FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Not as easy as expected
Not as easy as expected
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"The hardest dynamic is 4 way attraction. " Totally this!!! | |||
"Is it just us or when joining did anybody else expect that it would be a lot easier to meet other similar minded couples? Only to find out that in reality, it's actually hard to find people that you click with and it flows easily." Clubs and socials are way better. Being in the atmosphere and seeing both people in the flesh has far better results for us. At home messaging and perving the “spark” /connection is way harder. | |||
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"The hardest dynamic is 4 way attraction. " Totally!!! When I like them, Jay doesn't and when he does I'm not attracted to them. It's so frustrating. | |||
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"Having an age gap can sometimes add a little difficulty to the situation " You are so right! Have a wink 😊 | |||
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"I have heard finding a four way attraction is a real problem for almost all couples so I don’t think you are alone OP. This is why most couples I know just look for a single guy for the wife as that massively reduces the complications." This is very true for us! Couples are too much hard work, finding mutual attraction, being on the same page when it comes to fun etc. Single guys are also hard work, but less so, and there's a lot of them so it's easier to find potentials. Also, clubs don't work for us for many reasons so here we are...  | |||
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"Thank you for all your advice and view points. It's interesting to hear it from other people's perspective and to know it isn't just us" Definitely not just yourselves... we've only managed to meet two couples. One of which was just a one off and play meet, the other have become friends. | |||
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"Me too I was chatting to man on here seen his arse because couldn't meet straight away I work got things going with on in my life is oh it's too much effort to get to know me arrange for social meet the majority of men in here " any Liam Gallagher look a likes get in touch with Manc accent | |||
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"Couples we figured would be very difficult. We didnt expect single men to be as difficult as it is." Single men, difficult? You have only just discovered? We are our own worst enemy. First of all we moan that we never get any meets so what is the point of being on here. We fire off crude one liner messages to couples or solo women when we are wanking. We bombard couples or women with messages after politely being told no, becoming increasingly abusive. When we finally get invited to meet someone or a couple weeks don't turn up because we loose our nerve. Instead of telling them we just don't turn up and block them. Then we go back to moaning about never getting any meets....... I wonder why? | |||
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"For us , we tend to use fabs as a chat platform and to review clubs . We prefer and tend to meet ( more ) people at clubs, then keep in contact either via here , or regular phone. Saves wasting a lot of time on no shows, also saves on any disappointment if there is no chemistry on the meet. " This  | |||
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"Is it just us or when joining did anybody else expect that it would be a lot easier to meet other similar minded couples? Only to find out that in reality, it's actually hard to find people that you click with and it flows easily." A hell of a lot more difficult now than when we first joined ten years back, things have certainly changed !  | |||
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"The hardest dynamic is 4 way attraction. Totally this!!! " Yep. We don't believe in either of us taking one for the team. | |||
"The site has definitely declined over the years to many fakes and timewasters now…I would imagine it’s the same whatever dynamic your looking at…have female and couples who are friends and they say the same….ahhhhhh the good old days hey? " I joined in 2008. I've never noticed the 'decline' that others claim. Has the site changed? Or is it the people thinking it's changed that have changed? If you think it was better/easier 10 years ago then maybe that's more to do with getting older than anything else? Many seem to think they'll still be attracting interest from the same people they were when they were a decade younger. Unlikely. Believe it or not there were probably the exact same number of people on site 10 years ago as now, in the same ratios of couples vs single men & women. So the numbers haven't changed. The site has added a few new features but is largely as it was back then too. People are quick to mention 'fakes and timewasters' but they have always been around, are usually easy to spot/avoid and people were discussing them back in 2008 (go on the desktop version of the site and you can read forum threads from long ago). So is it really the site? Or is it the expectations of some of the people using it that's 'changed'? 🤔 | |||
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" Believe it or not there were probably the exact same number of people on site 10 years ago as now, in the same ratios of couples vs single men & women. So the numbers haven't changed. The site has added a few new features but is largely as it was back then too. " nope sorry never in a zillion years are the ratios the same today than 10 yrs ago there are far less couples less women and the male influx has been massive and then add in the couples and womens accounts run by single men so no way the ratio is the same just covid alone saw zillions of guys join men outnemer women by massive amount before covid people use to say 100 to 1 its way more now.. if your a woman or couple the site is only easy if you find attraction in all ways.. most but deffo not all guys just want a wet hole woman or man just to shoots nuts   | |||
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"We scroll through our "who has looked at me" list and its and it's; man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man... You get the idea, it sucks quite frankly." That's because most women have 'hide on who's looked at me enabled'. You can filter out single men. | |||
"We scroll through our "who has looked at me" list and its and it's; man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man... You get the idea, it sucks quite frankly. That's because most women have 'hide on who's looked at me enabled'. You can filter out single men. " Your database query shows that does it? Doubtful. It shows us how many couples are looking on here, not that many it seems. | |||
"We scroll through our "who has looked at me" list and its and it's; man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man... You get the idea, it sucks quite frankly. That's because most women have 'hide on who's looked at me enabled'. You can filter out single men. Your database query shows that does it? Doubtful. It shows us how many couples are looking on here, not that many it seems." If you untick that you're looking for single men they won't show on 'who's looked at me' | |||
"Is it just us or when joining did anybody else expect that it would be a lot easier to meet other similar minded couples? Only to find out that in reality, it's actually hard to find people that you click with and it flows easily." Each requirement you put on decreases the pool of availability Your biggest is midweek daytime You are trying to find two people who both like you two and who aren't working or are both able to be available at that time gap When you look at it that way it is going to be harder There may be plenty couples but between kids/work etc they might only have evening and weekend Look at clubs and hope more do that | |||
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"So hard and I'm a single guy " You are an invisible person as your profile is your shop window why would you expect people to stop | |||
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"Is it just us or when joining did anybody else expect that it would be a lot easier to meet other similar minded couples? Only to find out that in reality, it's actually hard to find people that you click with and it flows easily." Snap. Defo agree | |||
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"Is it just us or when joining did anybody else expect that it would be a lot easier to meet other similar minded couples? Only to find out that in reality, it's actually hard to find people that you click with and it flows easily. Clubs and socials are way better. Being in the atmosphere and seeing both people in the flesh has far better results for us. At home messaging and perving the “spark” /connection is way harder. " Absolutely, when I was part of a couple we were regulars at Xtasia and met some lovely couples (and single females as it happens) who, to be honest, probably wouldn’t have even entered our radar browsing online. When you are meeting real people, in the flesh, and engaging with them, you are getting to know the person, not a profile, and you can make that connection. | |||
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"The hardest dynamic is 4 way attraction. Totally this!!! " Definitely this its easier to get a meet with a single bloke. | |||
