good luck."
The consensus on this thread from those who’ve seen success seems to be clubs, clubs, clubs… but we recognise that we’re geographically removed, cannot accommodate and are looking within a narrow range of criteria. None of the critiques here of our vetting process really hold water… if anything, we’ve been too discerning. |
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By *aza888Man 9 weeks ago
East Grinstead |
Foufou if you’re getting no where even with the looks of your lady then my chances as a 67 year old straight male have got to be very slim. I’m new to site, rarely get a reply and those few seem to be wind ups.
Hoping to network and also doing socials and Spa’s.
Still hopeful but not counting on anything.
Good luck. |
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Then you must be the unluckiest member on fab, I hope that improves.
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By *ee69Man 9 weeks ago
glasgow |
The site needs a modernisation and revamp it’s outdated , some nice folk but it only suits the top percentages of folk or well known folk |
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By *oufou OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Then you must be the unluckiest member on fab, I hope that improves.
"
Judging by the responses to this thread, the problems we’ve had are shared by around 45% of users. |
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We've been here over 7 years and have managed just 2 actual meets. I guess distance has been our biggest issue. |
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There is a lot of time wasters on here who ruine it for the genuine ones they talk a good game but are just sad pervs sat on a computer with no intention of ever meeting sad but true we should get a wall of shame so everyone else can see who is genuine and who is a time waster |
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I also find it's more difficult down south than up north |
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"Foufou if you’re getting no where even with the looks of your lady then my chances as a 67 year old straight male have got to be very slim. I’m new to site, rarely get a reply and those few seem to be wind ups.
Hoping to network and also doing socials and Spa’s.
Still hopeful but not counting on anything.
Good luck.
The consensus on this thread from those who’ve seen success seems to be clubs, clubs, clubs… but we recognise that we’re geographically removed, cannot accommodate and are looking within a narrow range of criteria. None of the critiques here of our vetting process really hold water… if anything, we’ve been too discerning."
If you are an interracial couple like us, there are lots of fantasists, "Nubian queens are on my bucket list", "I've always wanted to fuck a black girl" and, received 2 days ago, "how sweet does your pum pum taste", received from an elderly white man.
I think navigating through those must be very tricky for you, especially perhaps as you are in fairly non-diverse area of the country. Living in London makes it easier, but it's still a lot of blocking people. Feel free to PM if you'd like to chat. |
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" OP I've lived in Somerset for a dozen years now.
Never had a problem meeting. Either locals or people from further away.
The site works. You just need to use it the right way. 🤷♂️
Yes… a several people have said that, but never seem to specify what the ‘right way’ might be.
OK. Here's my take.
You can help yourself by making sure people can get a vague idea if you're likely to be someone that they might want to meet. That means a detailed bio and a variety of photos - of both of you if you're a couple.
Being proactive helps. Don't sit back and wait for people to approach you. Sure, as a couple looking for men you'll get plenty of attention, but is it from people you'd actually consider meeting? Likely not. So go and browse yourselves, send winks and messages to those that catch your eye. You'll at least then be more likely to be engaging with those you've an initial interest in.
And if you can't accomodate then that's your choice, but it will limit your options. Many will be in the same boat, which means hotels or clubs - both of which come with an added expense.
Don't rely purely on Fab to find company. There's plenty of options for organised events, socials and club trips where you can meet people face to face with no commitment. Honestly the best way to get to know people.
Fab is just one part of many options to boost your chances of enjoying the scene. Not the sum of it. 🤷♂️"
Fucks sake - how did that little lecture (very mansplain’y 😑) actually help with the issue of timewasters and no shows / cancellations? No approach or profile tweak (being able to accommodate or being ‘proactive’ just widens the contacts - it doesn’t change behaviours) can mitigate for the increasing snowflake social culture (as an example my kids and many adults avoid making actual telephone calls, can’t stand them - emails and messages allow them thinking time and don’t put them on the spot with a real-time interaction. I think socially there is a change to a removed, remote, online existence where real life interaction is seen as awkward possibly even ‘traumatic’) similarly all ‘people meeting’ sites - hookup, sex, swinging, Fet, dating… they all suffer from people who talk the talk, fantasise and yet don’t take it to a physical interaction because of the potential social anxiety. |
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"We've been here over 7 years and have managed just 2 actual meets. I guess distance has been our biggest issue."
