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Not as easy as expected
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Is it just us or when joining did anybody else expect that it would be a lot easier to meet other similar minded couples? Only to find out that in reality, it's actually hard to find people that you click with and it flows easily. |
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"Is it just us or when joining did anybody else expect that it would be a lot easier to meet other similar minded couples? Only to find out that in reality, it's actually hard to find people that you click with and it flows easily."
Clubs and socials are way better. Being in the atmosphere and seeing both people in the flesh has far better results for us. At home messaging and perving the “spark” /connection is way harder. |
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If you're outgoing, clubs and social events are absoutely the best way to go over fab.
On here I get zero intrest in my "single male" profile. Its not much better on my wife and I's account either.
But we go to the club or social events (or i go alone)...no problems at all.
Attraction is a lot.nore than just a photo and a few exchanged messages on here.
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I'm half a couple and yes it's very hard to get that attraction between all people.
Add to that you have limited availability and only pics of one person and that will make it even harder.
Maybe think about a club when you're both free or a social, rather than just relying on fab. |
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For us , we tend to use fabs as a chat platform and to review clubs . We prefer and tend to meet ( more ) people at clubs, then keep in contact either via here , or regular phone. Saves wasting a lot of time on no shows, also saves on any disappointment if there is no chemistry on the meet. |
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We only use fab now for group socials and events.
We are both bi and only meet bi couples so trying to find that proper 4 way attraction online is almost impossible plus it's hard to get someone's humour and personality online.
We do group socials and clubs that's alot easier for us xx |
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Time is our enemy. When we started this I was a fool thinking it would be easy to find men to fuck my wife.
Well finding them is easy but since me and her work opposite schedules and she works nights including weekends. I didn't realize how little time we had. Also seems like the "best" men are mature adults, meaning they have their own lives with busy schedules as well lol.
Our schedule also hasn't lined up with any club nights we are comfortable with....yet.
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Yes and no.
To a degree, we thought it would be easier to find couples on here who would be up for social events and stuff more than just a "one off shag" although knowing our schedules can be pretty seperate getting everyone together could be and proves to be problematic sometimes.
C xoxo |
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By *oxy jWoman 5 weeks ago
somerset |
attraction is everything but not the only thing so its not suppose to be easy and its no different online / club / dogging / private parties ... my selection process does not change ...
however like others who have been on this scene for a long long time we've built a big network of play friends just a phone call away couples , women and men.
fab for us is just about guys we dont meet couples / women via fab..
so fab for finding guys its easy to find a hot guy but its hard to find a hot guy on the same page who not filled with porn or childish in their ways but as said above with our little black book we dont really need to look but i do cause sometimes its just nice to meet some one new ..
trouble with couples on here is most are male led where the wife has little interest or kinda being pushed then add in those that are male only as their is no partner.... and then the the male half who want to meet with out his partner or mine knowing i get that online and in clubs...
swinging is only easy if you have been on the scene for years as you gather more and more friends ive/we've over 30+++ years in our little black book from all over the uk and places like germany/neatherlands ... its not suppose to be easy its about fidding those whom you are at the very least sexually attracted to
as for guys well you have major problem with the percentages side of things that will make most guys get nowhere.... |
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Welcome to the wonderful world of fab lol.
Most, not all but most of the that are in the scene to stay eventually end up venting into clubs and socials for meets and the using fab to stay in contact with friends and previous contacts made.
Find a good club that suits what you are looking for. You'll find much more success. But do yoir research, like anything there's good ones and bad ones and what night you choose to go on makes a difference. |
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I agree with all of the above.
We have a slightly different issue. We don't live together and are just short of 100 miles apart. Katie works shifts.
So organising things is tricky to start with. We like to play together where possible, but can and will play seperately. Not an issue for Katie.
Never happens for me.
