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Hooking up at the club
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We loved our first trip to a club so much. It’s been a month now and we still talk about it everyday. We’ve basically had sex everyday since! It’s really super charged our sex life.
We only played together as that was our plan for the first time.
But we want to go back and increase our chances of playing with another couple.
What can we do to make it known we are DTF?
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Talk to people.
It's no different to sending a message on here, with the bonus of actually being able to see and speak to someone in person.
No wondering which half of a couple is reading/replying to you and you can quickly establish interest and attraction (both ways) without waiting around for a message reply.
Plus there's none of the 'who's going to send face pics first' awkwardness you get online.  |
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"
What can we do to make it known we are DTF?
What is DTF please ?"
Down To Fuck !
As above OP. Chat to people. We usually arrange to meet a few couples when we attend a club. Make it clear it’s not exclusive and see how it goes.
If everyone is open and honest you’ll get what you want out of the night. If you can’t be open and frank in a club, where can you be ?
Have fun
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A couple swap is tricky ... in so much as you both need to find each other attractive so firstly make sure you guys have a way of communicating to each other that you fancy the other - a safe word helps!
Chatting to others before can sometimes help... it helps you to look at their profiles a little. See if anyone is bi or if they're soft or full swap only
But on the night you need to add the leg work... chat... be social... ask if they'd like to 'go for a walk' or find a room.
K
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"If you are afraid of rejection you could try a different approach. Play with your partner in a public room and see if anyone asks to join you. "
This us what worked for us when we were in a similar situation as OP. Find a large public room and have fun together. We've found that people tend to approach when we are gently playing, rather than fully going at it probably because most people are polite and don't want to disturb during that. If you stay for long enough, relax together and be patient all sorts of opportunities arise  |
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"I guess I’m still afraid of rejection
Which is ridiculous, I’m a grown woman. But there ya go "
What are you actually afraid of? We quite often tell people no and have been told no thank you ourselves
.. it's not biggy.
Although we actually hate to plan.. so tend to just start playing and if people ask to join in.. we say yes or no according to who/ what/ where etc.
To be fair right now I'm being an incredibly bad swinger as enjoying having Mr all to myself but love the exhibition side of things. |
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What can we do to make it known we are DTF?
Soft play in open rooms. Light play: oral etc. Someone will join in eventually.
There are loads of couples posting meets. Message them. Dont be afraid. They're mostly looking for someone like you anyway. |
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"I guess I’m still afraid of rejection
Which is ridiculous, I’m a grown woman. But there ya go "
Not ridiculous at all. Most people are terrified of rejection bc its a body blow when it happens.
A couple I've met recently said they've seen me around before but they were afraid to ask - which was funny to me bc I assumed they were not DTF at all judging from body language and fact that they just played with themselves. They said they wanted to but didn't know how to go about it. We are all scared little creatures really.  |
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You will 100% have offers declined. That’s not to say 100% of your offers will be declined. The fist thing is that these are no more rejections than choosing to order Indian food over pizza or Chinese isn’t really “rejecting” the rest - it’s just that they are not what you fancy right now.
it could be a gender, race, size, height, outfit, kink, fetish or whatever - it doesn’t really matter and it’s really not personal - unless you’ve really offended them obvs 😂 |
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"We loved our first trip to a club so much. It’s been a month now and we still talk about it everyday. We’ve basically had sex everyday since! It’s really super charged our sex life.
We only played together as that was our plan for the first time.
But we want to go back and increase our chances of playing with another couple.
What can we do to make it known we are DTF?
"
I tend to keep chat to around 20 minutes, in that time there’s typically a will we/won’t we moment. That’s when I say fancy getting a room/ we’re heading to check out room x, fancy joining us?
If they say no thank you, I’ve not committed to much time and can move on, but mostly often they come with. One on Saturday said no at the time and then came and found us 30
Minutes later. It was amazing. Open, honest and clear is my approach. It’s easier for everyone and ensures we have a fun filled night.