Isn’t there an Aussie equivalent of Fabswingers? S D C or something similar would surely be better than a predominantly UK based swinger website? |
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"Looks like you gave up over 2 years a go by your verifications, Unless you've had over 2 years of no shows?.
But I find that clubs is the way forward.
You have to be clever on here, personally most seasoned fabsters can spot the fakers.
I hope your luck changes
We took 2022 out for family reasons. Since January 2023 we’ve had one very successful meet and six no shows: all of them guys with multiple published verifications. And we’re clearly not alone. This site needs an option for negative feedback. "
I think negative feedback would be an absolute disaster and an administrative disaster. Think of the number of arseholes on here… now give them an opportunity to mark people out with negative feedback. The malicious comments women get for turning down fancy a fuck messages - imagine all those nasty twats being able to press the ‘timewaster’ down-vote button…
However a couple of comments that might help… as someone else pointed out you have a gap in your meet history - this is usually a Red Flag for many people. For me, when it’s a couple profile it’s indicative of the husband keeping the profile alive because the wife went off the idea of swinging a while back and doesn’t want to do it anymore.
The other thing is that you want only VWE men. VWE is a completely arbitrary acronym. What is VWE for you? If you are after a specifically sized cock then actually provide some desirable dimensions, it’ll help men understand if they literally measure up. If VWE is a thick 8” sausage to you, then you might have more men realising that they should get in touch. Right now there could be well-endowed men who are being humble and circumspect that actually, you might want to meet.
‘VWE’ is also an enabler for the time-wasters and braggards- men boast about being VWE take flattering pictures that make it look big and when it comes to actually meeting and having to whip out the ‘beast’ they know what’s going to happen… |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I am looking for gentleman who is respectful can hold conversation who meet for social there seems to be few times on here at moment |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I have had really good meet off here it's finding the right person to connect with |
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I really can't complain with fab ,I like to chat first ,build a connection a bit of flirting ,then we arrange a meet ,if I say I'll meet I do ,unlike many on here ,it can be great on hear if you stick to your own beliefs and go with your gut instinct,
Happy fabbing |
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"I have had really good meet off here it's finding the right person to connect with "
Wow only took you about 17 minutes it looks congrats |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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2 years ago off my old account recently no by the way |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"2 years ago off my old account recently no by the way "
he got to know me made the effort was gentleman that was 2 years ago the men have had message off been awful rude to me stood me up
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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Recently one of them slammed phone down on me rude to me when supposed to meet |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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Trolling people and being rude to people seems to have become the norm on all of social media lack manners respect the way people behave |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"Trolling people and being rude to people seems to have become the norm on all of social media lack manners respect the way people behave "
the old fashioned gentleman type that's rouge treats like princess such turn on and eyes on man
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Depends what you mean by 'work' I guess. Sexual meetings aren't all that common, but this weekend I had a social with a physical meeting planned, so yeah it works; but take a wider view, there are a small number of people/couples i converse with, might never meet for a number of reasons, distance etc, but the conversation is good.
Sure, the majority never 'come off', but surely that's the same for any environment? Go to a pub, see lots of people, catch their eye, most don't respond. Maybe a quick chat, don't hit off, move on. Some you might even hit off, but then life gets in the way and it never goes to the next level.
I doubt the percentages are any different here, but for some reason people seem the expect more, like send a message, be shagging this evening. That's just unrealistic. |
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Yes the site does work if you are prepared to be patient and accept many rejections along the way. |
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It obviously works technically but the pressure on people is intense - if you turn up and don’t perform, there is a long list to take over from you.
Some men succumb to the pressure and bail out |
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For us, FAB is for the tools relating to parties, clubs, social meets and holidays.
The see who's near is brilliant and great fun, especially ing out timewasters.
Without FAB we would never have come across the socials and club nights, which in turn has found us receiving invites to house parties and private events.
As a 121 meet up, we find it problematic, just too much hard work trawling through the dreamers, timewasters, fantasists and plain old nutters.