I guess most people (couples and single fems) think I'm just a single bloke pretending to be a couple just to get a shag. Lets be fair, there's plenty of those. Lol |
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I have heard finding a four way attraction is a real problem for almost all couples so I don’t think you are alone OP. This is why most couples I know just look for a single guy for the wife as that massively reduces the complications. |
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By *oxy jWoman 5 weeks ago
somerset |
people need to realize that the club scene compared to the swinging scene is also tiny .... so dont go thinking that the club scene is the main section of swinging its not its a tiny scene when you consider how many couples n women there are ...if the club scene was as big as some suggest then they would all be full every night and turning couples and women away too as there arew far far to many swingers per club ....
same with these forums alot seem to use the forums as a go to for what to do or rules but again these forums are tiny very few use them and it has no real bearing on the scene as a whole ... dont get me wrong there is some great advice on here but its not the swingers guide / rulebook |
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"I have heard finding a four way attraction is a real problem for almost all couples so I don’t think you are alone OP. This is why most couples I know just look for a single guy for the wife as that massively reduces the complications."
This is very true for us! Couples are too much hard work, finding mutual attraction, being on the same page when it comes to fun etc. Single guys are also hard work, but less so, and there's a lot of them so it's easier to find potentials.
Also, clubs don't work for us for many reasons so here we are...  |
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"Thank you for all your advice and view points. It's interesting to hear it from other people's perspective and to know it isn't just us"
Definitely not just yourselves... we've only managed to meet two couples. One of which was just a one off and play meet, the other have become friends. |
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Me too I was chatting to man on here seen his arse because couldn't meet straight away I work got things going with on in my life is oh it's too much effort to get to know me arrange for social meet the majority of men in here |
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"Me too I was chatting to man on here seen his arse because couldn't meet straight away I work got things going with on in my life is oh it's too much effort to get to know me arrange for social meet the majority of men in here "
any Liam Gallagher look a likes get in touch with Manc accent
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Couples meeting couples will always be the hardest dynamic, whether just via here or in clubs.
You'll always have that need for four way interest and attraction. Made even harder with the prevalence of profiles where 'he' is invisible.
Add in the difficulty of scheduling a time when both couples will be able to meet if they have kids/pets/work shifts or weekends.
Then add the issue if you don't accomodate. Worse if neither couple does. That adds the extra complications of hotels.
It's honestly a million times easier for two singles to meet. 🤷♂️ |
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All the advice/comments above have more than a sprinkle of truth to them. What is working for us is attending socials and events-the seeing of people in the flesh- and then hopefully making fun connections over time.  |
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"Couples we figured would be very difficult.
We didnt expect single men to be as difficult as it is."
Single men, difficult? You have only just discovered?
We are our own worst enemy.
First of all we moan that we never get any meets so what is the point of being on here.
We fire off crude one liner messages to couples or solo women when we are wanking.
We bombard couples or women with messages after politely being told no, becoming increasingly abusive.
When we finally get invited to meet someone or a couple weeks don't turn up because we loose our nerve. Instead of telling them we just don't turn up and block them.
Then we go back to moaning about never getting any meets.......
I wonder why? |
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We find we genrally thrive in the physical world and not so much online. So we don't really make an effort to find people online. Because you really can't get that instant gauge of chemistry that you can when you meet face to face. And it's a huge effort to put a night a side to meet people when that magic maybe lacking in the real world (especially when trying to ballance a busy family and work life). So we mainly have success finding that chemistry and play with people in clubs, parties, organised social events and just on nights out in the vanilla world (that's happened a few times, one was a first time couple we seduced).
So for us we mainly keep it in the real world. And to be fair a couple of our closed freinds we've met in clubs. Not to say we don't/wouldn't meet people from Fab, just all the indications would have to be really strong. |
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Yes and no
We knew that getting 4 way attraction (and perhaps even more problematically 4 way scheduling) would be a challenge. It has proven to be so, at about the rate we would expect.
What we hadn't factored in is... Well for want of a less brutal way of putting it just how high a proportion of the populace in general are actually quite weird and dubiously sane. And once those are taken out of the mix the options become more limited than we had imagined. |
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I agree, it's crazy annoying!
I love clubs and socialising as then I can meet people, get the sexy on and have a laugh.