Best of luck! Xx |
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"
I tend to keep chat to around 20 minutes, in that time there’s typically a will we/won’t we moment. That’s when I say fancy getting a room/ we’re heading to check out room x, fancy joining us?
If they say no thank you, I’ve not committed to much time and can move on, but mostly often they come with. One on Saturday said no at the time and then came and found us 30
Minutes later. It was amazing. Open, honest and clear is my approach. It’s easier for everyone and ensures we have a fun filled night.
Best of luck! Xx"
Similar to our approach. Be social butterflies and chat away.
What we love about clubs is you can be whoever you want to be, be the best version of yourself, be someone else, be Batman if you like!
You have to take a brave pill and be confident, if you can’t say to someone in a swingers club “would you like to go to a playroom with us”, where can you say it.
Be open and honest, if you like them tell them, if you don’t tell them. We would never be upset if someone said we were not for them, we’d be grateful for the honesty and move on.
Be open and honest on play as well. Nothing worse than not talking about this and then ending up laid on a bed and people either do or don’t want to do something you thought was on or off limits. This wastes everyone’s time and can leave a bad taste.
Most of all, have fun, it’s supposed to be fun
Xx |
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By *etro1940sCouple 10 weeks ago
Kingston upon Thames |
It depends on the club and its scene. In Madrid it is very easy and relaxed and rather "I like the look of your wife, may I borrow her for 30 mins" ... wink. At Hellfire we have found it was wait and see and then announce / proclaim interest to join in a room for play; at Kestrels a cinema group session or "take all cummers" would be followed by a select hook ... it always is different. xx Anne & George |
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We have spoken to people and then suggested going to a room which has ended well but we find the best way for us is to just play in the couples room amongst others playing and generally two becomes four (or more) relatively organically with a gesture, a hand reaching out or a few words spoken. It is normally pretty clear if another couple is interested in company generally or you specifically. Much easier when everyone is lost in the moment. |
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By * and BCouple 10 weeks ago
Durham |
"
What can we do to make it known we are DTF?
What is DTF please ?"
We wondered that??? The world is full of them now and no one knows what folk are on about. What ever happened to good old English  |
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By *reasyMan 10 weeks ago
Caerphilly |
Now this is a very interesting topic. It’s a long time since I went to a club up until last Wednesday last Wednesday I went to an event at Liberty elite but bear in mind I am a single guy.
I enjoyed quite a lot of conversation with different couples. I will be honest you and say exactly what I think. I don’t enjoy being one of the. “wanking dead.” so I don’t do it I did wander to the main room and into the Jacuzzi and then once I left the Jacuzzi there were a few people playing. I saw them watched for a little while and kind of wandered over to one Couple sat on the edge of the bed that they were on And casually said would you be offended and before I’d finish talking both fired back quite abruptly yes we would be offended
now my club experience has been mixed. It’s been favourable and it’s been unfavourable. I don’t have the free time to visit any club on a weekly basis if not more than that but it appears that the people that frequent the clubs really regularly are the ones that get accepted. (Not really the best description) but I suppose they are more in tune with the vibe at the club
But rejection fear is huge in my head so I would always sit and do nothing then be told go away that’s just my thoughts anyway
They also agree being social and being able to Smalltalk and being able to be confident or huge bonuses in both the swingers club seen a I suppose in a normal club social night out |
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By *bflirtyCouple 10 weeks ago
Milton Keynes |
"I guess I’m still afraid of rejection
Which is ridiculous, I’m a grown woman. But there ya go "
We were rejected the first time we went to a club and plucked up the courage to ask a couple. Don't let it put you off x |
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By *kmegoodWoman 9 weeks ago
bradford/ halifax |
I would suggest join in any group chats if you go to an event
I’ve also put a meet on here that some will look at
I find this will give you some familiar faces and I find I am approached more too |
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