We tend to go to places where other likeminded people will be, in numbers, like socials, clubs, parties and swingers holiday places, not hope that someone will show up.
But to be fair, we have met some lovely people from FAB but also had our share of complete fruitloops.
Its a site of many parts, what's good for us, maybe not for others.
Just take out of the site what works for you.
Good hunting.
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By *ee69Man 9 weeks ago
glasgow |
"What does op mean ???"
Original poster a think m8 |
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By *ueryMan 9 weeks ago
london |
"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community.
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets "
why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club |
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"
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club "
Because if someone’s time poor, they might not want to spend time on a separate social meet with the risk that someone’s not for them. In a club environment, you can still chat first, and then there are always other options if the vibe’s not there or there’s a no show. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club
Because if someone’s time poor, they might not want to spend time on a separate social meet with the risk that someone’s not for them. In a club environment, you can still chat first, and then there are always other options if the vibe’s not there or there’s a no show. "
you don't have to go to club to do meet |
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"
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club
Because if someone’s time poor, they might not want to spend time on a separate social meet with the risk that someone’s not for them. In a club environment, you can still chat first, and then there are always other options if the vibe’s not there or there’s a no show. you don't have to go to club to do meet "
I think we’re at cross purposes. Most of us are talking about a meet where some variant of sex may happen, not a purely social engagement. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club
Because if someone’s time poor, they might not want to spend time on a separate social meet with the risk that someone’s not for them. In a club environment, you can still chat first, and then there are always other options if the vibe’s not there or there’s a no show. you don't have to go to club to do meet
I think we’re at cross purposes. Most of us are talking about a meet where some variant of sex may happen, not a purely social engagement. "
what's wrong with arrange to have sex after you been in coffee shop or bar I have don't have to go to club |
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By *oxy jWoman 9 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
clubs are a tiny percentage of the scene so lets not make out the clubs are the holy grail because clearly they are not as most swinger never go to them if they did every town would have a club and they would be full with queues of people who cant get in so lets stop the clubs rule ..they simply dont...
however i/we do clubs as for us its by far the best way to meet guys we dont meet/play with couples or women via club we dont need to as we have other successful ways but for meeting guys (not often) its good every now and then we get a hit and a phone number that many meets spawn from this is why we recommend clubs to guys and people who seek guys (not male halfs of couples they are the biggest pain in most clubs)..
the same can be said for these forums they are tiny most people on fab dont come anywhere near them so its not a bible for swingers or a rulebook ...
for guys moaning we what you experience on fab is unique to guys you dont get the same experience as others..
dont put all your eggs in one basket is my advice for couples and women who really want to meet that not putting fab down because fab is by far the best online |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club
Because if someone’s time poor, they might not want to spend time on a separate social meet with the risk that someone’s not for them. In a club environment, you can still chat first, and then there are always other options if the vibe’s not there or there’s a no show. you don't have to go to club to do meet
I think we’re at cross purposes. Most of us are talking about a meet where some variant of sex may happen, not a purely social engagement. what's wrong with arrange to have sex after you been in coffee shop or bar I have don't have to go to club "
the men I am attracted to on here don't go clubs |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club
Because if someone’s time poor, they might not want to spend time on a separate social meet with the risk that someone’s not for them. In a club environment, you can still chat first, and then there are always other options if the vibe’s not there or there’s a no show. you don't have to go to club to do meet
I think we’re at cross purposes. Most of us are talking about a meet where some variant of sex may happen, not a purely social engagement. what's wrong with arrange to have sex after you been in coffee shop or bar I have don't have to go to club the men I am attracted to on here don't go clubs "
been having sex over 30yrs meeting men without going to club so what your saying is I need to go club to meet men have sex |
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By *oxy jWoman 9 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
"
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club
Because if someone’s time poor, they might not want to spend time on a separate social meet with the risk that someone’s not for them. In a club environment, you can still chat first, and then there are always other options if the vibe’s not there or there’s a no show. you don't have to go to club to do meet