That being said, it seems a swingers life is nomadic and , in my short time in it, I have yet to make some swinger friends! Lol. It'll come, no doubt, but it isn't easy. |
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"For us , we tend to use fabs as a chat platform and to review clubs . We prefer and tend to meet ( more ) people at clubs, then keep in contact either via here , or regular phone. Saves wasting a lot of time on no shows, also saves on any disappointment if there is no chemistry on the meet. "
This  |
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By *imidWoman 3 weeks ago
Stoke/Cheshire |
I met my other half on here, we have a couples account, the idea to meet other couples. We have had a few socials, we don't want to go a club, we want to start just with another couple, and go a club when we are ready.
Never thought it would be this difficult, |
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It’s definitely the 4 way attraction that’s hardest. One of us has tried “taking one for the team” and while it wasn’t unpleasant it wasn’t really what we want.
In the end it’s actually worked out better to do solo meets
As a couple we now only play at clubs |
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"Is it just us or when joining did anybody else expect that it would be a lot easier to meet other similar minded couples? Only to find out that in reality, it's actually hard to find people that you click with and it flows easily."
A hell of a lot more difficult now than when we first joined ten years back, things have certainly changed !  |
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By *hynot3Man 2 days ago
Middlesbrough |
The site has definitely declined over the years to many fakes and timewasters now…I would imagine it’s the same whatever dynamic your looking at…have female and couples who are friends and they say the same….ahhhhhh the good old days hey? |
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By *bi HaiveMan 2 days ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"The site has definitely declined over the years to many fakes and timewasters now…I would imagine it’s the same whatever dynamic your looking at…have female and couples who are friends and they say the same….ahhhhhh the good old days hey? "
I joined in 2008.
I've never noticed the 'decline' that others claim.
Has the site changed? Or is it the people thinking it's changed that have changed? If you think it was better/easier 10 years ago then maybe that's more to do with getting older than anything else? Many seem to think they'll still be attracting interest from the same people they were when they were a decade younger. Unlikely.
Believe it or not there were probably the exact same number of people on site 10 years ago as now, in the same ratios of couples vs single men & women. So the numbers haven't changed. The site has added a few new features but is largely as it was back then too.
People are quick to mention 'fakes and timewasters' but they have always been around, are usually easy to spot/avoid and people were discussing them back in 2008 (go on the desktop version of the site and you can read forum threads from long ago).
So is it really the site? Or is it the expectations of some of the people using it that's 'changed'? 🤔 |
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By *uzzleMan 2 days ago
Hastings |
Its hard to find people to click with as a single male for sure. This site has more single males then females or couples (maybe combined, a mod would know).
I belive couples are the 2nd hardest category because like others have mentioned there is the 4 way attraction/compatability to contend with.
Next I think its probably same sex couples, simply because there are less of them.
Finally, pussy is the easiest category because of the high cock to pussy ratio. They often receive first contact messages and can afford to be fussy.
Fabbers have the same thing in common allegedly, all looking to get our leg over. However, if you think about it, we are a group of people that have never met, often with naked pictures, who may not have much in common and are looking to engage in the most intimate human act of all.
No wonder it doesn't work!
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By *oxy jWoman 9 hours ago
somerset |
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Believe it or not there were probably the exact same number of people on site 10 years ago as now, in the same ratios of couples vs single men & women. So the numbers haven't changed. The site has added a few new features but is largely as it was back then too.
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nope sorry never in a zillion years are the ratios the same today than 10 yrs ago there are far less couples less women and the male influx has been massive and then add in the couples and womens accounts run by single men so no way the ratio is the same just covid alone saw zillions of guys join men outnemer women by massive amount before covid people use to say 100 to 1 its way more now..
if your a woman or couple the site is only easy if you find attraction in all ways.. most but deffo not all guys just want a wet hole woman or man just to shoots nuts   |
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We didn't really have any specific expectations, but we have certainly found it hard. It's especially difficult when the norm for couples is not having any photos of the man, as if attraction to him isn't a factor worth considering. |
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