I think we’re at cross purposes. Most of us are talking about a meet where some variant of sex may happen, not a purely social engagement. what's wrong with arrange to have sex after you been in coffee shop or bar I have don't have to go to club the men I am attracted to on here don't go clubs been having sex over 30yrs meeting men without going to club so what your saying is I need to go club to meet men have sex "
i have to agree with this a simple night on the town even with hubs can get massive results guys and women this is why i say dont put your eggs in one basket as some hot night are a simple night out.... i even pulled in costa coffee once daytime |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club
Because if someone’s time poor, they might not want to spend time on a separate social meet with the risk that someone’s not for them. In a club environment, you can still chat first, and then there are always other options if the vibe’s not there or there’s a no show. you don't have to go to club to do meet
I think we’re at cross purposes. Most of us are talking about a meet where some variant of sex may happen, not a purely social engagement. what's wrong with arrange to have sex after you been in coffee shop or bar I have don't have to go to club the men I am attracted to on here don't go clubs been having sex over 30yrs meeting men without going to club so what your saying is I need to go club to meet men have sex
i have to agree with this a simple night on the town even with hubs can get massive results guys and women this is why i say dont put your eggs in one basket as some hot night are a simple night out.... i even pulled in costa coffee once daytime "
on club events just seems to be same men week in week out all the men I have spoke to on here who I am attracted to don't go clubs there are loads people on here looking for meets that don't want to go to club |
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"
Always always always meet at clubs It's just easier and more organic. Plus if you vibe with someone you just have that confidence to move to private meets why do you have to go to club to meet what's wrong with coffee shop or bar most of my meets been not in club
Because if someone’s time poor, they might not want to spend time on a separate social meet with the risk that someone’s not for them. In a club environment, you can still chat first, and then there are always other options if the vibe’s not there or there’s a no show. you don't have to go to club to do meet
I think we’re at cross purposes. Most of us are talking about a meet where some variant of sex may happen, not a purely social engagement. what's wrong with arrange to have sex after you been in coffee shop or bar I have don't have to go to club the men I am attracted to on here don't go clubs been having sex over 30yrs meeting men without going to club so what your saying is I need to go club to meet men have sex
i have to agree with this a simple night on the town even with hubs can get massive results guys and women this is why i say dont put your eggs in one basket as some hot night are a simple night out.... i even pulled in costa coffee once daytime on club events just seems to be same men week in week out all the men I have spoke to on here who I am attracted to don't go clubs there are loads people on here looking for meets that don't want to go to club "
You asked why people might want to go to clubs to meet. I gave you a probable answer. I did not say it was the only or best way. Please do not put words in my mouth. |
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I don’t know if this site works it’s hard for a single male to get a meet on here |
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I think OP has a good point about negative feedback, but it can only be left after you have arranged and confirmed a meeting, that way it prevents either party being stood up/ malicious feedback etc.
We have been on and off for several years and every time we come back it gets worse and worse.
Don't get me wrong, seeing club events and meeting people who hosts parties has been fantastic but finding a SM/ couples purely off Fab has been frustrating. |
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Unfortunately a lot of people on here are only after a quick thrill and love the thought of meeting ,but when it comes down to it thay are either to scared or are married x |
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"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community."
You have lovely photos of the female. But maybe if you've put so much effort in, over such a long time and with consistently bad outcomes, just maybe consider the problem might not be "all the others"? |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"We’ve been on Fab eight years. In that time we’ve exchanged messages with perhaps 350-400 guys, and a few couples too. So far, so good.
Of the guys, there were perhaps 70-80 we vibed with, but when we pushed for a meet, 70% either ghosted us or cancelled just ahead of the agreed date.
Of the 15 or so where we actually attended the place and time, the majority stood us up.
We usually send pics ahead of the meet with us holding a note confirming place and time, so there is no doubt we are genuine and committed. So what’s going wrong?
After so long, it’s tempting to think that most single guys here are just tourists, probably living out their fantasies within a frustrated relationship. Which isn’t to say genuine guys exist, but they probably account for less than 10% of the guys here. And by genuine, we mean the reality matches the profile and the expectations set by our shared conversation.
We’ve pretty much given up meeting guys via profiles here now and will focus on attending clubs, but I wondered what experiences other Fabbers have had? It’s still the best site by far, but we do see a lot of anecdotal accounts of similar experiences within the Fab community.
You have lovely photos of the female. But maybe if you've put so much effort in, over such a long time and with consistently bad outcomes, just maybe consider the problem might not be "all the others"? "
not me and that is a fact |
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No it doesn't work ,85% of people are here are let downs ,but now the ones living in hope are goner flame me for it |
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Was on this site yrs ago only ever had two meets one was with a couple one with a single lady . That's only intreast I ever got . The single lady I met is now my wife x |
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I have no problems with the site, many do not realise its full potential. Profile that is interesting, pics other than cocks, meet entries, looking at meets too, nearby searching and so on, you have to put some effort in!  |
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It's hit and miss but there are times that you feel like giving up but then there's that exception that keeps you carrying on maybe if you alter you age preferences every now and then you may get a different response |
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Fab seems to work for me.
I'm a single male, 64 years old, bald, with a face like the northern end of a southbound camel.
If it works for me, it can work for anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I am in to trades man type bit rugged with nice blue eyes Manc accent Liam Gallagher is hot as fuck |
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By *bi HaiveMan 9 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
" OP I've lived in Somerset for a dozen years now.
Never had a problem meeting. Either locals or people from further away.
The site works. You just need to use it the right way. 🤷♂️
Yes… a several people have said that, but never seem to specify what the ‘right way’ might be.
OK. Here's my take.
You can help yourself by making sure people can get a vague idea if you're likely to be someone that they might want to meet. That means a detailed bio and a variety of photos - of both of you if you're a couple.
Being proactive helps. Don't sit back and wait for people to approach you. Sure, as a couple looking for men you'll get plenty of attention, but is it from people you'd actually consider meeting? Likely not. So go and browse yourselves, send winks and messages to those that catch your eye. You'll at least then be more likely to be engaging with those you've an initial interest in.
And if you can't accomodate then that's your choice, but it will limit your options. Many will be in the same boat, which means hotels or clubs - both of which come with an added expense.
Don't rely purely on Fab to find company. There's plenty of options for organised events, socials and club trips where you can meet people face to face with no commitment. Honestly the best way to get to know people.
Fab is just one part of many options to boost your chances of enjoying the scene. Not the sum of it. 🤷♂️
Fucks sake - how did that little lecture (very mansplain’y 😑) actually help with the issue of timewasters and no shows / cancellations? No approach or profile tweak (being able to accommodate or being ‘proactive’ just widens the contacts - it doesn’t change behaviours) can mitigate for the increasing snowflake social culture (as an example my kids and many adults avoid making actual telephone calls, can’t stand them - emails and messages allow them thinking time and don’t put them on the spot with a real-time interaction. I think socially there is a change to a removed, remote, online existence where real life interaction is seen as awkward possibly even ‘traumatic’) similarly all ‘people meeting’ sites - hookup, sex, swinging, Fet, dating… they all suffer from people who talk the talk, fantasise and yet don’t take it to a physical interaction because of the potential social anxiety."
'Mansplainy' ? 😂😂
OK. I mean, I'd have said the same during the decade long period this was a couples profile, but 🤷♂️.
The site is a tool. Nothing more. It gives the ability to make contact. Nothing more.
Like any tool it's how you use it that matters and who you choose to engage with whilst doing so. Timewasters and no shows can be reduced easily by a more astute process. If all you rely on is messages sent with no actual real conversation, either in person or at a pre-play social, then you're far more likely to be disappointed. But I'm not going to teach people to suck eggs.
The major issue has always been people's sense of urgency and putting 100% faith in the honesty and accuracy of what they see on a screen and in a message. Rushing into things and relying on words on a screen will always increase the odds of disappointment.
If people want to reduce the number of let downs they experience it's honestly not that difficult. It just takes a few of the behavioural changes that you mentioned. On the part of the people looking for company as much as those they seek. |
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I started chatting with a new, single female profile two days ago. We’re looking at meeting up next week. No travelling for hours to a club, which only ‘allows’ me (as a single guy) in at certain times, then charges me a gender-biased premium. Just a few messages through here, then find a mutually-convenient meeting place. I find this site works well |
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